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New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
smh1
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by smh1 » 01 Dec 2019 13:25

Hello Matt and welcome to BE. You are among friends here we are all in the same boat so no judgement. We would all give you a hundred different reasons why we drank, and why we justified it to ourselves. But ultimately we all have to acknowledge that we drink because we choose to, it is an addiction, we can't control it but we can try to do something about it. Coming on here is a brilliant first step. Some folk go to AA or other face to face encounter groups, others go via the detox and rehab route, others with help from doctors but what we all on BE have is a determination to keep on keeping on trying to give up. If we try 100 times we will come back for the 101st time and give it our best shot and who knows that may be the one that cracks it!

Please take a look around the sites, post where and when you feel comfortable, maybe try a 7 day challenge or look for a tapering off site, you will find them all on BE. If you have been drinking a lot you might need to taper off or seek medical help but others will tell you more about that. I have tried numerous times to stop drinking in the past, this time I am 2.5 years sober, and believe me they have been the happiest times I have had in decades. It is possible to stop and to enjoy being stopped.

You are quite right in saying drinking seems to be so tolerated everywhere, but increasingly you will find people who choose not to drink at all, you certainly won't be the odd one out. As for people being rude, we all have to face difficult people in our lives, we sometimes sound off on here and get the support to laugh it off. I wish you all the very best in your journey. Sue <:)>
Keep on keeping on. It might be your last chance. :)

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 01 Dec 2019 14:35

Hi Matt, nothing much to add to what Sue said already, just wanted to welcome you. It's your choice to do something about your drinking, and you can make that decision regardless of what's happening around you.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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Whisper
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Whisper » 01 Dec 2019 20:01

matt_candycrusher wrote:
01 Dec 2019 12:37
Two reasons I drink are people being rude to me and drinking too much in my opinion being accepted more in the UK specifically Scotland than in other countries
100% I live in England and it’s such a bad binge culture at times. I was talking at work recently and so many of my colleagues drink every night. Which I know for some is ok... but still the fact we drink every day and it’s ‘normal’ is worrying. But got to focus on myself and my habit!

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ExiledHighlander
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by ExiledHighlander » 02 Dec 2019 13:24

Hi (again!) everyone,

I've introduced and re-introduced myself on here a number of times over the last few years and it's that time again! :cry:

It's probably been a couple of years since I last felt I needed the support of this group and during that time my level of drinking has stayed pretty constant and probably well in excess of 100 units a week although I never get to the point of staggering or falling down drunk. I just drink too much and too often and I know it's not good for me (health-wise or financially!)

I'd love to be able to get to the point where I have a few (literally!) beers at the weekend instead of drinking a bottle of wine or more a day but given my nature and unhealthy relationship with alcohol I suspect that deep down I just need to be permanently AF and to stop drinking totally.

So, here I am again. Day 1 of the journey.
"If it's important to you, you'll find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse." - unknown

"If I'm an alcoholic, I shouldn't drink. If I'm not, I don't need to." - Caroline Knapp

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 02 Dec 2019 14:55

I just need to be permanently AF and to stop drinking totally.
Yep, sure sounds like it. Masses of support on here, whatever your goals, so it's great that you've come back and a pleasure to "meet" you.

What's your game plan?
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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ExiledHighlander
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by ExiledHighlander » 02 Dec 2019 17:02

My game plan is to get through today without drinking and then take it day by day. I need some space to figure out the gameplan and the first couple of days are always the hardest for me but once I get some momentum and get away from the "I'll stop tomorrow" mentality then I can make progress. I don't want to stop drinking but I know I need to. I know I'll sleep better, I know I'll be more productive, I know I'll lose weight.

Intro over yet again, so I'll head over to the challenges!
"If it's important to you, you'll find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse." - unknown

"If I'm an alcoholic, I shouldn't drink. If I'm not, I don't need to." - Caroline Knapp

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 02 Dec 2019 20:32

Good plan EH, Things always are a lot clearer for a sober stint. Best of luck with the challenges.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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Olyt
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Olyt » 03 Dec 2019 15:57

Hi there.
I am now too. Not sure how to begin a new thread, but good luck on your journey!

