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New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
Seahorse
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Seahorse » 26 Jul 2016 16:04

Hi bhoojimad. I can't answer your question about rehab costs because I'm in UK. However when I was in your position, the first thing I did was go to my doctor to help find out all my options. I wish you all the very best. Keep posting

Iroquois
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Iroquois » 26 Jul 2016 20:17

Hi BHoo,

A trip to your doctor would be a good start, as Seahorse said, my experience is that health care providers in the US have packets of information on getting help with addiction. Most rehabs are pretty pricey, but you can find some that will accept Health Insurance, Medicare or Medicaid. These usually have 5 day or 7 day stays with follow up as Intensive Care Outpatient. They help you get through the initial withdrawal with medication, and have classes and group therapy to help you get a grip on overcoming addiction and resurrecting your life. Believe me, rehabs do have a lasting effect if you really want to get well.

Whatever you decide to do, stay here on BE and take advantage of the self help articles and posts of people in recovery at various stages! I did two rehabs, the last one was the best, it lasted 7 days, and then I got on BE and stayed on every day. This is invaluable for you to post and share your feelings and get the support of others here.

I wish you the best, it is a hard road at first, my friend, but well worth it after you get sober and well!

I am from Colorado, so if you have more questions, ask away! We care!

Deanna
There isn't enough alcohol in the world to make you happier, calmer, prettier, more clever or less angry.
Only sobriety will help you achieve these attributes.

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thistimeitsforreal
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by thistimeitsforreal » 27 Jul 2016 11:57

Hi, I’m definitely not new here, but I’ve come back in sheer desperation to give this another go. I’m so fed up of coasting through life in a literal fog and not really feeling anything real. I feel like I’ve been on a roundabout with this for 9 years now. Which is a bit crazy as I’m only 26. Alcohol has removed so many things from me I can’t even list them – money, health, relationships (of every sort.) But specifically and most incredibly damagingly – my self esteem. I feel like absolute nothing 99% of the time. I feel guilty for feeling any kind of positive feeling, that I don’t deserve it, I neglect myself and am constantly feeling low and useless. I go through stages of sobriety and ‘mania’ as I call it (drinking.) When I’m sober I’m bored, empty, anxious. When I’m drinking I think it makes me more interesting, more likeable, removes my self-hate for a little while and lets me forget the ridiculous things I’ve done and what I’ve lost by pouring poison down my throat. I have missed out on so much, and ruined so much. It has shaped me into a strange distorted shape that I don’t even recognise as a human.
I so desperately want to be sober. I can’t do this on my own, I’ve tried and failed 73829138 times. My latest episode led to me wanting to drink gin at 9am. Seriously, when am I going to hit rock bottom? My bottom is just getting lower and lower. I won’t even list the stuff I’ve done but it beggars belief why people even still talk to me. I called Samaritans on Monday and went to an AA meeting (I’ve been before) – I don’t feel like I deserve it, but I just want to get through today. Thanks for listening.

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Finley
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Finley » 27 Jul 2016 12:23

Hi Thistime and well done for posting here :) When we're used to regular (for many of us, daily) drinking it can be so difficult to imagine life without booze. Are you really more interesting and a better person to be around/socialise with when you're drinking? I think for a lot of us, social anxiety/lack of confidence can be a major trigger for hitting the bottle.

Speaking for myself, it's certainly true that I couldn't imagine meeting friends, going out for a meal, doing any sort of activity that involved other people without drinking - for a very long time.

When you do stop, you may well find yourself withdrawing from social occasions for a while. That's OK. Longer term you need to replace the 'drinking dates' with other things - think of stuff that's not compatible with boozing (for me that was swimming and archery but folks here do all kinds of things).

When you've been off the booze for a while you'll probably find that you have more self-confidence than you did while drinking - and definitely more self-esteem.

I think it's important to get some good alcohol free (AF) time under your belt because it's only then you will be able to gain a clearer perspective on stuff - so I would definitely recommend you have a look at the First Seven Days thread as a starting point.....but there are also other threads which are not necessarily aimed at total abstinence (eg 'Mostly Sober', 'Cutting Down', 'Personal Goals').

Good luck x
I want to be the best me I can be ...

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Mark.
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Mark. » 27 Jul 2016 12:25

Welcome back, Thistimeitsforreal! \:)/

You've been here, so you'll know your way around the forum. Do have a good look around, though, and reacquaint yourself with the place :)

My advice would be to get posting on a few threads - maybe start with one of the sobriety challenges? The more involved you are, the better Bright Eye works, I think.

