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New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
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Mark.
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Mark. » 07 Apr 2020 20:16

stuckinbeer wrote:
07 Apr 2020 16:59
I'm currently at the really considering my drink levels early stages as yet - yes, I probably should be further but for now but I'm early days in this 'thinking about my drinking' lark.

I'll aim to get closer to those sober times eventually, at least to some degree!
Sounds like a good plan, Stuckinbeer! Keeps reading and posting here. It all really helps us to improve our relationship with alcohol, from wherever we begin the journey ;)?
'Have another drink,' said Trillian, 'enjoy yourself.'
'Which?' said Arthur. 'The two are mutually exclusive.'

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by martha » 07 Apr 2020 21:25

Welcome, Sarah and Stuckinbeer! :\:
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Spats
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Spats » 08 Apr 2020 09:23

welcome to all new to BE and congrats on taking your first step (::)

As Mark says a lot of people tend to take the 7 day challenge to begin with but when you're still deciding what and where you should be it can be very daunting. So let's call it and Alcohol Free test instead of a restrictive daily challenge.. By this I mean test yourself and see how many days you can go without a drink and mark it onto a daily chart. You may not be able to manage a week without a drink so mark the first day that you have an AF day with a huge star/red cross/ whatever symbol you like. Then carry on till the next AF day but accept that you must put in the effort to reach that stage.

If you're a heavy drinker it's not advisable to reduce your drinking quickly so instead mark each days drink units and try to reduce them each day .

The point is that hopefully you will eventually notice a reduction in the amount you drink and/or the number of consecutive days you go without a drink. When you feel strong enough then challenge yourself further. Sometimes you'll fail but as long as you get back on it that's ok. Nobody is here to judge you, we're all here to help and support each other.

Take care, stay safe and well and stay strong folks <:)>

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Trojan
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Trojan » 08 Apr 2020 15:12

Welcome Sarah and Stuckinbeer :-)

Thinking about stopping before taking the leap is a normal part of the stages of change that we each go through. We recognise when drinking has become a problem, but get stuck when it comes to working out “what next?” and developing new healthy ways of coping.

As a starting point, it can help to understand the stages of change, as a sort of map of the territory. Here is an outline…
https://www.smartrecovery.org/smart-art ... of-change/

And here is some solid evidence-based information on addiction, recovery and relapse prevention…
https://www.addictionsandrecovery.org
Au milieu de l'hiver, j'apprenais enfin qu'il y avait en moi un été invincible.
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stuckinbeer
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by stuckinbeer » 09 Apr 2020 14:11

Thanks Trojan - interesting reading ;)?

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Lou24 » 09 Apr 2020 23:30

\:)/ Hey there. So, my dad is a heavy drinker. We live together as my mom and him separated due to his drinking habits. He drinks twice now. He even brings friends when im not home. He is the sweetest and most caring dad when he is not drunk, but when he is, he becomes a monster. My immense affection for him is trying to make him change. I feel like he is in a dark tunnel and he needs help but do not realise it. Im at my mom's place for a few days and in the morning, im going to see him. Someone saw him in his most terrible, drunk state and phoned me. It is a new day where I will give him a last chance. My heart will bleed if he refuse to coorperate and I will have to leave him depressed. But he is the barrier to my success in life. So I will wake up early and go to see him in the morning. We will see.

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Iroquois » 10 Apr 2020 05:32

Welcome Lou24

I hope you had success with your dad and convincing him to choose sobriety! Ultimatums sometimes work, sometimes not.

I finally quit drinking, first for myself and then to keep my daughter and grandchildren! It was a great incentive, I know that, the thought of going through life without them kept me mostly on the straight and narrow!

At first, he might be very good and then have relapses. Most people that quit have relapses because the habit is so hard to quit!

So, if he quits, do stick with him through relapses, even though it might seem hard. Sometimes tough love is just what is needed, and then forgiveness, because we drunks don't come to that status without many reasons! Encourage him to talk about why he became addicted. And, remember, alcoholism is a disease, not a character flaw.

I would seriously encourage him to go to rehab, perhaps a lengthy stay or whatever time he can afford. Group therapy and life lessons about addiction, plus medication to help with the withdrawal is the best way to tackle the problem.

I do so hope your dad decides to take the journey, and be with him with that first step!

Best wishes, Deanna <:)> <:)> <:)>
There isn't enough alcohol in the world to make you happier, calmer, prettier, more clever or less angry.
Only sobriety will help you achieve these attributes.

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Mark.
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Mark. » 10 Apr 2020 07:54

Lou24 wrote:
09 Apr 2020 23:30
Hey there. So, my dad is a heavy drinker.
Welcome, Lou. ;)?

I'm sorry to hear about your father's drinking, but well done for looking into ways to help him.

You have already had an excellent reply from Deanna! All I can add is to encourage you to read around the forum and join in wherever and whenever you wish. Ask all the questions you'd like - we're all friendly!

You might find the Relationships section particularly helpful. But all around the forum you'll find useful information and support. I'm sure that in reading our stories, you'll recognise a lot of your father's behaviour. You'll also find a lot of hope from a lot of people who turned their lives around after deciding to do something about their drinking.

Beyond Bright Eye you might also find the AA-related Al-Anon organisation helpful.

I hope that your father will soon recognise that his and your lives and relationship would be much healthier without booze. And, as Deanna says, do have patience.

