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Personal Goals

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Cliffe
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Re: Personal Goals

Post by Cliffe » 11 Feb 2019 09:06

Hi Goalies,

Yup, Seismic. It was easier on the evenings that my wife had a gin and a sherry, which I don't drink. It was harder when she had a large glass of Aussie Shiraz - but earlier that day we bought a small bottle of that specifically for her so that we wouldn't open a large bottle. I think the key is that we planned and bought what we'd drink just like we'd planned and bought what we'd eat (me: Nanny State). She never has more than one drink and has plenty of AF-days.

It's day 8 and I'm completely over the physical withdrawal symptoms. I'm enjoying the hangover-free mornings. I'm not sleeping well but that's not really a surprise.

My life is already better. I still plan to give moderate drinking a go next month but I'm conscious that it may be one of the worst decisions of my life and carrying on with abstinence has crossed my mind. Sort-of stumbling into this 28-day stint reminds me of when I stopped my daily cannabis habit in my early 20s. My area simply ran out and, after a tough week without it, I felt better to be out of the cycle and decided to keep off it. I had to change my circle of friends back then - they were essentially the town dopeheads. Ironically, one of my successes at that time was having the energy to go out to the pub rather than staying in smoking.

I hope we all have a good week.
Every time I see him put the bottle to his mouth he don't suck out of it, it sucks out of him until he's shrunk so wrinkled and yellow even the dogs don't know him. - Ken Kesey.

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Re: Personal Goals

Post by serend » 11 Feb 2019 18:39

Hi everyone, did a 4/3 last week, last night had too much and mixed the drinks. Before that would have meant back to daily drinks but am focusing on the positive (4AF days) rather than the negative. Goal for now is to control on drinking days and having AF days.
Reintroducing after 4 months fully AF made me a worse drinker at first than I was prior to abstaining, but works for some people.
Have a good evening all :)
It's not inevitable whether we drink or not...we make the decision

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kath
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Re: Personal Goals

Post by kath » 11 Feb 2019 19:03

Hi Everyone
Cliffe impressed with your 8 days, well done!

I’m having a horrible time atm. Covered in rash from my chin to my ankles. I can feel my face drying up and I’m worried it will be on there too soon. My skin feels like sand paper my arms and legs are a little swollen and my lymph node have swollen up. It’s painful and itchy. Got one hours sleep last night.
I know people go through much worse than this but I am feeling well and truly sorry for myself!!
The ww has been knocking at my door plenty but so far I’ve not answered it.
I’m on day 42 now.

Sorry not to be chatty I’m just dead on my feet!!!
one day or day one.

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Re: Personal Goals

Post by soberfun » 11 Feb 2019 19:49

Really sorry for you Kath especially when you don't know what is causing it.
I only managed a 3/4 last week. AF today though.
Good luck Goalies.

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Cliffe
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Re: Personal Goals

Post by Cliffe » 11 Feb 2019 20:04

Oh, Kath, that's rotten. Everyone was so supportive of me when withdrawal hit and we all are of you with what you're going through.
Every time I see him put the bottle to his mouth he don't suck out of it, it sucks out of him until he's shrunk so wrinkled and yellow even the dogs don't know him. - Ken Kesey.

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Ruby&Tilly
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Re: Personal Goals

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 11 Feb 2019 22:00

serend wrote:
11 Feb 2019 18:39
Hi everyone, did a 4/3 last week, last night had too much and mixed the drinks. Before that would have meant back to daily drinks but am focusing on the positive (4AF days) rather than the negative. Goal for now is to control on drinking days and having AF days.
Reintroducing after 4 months fully AF made me a worse drinker at first than I was prior to abstaining, but works for some people.
Have a good evening all :)
That's 4 days more than a lot of people Serend, so well done. (::)

Cliffe, I'm trying moderating too, I had almost 6 months AF and now I only plan on drinking on special occasions (every day with a Y in it :lol2: ) it is harder but I want to be able to let my hair down once in a while, going to see my sister on Wednesday and planning on having a few drinks with my meal. Good luck with whatever you decide. ;)?

Kath, so sorry your rash hasn't cleared up yet, maybe it worth asking for a dermatology referral? <:)> Congratulations on the 42 days, almost halfway. \:)/

Soberfun, like I said to Serend it's more days AF than a lot of people that don't think they have a problem and today's a new day. (::)

Seismic, keep on jogging!

46/3/300

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)

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Re: Personal Goals

Post by serend » 11 Feb 2019 22:29

kath wrote:
11 Feb 2019 19:03
Hi Everyone
Cliffe impressed with your 8 days, well done!

