New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
Nowornever
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Nowornever »

Welcome Bingeaholic,

You have made the most important moves; realizing it and acting on it.
I am new myself. I am a binge drinker, too and I am just amazed at all the people who are binge drinkers on this site. I think you will get a lot of support here.

Stay well
Nowornever

mgk
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by mgk »

Hi All,
My name is Kevin and I live in Yorkshire, England. I need help to stop drinking. I am what I believe is called a functioning alcoholic. I am nearly 40 and have been drinking non-stop since I was 17 or 18. I don't drink during the day, however, once it gets to about 6pm I start thinking about having a drink - its like I don't have a choice, its a compulsion that I can't stop. I usually drink a minimum of 2 bottles of wine every night. Usually I am fine in the morning other than feeling really peeed off that I drank the night before. Other mornings are not so good (like today - last night was 2 bottles of white and a bottle of Pimms that my gf had bought).
I had a good childhood so I don't believe there is anything traumatic that is driving my addiction, quite the opposite. I associate drinking with good times and going out with friends to clubs, gigs, meals etc. this makes it even harder to stop. I can't seem to plan anything without it involving a drink.
I tried talking to my gf about this about 10 years ago and she told me not to worry about it - advice she bitterly regrets now. Doctors don't seem to take it seriously. I can tell that friends are starting to tell that I have a problem (which probably means they've been thinking that for quite a long time now).
6 years ago I gave up ciggarettes solely on willpower alone and have not had a single relapse since. I have tried to do the same with alcohol to no affect. I think the longest i have gone without a drink is about 20 days. It is turning me into a depressive - I find it very,very difficult to get excited by things or take any real enjoyment from life.
Last year I quit my job and started my own company with a product that everybody who hears about it says will do really well - but over the last 6 months I have lost my motivation and I know that a good part of the reason for it is down to drinking and the apathy that it is causing me to drown in. If I don't snap out of it my business will go under in the next 6 months.
But thats not my main reason for wanting to stop - I really, really, really want to stop drinking and hate that I have become dependent on it.
So today is the first day of sobriety.
I have a drinking problem and therefore I should not drink. I am hoping that by having a place to share my thoughts and feelings I can get through what will be a very difficult stage of my life.
(Sorry if this is long and rambling - hopefully it makes sense).
Kevin

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wystan
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by wystan »

Welcome Bingeaholic and Kevin.
BA you will see that me and a couple of other people in the current "intake" are also struggling with binges. I don't know who to feel more sorry for - we who do outrageous things then get to feel awful chemically and ethically or the big drinkers who sink one or two bottles of wine night after night like Kevin. I think we've all got it really bad.
There's the pressure of society and then there's well-meaning friends and partners who enable because they don't understand plus a general level of denial in the media (where drinking is rife - I know first hand) as well as a general culture of drinking. It's really really hard to understand that one is different and not feel weak and to stop and stay stopped. If it were not so difficult and sad it would be extremely interesting because there are so many variables!
BA I wonder if you can expand a bit on what you did that night - it sometimes helps to share even if it feels bad. You will find that someone here will have done something similar - so you will know you are not alone.
Kevin - dude that is a lot of booze for a long time! I must say I'm perversely impressed you can function at all! Well done for coming here any way because surely you couldn't stay healthy as you are for much longer. Have you thought about how you will cope with quitting? I worry you will have DTs and as you might know these can be deadly (literally) or cause brain damage.
Michael

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." — Dr. Seuss

Last drink, 10 August.

sarahmae
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by sarahmae »

I have just joined this morning & am hoping this site will help. I am a 38 year old wife & mum of 3 (aged 8,7 &3) and have always been a bit of a binge drinker although recently this has become worse. I regularly drink one to one & a half bottles of wine at least 4/5 days per week. One bottle is rarely enough & once I start drinking I don't seem to have the mechanism that some do just to stop when had enough. I am well known for drinking more than most but friends just seem to laugh it off? Recent night out saw me drinking until I literally couldn't stand. We had to walk home & I fell most of the way (my husband & 3 year old were with me...I am mortified)...goodness knows who saw me I dread to think. I woke this morning with numerous bruises & a very cross husband (understandably). This is not the first event of its kind over the years but I now feel I really need help. The shame of how I behaved is crippling me.

