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New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
steve_w
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by steve_w » 18 Oct 2019 22:03

Hi Danny,

Thanks for the reply, I’ve gone to bed now, I’ll go and check out that thread.

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DannyD
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by DannyD » 19 Oct 2019 10:14

Morning Steve. Check out all the threads
be selfish in your sobriety.

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 19 Oct 2019 10:27

Oh I dunno just looking for someone to talk to, I feel in a bad place at the mo and after 20 years all of our friends are joint friends.
Thanks for listening, good luck all,
Aww Steve, my heart goes out to you. You're always welcome here, you're with people who totally get it!
May I recommend you a book? Look for Allen Carr (not the comedian!) any of the Easy Way books. They really helped me shift my mindset and finally understand and accept what I was dealing with.
Do have a good read around the forum - I suggest getting a notebook and making notes of things that strike you, and maybe trun it into a journal. If you read back on this thread there's tons of tips and ideas, and I always find great reading on the Road to Abstinence. There are challenge threads of varying length which can be a supportive place to be in the early days.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

steve_w
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by steve_w » 19 Oct 2019 11:44

morning both,

Thanks for the replies, it's helping more than you can imagine just knowing that someone is bothering to read what I'm crying over trying.

Well, day three & here I am buying birthday presents for a wife who says she doesn't love me anymore, I'm starting to wonder if I'm on the right forum, I'm getting more upset about my relationship than the alcohol thing, they just seem to be intertwined at the moment.

I'm hoping that sorting the alcohol out will clear the way to see if the relationship can work,

I posted more stuff in the General Support and Chat thread but it doesn't seem too chatty over there, I'm in an odd place, every time I woke up last night (and that was a lot of times) I was pressing refresh on my phone to see if anyone had replied.

Thanks for being there for me, gone a bit mad with the excersize, done 5 2k runs an 3 days and going paddle boarding this afternoon. The idea was to tire me out so I sleep without the alcohol, doesn't seem to be working too well.

I'll take more of a look around but really just getting my thoughts on here and reading your replies are helping a lot

<:)>

I've not even decided if cutting down (especially completely stopping drinking at home on my own) will work for me or if I have to stop altogether.

x.

Sarahkate96
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Sarahkate96 » 19 Oct 2019 12:38

Hi, my names Kate and I have a partner and 2 very young children, the youngest being 5 months old. Alcohol is destroying our family and I dont know what to do.
Personally I do tend to drink too often, the usual bottle of wine after a long day. I never used to be like that and I'm worried it will eventually spiral into a habit I cannot break. I can feel the desire for a glass of wine most days, this only stopped whilst pregnant.
The other more immediate problem is my partner. He has used alcohol to self medicate his adhd for many years, he finally took the steps last year to get diagnosed and some medications but the drinking is now an issue in itself. We've been back and forth with this for a long time, sometimes theres no drinking for months then it creeps back in and the next thing hes drinking at 6am or goes missing for days. I've asked him to move out as I cannot have this around my children. Hes said he knows hes got a problem and hes going to get help but he always says this. I want our family to stay together but I just dont know when enough is enough. I'm absolutely heartbroken right now.
Sorry for the long post!

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by smh1 » 19 Oct 2019 15:06

Sarahkate96 wrote:
19 Oct 2019 12:38
Hi, my names Kate and I have a partner and 2 very young children, the youngest being 5 months old. Alcohol is destroying our family and I dont know what to do.
Personally I do tend to drink too often, the usual bottle of wine after a long day. I never used to be like that and I'm worried it will eventually spiral into a habit I cannot break. I can feel the desire for a glass of wine most days, this only stopped whilst pregnant.
The other more immediate problem is my partner. He has used alcohol to self medicate his adhd for many years, he finally took the steps last year to get diagnosed and some medications but the drinking is now an issue in itself. We've been back and forth with this for a long time, sometimes theres no drinking for months then it creeps back in and the next thing hes drinking at 6am or goes missing for days. I've asked him to move out as I cannot have this around my children. Hes said he knows hes got a problem and hes going to get help but he always says this. I want our family to stay together but I just dont know when enough is enough. I'm absolutely heartbroken right now.
Sorry for the long post!
Hello Sarahkate and welcome to Brighteye. We all understand the issues around alcohol because we have all been there one way or another. It seems that you and your partner both have issues, you start your post with your concerns about your own drinking. I also needed that bottle of wine at the end of a long day, it eventually became more than one bottle, if you can stop now, do so. It won't get any better or easier with time. Well done for recognising it could be a problem.

