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New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
Smallt
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Smallt » 30 Oct 2019 08:53

Alight AJ here on day 3, tried stopping a million times usually make it to 5 days , but once did 14 days lol. First time I've tried a forum tho so we will see. Still waking up groggy and a headache at the minute hot and cold at night anyway good luck everyone x

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 30 Oct 2019 09:24

Smallt wrote:
30 Oct 2019 08:53
Alight AJ here on day 3, tried stopping a million times usually make it to 5 days , but once did 14 days lol. First time I've tried a forum tho so we will see. Still waking up groggy and a headache at the minute hot and cold at night anyway good luck everyone x
Hiya AJ! Ooooh I remember that horrid poisoned feeling so well! Insomnia, sweats, churning guts, anxiety...

I also remember not being able to get beyind a few days - either the wothdrawal would be so bad that I'd cave, or I'd start to feel a bit better and convince myself that I could just have a few, I didn't need to give up just cut down. I seemed to need about 400 lessons that this approach didn't work - but really the trouble was that I didn't understand what was happening to me or how to change it.

My life changed when I joined BE, partly because of all the support and information available here, and partly because at the same time a friend recommended that I read Allen Carr (not the comedian) Easy Way books. I read one, managed a month sober, then relapsed (it may be apparent by now that I'm a slow learner!) then I read another one, more slowly, thoroughly, and less defensively. I've been sober since.

I think you need to approach getting sober like a DIY or crafting project - you need to figure out what tools and materials you need, and then be prepared to experiment because your project is not quite the same as anyone else's project.

If you read back through this thread you'll find a ton of information - I'd grab a notebook and make a list of things to follow up. Keep a journal, and post somewhere on BE every day. The only people who fail ot those who stop trying.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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Smallt
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Smallt » 30 Oct 2019 09:49

:\: yer I've downloaded some help books interesting reading. Maybe I feel a bit more determined than I have before so I'm hoping that carrys me a bit further ,I'm gonna give it a couple more days laying about lol and maybe paint so walls in the house x

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 30 Oct 2019 10:33

I came across this quote earlier and liked it:
until I got sober I chose alcohol over the actions that could have made my life better.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 30 Oct 2019 10:46

Also worth doing this online course

http://www.rational.org/index.php?id=36
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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MikeB
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by MikeB » 31 Oct 2019 07:43

Hi everyone

Good to be here. I have had issues with drink all my adult life. Trying to find some support and new approaches to it. Thanks \:)/

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 31 Oct 2019 07:51

MikeB wrote:
31 Oct 2019 07:43
Hi everyone

Good to be here. I have had issues with drink all my adult life. Trying to find some support and new approaches to it. Thanks \:)/
Dashing off to work, but wanted to say welcome!
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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Jjjj of Old
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Jjjj of Old » 31 Oct 2019 07:52

MikeB wrote:
31 Oct 2019 07:43
Good to be here. I have had issues with drink all my adult life. Trying to find some support and new approaches to it. Thanks \:)/
Hi Mike, it's good to have you here ;)?

Please have a good read around the forum and join in whenever and wherever you like, asking all the questions you need to.

If you are drinking and wish to stop, people often find the First 7 Days thread useful, in the Sobriety Challenges section.

This is assuming that you are not drinking in such great quantities that it would be safer to taper-off first, for which there is also a thread.

You will find a good number of different approaches across the forum, as well as a lot of friendly advice and support.

Read around, join in, and make yourself feel at home ;)?

Very best wishes,
Mark

PS. Just crossing with Sally ;)?
"Addiction doesn’t go away when we stop drinking." ~ Tai

august
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by august » 02 Nov 2019 15:47

Hello to everyone here - just joined and hoping for some help as it's been years now of trying to give up. It's really taking it's toll on me now as I have always suffered from extreme anxiety and I know this stuff makes it worse but reason seems to go out of the window no matter how hard I try. I am feeling so low about this now.....how can I stop doing this and more importantly stay stopped. Any help would be much appreciated.

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Topcat
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Topcat » 02 Nov 2019 19:02

Hello August and welcome to BE.
august wrote:
02 Nov 2019 15:47
.how can I stop doing this and more importantly stay stopped
It's not easy, but it is doable. I never thought I could stop for good, but I finally managed it with the help of the good folk on this site.