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Topcat
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Topcat »

Welcome to BE MGK,

That is a very high intake of wine and, in view of that, it might be better (and safer) for you to taper off first. Cut down over about 3 days before stopping completely. The best course of all, though, would be to see your GP for possible medication and advice.
#5 on the 2021 Challenge
When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

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Topcat
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Topcat »

Welcome Sarah,

You might like to join the others on the 7 Day Challenge - you'll find it under "Sobriety Challenges" in General Recovery. You'll find others there all starting out on the sobriety road. Read all round the Threads though and post wherever you like. Good luck ;)?
#5 on the 2021 Challenge
When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

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wystan
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by wystan »

Hi Sarah - yes we are all on the seven day thread, getting warmed up for sobriety. You'll find we all have morning after feelings of shame like this. It's mostly the alcohol. Once you move through the first two or three days you will feel much better.
Michael

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." — Dr. Seuss

Last drink, 10 August.

Bingeaholic
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Bingeaholic »

Hi everyone, thank you so much for the lovely warm welcome.

Um, regarding what I did last night. I became spiteful, vindictive and for the first time threatened violence!

I a disgusted with myself to be honest, my drunk persona is a world away from my sober one. I will not be that person again.

So, I'll be off to the seven day challenge and look forward to many sober conversations :lol: with you all.

BA.

lauraaa
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by lauraaa »

Hi everyone. I'm new to the site. I had to seek help because my drinking is getting out of hand...

I'm 22 years old and started drinking to get drunk on my own in my last year of university, about 8-9 months ago, it continued until my exams in may/june. I've always been a big drinker, but i would say that's part of being young and going out etc. It's hit me now that it's no longer fun and games, I have a problem. Nothing particularly made me start. I've had a very privileged upbringing. Loving parents, great relationship with my brother and I've always been very popular at university. But I have very low self esteem and confidence and alcohol made me confident and charismatic. I managed to cut down loads and I almost stopped drinking altogether, but for some reason the last month i've been drinking every day either 2 bottles of wine or almost a litre of vodka/gin daily. I live at home with my parents and i'm constantly sneaking alcohol into the house. There's a horrible amount of empty bottles hidden around my room.

I've got a history of mild depression and anxiety. Drinking momentarily helps this and i know it's not helping in the long run, I studied psychology at university so I'm very much clued up on the matter. But that's not stopping me doing what i'm doing. I've had 3 panic attacks since my drinking got really bad.

I recently got a boyfriend a few months ago, we'd been friends for several months before we started going out. He knows i'm prone to drinking, and during my heavy drinking at university he never left my side and really looked after me. He doesn't know i'm drinking again, i even sneak alcohol into my bag when i go to stay at his cos my confidence is so low. I give off a really confident persona but deep down i'm a shy nervous wreck, hence the drinking.

My parents have noticed i'm acting strange and drinking; i'm filled with guilt and remorse. I'm also starting a postgraduate course in september and i really have to nip this in the bud before my life becomes a train wreck :cry:

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DannyD
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by DannyD »

Hi Laura, welcome to BE. Not long ago (= in my memory) I did an A level at the local sixth form college, with all the sixth formers. I was older than the teacher (and believe me, he wasn't young). I distinctly remember having a couple of drinks before the written paper beause I was so nervous. duh. That was so going to help. Studying and drinking doesn't work for me. I expect you'd get better results if you were always sober too.

Hae a read around and post where you want. There is nothing that we haven't heard before. It's been very brave of you to take this first step. Good luck.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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beautifulcat
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by beautifulcat »

Hi all
Im new to the forum, I have finally stopped drinking, after struggling for so many years. It has been 6 months next week, but I know Im a long way from being there, wherever it is Im heading. I honestly thought what i've done is impossible, and im amazed every day; I cant tell anyone not to drink, and even when i say it is possible to stop, when you're in a hole, in that dark dark mess, its impossible to believe. Ive been there; when i first stopped, one of the hardest things was facing the years of mess i'd accumulated through drinking, and coming to terms with the all too numerous losses i'd encountered because of it. The hurtful things ive done, and the things I have let happen to me seemed all too much to bear. And if someone had told me at the time that time would make it better, well, if id had the strength I would have wanted to punch them. But it does, and people have forgiven. Some people are lost forever, but im coming to terms with that. People tell me not to regret, but im human and I do, I regret the complete waste of my life, the years that ugly little bottle stole from me. Well, no more. It can't have any more of me, my loved ones or my life. I say all this, and some of you may be thinking, god just zip it, so I will :) but one last thing - Im not saying this is easy - but its getting easier - im not a patient person and it takes it out of me, its the hardest battle ive ever had to fight. So I write to you people in the hope that together we can build an army - and supporting each other through something only we can understand - we can win this war.
Love to you all and Im here if anyone needs me
Cat x

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beautifulcat
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by beautifulcat »

lauraaa wrote:Hi everyone. I'm new to the site. I had to seek help because my drinking is getting out of hand...