I'll look forward to seeing you around. For now, though, I'll just wish you the very best - the 73829139th try is going to work! This time make sure it really is for real ;)? <:)>

Crossing with Finley - great advice! :)
"Addiction doesn’t go away when we stop drinking." ~ Tai

Wil1
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Wil1 » 28 Jul 2016 09:32

Hi, my name is Will and I am trying to quit alcohol again. I drink 2 bottles of wine per night about 4 times a week on average. I know this is too much... and it is affecting me in negative ways. I will be starting a new job soon, so I really can't afford to feel groggy in the mornings, I have to be alert. The only thing I can do is give up alcohol for good, which I am dreading. Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you. PS. I will join the 7 day challenge today.

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pickles
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by pickles » 28 Jul 2016 09:55

Hello Will, and welcome to Bright Eye. Joining the 7 day thread is a great start and you will find support there and some links too. I would also drink ,when I was alone, 2 bottles in one go , I could easily manage 1 bottle a night but with spirits to start just for the edge, or to get me through the evening. It was day time when it became a real worry.

There is a Cutting down thread , as stopping straight away can be dangerous. There is also this:

Practical advice.... Post around where and when you want and know that you are not alone.

Hope to 'see' you posting soon ;)?
' Normal ' is just a setting on the washing machine .

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Fair winds
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Fair winds » 29 Jul 2016 06:01

Hello,
Thistimeis, have you ever thought that the people you embrace while drinking are simply a reflection of yourself? Its ok, you're okay, quite brilliant as a matter of fact because unlike others, you recognise something amiss. Maybe they do too. Maybe not. But right now it is all about you, and I am your reflection.

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Eewok
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Eewok » 29 Jul 2016 09:06

Hi I'm not exactly new as I have been on before over the past few years. The problem is it's not just any alcohol I need, it's wine. I can have lager, cider, spirits etc in the house and I'm not interested but I need to have wine. I'm a single mum so once my son's asleep I can't leave the house. If I plan a "wine-free" night I'm in constant turmoil all day abut being 'trapped' in the evening with no wine! I get very anxious so I always give in and get some wine in which I then end up drinking. If I do manage to get to the evening without buying wine then I'm pacing the floor, climbing the walls and have actually gone out to get wine leaving my son in bed :( This is one of the reasons why I now give in as I daren't do that again!
Does anyone else struggle like this?
What can I do?
I'm currently drinking between 1.5 & 2 bottles every night.
I enjoy exercising but I can't get past dinner without starting on the wine so I never use my evenings as I really wish I could. I know if I spent my evenings exercising and wine-free I'd feel amazing in the morning but I just can't get there!
Thank you for reading, hope someone can help xx
Don't give up giving up

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pickles
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by pickles » 29 Jul 2016 09:17

Hello Eewok, welcome back to BE but sorry things are difficult. It can't be easy being on your own in the evenings after your son is asleep . when my OH was away a lot ,I felt lonely and used wine as a support but it was the next day that was worse ,because of taking daughter to school and trying to look normal but thinking of my next drink .

Being here has helped me ,not always but slowly because of reading around and getting to know a few members , reading on members journeys . Some members keep a diary , a drink diary too .
There is the Mostly Sober thread on General Recovery which is busy ,or Regrouping,also on General Recovery. Maybe you would like to post on those for advice about cutting down or trying out a wine free evening . Ideas can be given to help you.
Keep posting, it does help to get things off your mind, especially in the early days of cutting down <:)>

Take care .
' Normal ' is just a setting on the washing machine .

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Topcat
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Topcat » 29 Jul 2016 09:21

Eewok wrote:. If I plan a "wine-free" night I'm in constant turmoil all day abut being 'trapped' in the evening with no wine! I get very anxious so I always give in and get some wine in which I then end up drinking. If I do manage to get to the evening without buying wine then I'm pacing the floor, climbing the walls and have actually gone out to get wine leaving my son in bed :( This is one of the reasons why I now give in as I daren't do that again!
I fully understand that "must get the wine in or else" situation Eewok. I was exactly the same in that I HAD to get a supply in (no children but the shop closed at 7pm) and, if I didn't, it was absolute hell. I often used to end up buying it when I didn't even really need it :roll: I got it "just in case" and, of course, I then went on to drink it :oops:

My way of dealing with it might sound very drastic, but it was to get some in. Not enough to get drunk on (a couple of those small 2 glass bottles), but enough to satisfy a craving if it got too much to bear. It never did. I found that, because I had the drink in the house, the craving didn't go away exactly, but it eased sufficiently for me to make a rational decision not to drink at that time. I told myself I could drink it if I wished (true), but I never needed to. If I didn't have any in the house, it automatically became forbidden fruit and we all know how hard that is to resist.