I’m having a horrible time atm. Covered in rash from my chin to my ankles. I can feel my face drying up and I’m worried it will be on there too soon. My skin feels like sand paper my arms and legs are a little swollen and my lymph node have swollen up. It’s painful and itchy. Got one hours sleep last night.
I know people go through much worse than this but I am feeling well and truly sorry for myself!!
The ww has been knocking at my door plenty but so far I’ve not answered it.
I’m on day 42 now.

Sorry not to be chatty I’m just dead on my feet!!!
Kath sorry I didn't see this earlier, this sounds terrible. Do you know what it is ? What have you taken? Is it an allergy?
thinking of you <:)>
It's not inevitable whether we drink or not...we make the decision

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Cliffe
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Re: Personal Goals

Post by Cliffe » 12 Feb 2019 09:46

Thanks, Serend.

How are you feeling today, Kath?

I know exactly how you feel, RnT. I'm currently not yet sure which way I'll go. I'm thinking of my first drink after these 28 days are up and if it's worth it. Is it necessary for me to have that drink? Obviously, no. Is it necessary for me to never to have a drink again? I think probably no. I think I need to know if I can moderate or not. I didn't hit rock bottom. I never got violent or got arrested. I'm reminded of how Adrian Chiles described himself in 'Drinkers Like Me': he never woke up in a shop doorway or an emergency ward.

I feel good right now. Not 'pink cloud' (thankfully as that's a state to be wary of) but I'm the best version of me that I've been for a long time. I'm not sleeping well but I never did when I was boozing anyway. I can, however, see my sleep improving in the long-term now whereas I used to just accept it as one of the prices-worth-paying for drink.

Other than sleep, I'm healthier. I'm loving not having hangovers. I'm loving not needing to get up at 3am. I'm a better husband. I'm far less likely to say something hurtful, stupid and regretful. I'm not ashamed about sneaking more booze. I'm saving money. I'm more patient. I like the fact that I can drive after 6pm if I need/want to. I've laughed at minor things that would have had me swearing last month.

I'm thinking more clearly. I've also now (finally) accepted the 'slippers' stage of my life - that a bath with relaxing music followed by an early night with a good book is a positive way to spend an evening.

If I'm, say, 100% better as a man with no drink, why would I swap that for being 75% a better man for a few drinks a week? Annie Grace wrote, "if you only drink on occasion and can 'take it or leave it', why not leave it?"

But I'm wary of commiting to abstinence at this early stage. I can't decide yet. How will I feel when the next major problem hits? How will I feel when it's the middle of summer and others are enjoying cold Chardonnay in the garden? How will I feel when I go back to my local, with a dog sleeping in front of the log fire, standing by the pump of my favourite ale and ordering a soft drink?

I'm conscious that I've written loads. Thanks for listening.
Every time I see him put the bottle to his mouth he don't suck out of it, it sucks out of him until he's shrunk so wrinkled and yellow even the dogs don't know him. - Ken Kesey.

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Ruby&Tilly
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Re: Personal Goals

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 12 Feb 2019 18:14

Cliffe, your post would look good on the 'things you notice when not drinking' thread. ;)? I agree there's many good things to being abstinent, I personally want the best of both, still not too sure if I can achieve it. Good luck with your journey anyway.

I've had 300 AF days since 13th April last year, lost count of how many drinking days since then.

Hope all you goalies are having a fantastic day. (::)

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)

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SoberBoots
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Re: Personal Goals

Post by SoberBoots » 12 Feb 2019 18:21

How will I feel when the next major problem hits? How will I feel when it's the middle of summer and others are enjoying cold Chardonnay in the garden? How will I feel when I go back to my local, with a dog sleeping in front of the log fire, standing by the pump of my favourite ale and ordering a soft drink?
Whenever I'm in any of those situations, I'm mostly just bloody glad I'm sober! I do, occasionally, want to spend a Sunday afternoon in the summer geeting meery with friends. But I've slithered down that wormhome soooo many times and I know where it (sooner or later) leads. Like you I don't know that I hit a "rock bottom". I never lost my job, my driving licence, a relationship (although sometimes booze WAS a factor), or had a serious health issue. I'm daily grateful that I managed to pull back when I did - lloking back over my like I feel that alcohol wreaked has quite enough damage as it is. I'm by no means a perfect person, but I'm definitely much better sober and I'm not prepared to compromise my hard won sense of self worth.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Cliffe
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Re: Personal Goals

Post by Cliffe » 12 Feb 2019 20:05

Thanks, RnT and Sober Boots.

I've brushed my teeth so I'm safely through day 9.

I...got a job! And I start on Monday.

