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New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
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silvergirl
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by silvergirl » 20 Jan 2018 21:43

Hi Pretty Woman, welcome to bright eye. <:)>

Sorry to hear your story, I think the accepted wisdom is that someone won’t stop drinking until they want to and certainly I think that’s borne out in my experience. It sucks, but there ya go. Given that fact, I’d say focus on you. Congratulations on beating cancer last year, I know what you mean about the experience making one focus on what’s important in life. Whether you choose to leave him or choose to stay please think about concentrating less on his drinking and more about carving out the life you want to lead for yourself. Step back and consider what you want and then do that, regardless of what’s going on in your spare room. There are a few threads in the relationship section of the forum that might interest you, so read around. Although most people posting here are dealing with a drink problem themselves you are more than welcome to join in and post wherever you feel comfortable.

Regards,
Sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

Panther333
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Panther333 » 20 Jan 2018 22:31

[quote="Pretty woman"]Hi I'm Sue and I'm new to the group. It's my husband whom I'm concerned about . I've been married for 23 yrs and it's not a happy marriage . He drinks every night and has done for a long time. Used to drink 8 cans a night and after a visit to the doctor he cut that down to 4. Or so I believed. For a few yrs he has been sitting in the spare room watching sport and drinking . Just this last week he hasn't been coming to bed. I wake in the night about 4vor 5 times and find him asleep or sat there with a can in front of him I'm absolutely exhausted. We argue all the time about his drinking and it's always my fault for raising the subject. No matter how nicely I try to talk about it it's always the same. He doesn't bath or shower or shave regularly anymore and has no interest in the house at all. He's on antidepressants and still drinks . I'm thinking of leaving because we have debts and he doesn't care. Last yr I got Breast cancer and he still went every night to the spare room after tea and carried on doing the same things . I'm better now I'm happy to say , but learned life is short and my family want me to leave him and put my self first . I live with a man and I'm very lonely . I need to grow some , but I'm scared because I feel responsible for him. What can I do . We don't communicate anymore . What's the point . This selfish man is making me so angry and frustrated . Somebody help me decide .

Hi Their,

So sorry to hear about what's been going on.
Stay strong hun , you beat cancer so have more strength then I can Imagine.
I know it can be hard , have you guys tried councilling at all.
2018 is the year of changes and you have to look after yourself and self love is so important.

You will work out what's best for you <:)>
Life is like a box of chocolates.

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zelda
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by zelda » 21 Jan 2018 09:46

Hello Pretty woman.
your story is one many of us have lived but without the additional pressure of breast cancer. You have, it seems faced it, beat it, and are now the other side of it... and you did it alone.
As Silvergirl has said, no one will give up any addiction because someone else tells them to. His refusal to even speak about it is not a sign that he wants to stop.
I lived with an alcoholic for over ten years.. I forgave him a million times for a million things... and I will be paying the debts of our relationship for another 8 years, having put all my inheritance money into paying some of it.
I did leave, after discovering drunken infidelity... I forgave the first time, scared to face the upheaval of selling the house and knowing how much we would lose because of the market, but then i was told about other 'inappropriate' behavior by various other women...
Only you can decide if you leave or not, but I have to assure you, YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE for him. He is an adult, and your life IS YOURS.
If you can sort it out, maybe as Panther says with counseling, that would be great... if you still love him.
If not, then take baby steps and don't look too far ahead. Just deal with little chunks of 'the problem'... and slowly but surely you will get through it.
One life , one chance.
Sending you strength... Zelda x
Zelda: "Oh blimey, I could kill a glass of wine".....
Glass of Wine "Oh blimey , I could kill Zelda".....

Avityesboy
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Avityesboy » 22 Jan 2018 07:09

Hi All
New here just joined today. Day one of me giving up the booze totally. I have no choice because of the mess it’s caused of my life so far. It’s total abstinence and keep my loved ones of slip up and I would self destuct.
Obviously very determined but I guess everyone here is at the start...just have to do this.

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Lush4life
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Lush4life » 22 Jan 2018 07:31

Avityesboy wrote:Hi All
New here just joined today. Day one of me giving up the booze totally. I have no choice because of the mess it’s caused of my life so far. It’s total abstinence and keep my loved ones of slip up and I would self destuct.
Obviously very determined but I guess everyone here is at the start...just have to do this.
Welcome AB, this is a friendly, supportive forum have a good read around , many start with the 7 day challenge its a busy thread and good start in your quest for sobriety.
It goes without saying (even though just have :? )
That i don't know how much/ long you've been drinking , cold turkey not safe in some circumstances and there is a thread on tapering ;)?
Best wishes !
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
And rent is due Every day.