I'm 22 years old and started drinking to get drunk on my own in my last year of university, about 8-9 months ago, it continued until my exams in may/june. I've always been a big drinker, but i would say that's part of being young and going out etc. It's hit me now that it's no longer fun and games, I have a problem. Nothing particularly made me start. I've had a very privileged upbringing. Loving parents, great relationship with my brother and I've always been very popular at university. But I have very low self esteem and confidence and alcohol made me confident and charismatic. I managed to cut down loads and I almost stopped drinking altogether, but for some reason the last month i've been drinking every day either 2 bottles of wine or almost a litre of vodka/gin daily. I live at home with my parents and i'm constantly sneaking alcohol into the house. There's a horrible amount of empty bottles hidden around my room.

I've got a history of mild depression and anxiety. Drinking momentarily helps this and i know it's not helping in the long run, I studied psychology at university so I'm very much clued up on the matter. But that's not stopping me doing what i'm doing. I've had 3 panic attacks since my drinking got really bad.

I recently got a boyfriend a few months ago, we'd been friends for several months before we started going out. He knows i'm prone to drinking, and during my heavy drinking at university he never left my side and really looked after me. He doesn't know i'm drinking again, i even sneak alcohol into my bag when i go to stay at his cos my confidence is so low. I give off a really confident persona but deep down i'm a shy nervous wreck, hence the drinking.

My parents have noticed i'm acting strange and drinking; i'm filled with guilt and remorse. I'm also starting a postgraduate course in september and i really have to nip this in the bud before my life becomes a train wreck :cry:

Hi Laura,
I know exactly where you're coming from, mine started the same sort of way, water bottles filled with vodka, sneaking vodka everywhere, the stuff that starts at uni in this way ends up going bad. Unfortunately I didnt seek help at the time, that was a lot of years ago and I did mess up my postgrad studies and lost the opportunities that many would kill for, in the end it was just me and the bottle, friends and boyfriends long gone and regrets by the bucket load. It took me a long long time getting worse before better. Its amazing that youre on this forum and identifying it at this stage while you still have things to hold on to and fight for, because the more you lose, the less you fight for what you have left. The confidence issues are bigger than some people think, drinking changes you, you think its making you into the person you want to be but its taking that person away bit by bit without you noticing. I dont want to preach as if someone had told me at the time what my life would have ended up like I wouldnt have believed them but trust me it does, ive known a lot of people through the place I go for help (not AA - wasnt for me) from all walks of life but the end result is the same and I wont wrap it up, its the loneliest most hellish hole imaginable. All im saying is its early enough for you to not get so deep that theres no way back - yeah im sober and its a hell of a lot better than drunk and ill, being in and out of hospital etc, but I cant get my life back. Maybe thats why I feel so much for you and your situation - talk, but above all, try, fight even if it hurts and you hate being you, because the drink will take away any little shred of esteem and life you have left. I wish I'd accepted that I wasnt the loudest or the funniest and that I was pretty much a bridget jones walking disaster - because its better than being nobody, which given time, the drink will make you. People like you - youre popular - you have a boyfriend - I know this may not help as you have esteem issues, but please dont let that ugly little bottle take those things from you. Im here if you need me,
Love Cat x

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beautifulcat
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by beautifulcat »

Unicorn1 wrote:Hi Beautifulcat - PLEASE don't 'zip it' - what a truly inspirational first post. It was particularly timeous for me to read as I'm tapering, in readiness to start my next period of sobriety on Wednesday. I'm determined and hope this time it lasts longer than the last period..... :D

Welcome to BE Cat, it will be great to have your support and words of wisdom and should you ever need any support yourself - there's lots of fellow soldiers here to assist. <:)> Unicorn x

Thankyou Unicorn :)

Rubyred
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Rubyred »

Hello all,
I have been reading all the comments on quite a few of the forums for the past couple of months but have decided I need to admit to someone (even if its anonymous) that I have an alcohol problem
For the past few months the lohngest I have gone between drinks is four days.When I do drink its in the evening and between 6 and 10 cans of lager. If it wine then I always buy 2 bottles as 1 is never enough. I was made redundant about a year ago after being on long term sick.
I look in the mirror and dont recognise me, the person staring back is not in a good place and I want to change. This is Day 1 (yet again)
I know I will wake up on Day 2 full of good intentions and I intend to take it one day at a time.
Good luck people

xx

barbarella
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by barbarella »

I am back on this site because it really helped me last month when I first discovered it...I did not drink for three days and then the pressures of work and living in a city that I dislike immensely came back, and the nightly drinking began once again. Two weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me, one of the reasons was my alcohol intake. He said it makes me too high energy, I don''t sleep enough and I say things that are hurtful. So, after two weeks of trying to prove him wrong, that I can stop, I realized that I need the support once again of the others on this site. I don't want to drink, I LIKED the way I felt after just three days of abstinence! It made such a difference, and I am starting, today, to begin the journey once again.