Have a good look round the forum. You might like to join others on the First 7 Day Challenge, but feel free to post and join in wherever you wish. Any problems, just give a shout and someone can usually point you in the right direction.

Good luck. TC xx
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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 03 Nov 2019 08:56

Welcome August!

The first crucial steps are a) acknowledging that you've got a problem b) reaching out for support and you've done both of those! So even if just now you feel trapped and powerless, it's important to reccognise that this is a feeling, not reality. You can be free of drink - we all have that capability - and you've already taken two huge steps on the path. So, you know what you want to do - but you're fearful and unsure how to start (this is entirely normal).

My best advice would be to get a notebook and pen, and spend some of the time you might usually spend drinking on a Sunday making the start of a sober journal. Read back through this thread, which is stuffed with practical tips, advice, and information. And I'd also recommend reading some of The Road to Abstinence thread - this tends to have longer, reflective posts and I've found a great deal of inspiration on it.

Alcohol is powerful stuff, and you need as many tools as possible. Being free is a lifetime goal - keep it as your absolute focus, but also should you slip see that as a small mistake to be learned from, not defeat.

Understanding the nature of addiction helped me enormously. I happened upon Allen Carr's the Easy Way books and that was a turning point for me, but I also see people recommending Annie Grace This Naked Mind a lot. So do some book ordering, while you're at it.

Another BE thread to look at is this one, designed for those first steps viewtopic.php?f=4&t=787

Have faith - like you I was addicted for years and suffered very badly with anxiety and depression. Getting sober is not a magic fix for all your problems (in fact seeing them more clearly without the booze filter can be challenging) but it does have enormous benefits. I'd say my mental health has improved by about 90% now - I saw positive changes quite quickly and they've continied the longer I've been sober.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

Kebo
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Kebo » 04 Nov 2019 19:24

Hi, I have been Binge drinking for 25yrs and have had enough!.
I suffer with anxiety and low self esteem but mask it with being the funny up for a party anytime guy,who is always the last guy to leave.
I woke up Sunday with the most horrendous hangover and guilt and decided I’ve had enough.I visited the doctor today and decided I’m going get help...small steps but I just want to feel what it’s like to be sober for more than a week in 25yrs!
I’m hoping this forum will be a massive help on my journey that most of you have been on.🙂

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 04 Nov 2019 20:39

Kebo wrote:
04 Nov 2019 19:24
Hi, I have been Binge drinking for 25yrs and have had enough!.
I suffer with anxiety and low self esteem but mask it with being the funny up for a party anytime guy,who is always the last guy to leave.
I woke up Sunday with the most horrendous hangover and guilt and decided I’ve had enough.I visited the doctor today and decided I’m going get help...small steps but I just want to feel what it’s like to be sober for more than a week in 25yrs!
I’m hoping this forum will be a massive help on my journey that most of you have been on.🙂
Welcome aboard! You can do this! I recommend having a read back through this thread for tips and recommendations, and you might like to sign up to a challenge - 7 days is a popular starting point.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

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Ruby&Tilly
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 04 Nov 2019 23:45

Hi kebo and welcome to BE. :\: This forum and the wonderful people on here have made a massive difference to my life, I'm sure it will for you too. ;)? Feel free to read and post anywhere you want, there's threads for a whole range of topics, good luck with your journey. (::)

Ruby xx
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smh1
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by smh1 » 05 Nov 2019 12:56

Welcome August and Kebo and anyone else I may have missed. You have made a brilliant choice joining BE it has been such a wonderful help to me over the last nearly 2.5 years. Sue (::)
Keep on keeping on. It might be your last chance. :)

BlueElephant
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by BlueElephant » 16 Nov 2019 10:31

Hi All

Thirty something functioning family man. Have been drinking around 100 units (sometimes more) a week in premium lager for too long now. Worked out recently I have only gone something like 10 days in five or so years without my minimum required five or six cans. This is all at home. On weekends/nights out it can be nearer 10 pints.

I’ve known for a year or so that’s it’s gotten whey out of hand. The lack of hangovers (despite sometimes huge volumes) or trouble when drunk along with the reasonably successful job had hoodwinked me into thinking it wasn’t a problem before this. However, it soon became clear when I tried a night off that I’m in a bad way. Anxiety and physical withdrawal symptoms scared the life out of me.