Panther333
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Panther333 » 22 Jan 2018 13:49

Avityesboy wrote:Hi All
New here just joined today. Day one of me giving up the booze totally. I have no choice because of the mess it’s caused of my life so far. It’s total abstinence and keep my loved ones of slip up and I would self destuct.
Obviously very determined but I guess everyone here is at the start...just have to do this.

Hi , and your in the right place I've not been on here lo g but definitely feel theirs loads of support.
I find meditation really helps have a look on you tube for guided meditation :\:
Life is like a box of chocolates.

gerardh
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by gerardh » 22 Jan 2018 13:54

hi all,
I'm 32 years of age from and for the past 14 years I have been drinking whiskey heavily.
to give you an example of my regular day would be like drinking half a bottle of a large bottle of whiskey and a full bottle when I'm stressed or on weekends.
and yes I have embarrassed myself countless times being extremely drunk in public.
today I thought I was celebrating 22 days of sobriety since I quit both smoking and drinking since new years eve, but when I thought about it I got extremely annoyed and I'm looking for a reason to drink again.
I had no withdrawal symptoms and I didn't even have a craving for 22 days but now its extremely hard not to think about it or have a drink.
I couldn't sleep all night and I'm shaking since early in the morning.
if any of you can give me a direction or an advice of some sort it would be deeply appreciated.

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George
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by George » 22 Jan 2018 14:19

Hi geraldh,

Welcome to Bright Eye and congratulations for making a really positive start to it. Have a look around and if you have anything to say then don't be shy ;)?

It might be a good idea for you to start on either the 100 day Kickstart @ https://www.brighteyecounselling.co.uk/ ... start=6700 - or The Next 2-4 Weeks @ https://www.brighteyecounselling.co.uk/ ... start=5440

Have a look at them (and all the rest) and jump in where you feel comfortable.

Good luck ;)?
“Now I’m sober and I realize, I didn’t drink to escape the world, I drank to escape myself”
― Phil Volatile, Crushed Black Velvet

DoneandDone
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by DoneandDone » 22 Jan 2018 14:48

Hi geraldh,

Pat yourself on the back. You were able to get to 22 days relatively unscathed. This is delayed withdrawal symptoms imho.
Do not whatever you do start drinking now to solve this. If you do have a swig, stop as quickly as you can. You had a very high unit habit. I did too when I quit. If you need some sobering information hike over to the PAWS/KINDLING thread here on BE. It’s under Physcial Health in the Board Index. Or Google those terms. It will cause all kinds of serious damage to your body and brain to start drinking again. This is not a scare tactic or a myth. If you read around BE you will find many of us who have lots of regrets about what we did to our bodies.

You are so young and it is nothing short of a miracle you found your way to BE. Take advantage of all the support here to try to stay AF. I would say with the amount you were drinking you have the biochemistry of someone prone to addiction. Many of us here have that also. That means that moderation or having ‘just one’ is not in our playbook. God love you. I wish I could give you a hug IRL. Try to pick up on the things you loved to do as a kid. Which was just the other day! You are on the right track.

The symptoms you have now are temporary. Tough them out. Good food, Lots of sleep. Lots and lots of sleep.

Sending you all the love I can send through cyberspace,
Done and Done
It will always and forever be One Day At A Time

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ChamomileTea
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by ChamomileTea » 22 Jan 2018 16:18

Hi gerard!

I'm also 32 and also around that amount of time sober, and hey, I'm also crawling out of my skin today for some reason.

So, first thing to know is that the potentially dangerous part of withdrawal is well behind you.

But that doesn't make it any easier, eh? As Done&Done mentioned, have you heard of PAWS? It stands for Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. There is a thread about it here https://www.brighteyecounselling.co.uk/ ... ?f=4&t=776 but I would recommend just looking at the first link. Sometimes it helps just to know what is going on.

It'd be lovely to have you join us in the 2-4 weeks challenge thread. In there we are alternating between bright and positive posts of sunny happiness, and "oh god it's awful just hand me a bloody drink".

Finally, if you do drink, please stick around. We're all here because we have drinking problems. It can help just to have a safe place to post and recover your dignity. 22 days is absolutely heroically AWESOME for a first attempt after drinking so much for so long, by the way. Well done. (::)

I hope to see you around.