I really like reading the posts - the support here is overwhelming and it is like having a friend right there with you.

Wish me luck on making forward progress each day!

Rubyred
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Rubyred »

Thanks Tinkerbell, I do feel a lot more positive now I have actually admitted I have a problem.
will post again tomorrow

xx

lauraaa
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by lauraaa »

Thank you for such a warm welcome, I've spent hours today reading over everyone's stories. I'm so glad to have found the site, what a lovely community of people. I really appreciate your responses, and I'm even more enthusiastic to nip this in the bud before it gets out of hand.

I'll be sure to speak to many of you again soon \:)/ xx

achristop

Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by achristop »

Hi Lauraaa and a very warm welcome ;)?

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CJ
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by CJ »

beautifulcat wrote:Hi all
Im new to the forum, I have finally stopped drinking, after struggling for so many years. It has been 6 months next week, but I know Im a long way from being there, wherever it is Im heading. I honestly thought what i've done is impossible, and im amazed every day; I cant tell anyone not to drink, and even when i say it is possible to stop, when you're in a hole, in that dark dark mess, its impossible to believe. Ive been there; when i first stopped, one of the hardest things was facing the years of mess i'd accumulated through drinking, and coming to terms with the all too numerous losses i'd encountered because of it. The hurtful things ive done, and the things I have let happen to me seemed all too much to bear. And if someone had told me at the time that time would make it better, well, if id had the strength I would have wanted to punch them. But it does, and people have forgiven. Some people are lost forever, but im coming to terms with that. People tell me not to regret, but im human and I do, I regret the complete waste of my life, the years that ugly little bottle stole from me. Well, no more. It can't have any more of me, my loved ones or my life. I say all this, and some of you may be thinking, god just zip it, so I will :) but one last thing - Im not saying this is easy - but its getting easier - im not a patient person and it takes it out of me, its the hardest battle ive ever had to fight. So I write to you people in the hope that together we can build an army - and supporting each other through something only we can understand - we can win this war.
Love to you all and Im here if anyone needs me
Cat x
Every so often on this site I came across a post that is just so inspirational I want to share it with everyone! This is one, Cat. I think it is one that acts as motivation to people to stop, and also for people like me to stay stopped. thanks you so much for sharing that, congratulations on your 6 months, and don't ever "zip it", but please keep posting on this site. Welcome also to lauraaa.
Cj
xx
"My urge is never to have just a glass even if the EAF pretends it is, my urge is to get wasted. When I am getting urges like that it is impossible for me to kid myself that I no longer have a problem." Pineapple

DarcyDressingGown
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by DarcyDressingGown »

Morning all (just)!
I have been browsing around this website for a few days, and have decided that today is my first full day of not drinking.
I know I have a problem. I will be frank and honest. I drink a bottle of vodka a day. A 75cl one. I start approx 8am and finish about 10.30pm.
I have a partner and a teenage child, both can see that I like the drink. My partner has nudged me several times about it, he's also tried to talk about it a few times but he has already said that he finds it difficult to talk about it and he will 'need help himself' if it continues.
I guess it all started when I was about 15, going out clubbing etc. My mum died when I was 12 my dad fell out with me when I was 18 (he died when we were still not talking). My ex relationship broke down Christmas Day one year. Not trying to find reasons, but all of these things snowballed the situation. Things just got bigger and bigger and... here I am :/
I don't have a job at the minute, (left due to bullying boss), which I think has made it worse the past weeks. Sat indoors.
People who knew me at my last job will have NO idea that this is how I am. At my leaving speech words to describe me were 'fun', 'entertaining', 'loyal' etc. Always the happy one. Loud one.
I didn't have a drink last night for the first time in a while. I had the sweats in bed and my heart pounded. I fell asleep eventually though. I got up late deliberately (approx 11am). I haven't had a drink so far today. I feel okay at this minute. In 5 minutes time it may be different!
I know I have to change. I've tried before but I need to this time.
Hopefully I can find friends here!?
Thanks xxx

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