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The Negative Side To Drinking

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Lottie38
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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by Lottie38 » 18 Nov 2012 11:26

pitstop wrote:
mrsproblemchild wrote:Black outs!!! waking up panicky with no recollection of the night before, slowly finding all the clues of what happened as the day goes on...sent text messages to boyfriend of stupid, retarded fights.Texted ex BF to tell him I miss him(WTF!) I love my boyfriend to death! Finding broken glass around the house.Seeing all the stupid things posted on Facebook for all to see.3am mariah carey videos posted to news feed....siigggh. :roll: I always fight with objects when I'm drunk.Being embarrassed to even talk to anyone that I may have run across while drunk.
Looking like crap and then going to work, making a bazillion mistakes at work (as a receptionist) Feeling absolutely sick and time stands still.Eating everything in my path and wrecking my diet. Putting off errands.going home to a smoke filled and filthy boozy smelling house and eat junkfood in my own chaos.
Feeling worthless and embarrassed apologizing to boyfriend again and again.Sleeping the rest of it off.
..and then forgetting all of it when I walk past the liquor store.A couple bottles of wine and lie to everyone and lock myself in my apartment and drink all over again.Wake up, blacked out do it all over again..what a nightmare.
I will be working hard to doing recovery right this time this time!! local AA, going to the doctors, getting support on forums, here I come.
Mrsproblemchild, when I read this it bought a tear to my eye because I thought it is the same as my story I am only on AF day 13 and already its all too easy to forget the things youve just mentioned, FB, texts, broken glass, and yes as you say more dread as the day slowly unfolds with the things you find out. Coupled with extreme anxiety, panic attacks and depression because of being caught up in the vicious cycle. But this time I decided I will not live a life like that any more I simply can't. Well done Mrsproblemchild get through today one step at a time and a new life awaits you tomorrow, we are all in this together and here to help. Big hugs <:)>
Me too! I can totally empathise with all those points - the Marian Carey point did make me chuckle , my 3am was portishead (depressing or what) - on facey or singing loud and drunk in my apartment for all to hear. Cringe :oops:
I'm on AF 15 and one of the best bits is coming home to a clean (ish!) house that doesn't smell of stale booze n smoke and doesn't have bottles everywhere. And going to work without getting wafts of stale smells on me - cringing when someone gets near in case they smell it too. Why do we do it? Bloody EAF :twisted:

Lottie x x
You can't pour from an empty cup.

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Annie-
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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by Annie- » 20 Nov 2012 21:47

MrsPC, your post made me sad, but also made me smile with recognition. You could have been describing me! That dreadful detective work in the morning to work out what you were doing the night before. Checking facebook for embarrassing posts and finding drunken notes all round the house. Last night I started writing my will for some reason :? I then went out and walked the streets in the dark and pouring rain. Anything could have happened to me. I went back to the corner shop about four times for more and more booze so am too embarrassed to show my face in there now. I remember my lighter stopping working as it had gotten wet and feeling like that was the worse possible thing that could ever have happened to me! In fact I think I started crying, like I usually do when pissed.

There are SO MANY negative sides to drinking but this shame, guilt and embarrassment is one of the worst for me at the moment. It makes me feel so pathetic.

Back on day 1 today and going to bed in a bit, AF. Good luck to you too <:)>

Annie xx
Eventually, everything connects - Eames

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mrsproblemchild
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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by mrsproblemchild » 25 Nov 2012 05:11

Thanx ladies, glad you can relate.
I can relate to crying when the lighter has died lol.I bawled my eyes out when I ran out of smokes drinking, then I couldn't find my money or even a ash tray to dig through. I woke up my brother just a crying mess, demanding where he had put the ash tray.I used to drink out in parks when I was feeling particularly sad and sorry for myself.
Whats wrong with me, im 27 year young girl, and I drank in the bushes by myself on like a Monday night. :?

I find this thread helpful when my addiction is telling me the wonderful feelings and exciting plans it has in store.
It's lies and this thread is the proof!!
seven days today for me ()o
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world - Not even our troubles - Charlie Chaplin-

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koalaBear
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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by koalaBear » 25 Nov 2012 13:55

Well done on 7 days MrsPC \:)/ Love your avatar by the way.
You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space

Johnny Cash.

MissBlue

Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by MissBlue » 26 Nov 2012 10:18

I thought this link was pertinent to The Negative side to Drinking http://www.montana.edu/wwwai/imsd/alcoh ... itract.htm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

cowboy

Re: The Negative Side. To Drinking

Post by cowboy » 26 Nov 2012 11:40

Thanks Miss Blue.

Listen. I drink to get drunk - period. And the more wrecked I can get the better. After I am drunk I will smoke anything in sight and put God knows what into my defenseless body. I do not care at the moment about the repercussions. I do not care about my family and those I love. I care only about getting completely obliterated.

If that is not the Negative Side to Drinking I don't know what is. Except for the morning after - that's charming.

