New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
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debsuyar
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by debsuyar »

Hi and welcome back!
I’m a returner too!
I’m undergoing therapy but honestly nothing works better for me than being here with these lovely, supportive people!
Thanks Tobin and all the MODS for giving us a freedom to express all our demons, without judgement.
Being with these guys means the world to me so I hope it will work, it some way, for you x
Ruin is the road to transformation....

Carpdiem
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Carpdiem »

My story. I found this website probably like many of you – googling “how to stop drinking” and have spent the last few days reading lots of posts. I’ve had a terrible relationship with alcohol for about 13 years now. Always “liked a drink” and got drunk on special occasions but didn’t abuse it like I’ve been doing for a while now. The past 5 years or so have been awful and have included my partner leaving me at one point due to me being abusive when drunk, I’ve embarrassed friends and family, really upset my children, drinking whilst probably over the limit and drinking at work. I even ended up in hospital having taken an (unintentional) overdose of alcohol and sleeping tablets. I am a health care professional and was taken to a hospital I frequently work in so I was so mortified…………..at the time………..fast forward to I’ve “got over” that and am back to drinking in secret. I can get through a bottle of gin a day and not even seem affected. I’ve been kidding myself that its over two days as I drink half in the evening and then the other half the next day – but in reality, it is a bottle in less than 24 hours. I’ve been ill since Monday – possibly a bug but also possibly withdrawal symptoms as topping up with alcohol as helped. I spent last night in the spare room sweating like mad and googling liver/pancreas failure symptoms. Feeling better today and the withdrawal seems to be waning but I have a pain in my left side hence the worry about pancreatitis.

My DP is unaware of all this as I have been passing it off as a virus and our daughter had a tummy bug last Friday to Sunday so he thinks I’ve got that. I am sure he doesn’t know about the drinking as he would absolutely challenge me on it if he thought I was. Its been quite easy to hide as I’ve been in bed for 3 days and he’s been at work – I pretend I am asleep when he gets in at night. I’ve been heading to the corner shop when he is at work and filling up water bottles with gin in my car then getting rid of the gin bottles. The kids think I’ve been a walk as I tell them I am on a health kick – how ironic - I go out with water and come back with gin. God, it just sounds so ridiculous written down and I can’t believe I’ve put my family through this. When I overdosed, my kids thought I was going to die and yet I have picked the bottle up again and drinking to very dangerous levels.

So today is day 1. I’ve had a phone consultation with my GP who is very supportive. He doesn’t think I need a medical detox but I can phone back if I feel withdrawal symptoms start again. He is referring me for counselling about my reasons for drinking but I am also seeking out private options – I am spending around 60 – 80 pound a week on booze so I can afford some private sessions.
My problem now is the old issue of not wanting abstinence but to be controlled which I do really deep down probably know that moderating will not be an option for me but as I have read in other people’s posts, the thought of never having a drink socially again is too much so I am thinking “don’t drink today” as I’ve seen on here. I have learned a lot from reading other posts and am hoping by keeping posting on here I will be able to see the light as others have and stop for good.

I'm sorry so many of us are in this position but I look forward to being a member of the forum. Thanks for reading.

alnessy
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by alnessy »

Hello.. So day 1 of making that change... have been drinking heavily for a long time, wine is my go to and every evening. Fed up of it, know every reason why not to but the habit keeps me pouring it. So have read / printed out lots of info and written down lots of notes about why I need to stop - when I think about it, its just not having a drink, how pathetic must I be to just not have a drink.

Hoping chatting with likewise people will help with the motivation and commitment, and feeling less alone!! Feel kinda nervous too... Going to take it one day at a time, then one week, then one fortnight, etc...

Carpdiem
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Carpdiem »

Hi alnessy - day 1 for me too. Scary but excited too! My body is craving healthy foods although it’s maybe psychological- just had a lovely salad for lunch rather than my usual cheese and ham panini with tons of mayo! Have also drank lots of water which is new for me too! Hoping theses are good signs.

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Topcat
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Topcat »

Hi Carpdiem and Alnessy - welcome to BE.

Well done on admitting to a drink problem and seeking help - that's the toughest part and far from an easy thing to do ;)?

Feel free to have a good look around and post wherever you wish. Most people like to start out on the First 7 Day Challenge. You'll be with others in the same situation all giving and receiving support.

viewtopic.php?f=7&p=925213#p925213
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When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

Carpdiem
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Carpdiem »

Thanks topcat - will do. No cravings as yet today. Novelty of stopping does however fade in time, I know this so well. Keeping busy and planning a big long walk around 5pm which is my time to start drinking when I’m it secret drinking. Now that lockdown easing up, we were supposed to be going to friends tomorrow night but I have said I’m not going using my “virus” and fears of passing on as an excuse. Whilst I can handle not drinking when a friend is having one or two, this will be A very boozy night and the irony is not lost on me that I hate being around people! I think that is one of my triggers- I get very nervous when others are drinking heavily and so I tend to get stuck in too. :(

Lennylenny
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Lennylenny »

Day five for me, been tidying my wardrobe, shitloads of tins and empty vodka bottles all hidden there, a horrible sight. Eating like a horse , can’t stop!!

