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[Moonshine10000]

I should add that my divorce is not solely or indeed primarily down to drinking. Last nights session did bring it to a head but I think my wife has wanted out for a while. I can count on one hand the number of benders I’ve been out on during our short marriage of a few years so whilst not great it’s not that bad !!

[Moonshine10000]

Hi everyone. I admitted to myself this morning that I am an alcoholic. I knew that I had a problem but it is more than a problem. I am feeling so alone and sad. I am a single mother and I would like nothing more than a hug right now, arm to cry on and someone to talk to that can understand me. My friends cant relate and they really don´t know how big the problem is and I know from the past talking to them about this will not help me. I do not want nothing more right now to get the blish feeling of being sober for a long time and from now on for the rest of my life. I am so so sad and lonely now

I feel you. I think facing an alcohol problem is a pretty lonely place. Like you say other people just don’t get it. It feels so daunting. But we’re all here for you

[SueDenim]

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I'm sorry to hear about your brother, Moonshine, but it's probably not too late for you. Even if you have damaged your health you can stop things getting worse by stopping drinking. The important thing now is to stop, as you know. When you have a few months of sobriety under your belt, you might want to get checked out, but by then you might not feel the need. Getting anything official on your records can be a pain when it comes to work things, insurance and so on, so it's a judgement call. It's definitely worth doing if you think you might need any sort of treatment, but often the advice is just to stop drinking, which you can do with a 'clean slate'.

Keep posting, and look after yourself. It goes without saying that if you have withdrawal symptoms you do need to get help.

[Moonshine10000]

Thanks Sue Denim. The jitters have gone after a couple of glasses of wine which I would add I’ve only taken to level off and ease the withdrawal. Stomach still not great but hopeful I’ll get some sleep tonight, hit the gym tomorrow and start the road to feeling better. My ex has been very supportive today which has been a big help. Still a good friend who understands why I drink and is supportive of me quitting and also had in respect of my marital problems. Nice to have a consoling voice. Sleep well everyone and stay sober

[Johnny67]

Thanks Deanna for your welcome. I'll read. Heading to the 7 day soon I hope

[SoberBoots]

Welcome Moonshine and Manga
Alcohol makes our lives so miserable and we can feel trapped - but life doesn't have to be like that, you can be well, proud, and looking back at your old drinking life wondering what on earth that was all about! Coming on here is a brave first step, well done

[Winnie 42]

I was only going to have a nosey at this page today and then chicken out and log off.
But I saw Manga's post and wanted to give her that hug.
I'm also a single Mum and understand the loneliness, stress and even boredom that leads to using drink more and more. Drinking wine becomes your social life, your relaxation and your 'partner' . There's no one to police you - so who knows if you drink every night, who knows if you have that extra glass or two. If nobody knows it's as if it didn't happen.
But before you know it you're drinking a bottle of wine a night even if you have work the next day. Your work suffers and you don't have enough energy for your kids. Your house is a mess and you feel out of control and guilty. So to cope with these feelings you drink!! Well that's how it happened for me!
But look what we've done Manga. We've opened up and admitted it. We've taken that first step to our new lives

[Rebecca]

Hi Hattie,

I can relate so much to what you are saying. I’m recently divorced and understand the boredom and the isolated feelings. You can have a new life, you’ll have a ton of energy for kids stuff sober, it’s almost like you can’t do both so you have to choose. Sobriety is a wise choice...congrats on the first step!

[Winnie 42]

Thanks Reese. Your words have made me cry with relief and for the first time in a long time I feel optimistic.

[DannyD]

Hi Hattie. Welcome to BE. I've been that single mother. I can't remember much of their childhood and find myself constantly apologising. Despite me, they've grown up into healthy adults. I worry about the drinking habits of my eldest, but if she's in trouble, it's something only she can come to terms with. And yes, boredom was a huge trigger. Can you find any craft activity to do during the evening hours? Jigsaw puzzle? Dig out knitting/crochet? What about one of those colouring in books? Something to keep you occupied during those long evenings.

It's a neat trick if you can recognise your triggers - even neater if you can find a way around it.

Good luck.

[Rebecca]

Awe, you should feel optimistic! There is a whole new life waiting! One of my turning points was a couple of years ago, I was reading a book about parenting and it said what you do actually has an eternal impact. The way you treat your kids and raise them will be passed along. When they are raising their kids, they’ll look back at their “base of operation” and the way you’ve raised them and pass it on to their kids and it goes on and on. When I got that, I really got it and I was sober for almost 2 years. I had a little bit of a relapse over the holidays...it was mostly from trying to start dating again but I’m back on the mend again.

[Winnie 42]

Thank you DannyD and Reece. You are both very wise and you have really helped me.
Good luck with the dating Reese

[Iroquois]

Welcome Hattie J.

Single moms and alcohol! Well, no wonder, what a job it is raising kids on one's own, hard enough sharing with a partner, I suspect!

But from all of us that struggled with raising the kids and coping with the effects of alcohol will testify: Pretty sure it would have been a lot easier if I had done it sober! For me, alcohol was just too easy to come by and drinking accepted up to a certain point! And then it starts to make a mess of our life!

So, give it a try going AF, after a while of not drinking you will come to appreciate coping with life and all its messiness with a clear head, a healthier body and a better outlook on it all!

Best wishes, all you newbies! We wish you great success!

Deanna

[SoberBoots]

Welcome Hattie, another bravie! I see you've joined the sober Feb challenge, which I'm also doing, so look forward to getting to know you!
This is a great forum, and also there's some real gems on this blog that you might like to check out http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/

[martha]

Welcome, Hattie! Good to have you with us

[Rebecca]

Good luck with the dating Reese

Thanks! It’s been crazy so far! Sobriety is so much more important though.

[Winnie 42]

My first hangover free morning in a long time. I like it!
I'm so relieved that I found this website - I'm really moved by the support. Thank you all.

Just wondering how you are Manga?

[martha]

My first hangover free morning in a long time. I like it!

Fantastic, Hattie, well done! Stick around and keep posting and you'll soon see the days building up.

[Alizarin]

Awesome Hattie- I hope you enjoy many more of these mornings.

we all have our way of dealing with them, mine whenever possible was to spend that time brushing my teeth and staring myself out in the mirror, it seemed to help and it certainly did my teeth a favour!

Good one Newt - I change my bedding. We have never had such fresh bedding so often. It's nice though. It tended to be one of the things I badly neglected while drinking.

[MarigoldFezziwig]

Hi. Here in hopes of some people to talk to that understand my situation. I’m 45. Is this forum active? If not, does anyone seeing this know of one that is active and helpful?