Mostly Sober

[DannyD]

It sounds as though you can find some really healthy places Cowboy. And that you know yourself well. Thinking about it, I want to please people - but then I sabotage myself by drinking.

Not today though. Almost healthy eating as well (and then got distracted by a cookery programme!). Onwards. I have fish for tomorrow, so that'll be healthy. Maybe.

[Cowboy]

Love my fish DD. It's one of my healthy snacks. Smoked salmon or trout is my favorite. I get it from the local grocery store but I think it's smoked at one of the local First Nations reservations. Be nice to purchase from the source but oh well.

Yes. There are very many healthy spaces in these parts and I do know myself well. I am trying very hard to know myself better and I believe that for me one of the keys to my sobriety is getting in touch with me and stopping all that negative dialogue with myself. With the help of my sobriety I am getting there. Slowly but surely. I can feel it.

Enjoy your fish and stay safe.

[DannyD]

I've been saving money. The amount I drink has been costing a fortune, so I am saving money. This morning I burnt some of my savings. Even now, I'm watching money go up in smoke. I visited my local coal merchant, bought coal and logs. This afternoon, I'm not sorry at all. I'm toasty warm, sitting in front of my fire. Lush.

[DannyD]

I'm not counting days. In the past I've been frantic - day one, week one, a fortnight, almost a month. It would become a challenge to myself, a sort of race to get to the next day sober. Instead, I'm living in the moment, enjoying being in my own space. Probably becoming accustomed to being a hermit, which suggests that I'll find the lifting of lockdown socially challenging. Wait and see.

[Cowboy]

Well done DD. I don't like to count days either. I prefer to stay away from the challenges. That's why I am doing the 100 day challenge. Go figure. No one ever said I was the sharpest knife in the drawer.

[Mark.]

I prefer to stay away from the challenges. That's why I am doing the 100 day challenge. Go figure.

Oh, I don't think there needs to be a contradiction there, Cowboy. The 100 days is a "kickstart" challenge - you perhaps feel the need for a fixed-term challenge of that nature at the moment in order to kickstart your sober-engine so that you can get back to not counting days again once the challenge is complete and you've notched up some sober time again.

That's different to starting on First 7 Days on day 1 and working your way up through them all to the Beyond Palace.

It doesn't really matter which route you follow; it just matters that it works for you for as long as you need it to

Probably becoming accustomed to being a hermit, which suggests that I'll find the lifting of lockdown socially challenging.

I think this is going to affect quite a few of us here, D, as others have mentioned feeling the same thing. Cross that bridge when we reach it, I guess, but it is good to be giving it some prior consideration

[DannyD]

Failure to plan is planning to fail Mark? Not sure how to flex social skills.

[Cowboy]

Thanks JJ. So important to build that foundation of sober days.

[DannyD]

I'm in a contended place at the moment. Finally, just as the end of lockdown is in sight, accepted Not Going Out. And with the staying in, has come peace. Or maybe the reverse is true. Since I've stopped drinking (seems like forever, but it's really only been February), the angst caused by the highs and lows of alcohol, has faded. No complacency though please. I much prefer to be in this mindset, but I know how quickly the urge can take me.

[DannyD]

How quickly life can change. Thursday has been a very difficult and stressful day. I've vulnerable, helpless and slightly frightened because of an event that was out of my control. In the past (last month!) I'd have fallen into a bottle. Today, despite not knowing which way to turn, I've been trying to create order out of the chaos, and think things through. All sober.

[Mark.]

Today, despite not knowing which way to turn, I've been trying to create order out of the chaos, and think things through. All sober.

Well done, D. That sounds horrible. I hope today is a lot, lot better

[DannyD]

Thanks Mark. The problem is still there, but time has lent a distance to it. I don't feel quite so sideswiped as yesterday. Just have to gear myself up for a fight. Glad to be waking up sober though.

[DannyD]

Morning

Problem is still there, but looks solvable. So relieved to have been mostly sober, so I could cope with it all

[Mark.]

Problem is still there, but looks solvable. So relieved to have been mostly sober, so I could cope with it all

Excellent work, D

[Cowboy]

Ditto DD. Keep up the positivity.

[DannyD]

Ditto DD. Keep up the positivity.

Thank you for that Cowboy. I needed to read that today

[DannyD]

Love waking early, hearing the birds wake and watching the sun rise.

What a blessing it is, to be mostly sober

[Cowboy]

I couldn't agree more DD. It's just so nice to actually want to get out of bed and get on with your day.

Alcohol takes and takes doesn't it. Have a great day you.

[DannyD]

Well I've slipped. A slice of chocolate last night (which gave me a headache), and a tub of ice cream for pudding.

Tomorrow is another day.

[DannyD]

I am finding that I'm spending a lot of time sleeping. A lot. In conversation yesterday, I was advised that exercise releases endorphins which create more energy (well, that's what I took away from the chat). So I went for a 45 minute walk. Which promptly exhausted me, so I was fit for nothing for the rest of the day. Hmmmm.

Still mostly sober this week though.