Very best wishes, and I'll hope to see you around the forum ;)?
Mark
'Have another drink,' said Trillian, 'enjoy yourself.'
'Which?' said Arthur. 'The two are mutually exclusive.'

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Tomsk46 » 10 Apr 2020 21:08

Hi,
New member here, one day officially sober. Been struggling with it for a number of years, but it has become far to much in recent months. Finally hit rock bottom yesterday. The only way is up I suppose.

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by smh1 » 10 Apr 2020 21:14

Tomsk46 wrote:
10 Apr 2020 21:08
Hi,
New member here, one day officially sober. Been struggling with it for a number of years, but it has become far to much in recent months. Finally hit rock bottom yesterday. The only way is up I suppose.
Hello Tomsk46 and a big welcome to Brighteye. You have made the most important decision ever and have taken the hardest step - admitting you have a problem! Well done for one day so far, that is such an achievement when we first start. It took me years to get to one day sober. We are all in the same boat and you will receive nothing but help and advice, because we all know what it feels like.

You could read around the different threads on the forum and post when and where you feel comfortable. Many of us have tried the 7 day challenge a good place to start, but others favour a more general approach Road to Abstinence, etc. Where ever you feel comfortable is good. I wish you all the very best on your journey. Sue (::)
Keep on keeping on. It might be your last chance. :)

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Mark.
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Mark. » 11 Apr 2020 06:59

Welcome, Tom. I'm sorry to hear you've hit rock bottom but, as Sue, says, I get where you're coming from because most of us here have been there too.

I can't add anything to Sue's excellent advice. Have a good read around the forum, and join in wherever and whenever you can. There's friendly advice and support - and also a lot of hope ;)?

Very best wishes,
Mark
'Have another drink,' said Trillian, 'enjoy yourself.'
'Which?' said Arthur. 'The two are mutually exclusive.'

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 11 Apr 2020 08:29

Welcome Tom! You're in good company here.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Tomsk46 » 12 Apr 2020 13:51

smh1 wrote:
10 Apr 2020 21:14
Tomsk46 wrote:
10 Apr 2020 21:08
Hi,
New member here, one day officially sober. Been struggling with it for a number of years, but it has become far to much in recent months. Finally hit rock bottom yesterday. The only way is up I suppose.
Hello Tomsk46 and a big welcome to Brighteye. You have made the most important decision ever and have taken the hardest step - admitting you have a problem! Well done for one day so far, that is such an achievement when we first start. It took me years to get to one day sober. We are all in the same boat and you will receive nothing but help and advice, because we all know what it feels like.

You could read around the different threads on the forum and post when and where you feel comfortable. Many of us have tried the 7 day challenge a good place to start, but others favour a more general approach Road to Abstinence, etc. Where ever you feel comfortable is good. I wish you all the very best on your journey. Sue (::)
Thanks muchly, made it to day three with only a few pangs, but I’ve got this far before so will need to keep strong. I’ll look through the threads as I’m sure I’ll find something useful.

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Tomsk46 » 12 Apr 2020 13:51

Mark. wrote:
11 Apr 2020 06:59
Welcome, Tom. I'm sorry to hear you've hit rock bottom but, as Sue, says, I get where you're coming from because most of us here have been there too.

I can't add anything to Sue's excellent advice. Have a good read around the forum, and join in wherever and whenever you can. There's friendly advice and support - and also a lot of hope ;)?

Very best wishes,
Mark
Thank you!

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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Tink » 12 Apr 2020 16:51

:\: well... I'm back....fell off the wagon 3 years ago and after 5 years of sobriety...
Good news is....I am getting back on the wagon and making day 2 today....
One day at a time.
This site helped me so much last time and will again....
Trying times for us all.
I will be reading and catching up here...
Thank you all for being here...
😘💕
Life is a journey not a destination. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots » 12 Apr 2020 17:37

Welcome back Tink!
made it to day three with only a few pangs, but I’ve got this far before so will need to keep strong
I hear you, I was a day 3 relapser too! I don't know if you've tried Allen Carr's Easy Way books, but the approach helped me through this as well as with other important things.
Last edited by SoberBoots on 12 Apr 2020 22:45, edited 1 time in total.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Winkler
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Winkler » 12 Apr 2020 19:36

Welcome back Tink!
I remember reading some of your posts back in the day, although I think you were getting sorted then.
I’ve left and returned, too, I keep trying!
I’d love to hear your story of the meantime, how life’s treated you
Really good that you’re back on it xx
The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see - Winston Churchill

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Trojan
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Trojan » 12 Apr 2020 19:45

Hello Tink, I remember when you were here before :-)

This is a good time for renewal and new beginnings, and I hope to see you around more ;)?
Au milieu de l'hiver, j'apprenais enfin qu'il y avait en moi un été invincible.
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chick dip
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by chick dip » 13 Apr 2020 14:48

Tink wrote:
12 Apr 2020 16:51
:\: well... I'm back....fell off the wagon 3 years ago and after 5 years of sobriety...
Good news is....I am getting back on the wagon and making day 2 today....
One day at a time.
This site helped me so much last time and will again....
Trying times for us all.
I will be reading and catching up here...
Thank you all for being here...
😘💕

OMG.... Teri my friend...what a delight to see your name <:)> <:)> <:)>
AF May 2010-Sept 2012...thanks to this site...

Onward and upward again

Tink
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Tink » 13 Apr 2020 16:55

<:)> Thank you Chick 😘💕💝
Life is a journey not a destination. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.

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