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Mostly Sober

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DannyD
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by DannyD » 06 Jul 2020 19:36

Thanks for your support CB. Means a lot to me.

I think daughter is trying to tire me out. I'm certainly feeling exhausted now. Nearly fell asleep over dinner. But, I haven't the energy to even think about alcohol. Well, that's not strictly true, as I'm obviously thinking about it now, but I haven't the energy to DO anything about getting some.

Another day done.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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DannyD
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by DannyD » 07 Jul 2020 14:41

I've been visiting my daughter for a few days, going home tonight/tomorrow. I'm really scared, that when I'm home alone tomorrow, I'll give in and have a drink. Almost as though I've been very good all this time, so deserve a treat. This is non sense thinking, but I can't see my way around it. I want to tell myself that I'm not that weak, and don't need to give in - it's not inevitable. And the positive has to be that I'm forewarned, so not being side tracked. I can plan to avoid temptation. So. Perhaps a Mac Donald's, fish and chips AND a Chinese takeaway might fill me up and not leave room for anything else.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Mark.
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by Mark. » 07 Jul 2020 15:39

Food, glorious food - great plan, D ;)?

And you're right to have thought about it - forewarned is forearmed. But nothing, as you suggest, is foreplanned or foregone - you definitely don't have to give in to alcohol.

I agree with Cowboy's admiration ;)? <:)>
Nie chwal dnia przed zachodem słońca.

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Mark.
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by Mark. » 07 Jul 2020 15:57

I have just edited my post above to correct several appalling errors, the worst of which was leaving the word "don't" out of the sentence, "you definitely don't have to give in to alcohol."

I must be tired... (w) :oops: (w) <:)>
Nie chwal dnia przed zachodem słońca.

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Mountainhare
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by Mountainhare » 07 Jul 2020 16:37

Get the food in DD and maybe an early night. Come on, you can do it <:)>

Take it one day at a time. Just don’t drink today.
Self reflection, meditation and gratitude when logically interwoven provide an unshakeable foundation for living.

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DannyD
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by DannyD » 07 Jul 2020 20:20

Today is not the problem. Not looking forward to tomorrow. I'll be home alone again. And very tired, so I'm with you MH. An early night.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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DannyD
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by DannyD » 08 Jul 2020 05:07

And here is tomorrow. We'll be docking soon the sky is tinged red, promising lots of gasses in the air, but not many shepherd's dreams. I've a long thump south, and only got a couple of hours sleep, however, I can always find somewhere to pull in for a doze.

I feel a lot better about this evening too. Confident it'll be alright. Thanks for your support friends. <:)> <:)>
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Mountainhare
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by Mountainhare » 08 Jul 2020 05:11

Safe journey DD, watch out for that tiredness mate remember HALT

Get through tonight and you will be one step further to it getting easier. Keep going mate ;)?
Self reflection, meditation and gratitude when logically interwoven provide an unshakeable foundation for living.

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Mark.
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by Mark. » 08 Jul 2020 21:34

Welcome home, D, if that's where you are when you read this! <:)>
Nie chwal dnia przed zachodem słońca.

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Cowboy
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by Cowboy » 08 Jul 2020 22:51

Hoping you're OK DD. Take care.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

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DannyD
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by DannyD » 09 Jul 2020 09:41

Thanks friends. I blame tiredness, but ultimately, everything is down to me.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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DannyD
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by DannyD » 02 Aug 2020 07:04

Waking up after a bad night. Why? Too much chocolate leaves me with a horrible taste. Too much drink means I'm up every two hours. Moral. Continue to drink lots, but not after 1800. And don't eat chocolate.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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DannyD
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by DannyD » 23 Aug 2020 08:43

Yet again I'm trying to be mostly sober. I remember the determination, when I got through that year AF. That same determination is missing these days. In it's place is a sort of resigned desperation. I don't want to drink. But it's often a split second decision when I'm passing a shop at the wrong time. And I don't have the tools to cope with that. I'm weary of me, and the waste of drinking/recovering time - not to mention the waste of money. I want to be a better version of me. And I do desperately, want to lose weight. If I give up drink will I get lighter? It's doubtful, because I then crave sweet things, but if I join a dieting club and find impetus to eat properly, anything is worth a try.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Mountainhare
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by Mountainhare » 23 Aug 2020 09:11

I know where you are at Danny, I’ve been there where alcohol is concerned. It can be so hard to find the motivation and drive to get back on track after we go back to it. That insane split second ‘I’ll have a drink,’ it’s a kind of insanity that grips us and blots out everything else. It is seemingly impossible to ignore at times.

I would forget losing weight and anything else for now. The only way I’ve been able to make ground is to make sobriety my number one priority over and above everything else. Once we have a good amount of time sober we can then start to work on other aspects of our life we want to change.


I desperately want to quit smoking, but the same as you, that split second pull for just one keeps me addicted. Thing is I’m only just coming up to three months since my relapse and I have to prioritise that.

You have had long periods of sobriety before. You can do it again if you pull out all the stops, make it your number one objective and be prepared to do whatever it takes to get back on track.

Much love mate.
Self reflection, meditation and gratitude when logically interwoven provide an unshakeable foundation for living.

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DannyD
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by DannyD » 23 Aug 2020 11:07

thanks MH. Three months is awesome.

I'm on day to day and not thinking beyond today. Which isn't strictly true. I'm trying to set up daily activities which ensure I need to stay sober. Before Covid, I had an evening job. This meant (in theory), I stayed sober all day, to be sober for work. In reality, I then came home at 11pm and started drinking. I'm still on furlough, and without a reason to stay sober, have been very out of control. I'm trying to create daily physical 'reasons' to stay sober.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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DannyD
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by DannyD » 25 Aug 2020 21:41

I've had a lovely couple of days. I've spent them with friends, enjoying the last week of eat out to help out. By mid afternoon I'm feeling so full, that I'm practically spherical - rolling home has a new meaning. However, and strangely, my mind turns fleetingly to alcohol. So, despite the fact I couldn't eat another thing, I'm turning to chocolate. I'm very aware, that I'm fighting giving myself permission, so I hit the bottle in a flash in a few days time. I'm enjoying life at the moment, keeping busy and being social. And I want it to continue.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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DannyD
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by DannyD » 27 Aug 2020 09:36

Escaped yesterday with no drinking thoughts. I'm out later for a longish dog walk. I think I'll plan to get a burger on the way home. Not healthy, but distracting.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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DannyD
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by DannyD » 27 Aug 2020 18:36

I'm feeling cautiously happy. Brief drink thought. Huge tea of beef burger and chips. Now too full for anything. Result.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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pickles
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by pickles » 27 Aug 2020 21:22

Good one Danny ;)?

I hope you rest well tonight .
' Normal ' is just a setting on the washing machine .

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DannyD
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Re: Mostly Sober

Post by DannyD » 28 Aug 2020 07:15

Thanks Pickles. I'm sleeping ok - lots of dreams - but keep waking up with a head ache.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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