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New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
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DannyD
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by DannyD » 11 May 2013 08:54

Morning Audrey and welcome to BE. I'm a year down the line, and I've learnt (from others on here), that socially, after the first couple of drinks, no one else cares what you're drinking. So, you can tell them you are on antibiotics - which is a favourite, you can say you're having a detox week, juiceing only for a couple of days, it's a new diet, or simply that you're trying to give up alcohol for a while. Designated Driver is always quite useful as well. And what about a group challenge when you go out - to find the best tasting AF (alcohol free) drink everywhere you go?
Good luck.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Mark.
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Mark. » 11 May 2013 09:01

Hi Audrey37 - and welcome!

Please have a good look around the forum, and post wherever and whenever you want to. I know you'll find a great range of advice and support from some really kind, lovely people. [EDIT: See? In the time it's taken me to write this, you've already received a few replies!]

Just to begin with, I'd suggest checking out the First 7 Days thread - starting with a promise to yourself to try and get through a week without alcohol can be very helpful - it gives the brain and body a chance to clear, and it will give you some idea of how much hold alcohol has over you.

This is normally a great place to start, unless you feel you are drinking so much that you might suffer serious withdrawal symptoms, in which case I'd advise you seek professional medical advice (and also check out the Cutting Down and Tapering Off threads; there are other similar ones concerning withdrawals too).

I'd also have a look at the Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges for advice on what to tell people. There are so many things you could tell people! You could just tell them truth. Personally, though, I started out by using little white lies, like I was on antibiotics, or I had a busy day ahead of me tomorrow and didn't want to drink.

Staying AF (alcohol-free) in the company of drinkers can be tough to being with. However, it's possibly not as awkward as you'd imagine. Refusing that first drink can be hard. But once your friends have had a couple of drinks, they tend (in my experience) to forget you aren't drinking and the rest of the evening becomes a lot easier. There's nothing like listening to people waffling on in a drunken way, saying things they are going to regret the following morning, to make you glad you stayed sober ;)

Also, the sense of personal achievement in spending a night out sober does give a really good boost to your self-esteem.

It's not easy, but it can be done - and doing something about your drinking (if it is causing you worry or affecting your health) is probably one of the greatest things you can do in life. It gives your life back.

Very best wishes, and I'll look forward to seeing you around the forum,
Mark
Nie chwal dnia przed zachodem słońca.

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Finley
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Finley » 11 May 2013 12:20

Hi Audrey. A big welcome to BE ;)? You've already been given great advice by the others and I'd say it's quite surprising to see how easily other people accept that we're not drinking if we choose not to when we're out in their company. People who don't 'problem drink' don't see anything strange in others choosing alcohol free options - whether you give them a reason or not (if you weren't a problem drinker, you might just not fancy a beer, glass of wine or whatever on that particular evening).

I have a lot of friends who are actually quite heavy drinkers themselves, and when I go out with them and want to stay 'dry', I choose to take the car - so no further explanation is needed. I have used the old 'antibiotic' ruse on a couple of occasions. There's just a couple of very close friends who I've felt OK enough about to tell them the truth - that my drinking levels had reached dangerous and damaging levels (in all kinds of ways) for me - so I'm cutting back/cutting it out.

Very best of luck and do post wherever you feel you'd like to. The first 7 days is a great place to start, but there's lots of other threads including some 'general interest' ones. Look forward to hearing how you're getting on :)
I want to be the best me I can be ...

LimeTree
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by LimeTree » 11 May 2013 12:52

Hello everybody. This is my first post. Where to start with the piece of crap my life has become. Haven't drank for 4 days. I'm crying inside today......how am I going to stop drinking when I feel this alone ? I guess I don't want to be alone and that's why I'm posting...

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Topcat
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Topcat » 11 May 2013 13:00

Hi LimeTree,

Welcome to BE and, as Amarok has said, you're not alone - we're all in this together <:)> Here's a link to THE FIRST 7 DAYS CHALLENGE to save you hunting for it.