Your partner has his own issues, but sadly only he can deal with those. For now you need to focus on you, being sober is vital if you have a baby of 5 months, at least the children will have one safe parent. Your example may encourage your partner to also reach out for help. I wish you all the very best on your new journey. Sue <:)>
Keep on keeping on. It might be your last chance. :)

Sarahkate96
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Sarahkate96 » 19 Oct 2019 15:58

Hi Sue

Thanks for your reply. Yes I agree I need to focus on myself and my children. I do not want them to grow up thinking drinking most nights is normal. I know if I don't address it now it will eventually reach a point where a bottle isn't enough or wine o'clock will get earlier and earlier each day. I also feel like a massive hypocrite, how can I try and help and support my partner with his drinking whilst I've got a glass of wine in my hand.
I see a lot of posts online of people who are alcohol free and I envy them. I have to do it so I can be the best mother I can be.
I feel a little lighter now I've made the decision, I just hope I can do it. Reading other peoples posts on this forum has definitely helped me today :)

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 19 Oct 2019 17:29

Sarahkate96 wrote:
19 Oct 2019 15:58
Hi Sue

Thanks for your reply. Yes I agree I need to focus on myself and my children. I do not want them to grow up thinking drinking most nights is normal. I know if I don't address it now it will eventually reach a point where a bottle isn't enough or wine o'clock will get earlier and earlier each day. I also feel like a massive hypocrite, how can I try and help and support my partner with his drinking whilst I've got a glass of wine in my hand.
I see a lot of posts online of people who are alcohol free and I envy them. I have to do it so I can be the best mother I can be.
I feel a little lighter now I've made the decision, I just hope I can do it. Reading other peoples posts on this forum has definitely helped me today :)
Good on you Sarahkate. Do what's right for you and your children. You have control over your own actions and responsibility for them. I hope that your partner will reach a better place, too. Being alcohol free is is a great feeling! This forum is amazing, but you might also like to take a look at the sober school.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 19 Oct 2019 17:40

I've not even decided if cutting down (especially completely stopping drinking at home on my own) will work for me or if I have to stop altogether.
My advice is to stop for a decent period of time at least. 3 months/100 days is often the suggested length for an initial period - it gives you a chance to form new habits and get some proper recovery time in. For most people, by the time you're asking yourself these sorts of questions it's time to stop completely. We all get into denial about our drinking problems and they tend to ve worse than we are aware of! I know I mucked about for years trying to moderate, just drink socially etc, and it was all a waste of time health and self-esteem. I quit completely and I hope forever when I joined here, and my only regret (it's a major one) is that I didn't do it many years ago.

It sounds like you're having a really rough emotional ride at the moment. Whatever happens about your relationship, you need to address your addiction anyway. The process of relationship counselling inevitably brings up really difficult stuff and can be very painful. It doesn't necessarily mean the relationship's ending, though. Try to address the stress - the exercise sounds like a great idea to me. Paddle boarding sounds relaxing, which is good. Apps such as Headspace or Calm can also really help lower you stress levels. Almost everyone who stops drinking has sleep problems for a while. I took prescribed medication, other swear by over the counter Nytol or herbal teas. Over time it sorts itself out - I sleep much better and more restfully these days - but you don't want to be coping with sleep deprivation as well as everything else so I'd get help for it.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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Jjjj of Old
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Jjjj of Old » 21 Oct 2019 13:57

Devil in the bottle wrote:
21 Oct 2019 13:47
Tried to post but not going through??
Hi, Devil in the bottle - and welcome to Bright Eye!

I'm sorry that you've had a problem trying to post. Your latest post has come through fine. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but maybe you could try again?

If you have any further problems, try to let us know and we'll look into it ;)?

Best wishes,
Mark
"Addiction doesn’t go away when we stop drinking." ~ Tai

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Devil in the bottle » 21 Oct 2019 14:16

My story starts at 14 years old when I discovered a bottle of mead in a cupboard at my mothers house.Loved every drop.I cleaned cards to pay for alcohol ( anyone could get served in those days). I then left home at 16 for a job 50 miles away living in digs with adults, of course we went to the pub every night.I got a transfer back home and started working in pubs as well as the day job, staying most evenings at , the then girlfriends house.

We split and a few months later met the wife and we were drinking partners but she has always been able to stop.I always drank to oblivion.

I then somehow got into the police force where I was a functional alcoholic, never drunk on duty but always drank alot at home after shifts including at 7 am after nights.

In service I had 4 serious attempts on my life one of which was a horrendous stabbing incident. I was diagnosed with ptsd which still plagues me to this day.People gave me more sympathy than I deserved and I used it as an excuse.

I retired from the police somehow with 3 medals and a bravery award from the Queen.
My drinking got even worse with massive K cider and vodka binges.
I went yellow and found that my liver was in very poor shape indeed.

I managed to stop drinking for a whole year .But a fall breaking my wrist lead me to think a few tins would just numb the pain, for info I was also addicted to codeine based painkillers from 1991-2013.
Of course things spiraled and i was drinking more than ever before.