My wife is out tomorrow evening. I'll be safely through day 10 when she gets home.
Every time I see him put the bottle to his mouth he don't suck out of it, it sucks out of him until he's shrunk so wrinkled and yellow even the dogs don't know him. - Ken Kesey.

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SoberBoots
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Re: Personal Goals

Post by SoberBoots » 12 Feb 2019 20:21

I...got a job! And I start on Monday.
Congratulations!
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Re: Personal Goals

Post by soberfun » 12 Feb 2019 22:46

Well done Cliffe.Good luck with your new job.
300 AF days is most of the year . Well done Ruby.
I agree Soberboots. It s that wine witch that keeps whispering lies in my ear.
Serend, you beat me last week with your 4 AF days.
Day 2 completed.
Hope your skin is improving Kath.

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Re: Personal Goals

Post by SoberBoots » 13 Feb 2019 07:22

Cliffe, I was thinking about you last night. It seems to me that maybe a way forward is to do a longer challenge? The often-recommended initial period is 100 days, as this does give a real chance for some recovery to happen, new habits to form, and for you to reflect on your relationship with alcohol.

Kath, that sounds really horrible. Wjat does the Dr think?
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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kath
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Re: Personal Goals

Post by kath » 13 Feb 2019 11:51

Cliffe like sober boots said I think 100 days would be a good goal for you.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words it really means a lot! After 4 months of my rash getting worse and worse I have finally had some help. Bad news being an insomniac and it turns out it’s an allergy to my sleeping tables and while I was itching away I was upping my dose of my sleeping tables doh!
Anyway I have table and cream an I can see some improvement although I’m still itching atm. And the bloody b@stard tablets side effects is insomnia ffs! So not slept for 2 weeks and now I have replaced my sleeping tables with insomnia tables... fun times.
Anyway it’s not meant to be another moaning message. The medication is working well and I think my skin will be back to normal in a few days, that’s what the doctor said and I have wanted to try and do without my sleeping tables for a while so this is just making that happen.

Sorry for the me me me post! Will interact better next time hopefully. Thanks again!
one day or day one.

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Re: Personal Goals

Post by Spats » 13 Feb 2019 22:08

Just want you on the road to recovery Kath. <:)> <:)>

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Re: Personal Goals

Post by soberfun » 13 Feb 2019 22:56

Thank Goodness you have an explanation Kath. You should get better soon.
Day 3 successful.
Good luck Goalies. ;)?

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Re: Personal Goals

Post by seismic23 » 14 Feb 2019 19:44

Cliffe wrote: But I'm wary of commiting to abstinence at this early stage. I can't decide yet. How will I feel when the next major problem hits? How will I feel when it's the middle of summer and others are enjoying cold Chardonnay in the garden? How will I feel when I go back to my local, with a dog sleeping in front of the log fire, standing by the pump of my favourite ale and ordering a soft drink?
big post Cliffe but write away. Booze is a crutch for me, no doubt about it. Tonight, nice sunset, down the allotment, beer accompaniment. Still on it later on.
Is the job what you want? Bit of a pause in the writing. Hope there's no anxiety issues over the weekend?

Kath, hope the itchy n scratchy show has got better.

I am very much not AF at present. Units lower, exercise up, weight today was lowest since Xmas, woohoo. But currently in a daily grind.

Shaving back my 1/2 Iron intentions, my colleagues have all gone for the Classic distance, so I'll join them on that event. More cameraderie I guess.
The answer is not to be found at the bottom of a bottle

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Cliffe
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Re: Personal Goals

Post by Cliffe » 14 Feb 2019 20:33

Thanks, SoberBoots, Kath and Seismic.

How are you feeling today, Kath?

Extending to 100 days (to May 14th) makes a lot of sense and I'm giving it a lot of serious consideration. Is this one of the ways it works? A week becomes 28 days which then becomes 100 days which extends to a year, etc.?

Seismic, the people I've met there seem nice which counts for a lot. I'm generally OK about the weekend and hotel stay. It's far better than the alternative of still jobhunting.

Someone I hadn't seen since last month told me today that I was looking healthier. Can this happen so quickly after just 10 days cutting down followed by 11 days off the booze?

I have a job. I had a productive morning of tidying. The sun was shining. And I'm looking healthier. I should have felt great but this afternoon just happened to be the hardest so far.
Every time I see him put the bottle to his mouth he don't suck out of it, it sucks out of him until he's shrunk so wrinkled and yellow even the dogs don't know him. - Ken Kesey.

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Re: Personal Goals

Post by soberfun » 14 Feb 2019 23:33

Day 4 AF. So better than last week.
Hi Cliffe I can't think too far ahead I feel it s too much pressure. I prefer a day at a time.
Well done Seismic on your new slender figure.
Best Wishes Goalies.

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