Good luck and look forward to seeing you around ;)?
#5 on the 2020 Challenge
When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Finley » 11 May 2013 13:11

Hi Limetree and welcome to BE. TC has pointed you in the direction of the First 7 days - and since you're on day 4 of not drinking, I reckon that's a great place to start. There'll be others there at a similar stage to you - some with fewer days under their belts too. Drinking can become a really isolating activity - I think you'll find many other people here have lost confidence in themselves through their alcohol problems. I reckon it can feel really scary trying to establish a social life 'sober', when we're used to relying on booze as our crutch - but tackle the alcohol problem, be kind and gentle with yourself, take support (loads of it here) and then gradually you'll start to see new possibilities. Very best of luck, and hope to see you posting x
I want to be the best me I can be ...

leslans

Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by leslans » 11 May 2013 21:02

Hi all. Not a new member but a rejoin!!!!! I have not been getting pissed just drinking way too much. After tonight I am off the booze. I need to lose weight, just drink every night for no reason at all.

leslans

Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by leslans » 11 May 2013 21:29

Ok. So I need support even though I am not new. Please help. I have been here a lot so maybe that's why no one is talking to me :)

achristop

Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by achristop » 11 May 2013 21:46

Hey Franksd....have a heart buddy! We can't be on here on every thread all the time. Welcome back to Bright Eye and stop getting paranoid...no one is ignoring you...honestly! ;)?

MissBlue

Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by MissBlue » 12 May 2013 00:01

franksd wrote:Hi all. Not a new member but a rejoin!!!!! I have not been getting pissed just drinking way too much. After tonight I am off the booze. I need to lose weight, just drink every night for no reason at all.
See you on the 7 days tomorrow <:)> .

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by winolou72 » 12 May 2013 00:59

Hi folks, I guess we're all here for the same reason. Like many of you, I cringe at the word alcoholic, and I'm sure my family have no idea about my battle with the booze. I feel truly ashamed and so weak that this vile substance takes up so much of my day to day life (thinking if not drinking). I kid myself that I don't have a problem, cold turkey for a day or two, feel fine, forget the pain and then pretend I need to reward myself in some way...and you'll all know what that will be!! I'm currently halfway down a bottle of gin, and have had a few baileys too. This is just hair of the dog and will help me fall asleep tonight. I won't be drinking tomorrow and never drink when I have work the next day. Unfortunately, I only work 2 days per week so there's plenty of scope for drinking. I've started to get a dull aching pain around my liver area and really worried that liver disease has set in. I don't want to bother the doctor. I never go there, and if I did, i'd probably break down. I don't want to die yet either as I'm only 40 and have a teenage child. Really needing help :(

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by scaredandashamed » 12 May 2013 08:35

Dear everyone,
I am new to this site - never used anything like this before. Just feel so wretched and desperate - I want to reach out and try anything and everything to get my self destructive binge drinking out if my life. I'm losing my partner of 10 years. I'm making myself ill but yet I continue to go out twice a month on a ruinously disgusting bender. Friday night I went ON MY OWN to the skankiest drinking establishments until 5am - boyfriend did not know where I was. I fell over loads and must have looked like such a tart. Lost my phone, narrowly escaped some dicey situations with pervy men out on the pull.
I'm ridiculous and feel so embarassed and angry with myself.
I spent the whole next day (yesterday) violently puking my guts up (drank 15 or more double white rums whilst out on the bender) and couldn't keep even water down. What kind of a person routinely does this to themselves and their loved ones?
Any help from anyone would be so appreciated right now. I'm hoping I can reciprocate sometime soon...

Kate150
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Kate150 » 12 May 2013 09:01

A very warm welcome to you S&A.

You have come to the right place to reach out for support. There are loads of people here with great advice and inspiring success stories on this journey. A good place to begin is the 7 day challenge but read over the various threads to see where you are most comfortable.

There are many here who share your feelings exactly S&A and understand what you are going through.

The 7 day thread is in general recovery section under sobriety challenges. If you read back the posts here Jarvis Jones at 8.01 yesterday did a post with direct links to the 7 day and other useful threads. Apologies but my IT skills are not up to figuring out how to put in a link.

All I can say S&A is that BE has helped me so much and I am sure it can do the same for you. Just keep close to the boards to keep your mind focused on the goal and to learn from and share with others.

Good luck and I look forward to seeing your progress here.

Take care.