NA got me off the codeine in 2013 but the compulsion to drink alcohol was enormous.

After a massive binge two weeks ago the wife locked me out and I ended up spending a day in the cells after banging on my own door,drunk. I was eventually dealt with under the mental health act and the police side of things have gone.

I needed a de-tox but in the 48 hours it took to arrange I had another couple of bottles of vodka ans spent time wandering the streets/park hallucinating seeing crocodiles ( of all things).

Detox pumped me full of librium for the first few days gradually reducing the dose.

I am now 12 days sober and hitting the AA and NA meetings.
My ptsd is still raging and hopefully I will now get the correct treatment.

This is my story, I am a piss head.I want no sympathy.I just wanted to share my plight.

Any comments or observations gratefully received.

Signed Devil in the bottle ( Lynryd Skynyrd song by the way)

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Jjjj of Old
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Jjjj of Old » 21 Oct 2019 15:05

Devil in the bottle (great song by the way), your post is extremely brave - well done for being so honest and also for taking a step towards recovering. It's great that you were able to overcome the addiction to codeine. It's perfectly possible for you to do the same with alcohol.

Very well done too for reaching 12 days. That's a great start. Do join in here - read around the forum and jump in wherever (and whenever) you want to. We're a friendly bunch, and there's a lot of great advice and support available from other members.

I'm thinking about that Lynyrd Skynrd song again:

"I'm walkin' down this dead end road, all alone and by myself"

Many of us have felt (and lived) that lyric. But no one needs to feel alone and by themselves here. And many of us "got free the day" we "fought the devil in the bottle". The same is true for you ;)?

I'll look forward to seeing you around the forum.

Very best wishes,
Mark
"Addiction doesn’t go away when we stop drinking." ~ Tai

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 21 Oct 2019 18:03

Welcome D in the B.

I take my hat off to you for getting sober. There really aren't any "reasons" for drinking - but it takes guts to face it. I've found this forum hugely helpful in navigating sobriety, I hope you do too.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

Irishruss
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Irishruss » 22 Oct 2019 08:44

:\: :\: Hi everyone. First time on here. After messing up, replacing sertraline with booze, I ended up in hospital on Sunday. I'm lucky to be alive. No I'm taking my first step to my new sober life. I'm sure you guys will help me to not only embrace it but to actually enjoy it!

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Topcat
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Topcat » 22 Oct 2019 08:49

Hi there Irishruss and welcome to BE. Have a good look round and post wherever you like. We are a friendly bunch. You might like to check out the First Seven Day Challenge and join in with the others starting out on the sober road. Any problems, shout out and someone should be able to help you. Good luck TC xx
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smh1
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by smh1 » 22 Oct 2019 13:47

Welcome Irishruss, I wish you well on your journey! (::)
Keep on keeping on. It might be your last chance. :)

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by matt_candycrusher » 28 Oct 2019 14:04

Hi, has anyone heard for this The DIY liver test for worried drinkers? Is is effective?
Has anyone used benzodiazepines or diazepam (Valium), or lorazepam (Ativan), or chlordiazepoxide (Librium)? I hear other benzodiazepines may be used, benzodiazepines with active metabolites (eg, diazepam or chlordiazepoxide. Has anyone had experiences with these and if so, how did it go?

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pickles
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by pickles » 28 Oct 2019 15:00

Hello matt, I haven’t heard of the DIY test but there is a link here if you have not seen it, other members may have posted something.

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=31&start=820

And there is this medication link that might be useful :

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=328
' Normal ' is just a setting on the washing machine .

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 28 Oct 2019 18:43

matt_candycrusher wrote:
28 Oct 2019 14:04
Hi, has anyone heard for this The DIY liver test for worried drinkers? Is is effective?
Has anyone used benzodiazepines or diazepam (Valium), or lorazepam (Ativan), or chlordiazepoxide (Librium)? I hear other benzodiazepines may be used, benzodiazepines with active metabolites (eg, diazepam or chlordiazepoxide. Has anyone had experiences with these and if so, how did it go?
Hiya,

I've not used them myself but I know you can buy DIY testing kits online. I think they are unlikely to be as effective as the ones your Dr would do, and they are only based on blood or urine screening, whereas you might need follow up with a fibroscan. But I take it you don't want to go to the Dr...

Given your list of possible medications, I'm assuming you're thinking of using these to cope with withdrawal symptoms? I have used both diazepam and trazodone in the past, but mostly (in my many, many withdrawals (w) ) I've just tapered off using weak lager for a few days.

I really get for the fear and shame you are feeling which is driving the questions. The best thing I have ever done for myself, by far, was to get free of the beastly stuff. This is a great forum to work on this - full of support and information. It's a horrible addiction, but you don't have to be alone with it, and you can recover (trust me, if I can anyone can!).
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

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