Clairebs
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Clairebs »

Hello. An online counsellor recommended this forum, so here I am. Not used to forums and have no idea what I’m doing but she did say it was a good place to get support :)

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Topcat
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Topcat »

Hello Claire and welcome to BE <:)> This is indeed a very good place to get support. I didn't have a clue about forums either when I joined, but I soon got the hang of it as I'm sure you will too.

If you are looking to stop drinking completely (always a good idea to have a period of sobriety anyway even if you're not looking to stop drinking altogether) then there's no better place to start than the First 7 Day Challenge (just click on the link below). You'll be with others starting out on the sober road. Feel free to post wherever you wish though. There are numerous threads that you can explore. If you need any help - just shout out. TC <:)>

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=368&p=925232#p925232
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When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots »

Welcome all! Joining here is the best thing you can possibly do! I would also get an app such as Easyquit, and do some reading - I found Allen Carr's Easy way self help programme really useful, and Catherine Grey's the Unexpected Joys of Being Sober is a fantstic inspirational read. Don't forget to take some vitamin supplements (you need magnesium, calcium, and B1), these will help your body repair. There's useful advice to be found by reading back on this thread, and also here viewtopic.php?f=4&t=787
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

Anneka
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Relapse

Post by Anneka »

Hi ive been reading all your stories for a few a days and i feel this is the right place for me. Ive just got to day four and relapsed again because I couldn’t cope the days without sleep i hope you all welcome me sometimes u feel at a lost. I went for a yr and relapsed but i see how good this forum has done for people. Hope all are well this Friday evening :\: :

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Topcat
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Topcat »

Welcome to BE Anneka. I see you've already found the First 7 Day Challenge which is a good place to start on the sober route. Don't worry about relapsing, think we've all been there (many times in my case). I did so after nearly a year too. Stick at it ;)?

Good luck. TC xx
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When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

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SoberBoots
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Re: Relapse

Post by SoberBoots »

Anneka wrote:
25 Jul 2020 00:18
Hi ive been reading all your stories for a few a days and i feel this is the right place for me. Ive just got to day four and relapsed again because I couldn’t cope the days without sleep i hope you all welcome me sometimes u feel at a lost. I went for a yr and relapsed but i see how good this forum has done for people. Hope all are well this Friday evening :\: :
Welcone Anneka! Sleep problems are really common in alcohol withdrawal, but if you push through it will improve. I was badly affected and took sleeping pills, you coud try over the counter sleeping aids to get you through. Aim to relax rather than stress about sleep, and remember that what sleep you do get is the real deal.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Lineinsand
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Lineinsand »

Hi First time on the site. Day 2 of not drinking. Aged 65 and realised that depression=alcohol=depression= alcohol.
Here we go with not drinking. Fingers and toes crossed. Being supported by my wife.

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots »

Welcome Lineinsand!

I think the corrosive effects if alcohol on mental health are terrible, and mostly poorly understood. Doesn't matter what age you are, you've made the connection now, and you're doing something about it, things that many never achieve. You'll get all the support and information you need on here - try reading back through this thread with a noteboook handy, it's full of tips and suggestions.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Lineinsand
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Lineinsand »

Day 3. Not too bad. Enjoyed seeing a tiny bit of weight loss. My wife and discussed what sanctions she would impose if she caught me drinking. That helped. She wants to be stern with me to get results.

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Lineinsand
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Lineinsand »

Day 4. Not easy. Newt says it should get better after Day 14. That seems a long way off. I poured my wife a glass of line last night as a test. I passed. We have kept all the booze in the house because we like entertaining and also it is unfair to impose abstinence on my wife. This means I must exercise total control as I open cupboards with vodka and other enticements in them. Hey ho. I can do this.

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots »

Lineinsand...

I know your wife is being supportive and it's truly great that she's going to be involved in your recovery. However you need to address the addiction in yourself. Unless you deeply want to stop, at a level that's deeper than saying so and believing it at the time, it's very difficult to pull through. Because, underneath, you still want to drink you have to fight it all the time.

Days 3/4 are often particularly hard and a common time to relapse - this is a symptom of withdrawal which is both pysical and mental, understand it as such and you will find it easier to get through.

I found Allen Carr's Easy Way self help programme turned my attitude to alcohol around, and really recommend giving it a go. Like most things it's not for everyone but it has helped thousands. You can get one of the books, which is what I did, see a therapist, or attend a workshop if they're able to run them at the moment.

Another good thing to try is the Rational Recovery approach, which you could do immediately as it's online here http://www.rational.org/index.php?id=36
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Winkler
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Winkler »

I think it’d actually be easier for you, Lineinsand, your if your wife were to avoid drinking around you, for a few weeks anyway
It shouldn’t be difficult for her if she doesn’t have a problem
I know alcohol is very much a part of socialising for most people but it takes time to adjust to socialising without a drink, you don’t have to play with matches in a haystack!
In time, you know, it won’t be on your mind at all
Does she drink every night?
Truth waits for eyes unclouded by longing - Lao Tzu

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Lineinsand
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Lineinsand »

Day 5
Thank you Winkler and Soberboots and Newt for your help.
I will look at some of the material you suggest.
Some friends are coming round this evening for a meal so this is going to be tough.
I will say I am on medication and cannot take alcohol. Not ready to say I am an alcoholic
if I don't have to.

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