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New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
jaffa21
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by jaffa21 » 18 May 2013 12:26

Welcome Melissa. :-).
I am fighting this with all my might.

Garden62
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Garden62 » 19 May 2013 03:52

OverIT:

I so understand your feelings about all of your post. I was afraid to post for 7 months before I actually did. Now I have no problem writing since BE is such a good place and other people. I too worried about what to write after falling like you for a 100th time. And I really dislike starting over on day 1 and start going through the threads all the time. However for the past few months I stay on other threads and have found the The May (Changes to the next month monthly) Support and Chat thread helping mostly as well as reading other ones. Of course I once in a while post on the challenges. I find I am starting to go longer in being AF over the past 6 months. Don't be too hard on yourself and keep trying and posting. It takes me effort to post every day when things are going good and I feel after awhile I have nothing to say, so I quit and then that is when I start drinking. That has been my experience. Hope this helpful to you. Matthew

Katja

Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Katja » 19 May 2013 21:53

Hi OverIT,

Just wanted to say that it is great that you have found something that gives you inner peace, that is extremely valuable tool in many situations. Whatever works for you, keep it with you. We all have ups and downs and sometimes it can feel that nothing works, but then go back to what you have found useful before to get that inner peace, and you'll find it will help.

Also I wanted to say that it is not uncommon to feel imbaressed or frustrated having to start again and what I actually did too was I changed the threads where I communicated. So it was like a new journey instead of repeat journey.

We are so hard to ourselves sometimes and forget all the achievements and good work we have already done. Every sober day is like money in the bank and it does not disappear because we have a slip. Some people do the interdet diary where you can see your sober days, not a bad idea!

All the best <:)>

Katja

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Jake.
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Jake. » 19 May 2013 22:13

Please don't get put off by reading posts of people arguing. Communities have their differences and people don't always agree. These are a very small proportion of posts however. The site is generally supportive and caring

Welcome to Bright eye

Katja

Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Katja » 19 May 2013 22:20

OverIT,we have all our own ways of doing things and seems you have found what is the best way for you at the moment, which is good.

Yes I understand what you mean. There are lot's of emotions coming up when battling with alocohol problems etc. and being a sensitive person I didn't like the arguments that sometimes happened between other people. Sometimes when I was in very sensitive mood I did feel ignored too, in my mind. Looking back that was just because this is such a big "place" with many forums.

Having said all that, I find BE to be absolutely wonderful in helping people and it has certainly given me lots of support. Take the bits that suit you and make most of them.

Katja

High Life Street
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by High Life Street » 19 May 2013 22:28

Hi all,

I have been drinking hard for the last 10 years. I'm now 29 and enough is enough. I'm married for 3 years and have a 2 year old daughter, I have so much to loose, I had my last drink 11/05/13 and I want to aim for complete sobriety. Any advice welcomed.

I feel amazing so far. Itching like mad with the odd headache.

Thanks Will.

High Life Street
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by High Life Street » 19 May 2013 22:35

Thanks for the welcome and I make sure I have a look at those articles. This week had been hard, but its getting better. What is everyone's take on AA. I went on Monday to my first ever meeting.......

Katja

Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Katja » 19 May 2013 22:37

Welcome Will,

You have come to the right place, people are very supportive here. One way to go ahead is to join the challenges, starting with the 7 day challenge. Have a look around what kind of forums there are and if you find something that feels right for you. You can send posts wherever feels appropriate for you.

All the best
Katja

Lizzy13
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Lizzy13 » 20 May 2013 11:55

Hi.

I joined Bright Eye today because I want to get control of my drinking. I can probably sum up my problem in one word...wine. Evil stuff dressed up in fancy bottles. I don't drink every day; twice a week on a good week, three times a week on a bad. But boy, when I crave wine, I CRAVE it. I am so sick and tired of feeling powerless against it. My life would be significantly improved if I could just ban this one substance from it. I don't drink much of anything else. If say my husband and I are having a drink in the house, providing there's no wine there, I don't drink very much because cider and lager are too fizzy (hence the 'beauty' of wine; I can drink loads of the stuff without feeling bloated). But too much wine and I'm not a nice person. I get wobbly on my feet and can't remember stuff the next day. I have a 3 year old son. This cannot go on anymore. So I'm looking for support I guess. That's all I want to do is get wine out of my life. Alchohol is so intergrated into my life that I just can't imagine what it would be like without it. So anyway, here I am. I want to change.

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DannyD
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by DannyD » 20 May 2013 12:04

Morning Lizzy and welcome to BE. It's the cravings which are the pits. My craving at the moment is chocolate - and once the craving starts it's difficult to stop. I bribe myself with 'just one square', but once that silver paper has been ripped off the bar - I have no control.

You've a 3 year old, so you know about distraction techniques. If you can feel a craving approach, fill up with cups of tea, glasses of water - anything alcohol free, and eat to fill up. Keep busy doing something Completely different - take a walk, play with children.

Well done for your first post - that takes courage. Well done for recognising the problem.