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 03 Dec 2019 18:13

Olyt wrote:
03 Dec 2019 15:57
Hi there.
I am now too. Not sure how to begin a new thread, but good luck on your journey!
Welcome Olyt! You don't need to start a new thread, just look around until you find a thread you want to join and then post on it. The 7 day challenge is a popular one for new joiners, or if you're up for a longer initial commitment then the 100 day one is busy too. There are places that you can post about your personal goals, or to say each day that you won't drink/haven't drunk. And the Road to Abstinence is great for reflection and insight.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

Rowena
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Rowena » 05 Dec 2019 21:46

Hello everyone, new here just hoping I can do something about stopping drinking. Always been someone who trys to run away from my own thoughts as I am very prone to anxious thinking and alcohol seems to help with that but then it makes things worse and takes away your confidence to deal with anything. Even though I know all of this I just keep repeating the habit and it's gone on for far too long. I hope to feel strong enough tomorrow to stop but does anyone have any tips on stopping for good please?

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 05 Dec 2019 23:05

Rowena wrote:
05 Dec 2019 21:46
Hello everyone, new here just hoping I can do something about stopping drinking. Always been someone who trys to run away from my own thoughts as I am very prone to anxious thinking and alcohol seems to help with that but then it makes things worse and takes away your confidence to deal with anything. Even though I know all of this I just keep repeating the habit and it's gone on for far too long. I hope to feel strong enough tomorrow to stop but does anyone have any tips on stopping for good please?
Welcome Rowena! Reaching out for support is a really important first step, and you'll find lots of support and information on here. Everyone's different, so my advice is to treat getting sober as a project. Have a good read around the forum, with a notebook to hand, and write down things that strike you. Look things up, make a list of tips and techniques, and give things a go - and if you slip, dust off and learn from it rather than giving up. Alcohol's a nasty sneaky addictive poison, and it's a wonder more people don't have their lives devastated by it. Finding yourself in difficulty does NOT imply that you're in any weak or that you're powerless, you've simply had your confidence damaged and you can rebuild it. Early on in my recovery someone recommended Allen Carr's Easy Way books to me, and I have to say that they were key in changing my mindset about alcohol, so I recommend them to you too. I don't think I'd have stayed sober so long without the support and info I've gained from BE though - 2.5 years on and I still post every day. For reference, I was an extremely heavy drinker with a decades-long problem and the willpower of a mosquito, so if I can do it anyone can!
Last edited by SoberBoots on 06 Dec 2019 10:11, edited 1 time in total.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

Maria
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Maria » 06 Dec 2019 08:03

Welcome Rowena \:)/
Great advice from SB ;)? I have achieved many AF spells because of this forum ,I too suffer with anxiety and with age alcohol makes it worse
Why don't you join us in the 7 day thread and go from there \:)/
Never stop trying... Never stop believing .. Never give up .. Your day will come !

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Rowena » 06 Dec 2019 09:50

Thank you so much to SB's and Maria - such helpful advice. I will be doing my best today and will look into the challenges/books etc.
This looks to be a very special forum with people who have been there and so understand the complexities of this whole problem.

smh1
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by smh1 » 07 Dec 2019 09:25

Hello Rowena and welcome to BE. You have already had excellent advice but just want to encourage you and say that, like SB, I am 2.5 years sober, and without a doubt the overwhelming feeling is one of relief and thankfulness for each day. You have done a great thing joining here and I really wish you all the very best on your journey. Sue <:)>
Keep on keeping on. It might be your last chance. :)

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Gemwrightcart » 07 Dec 2019 14:19

Hi, I'm Gemma... I'm 30 and a mother to two beautiful children!
I have had a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol since I was about 16, there have been stages in my life where my drinking has become very heavy and I have had countless injuries and blackouts because of it. I drink every night, not to excess all the time, but I always feel like I need a drink in the evening to relax!
It's got to the stage where I'm drinking more and more each night and I can see myself going off the rails again. I have tried to stop many times and I've managed 2 or 3 nights before I'm back to drinking again!
I am desperate to stop, but I don't feel like I can do it alone

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 07 Dec 2019 14:55

Welcome Gem!