I'm not saying that it will work for you EW, but it did for me and anything is worth a try in my reckoning. Also finding something to occupy hands/mind is a good thing in the evenings. Going to bed early was something I frequently did in the early weeks of sobriety. Crosswords, reading, knitting and suchlike are useful things to occupy yourself with. Whatever it takes really and good luck ;)? <:)>

EDIT: crossed with Pickles ;)?
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DannyD
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by DannyD » 29 Jul 2016 09:36

What about a couple of bottles of alcohol free drink? Or eating a huge meal followed by a cup of coffee? Plan it for about 7 ish, then you might feel too full for wine?
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Eewok
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Eewok » 29 Jul 2016 09:41

Thank You Pickles and Top Cat <:)>

I will psych myself up for trying that Top Cat, thanks for the idea, anything is worth a go definitely xx
Don't give up giving up

tinybuddha
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by tinybuddha » 29 Jul 2016 13:57

Hi
My name is Deb, I am 47 years old and live near Manchester, U.K. I am here because, yet again, I have had to take the day off work due my stupid binge drinking last night. I don't drink every night but when I do, I go for it big style. I have also noticed that as I have got older the level of alcohol to cause a hangover is getting less and less. I came to this site searching for 'why can't I control the amount I drink once I start'. I am feeling anxious, guilty and sad today because I have a lot of work to catch up on and simply cannot function which means I will have to work on the weekend. I have tried many times to cut alcohol out of my life and I managed two weeks last year but I have now slipped back into binge drinking 2-3 times per week and it's seriously affecting my functioning at work and in everyday life…..

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pickles
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by pickles » 29 Jul 2016 15:56

Hello Deb, welcome to Bright Eye . It's probably quiet here at the moment because of people just not being online ,out and about hopefully enjoying the weather, sales , school holidays .

I hope you are resting now and over the weekend too ,that you will have a quiet one . The why can't we control the drinking ,in my view, is mostly because it's an addiction and we can't always control it . I used to binge ,I tried to stop after half a bottle of white wine , but would look at it thinking ' oh well' and just have the rest . Spirits as well ,not the whole bottle but when I had had enough of it I would hide the rest ,and think that I had enough left for the next day . Awful !

There may be quite a few members from Manchester , but keep here and keep posting . Try to keep hydrated as much as possible and eat little and often. You will see a post from Topcat saying about keeping busy ,just a couple of posts up from your post.

Do stick around and when feeling down, do post for support . 7 day thread on sobriety challenges is a place where some members start . But just look around and find what suits you . Take care and hope to see you posting soon ;)?
' Normal ' is just a setting on the washing machine .

Anya
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Anya » 29 Jul 2016 19:24

Hello everyone
So glad to have found this site. I'm on day 8 of my 30 day challenge. I live in US, am an empty nester of sorts, have two dogs and one cat to keep me company and have been divorced for many years. I can attribute my drinking issues to loneliness, anxiety, boredom, frustration, depression, etc. I drink mostly at home, alone, which I know is a big mistake. I have discovered through trial and error that I can drink in moderation in a social setting or not drink at all, but when drinking alone I quickly lose track of how many drinks I consume. Next day I am full of shame and self loathing which just creates the urge for a drink to lift my spirits, and I'm sure everyone is familiar with that vicious cycle. I know many of my triggers and have developed strategies which have worked in the past. Quit for 7 years once, then 1 year, then several periods of 3 and 4 months. Looking forward to communicating with others and hearing your stories and sharing our challenges.

Iroquois
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Iroquois » 29 Jul 2016 19:56

Hi Deb and Anya, :\:

Your story will resonate with all of us! We all seem to go through a period where we know we are in trouble with alcohol, but just can't quite admit it to ourselves or we make up lies to tell ourselves for justification of our heavy drinking and bingeing.