Kate

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by scaredandashamed » 12 May 2013 09:18

thanks for a quick and warm welcome. I'm gonna recover from the bender but the anxiety is so awful. when I feel like this I just don't want to be alone - even for 15 minutes when boyfriend is in the shower. feels unbearable. It's a lot to ask someone who is so hurt let down and disappointed by me to continue to help me. he says there's nothing left to say - we've said it all before. lies promises broken promises. he'd never do anything like that to me. but I wish I could get him to just hold me and say that I'm worth it. I don't know how to repair the damage I've caused - it's been 10 years and I'm still the same. makes me want to disappear - get rid of the problem. this self pity doesn't help either - add selfish and pathetic to the list of attributes I have.

everything else in my life is great - I have an amazing career and should be so happy, but I'm sabotaging my life. I see it but I can't stop. I feel deranged - what a damn stupid thing to do! how can I not stop something that I know is terrible and awful? why am I so stupid? perhaps it's natural selection - I'm an idiot so will create my own demise and early death by destroying my poor body - the world will be a better place.

sorry for drama and darkness - I'm so cross with myself right now x

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Topcat
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Topcat » 12 May 2013 09:30

Hi S&A, it's understandable that you feel like s..t at the moment - drink does that and the more it makes us feel lousy, the more we drink and round and round in circles we go. The only way is to improve the situation is to stop the drinking. Hop onto the FIRST 7 DAYS CHALLENGE as the others have suggested. You'll be with others starting out on the sobriety road and won't feel so alone.

If your partner sees that you are doing something about your drinking, maybe things will improve between you. Good luck. TC ;)?
#5 on the 2020 Challenge
When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

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Adspad
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Adspad » 12 May 2013 17:32

Hi there.

I'm a 31 year-old male living in the south of England (originally from Yorkshire). I've been drinking almost daily for approximately 5 years now, and I desperately want things to change. It has destroyed a career, which I spent a long time at university to achieve, and is now beginning to destroy another career (as well as all the family and relationship issues that come with it). As I'm sure you can all relate to, I just want this to stop and be able to appreciate life, without the haunting thoughts of "I can only do it with alcohol".

I have quit drinking before and experienced mild withdrawal in the form of anxiety/sweats/insomnia etc., which passed after 3-5 days (excluding the insomnia!), so I plan to reduce my intake over a period of 5-7 days and then stop.

As a newcomer, I was wondering if there was anyone else who would perhaps like to do this with me. I thought it might be beneficial to share it with someone else (my flatmate and I at uni once did weight watchers together, and it was better doing it with someone else!).

I really want to do this, for my future and for the potential which I know I can fulfil, as everyone else here does.

All the best wishes and luck to everyone who has decided to take this step.
Adam :geek:

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Sandy
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Sandy » 12 May 2013 17:36

Hi Adam
Welcome to BE
have a look on the 7 day challenge-lots of likeminded folk about or the cutting down thread to see whats happening in there
Do you think you will need medical advice before starting if you had withdrawals last time?
Sandy

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Finley
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Finley » 12 May 2013 17:42

Hi Adam and welcome to BE ;)? This is a great place to gain support from others who will really know what you're going through because, of course, we all have alcohol problems. For people who want to quit completely or even just get a good run of sober days under their belts, there is the 'First 7 days' thread in the Sobriety Challenges. If you don't want to do that/don't feel ready yet, there is also a 'Cutting Down' thread - some people feel more comfy there before going for a long run of alcohol free days while others want to be able to continue drinking in moderation as a longer term aim.

It's pretty normal to experience some withdrawal symptoms - and poor sleep patterns are very common. You don't say how much you've been drinking though and for some people withdrawal can be dangerous, depending on their previous level of drinking, without medical support and help. Could you/do you need to speak to your GP?

Wishing you lots of luck wherever you post and look forward to hearing how you're getting on ;)?

Edit: Crossed posts Sandy ;)?
I want to be the best me I can be ...

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Adspad
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Adspad » 12 May 2013 21:51

Thanks for the reply guys. Very much appreciated.

I think my goal will (and should) be abstinence. During college and university I didn't drink, and although I had mental health problems (which I never sought help for, because I'd always been told to "pull yourself together"), I was still able to function, in a capacity.

At present, I probably drink about 25 units a day.

I desperately want to stop this!
Adam :geek:

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by jaffa21 » 12 May 2013 22:14

Scared and ashamed. You have done the first massive step!!!! Admitting you've a problem. That has taken me years. Go you. Keep asking questions and posting all over. These guys on here have really kept me going. I start my detox tomorrow. Stay strong. You can do this. Xxx
I am fighting this with all my might.

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