Best possible first step is reaching out for help and support, so well done you! There's lots of support and info on here, and you might also like this blog http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/ I really recommend reading around on the forum, many people like to join a challenge like the 7 day one as a way to get started, but there's threads for everyone!
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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nowineforme
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by nowineforme » 15 Dec 2019 12:15

Hello! My name is Jo. I posted on here a few years back and managed 3 months AF. Since then my alcohol intake has gone up and up...regularly falling over etc...I work in a pub, but although I don't drink when I work, it's the socialising afterwards. I left my whole life behind in Cardiff to look after my parents because they were ill; I left my husband of 22 years. My Dad died last year and my Mum is elderly and infirm. I had a bad relationship with another man for about 6 months and I'm going through the menopause. Just got my divorce through finally the other day and the "celebrating" turned bad. I was picked up face down on the pavement by plain clothes police who took me home to my Mum's. I have no recollection of that at all. So frightening. Have decided that I cannot drink any more as it is dangerous and unsafe for me. Am still feeling tearful and shaky.
Curiouser and curiouser...if Alice had ignored the bottle that said "Drink Me" she may well have had an entirely different experience in Wonderland!

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 15 Dec 2019 12:36

nowineforme wrote:
15 Dec 2019 12:15
Hello! My name is Jo. I posted on here a few years back and managed 3 months AF. Since then my alcohol intake has gone up and up...regularly falling over etc...I work in a pub, but although I don't drink when I work, it's the socialising afterwards. I left my whole life behind in Cardiff to look after my parents because they were ill; I left my husband of 22 years. My Dad died last year and my Mum is elderly and infirm. I had a bad relationship with another man for about 6 months and I'm going through the menopause. Just got my divorce through finally the other day and the "celebrating" turned bad. I was picked up face down on the pavement by plain clothes police who took me home to my Mum's. I have no recollection of that at all. So frightening. Have decided that I cannot drink any more as it is dangerous and unsafe for me. Am still feeling tearful and shaky.
Welcome aboard NoWineForMe. Most of us spent many years in denial about our problem - it terrifies me when I look back at some of my past drunk behaviour! Good things can come of bad experiences though. My last bad experience led directly to me saying what I'd never believed I'd say: "never again". I'm not saying it hasn't been a struggle at times, because it has, but most importantly and overwhelmingly it's a relief. Posting daily on BE and working my way through the challenges really helped, and also I was recommended to read Allen Carr's Easy Way books which really turned my mindset around like I'd found the missing link. You'll find your own set of things that work for you, but why not give yourself a period of abstinence while you figure things out? You're in good company here and there's no judgement <:)>
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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Leslans
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Leslans » 15 Dec 2019 13:06

Hi Nowineforme. I’m sorry that you had a horrible experience recently, alcohol makes a habit of doing things to us which leaves us so ashamed. You know the ropes on here and there is so much support. Ultimately it’s down to you and your want for sobriety. I know that unless I really really want this badly enough I will relapse. I have learned so much over the years during long periods of sobriety despite my relapses and that experience is paying off now. I guess we’ve all tried different things to try and moderate our drinking which may work for a short while but we inevitably drift back to old behaviours. Knowing, understanding and accepting we are unable to drink moderately or safely I believe takes time for us to fully acknowledge and I truly hope this is your time now.

Stick around and take on board what people say. No one should have to live a life dominated by this addictive drug as that’s exactly what it is. Just try and do one day, one hour or minute at a time and get through the temptations which are put in front of you. I wish well and hope you stick around to reap the benefits of sobriety <:)>
"Don't look back, you're not going that way"

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nowineforme
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by nowineforme » 15 Dec 2019 14:08

Thanks Soberboots and Lesions. At the moment I still can't stop crying, but I know that's part of the process :roll: I feel like I've been run over by a bus :roll: I am determined to put a stop to all of that now though.
Curiouser and curiouser...if Alice had ignored the bottle that said "Drink Me" she may well have had an entirely different experience in Wonderland!

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