Good luck.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Geordietrout
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Geordietrout » 20 May 2013 12:40

Hello folks.
Just starting out on an alcohol free life. I have tried to simply cut down but that isn't enough for me. I can manage 5 days of abstinence every week, with effort, but it comes down to the fact that I just don't like the person I become when I have a drink.
I don't even enjoy the drink that much. The taste or the effects.
Madness.
I'm 44 now and have spent far too much time and money on this drug.

I just wanted to express that.

Thanks and best wishes to everyone here.

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Geordietrout
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Geordietrout » 20 May 2013 16:18

Thanks Lima. I've just taken on the seven day challenge.
You are right the craving is difficult to resist, not as bad as stopping smoking as I seem to recall but difficult all the same.

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Finley
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Finley » 20 May 2013 16:31

Hi Lizzie and GT - just wanted to add to the welcomes to BE. Despite the fact that arguments do sometimes happen, they generally blow over quite quickly and are the exception rather than the rule. BE is overwhelmingly a supportive space to be - whether people are aiming for total abstinence, want to cut down or aren't quite sure what the long term aim is, but definitely understand their alcohol use is problematic for them. The first 7 days is a great place to post - especially in the first week (as it's name suggests) as there are many people there at a similar stage in terms of addressing their alcohol use. Even for people who would like ultimately to be able to drink in moderation a good AF (alcohol free) spell is a good idea to begin with. We see things much more clearly and gain a more realistic perspective on things when it's not through wine or beer (or spirit) goggles.

Best of luck to you both and look forward to seeing you on the various threads ;)?
I want to be the best me I can be ...

Lizzy13
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Lizzy13 » 20 May 2013 16:48

Thank you for a kind welcome. I guess I'm trying to figure out my relationship with drink because it puzzles me. If I get excited about something, or feel really happy, I want a glass of wine. It becomes almost like a nervous energy in me that I have to 'calm down' with wine. It's weird. Why can't I just enjoy a happy feeling? Why does excitement make me want to drink? Or I go the opposite way and drink to stave off boredom. So if I'm bored (or anticipate being bored), I will want a drink. If I am the opposite of bored, I will drink to calm myself down. The only times I am 'normal' are Mon -Wed (Thursdays on a good week) and I rarely drink on Sundays (unless it's a bank holiday). The other times I am either drinking of an evening, or thinking about drinking. I'm sick of being a slave to this stuff. I need some coping stratergies for when I'm either super excited or bored.

Wow, I've never been this honest about it before.

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Finley
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Finley » 20 May 2013 16:58

Hi Lizzie. I reckon a hell of a lot of us use alcohol to 'regulate' our feelings and emotions - calm us when excited or anxious, blunt the boredom and allow us to 'enjoy' rubbish TV etc. When we don't drink, we actually have to 'feel' everything, as well as having to cope with cravings which could have either physical or psychological origins - or both. It can really be tough to deal with. As a fellow BE-er who is a couple of years alcohol free reminded me recently, sober people have bad days too. They have sleepless nights, feel restless or bored, they have anxieties. It's called life :lol: I think it's just that us folks who turn to booze to manage things have got out of the habit of just experiencing things like 'normal' people do. I'm not lecturing at all here, Lizzie, so I hope it doesn't sound like it. Just jotting down a few thoughts that certainly apply to myself - but it took a wise BE mate to point them out to me.

Coping strategies - well, try changing your routine a bit - at times when you'd usually be triggered to drink, try and do something incompatible with drinking (eg go for a swim, to the cinema, visit the library - anywhere alcohol isn't available). Distract yourself with having a read on BE. Run a deep bath and have lots of lovely bubbles in it - very calming. I've found that physical exercise is really helpful too - because it helps get rid of tensions and makes me calmer (swimming, fast walking - there is even a running and walking thread on BE). Also, try to make sure you eat healthy, regular meals - as hunger can be a huge trigger too.

Best of luck ;)?
I want to be the best me I can be ...

High Life Street
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by High Life Street » 20 May 2013 20:05

Thanks Zoe and welcome to all the new people since I joined. The best advice given to me in the 8 days I've been dry, is "stay away from that first drink" and "one day at a time".

anonymous75
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by anonymous75 » 20 May 2013 20:29

Hi Everyone! I'm new here (as you've probably guessed!) as I have issues with alcohol. I've been reading your posts and sound similar to Lizzie in that I need to figure out why/what triggers me to drink. I drink most days, excessively, and its causing me to take time off work. I work for a sales driven organisation which makes it sociable so trying to avoid this is going to be tough. I drink to get to sleep at night mainly, to calm me down, reduce the noise in my head. My problem is that I can't have one glass, I feel the need to drink until I'm asleep/passed out. Hopefully there are things I can learn from others experiences


achristop

Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by achristop » 20 May 2013 21:28

Hi Anon: You're not alone by any means. We all have the same problems with alcohol. Welcome to Bright Eye and good luck with whatever path you choose ;)? Chris

anonymous75
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by anonymous75 » 20 May 2013 21:33

Thanks achristop and lorelei :D After spending this evening reading through some of the threads on here has made me realise that I don't feel as alone before I found this site. Good luck to you both too ;)?

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