Stary1
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Stary1 » 22 Jan 2018 18:58

Got to try and kick this habit once and for all !! \:)/
The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

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George
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by George » 22 Jan 2018 19:15

Hi Stary1,

Good to meet you and welcome to Bright Eye. Feel free to look around and when you have something to say, don't be shy. It might help to have a look at The First 7 Days. You may also find the 100 Day Kickstart beneficial too.

Good luck.
“Now I’m sober and I realize, I didn’t drink to escape the world, I drank to escape myself”
― Phil Volatile, Crushed Black Velvet

Truelife
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Truelife » 23 Jan 2018 07:32

Stary1 wrote:Got to try and kick this habit once and for all !! \:)/
Hi Stary1, I just joined the beginning of this month, it is a really good forum and you will find lots of help here. Post of different threads and keep us updated x

Tracey616
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Tracey616 » 23 Jan 2018 20:12

Jjjj of Old wrote:
Tracey616 wrote:I can’t find the 7 day challenge? Not sure if it’s just me being stupid lol! ()o
You can find it by clicking this link, Tracey :D

Alternately, when you look at BE's main page, you'll find the "sobriety challenges" listed underneath General Recovery in the board index:

Thanks...I did find it eventually :)
Board index.jpg
If you click on that, you can scroll until you find the First 7 Days challenge.

Hope this helps - and welcome to Bright Eye ;)?

Mark

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tj_okay
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by tj_okay » 23 Jan 2018 22:12

hey there,
I'm not new but not been on here for a while.. I think you can guess what I've been doing with my life. And yeah it has got worse, so very much worse that I finally hit my low (oh I've had a lot of lows but this was a doozey). It was traumatic and humiliating and sadly once I left the hospital I drank that night BUT that was it. This has to stop. and it has so far. Due to health issues and withdrawal stuff I've not really faced up to feeling the impact of rebuilding a life without alcohol until now 29 days in. I feel this is when my real journey is starting, the mental one and it's hitting me hard. It's like climbing out of a bunker and just looking round at the devastation that has been going on and really really wanting to go back to hiding, escaping. There isn't one area of my life that is untouched, there isn't one area where there isn't some degree of mess and problems. I'm alternating between numbness and shock, screaming WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE , and just really wanting a drink so I can forget it all for a bit. So that's where I'm at.
peace.
tj
Insert inspirational quote here....

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clanger
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by clanger » 23 Jan 2018 22:26

Hey tj <:)> , I dont have any words of wisdom to share, but just wanted to say hello and welcome back. I think most of us can relate to feelings of self recrimination, humiliation, regret and fear of the unknown. You've done great to stop for the last 29 days, and have come to a supportive place for help to continue your journey. Take care of yourself and get plenty of nourishing food down you <:)> .

gerard
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by gerard » 24 Jan 2018 19:16

Hi, I'm Gerard. I just wanted to give it a go. I've looked on here and found it certainly has the edge on conviviality. I hope I could be accepted into this female lair. I say that in a respecting way of course. But don't worry I'm sure if I'm on the sidelines I'll make my excuses and leave.
I do have a major drinking problem though. Don't we all?
Looking forward to joining in.
-

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Lush4life
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Lush4life » 24 Jan 2018 19:23

gerard wrote:Hi, I'm Gerard. I just wanted to give it a go. I've looked on here and found it certainly has the edge on conviviality. I hope I could be accepted into this female lair. I say that in a respecting way of course. But don't worry I'm sure if I'm on the sidelines I'll make my excuses and leave.
I do have a major drinking problem though. Don't we all?
Looking forward to joining in.
-
Welcome Gerard , glad you've joined plenty of advice and support here ;)?
Many start with 7 day challenge its busy and as you say we're all in same boat at the start .
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
And rent is due Every day.

Truelife
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Truelife » 24 Jan 2018 19:28

gerard wrote:Hi, I'm Gerard. I just wanted to give it a go. I've looked on here and found it certainly has the edge on conviviality. I hope I could be accepted into this female lair. I say that in a respecting way of course. But don't worry I'm sure if I'm on the sidelines I'll make my excuses and leave.
I do have a major drinking problem though. Don't we all?
Looking forward to joining in.
-
Hi Gerard,

I am new here too, I joined a couple of weeks ago and have found it really helpful. And I am sure that you will be given a warm welcome.

gerard
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by gerard » 24 Jan 2018 19:32

Thank you Lush4life and Truelife. I'll try and join in as best I can. I'm all over the place at the moment I have to say. I'm still a bit topsy turvey at the moment but tomorrow I'm hoping I can start afresh.

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