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Steve W
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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by Steve W » 30 Nov 2012 10:15

Some of these comments made me laugh and cry at the same time . Facebook rambles answering the phone and ringing people pissed in the morning while feeling invincible to name a few .
One of my recent episodes resulted in me destroying our kitchen , new table and chairs , oven , kenwood , kettle , toaster , anything that wasn't bolted down , ceiling walls and tiles plus the laptop that was in the wrong place at the wrong time ! I then drove to the service station to buy some cigs came back mixed another large one then puffed and drunk through the cleanup . Woke up with my feet and legs covered in blood (should have worn shoes lol ) . Did this wake me up , no !! I am a nice caring emotional sensitive grandfather , maybe not . I even think now my issues are minor I am just capable of being the happy drunk , the obnoxious drunk , and an outrageous self righteous monster with zero control although I'm never violent to people thank god otherwise the day after slightly suicidal self loathing thoughts would be too much to bear . I've been drinking for 30 years so I obviously cannot moderate as I look back with shame on most of my drinking life .
At the moment it is an unbelievable high waking up with no aching kidneys and a clear head , hopefully my sleep quality will improve but being tired is awesome compared to being dry retchingly hungover and I am looking forward to repairing my loathsome wrongdoings as I fix stuff for a living ?
Cheers everyone I will post quickly before I delete yet again , lets do this we are better than we think .
Cheers Steve 8-)
Instant ******* just add alcohol !

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mrsproblemchild
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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by mrsproblemchild » 30 Nov 2012 21:40

Steve!!
That's terrible you destroyed your kitchen!

It makes me feel a tad better reading that because my last blackout was me destroying a computer monitor and a lamp durring a blackout and woke up to blood and glass!
I'm not the only one who fights with objects while drunk!what did my lamp ever do to me!! :?

That was the last time I got drunk, exactly two weeks ago!

Take pride your doing somthing about it now!

Cheers! ;)?
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world - Not even our troubles - Charlie Chaplin-

leslans

Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by leslans » 11 Dec 2012 16:36

It turns me into a selfish, loud, embarrassing mess.

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ashley2011
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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by ashley2011 » 14 Dec 2012 08:43

Too much drinking makes you UGLY!!!

MT Glass
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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by MT Glass » 16 Dec 2012 20:00

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... itain.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Plenty of negatives there!

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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by Thechief » 17 Dec 2012 20:11

Mrsproblemchild I too can relate to all of that!! The facebook posts made me chuckle. After a blackout the dread the next morning logging on and being totally embarrassed by what's on there. Can't hit delete fast enough. Oh and then the calls and texts. I took to burying my head in the sand, and just deleting all sent texts and call log without trying to read it!!

I think I've almost always drank until blackout. Other negatives for me include unexplained bruises, cash withdrawals I can't remember, bets I've placed that I can't remember, and checking bank statement for card purchases in pubs that I don't even remember being in!

These are the lighter, slightly funny was, if I can call them that. Other really negative ones for me are a drink-drive conviction, drunk and disorderly, losing several jobs and the intense anxiety and depression that follows a drinking session.

After a few weeks of not drinking, I normally trick myself into believing I'll be ok and can only have a couple... that's when this forum and threads like this inparticular, will be invaluable. 13 years of problem drinking have taught me that I can't!!

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Action
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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by Action » 21 Dec 2012 00:52

Drinking :cry:
#38 on 2020 Challenge
Take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. Mark out a straight path for your feet.

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Lottie38
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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by Lottie38 » 21 Dec 2012 11:27

MH I also feel like I need to write this down as a reminder as the silly season gets sillier.

I need to remember the shame of being so drunk I can't remember getting home (still no idea), nearly getting arrested, being thrown out of bars for being too drunk, not being allowed in to bars for being too drunk, strange men in my house who's names I can't remember, losing respect at work from subordinates due to drunken work night out behaviour (see above); relationship / potential relationship break downs due to drunken arguments, lying about whereabouts, inability to go for a 'nice' evening out without being hammered by 8pm and having to be taken home, telling secrets and not remembering I've done it, telling lies and not remembering I've done it; getting on the right tram but in the wrong direction and having to sit on it all the way there and back looking obviously pie eyed and clueless, singing loudly and smoking and drinking alone in my house for all my neighbours to hear and laugh/pity me, constantly worrying the next morning at work that everyone knows I was drunk and most probably isn't surprised, worrying that I smell of stale drink or BO because I've been so hungover and late for work I haven't had time for a shower.

Feeling like sh1t all day because of the above but still only wishing the day would hurry up so I could get back home and start it all again.

The longer I try to be AF the more honest I am being with what a mess I was in. how I still have a job and friends is quite unbelievable.

Rant over. Thanks Lottie x x
You can't pour from an empty cup.

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Rachel
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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by Rachel » 21 Dec 2012 11:38

Here you go, Slingy
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Rachel

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Lottie38
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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by Lottie38 » 21 Dec 2012 11:40

Hehe no I was actually trying to be serious but it's a bit difficult when you list how bl00dy ridiculous you are when on the vino!!

And what's with the singing?! So many people do it! Guns n roses brilliant!! Mine were usually a belter rendition of christina Aguilar, Adele, or Amy wine house. What great choices for a squeaky tone deaf budgie like me :/

Lotts x x
You can't pour from an empty cup.

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Lottie38
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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by Lottie38 » 21 Dec 2012 11:40

Hahaha loving the febreze!!!
You can't pour from an empty cup.

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Biggles
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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by Biggles » 21 Dec 2012 12:15

Slingy...you sound gorgeous :shock:

Have had a great time unblocking the loo ....tried to do it using length of bamboo but in the end had to get in there with marigolds and now off to muck-out the horse. Will soon be just as lovely as Slingy ( though no carrier bags) :?

Right...must go.
Things on the radio keep making me cry this morning. Must get a grip!

Bxx
( Note to self.... ) GO AND DO SOMETHING !!!!
#31 for 2013.

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DannyD
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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by DannyD » 21 Dec 2012 12:22

In fact, Slingy sounds so yummy we might have to re-start his harem.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Rachel
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Re: The Negative Side To Drinking

Post by Rachel » 21 Dec 2012 13:47

DD wrote:In fact, Slingy sounds so yummy we might have to re-start his harem.
:D
Rachel

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