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New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 16 Feb 2019 18:57

Loulou66 wrote:
16 Feb 2019 16:56
(::) thanks Ed for your reply. Good to here fron you and hope you're doing ok. I made it last night. The first AF Friday in years. Woke up refreshed and had a fabulous day. I am so glad i joined this group. Thanks again and i will stick around!
Loulou
Yay you \:)/ \:)/ \:)/
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Loulou66
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Loulou66 » 16 Feb 2019 20:37

\:)/ \:)/ \:)/ so far so good

Rue
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Rue » 17 Feb 2019 11:24

Hi. I joined last week, I relapsed within 3 days. I drank so much this weekend, spent all of yesterday on my own drinking wine - 2 bottles, I can’t remember going to bed - I really thought it was a good thing drinking. Of course I regret it now. I’m not in a great place at all. I really want to stop. :( RW

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martha
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by martha » 17 Feb 2019 12:05

Rue wrote:
17 Feb 2019 11:24
Hi. I joined last week, I relapsed within 3 days. I drank so much this weekend, spent all of yesterday on my own drinking wine - 2 bottles, I can’t remember going to bed - I really thought it was a good thing drinking. Of course I regret it now. I’m not in a great place at all. I really want to stop. :( RW
Hi Rue, I'm sorry, that sounds really difficult for you. I don't think any of us here stopped drinking on the first attempt. For most people there are blips along the way. Part of my problem has been drinking home alone at weekends so I really have to make an effort to plan ahead and to be able to predict when I'm likely to be at risk of drinking. If you really want to stop, there are things you could do. Suggestions:
Keep posting on BE regularly, maybe join the 7 day challenge
Increase your knowledge about addiction, alcohol, stopping etc. There are links on BE and there are plenty of books on Amazon. I really like Catherine Grey and others like Allen Carr. See what might appeal to you.
Consider getting outside support. Alcoholics Anonymous or Smart Recovery or your GP.
Whay about family or friends support?
Nothing changes if nothing changes.

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 17 Feb 2019 12:30

Rue wrote:
17 Feb 2019 11:24
Hi. I joined last week, I relapsed within 3 days. I drank so much this weekend, spent all of yesterday on my own drinking wine - 2 bottles, I can’t remember going to bed - I really thought it was a good thing drinking. Of course I regret it now. I’m not in a great place at all. I really want to stop. :( RW

Hello Rue. I've been there soooo often! <:)> As Martha says, stopping drinking is rarely straightfoward, in part because mostly we have no idea just how addicted we are until we try to stop. You're doing absolutely the right thing by getting back on here - there's a saying that goes something like "you only fail when you stop trying". What's important is the lessons you learn through thought and experience. You may be learning that you can't moderate - did you set out to drink that much, or did it slip out of control? You may be learning that alcohol doesn't deliver the relief it promises - did you hope to feel better through drinking, but end up feeling worse? I've nothing much to add to Martha's advice, other than to perhaps get the Easyquit app. If you'd like to speak to someone knowledgeable but in confidence, you could try the Drinkaware service (assuming you're in the UK), they have a telephone helpline and also an online chat service https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/advice/how ... ompletely/
Meanwhile keep posting!
Last edited by SoberBoots on 17 Feb 2019 16:21, edited 1 time in total.
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Rue
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Rue » 17 Feb 2019 14:00

Thank you both.

I have been to the GP several times, explained I drink too much and can’t stop. They don’t seem interested in the slightest.

Family not much help - they aren’t the supportive kind. I’ve no friends I can confide, as they work with me- it could affect my work. I have recently come out of a RTR and seemed to have lost connection with my old friends.

I will have a look at those websites you mention. Just feels like a losing battle and I’m exhausted.

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Jjjj of Old » 17 Feb 2019 14:17

A quick welcome from me too, Rue!

Martha and SB have given you great advice. Do check out the websites/organisations they have suggested, and do stick with us on this forum - we're a friendly and supportive bunch, and it's helped me enormously over the years to be part of a forum where people really do understand what we're going through, and can offer advice.

Like you, I was once a heavy wine drinker, and I did begin to get into trouble at work for it. I kind of swam along for a few more years before finding Bright Eye (by which time I was drinking a lot of beer - a failed attempt to get off the wine). I wish I'd acted sooner, so well done for deciding to do something about your drink problem. Take heart in that. As SB says, it's not always easy to deal with at first, but it can certainly be done!