Last weekend I was playing with the “Magic 8 Ball” with the kids. My daughter shook it and asked “would we be happier if dad didn’t drink as much beer” I don’t need to tell you how that made me feel.

I’ve already established I can’t cut down, if it’s one beer then it will have to be at least 5 on a school night and infinitum on the weekend. I know abstinence is the only option. It’s going to be tough but I thought being able to talk/be amongst others with similar problems would be beneficial and hence here I am.

It starts today. The first football match in several years without smashing several beers down my neck before watching! Actually quite pleased I can concentrate on the match rather than watching the clock waiting for the half time pint. And hey, I’ll actually remember the game.

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 16 Nov 2019 10:48

BlueElephant wrote:
16 Nov 2019 10:31
Hi All

Thirty something functioning family man. Have been drinking around 100 units (sometimes more) a week in premium lager for too long now. Worked out recently I have only gone something like 10 days in five or so years without my minimum required five or six cans. This is all at home. On weekends/nights out it can be nearer 10 pints.

I’ve known for a year or so that’s it’s gotten whey out of hand. The lack of hangovers (despite sometimes huge volumes) or trouble when drunk along with the reasonably successful job had hoodwinked me into thinking it wasn’t a problem before this. However, it soon became clear when I tried a night off that I’m in a bad way. Anxiety and physical withdrawal symptoms scared the life out of me.

Last weekend I was playing with the “Magic 8 Ball” with the kids. My daughter shook it and asked “would we be happier if dad didn’t drink as much beer” I don’t need to tell you how that made me feel.

I’ve already established I can’t cut down, if it’s one beer then it will have to be at least 5 on a school night and infinitum on the weekend. I know abstinence is the only option. It’s going to be tough but I thought being able to talk/be amongst others with similar problems would be beneficial and hence here I am.

It starts today. The first football match in several years without smashing several beers down my neck before watching! Actually quite pleased I can concentrate on the match rather than watching the clock waiting for the half time pint. And hey, I’ll actually remember the game.
Welcome BlueElephant!

Reaching out for support is a great idea. I'm well into personal best territory since I joined BE - and fully intending to remain there!

Another thing that really helped me was reading - there's lots of recommendations if you look around, but the book I came across was Allen Carr's the Easy Way and it really helped me make a fundamental mindshift which has been one of a few core elements to my recovery.

Do you have a plan for how you're going to handle the withdrawal? In a few cases alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous, and it's often unpleasant! Your GP or local addiction service may be able to prescribe medication to help with the withdrawal. I have to admit I toughed it out - but I'd been through it multiple times before and knew what to expect. Even so, I did have medication for insomnia which was always the worst thing for me (and I threw up, sweated and shook). DO MAKE SURE you take a supplement of high strength vitamin B1 (thiamine) starting today and continuing for a few weeks, it's essential for neurological repair, and you should also take magnesium - alcohol causes a deficiency, and in withdrawal you'll have less twitching and better sleep for taking it.

That all sounded a bit negative, and I don't mean to be at all! Getting sober is absolutely the best thing I have ever done and I just wish I'd done it years ago. It sounds like you've got great determination and motivation.
There's good advice here viewtopic.php?f=4&t=787
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

BlueElephant
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by BlueElephant » 16 Nov 2019 10:59

SoberBoots wrote:
16 Nov 2019 10:48
BlueElephant wrote:
16 Nov 2019 10:31
Hi All

Thirty something functioning family man. Have been drinking around 100 units (sometimes more) a week in premium lager for too long now. Worked out recently I have only gone something like 10 days in five or so years without my minimum required five or six cans. This is all at home. On weekends/nights out it can be nearer 10 pints.

I’ve known for a year or so that’s it’s gotten whey out of hand. The lack of hangovers (despite sometimes huge volumes) or trouble when drunk along with the reasonably successful job had hoodwinked me into thinking it wasn’t a problem before this. However, it soon became clear when I tried a night off that I’m in a bad way. Anxiety and physical withdrawal symptoms scared the life out of me.

Last weekend I was playing with the “Magic 8 Ball” with the kids. My daughter shook it and asked “would we be happier if dad didn’t drink as much beer” I don’t need to tell you how that made me feel.