Then, we come to a day of reckoning, and know that we must do something, quit, moderate, adjust, etc. Most of us try moderation and fail because addiction is just such a slippery devil! :evil: It is so hard to break our accustomed habits, unless we start forming new habits.

Perhaps abstaining for another period of time, a good long stint of being AF, would help you to decide on your new life plan concerning alcohol. How about the 7 Day Challenge as a start and move through the Challenges or try the 100 Day AF plan?

Lots of things to read and learn on here, self help and the posts of others in various stages of going alcohol free. Read around and post as much as you like. The more you share about your problems and decisions, the better your focus will become. Take care of yourselves with plenty of fluids and good food right now!

Best wishes, Deanna
There isn't enough alcohol in the world to make you happier, calmer, prettier, more clever or less angry.
Only sobriety will help you achieve these attributes.

fae80
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by fae80 » 30 Jul 2016 01:32

Hi, im here because my husband has a problem with alcohol, im not sure if he is an alcoholic, but its certainly causing a problem! Im hoping to get some advice on what steps to take next bacause i am at my wits end with it now. Looking forward to chatting with you all soon.

leslans

Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by leslans » 30 Jul 2016 05:19

Good morning. I am hopping around this morning and thought I would call in an see how you are doing in here. Welcome Deb, Anya and anyone else relatively new. To be blighted by this is a common problem in our society, wine seemingly playing a very large part in this, particularly in us ladies. I hope you stick around.......just like me it takes a brave person to say "hey you know I'm really struggling with this"

Like many I have tried, and failed to get on top of this. Tried controlled drinking, using mixers, alternating with water, abstaining a few days a week in a huge effort to convince myself I'm ok really. Only for another embarrassing and out of control situation to present itself leaving me more damaged than before and hurting so much. The desire to be able to just drink relatively "normally" is overwhelming, almost as bad as the wine itself in an effort to fit in with society. Sadly despite all my best efforts it all comes back to the same thing I am addicted to this stuff, I may not be labelled an "alcoholic" my outside persona would not fit that.......but sadly I am addicted.

The majority of people in my world wouldn't really know the pain I feel over this, the feeling of not being "normal" I am particularly good at hiding it. Inside however now at the ripe old age of 56 after years of throwing this stuff down my neck I am at a very serious crossroads. You see, I am fun, I am part of a respectable bunch of people, I have a very lovely home and am lucky enough to take lovely holidays and generally the last person you would expect to be falling apart with this apparent illness. The simple truth however is that my life underneath all the layers of normality is falling apart and I am beginning to lose my mind. Only a few days ago I fell asleep and awoke not knowing where I was, lying in my own urine as my comotose state hadn't told my brain I needed the bathroom!!!! How low do I need to sink.

So to all you new people out there, including myself.......in my mind to carry on drinking was an easier option in many ways because I wouldn't have to deal with "giving up" but this has to be addressed now as its killing me physically, emotionally and mentally. I want what so many sober people have. The peace of mind and knowledge that those horrendous situations are no longer in my life. My god it is so difficult to face up to but I am going to be brave and strong and I hope you join me. Millions of people out there are desperate to do this because it's hurting them and very probably a lot of people around them. Slowly over time we are not a minority anymore in our quest, because the reality is that alcohol in any form can become so very quickly addictive. One of the main problems is the social acceptability of this drug of our choice. From housewives sipping Chablis in the comfort of their own homes to the joviality of the guy down the pub sinking pints after work. The UK, and I can only speak for us has a major major problem. For those of us needing to address this, we have a label "he/she has a drink problem". This is part of what we run away from because we don't want that label. The reality is 1000's have a "drink" problem, yet the drug is glamourised.

So I need to be brave.......and strong to say "I don't drink" because if I don't I am not sure where my life will go from here. Oh and by the way I am not a daily drinker, a morning drinker but on many occasions the "off button" does not kick in and my life spirals out of control and leaves me in a very lonely place. This website can help me and you get our lives back. Please help me help you to get a life back that we want to live <:)>

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Trojan
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Trojan » 30 Jul 2016 09:26

Hello fae80 and welcome to the forum :)

There is a section on the forum dealing with relationships.

http://www.brighteyecounselling.co.uk/a ... um.php?f=5

Feel free to join in wherever feels comfortable, and others will reply based on their own experience.
Au milieu de l'hiver, j'apprenais enfin qu'il y avait en moi un été invincible.
#99 on the 2020 Challenge

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