Best wishes, and I'll forward to seeing you around the forum ;)?
"Create in me a clean heart, O God; And renew a right spirit within me."
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Loulou66
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Loulou66 » 17 Feb 2019 14:42

Hi Rue

Dont give up xxxx you can do this and i really believe you will get there eventually. I have just got through my first full weekend with no booze. I never thought it was possible. It wasnt that hard and that surprised me. But i have never drank during the week so am used to some days without. Still difficult for me to switch off from tho.

Before the weekend i spent all week recovering from the previous weekend. Feeling very down and depressed I forced myself to read useful stuff about alcohol all week and kind of mentally prepared myself in advance. As recommended Catherine Grey's book is great. ...and anything else you can identify with... and absorb. It may help. It kind of grounded me and kept my head occupied apart from making a lot of sense.

I feel your pain at the moment... keep going and keep posting Rue xx

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Spats » 17 Feb 2019 22:30

Hi Rue :\: so glad you’ve found BE, you’ll get so much help and advice on here as you’ve already found. There’s often an alcohol and drug addiction service in most areas where you can self refer, in my area it’s 1 recovery but there’s also ADSIS. Another thought is to keep a journal and note your moods, feelings etc. I’ve been on here for about 18 months and although I’m not alcohol free I’m a whole lot more sober than I was. I was drinking 1 and sometimes 2 bottles of wine a night most nights of the week. Now it’s 2 bottles every 2 weeks but I know I can beat this with the help and support on here.

Keep posting on any of the threads and never give up giving up ;)?

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by TrueState » 17 Feb 2019 23:16

Hello...I've written a couple of posts but it seems I haven't done things right as they seem to have disappeared.
If this post is successful then I will do a proper introduction.

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Ruby&Tilly
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 17 Feb 2019 23:29

Hi True and welcome to BE :\: . I've had posts gobbled up by the ether too, not sure how it happens. :evil:

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

TrueState
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by TrueState » 17 Feb 2019 23:52

Thank you for your reply Ruby.
To summarise my previous posts I have used alcohol from my teens as a way to feel better and it took a long time to realise that it was alcohol that was making me feel more depressed, more anxious etc. I have read posts on here which have been heart breaking, interesting, inspirational and at times really funny. I have done some periods of not drinking recently 3 months leading up to Christmas and then dry Jan. What I do not like sometimes about counting days is that I can't really give myself credit for the time that I do clock up I just criticise myself for the time that I don't. I am hoping that by posting regularly whether on a challenge thread or a more general thread will give me the space to be honest with myself and not see things in just black and white terms and also that my experiences and thoughts maybe of some use to other people.

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 18 Feb 2019 00:17

TrueState wrote:
17 Feb 2019 23:52
Thank you for your reply Ruby.
To summarise my previous posts I have used alcohol from my teens as a way to feel better and it took a long time to realise that it was alcohol that was making me feel more depressed, more anxious etc. I have read posts on here which have been heart breaking, interesting, inspirational and at times really funny. I have done some periods of not drinking recently 3 months leading up to Christmas and then dry Jan. What I do not like sometimes about counting days is that I can't really give myself credit for the time that I do clock up I just criticise myself for the time that I don't. I am hoping that by posting regularly whether on a challenge thread or a more general thread will give me the space to be honest with myself and not see things in just black and white terms and also that my experiences and thoughts maybe of some use to other people.
Well done on the 3 months (and dry Jan). \:)/ Feel free to post wherever you feel comfortable. Are your long term aims total abstinence or cutting down/moderation?

I post on the personal goals thread as I'm experimenting with moderation, there's also 'Mostly Sober' and 'Cutting down' threads.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 18 Feb 2019 08:18

TrueState wrote:
17 Feb 2019 23:52
Thank you for your reply Ruby.
To summarise my previous posts I have used alcohol from my teens as a way to feel better and it took a long time to realise that it was alcohol that was making me feel more depressed, more anxious etc. I have read posts on here which have been heart breaking, interesting, inspirational and at times really funny. I have done some periods of not drinking recently 3 months leading up to Christmas and then dry Jan. What I do not like sometimes about counting days is that I can't really give myself credit for the time that I do clock up I just criticise myself for the time that I don't. I am hoping that by posting regularly whether on a challenge thread or a more general thread will give me the space to be honest with myself and not see things in just black and white terms and also that my experiences and thoughts maybe of some use to other people.
Welcome TrueState :\: I think you're doing absolutely the right thing. Even now (and I've been sober a while) I'm still amazed at how much better my mental health is without booze, and it's still continuing to improve. I did know about getting maudlin drunk, but I'd no idea how corrosive the stuff is in the longer term. It sounds like you're doing really really well. You're obviously familiar with this site, but have you done any other reading? I like Allen Carr's the Easy Way and Catherine Grey the Unexpected Joy of Being Sober - generally it's suited me to take a very positive approach to sobriety and these books reflect that.
Last edited by SoberBoots on 18 Feb 2019 22:22, edited 1 time in total.
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TrueState
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by TrueState » 18 Feb 2019 22:11

Thanks for the suggestions I've never thought of looking at what books are out there that might strike a chord with me despite liking to read.