I’ve already established I can’t cut down, if it’s one beer then it will have to be at least 5 on a school night and infinitum on the weekend. I know abstinence is the only option. It’s going to be tough but I thought being able to talk/be amongst others with similar problems would be beneficial and hence here I am.

It starts today. The first football match in several years without smashing several beers down my neck before watching! Actually quite pleased I can concentrate on the match rather than watching the clock waiting for the half time pint. And hey, I’ll actually remember the game.
Welcome BlueElephant!

Reaching out for support is a great idea. I'm well into personal best territory since I joined BE - and fully intending to remain there!

Another thing that really helped me was reading - there's lots of recommendations if you look around, but the book I came across was Allen Carr's the Easy Way and it really helped me make a fundamental mindshift which has been one of a few core elements to my recovery.

Do you have a plan for how you're going to handle the withdrawal? In a few cases alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous, and it's often unpleasant! Your GP or local addiction service may be able to prescribe medication to help with the withdrawal. I have to admit I toughed it out - but I'd been through it multiple times before and knew what to expect. Even so, I did have medication for insomnia which was always the worst thing for me (and I threw up, sweated and shook). DO MAKE SURE you take a supplement of high strength vitamin B1 (thiamine) starting today and continuing for a few weeks, it's essential for neurological repair, and you should also take magnesium - alcohol causes a deficiency, and in withdrawal you'll have less twitching and better sleep for taking it.

That all sounded a bit negative, and I don't mean to be at all! Getting sober is absolutely the best thing I have ever done and I just wish I'd done it years ago. It sounds like you've got great determination and motivation.
There's good advice here viewtopic.php?f=4&t=787
Hi Sober Boots

Thanks for the reply. RE Alan Carr, I know that book well. It actually helped me to a three day sober stint a couple of months ago. The relapse was purely my own doing (believing incorrectly I could have a few and then go days without) and in no way to do with the book. On the contrary, I found it to be enlightening in many ways and shall be listening again tonight.

My withdrawals take the form of disturbed sleep, night sweats/terrors and anxiety. But as the physical issues only come on at night my plan is to tough it out and take over the counter sleeping tablets for a week. As I am ok in the day, I do not currently plan to see my GP, but will of course keep this under review pending how the next couple of nights go.

Thanks again for your response. I am looking forward to looking around the forum and becoming involved ;)?

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 16 Nov 2019 11:07

The relapse was purely my own doing (believing incorrectly I could have a few and then go days without)
That bit of thinking kept me trapped for years! Sometimes I'd manage to either cut down or stop for a few days or weeks and then I'd think "Bingo! I'm cured, I can drink normally now" but of course I couldn't. The most stupid thing I ever did was pick up again after an entire year sober which had been remarkably easy. Despite the difficulty I'd had finding my sober gear again, I somehow thought I'd be able to find it again if I needed it, and I slipped for the umpteenth time into the old "I can moderate" lie. Three miserable years later I found BE and Allen Carr, and I'm grateful every day. I never want or intend to drink ever again, and these days this thought feels fantastic, like being let out of prison.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

BlueElephant
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by BlueElephant » 16 Nov 2019 11:20

SoberBoots wrote:
16 Nov 2019 11:07
The relapse was purely my own doing (believing incorrectly I could have a few and then go days without)
That bit of thinking kept me trapped for years! Sometimes I'd manage to either cut down or stop for a few days or weeks and then I'd think "Bingo! I'm cured, I can drink normally now" but of course I couldn't. The most stupid thing I ever did was pick up again after an entire year sober which had been remarkably easy. Despite the difficulty I'd had finding my sober gear again, I somehow thought I'd be able to find it again if I needed it, and I slipped for the umpteenth time into the old "I can moderate" lie. Three miserable years later I found BE and Allen Carr, and I'm grateful every day. I never want or intend to drink ever again, and these days this thought feels fantastic, like being let out of prison.
That is great to hear! The prison analogy is excellent too. I think if/when you realise that drink doesn’t make to happy if you have it, but miserable if you don’t, you have half won the battle.

This is of course rich coming from me on day 1 but I do feel positive this time versus previous attempts where the feeling was dread and that I would be depriving myself. When in reality you are losing nothing but gaining everything.

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