I have not decided yet about total abstinence Ruby. I think that to settle on that you have to have acceptance and I'm not there yet I kinda bulk at the thought of never can't quite get past the never say never mantra. So for now I shall just see how I do. I do not like counting days because I forget to give myself credit for the time that I am successful. However, It does help to focus the mind. When I planned to do three months before Christmas and then dry Jan I also said to myself that I would then do Lent. The problem with this mentality is the times inbetween. They start off quite civilized with the odd drink out with a meal etc but very soon (the next day!) turn into drinking a lot alone. So for now Lent has come early and I will see how I do. I'm reading around the different threads and hopefully, will come to a natural stop on one or two where I feel comfortable to post.

Thanks for your welcome Ruby and Soberboots and I look forward to getting to know you and other people on here soon.

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by heatherq40 » 21 Feb 2019 01:31

Hello my name is Heather and I am new here, i have just recently joined AA in Belfast after finally admitting i have a horrible problem with alcohol, I am just at the beginning of this journey, so would really appreciate lots of tips and advice, I am determined to stay away from this demon as I dont want to live like this anymore, thanks :\:

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 21 Feb 2019 01:46

Hi heather and welcome to bright eye. :\: feel free to read around and post wherever you feel comfortable. ;)?

Most people start on the 7 day challenge. Good luck anyway.

I would write a longer post but it's almost 2am and I need my beauty sleep. :D

Ruby XX
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Loulou66 » 21 Feb 2019 07:58

:\: y hi Heather. I am a newby too... welcome. I have had great support so far on here and everyone has been there and is so understanding.

I am a weekend binge drinker. Last week was my first dry weekend. I feel positive so far.

Keep posting and good luck with your progress. Big big well done for taking the initial steps. Silver lining ahead ! Xxx
Lou

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 21 Feb 2019 09:41

heatherq40 wrote:
21 Feb 2019 01:31
Hello my name is Heather and I am new here, i have just recently joined AA in Belfast after finally admitting i have a horrible problem with alcohol, I am just at the beginning of this journey, so would really appreciate lots of tips and advice, I am determined to stay away from this demon as I dont want to live like this anymore, thanks :\:
Welcome Heather :\:

Facing up to the problem is the vital first step and it's such a hard one, so huge (::) for that.

Top tips from me:
-join a challenge, or more than one, on here. Posting everyday will help keep you focused and you'll get lots of support
-read around on the fourum, including the Road to Abstinence thread and back in time on this thread
-get and read the Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Grey, and an Easy Way self help book (Allen Carr or Jason Vale). Something about the Allen Carr, once I'd worked my through it twice, shifted my mindset profoundly and I haven't seriously wanted a drink since
-if you haven't already been prescribed them, get decent quality vitamin supplements. B1, Thiamine is absolutely vital for your brain at this time, and B12 and magnesium will really help your recovery (all heavy drinkers are malnourished, so you need to supplement even if you eat well)
- make getting sober your absolute priority, which means investing time and energy into it, and being kind to yourself about other things
-accept that withdrawal takes a while. You will start to feel better in some ways very quickly, but life doesn't suddenly transform. Like most drinkers I expected immediate results, but some things, like my sleep and my digestion took months to settle down properly. The body's great at repairing itself given a chance, but heavy prolonged alcohol abuse gives it a serious kicking
-keep a journal
-make a note of the postives you notice as you go along so you don't miss them
-be positive about your new freedom, and explore and enjoy all the many things you couldn't do when you drank (I still get a buzz out of driving in the evening!)

Look forward to seeing you around on the forum
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Onestepatatime » 23 Feb 2019 05:41

Hi I'm Cheryl and I'm new here... I would consider myself alcohol dependent but I have had enough. On the odd night I don't drink I wake up feeling so great that I wish i could bottle that feeling but I soon forget and the wine takes hold again. My anxiety is at a high level and I know it's drink related. I don't sleep much as anxiety wakes me up and I just lay there petrified that I have done some real damage to myself through drinking :| I am realistic and know I won't be able to stop completely but I'd like to be in control.. Any help or guidance would be gratefully received xx

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