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successful cutting down?

Any tips or advice to prevent a relapse, alternatively any of your stories about your own relapses.
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Pork
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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Pork » 14 Apr 2019 06:03

You’re not so different you & I ruby 👍😎
Keep on flower 😎💪

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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 14 Apr 2019 06:24

Pork wrote:
14 Apr 2019 06:03
You’re not so different you & I ruby 👍😎
Keep on flower 😎💪
Got the same sense of humour too 💩 :D when's your holiday? I hoped to get a winter holiday but this court case is still ongoing, maybe next year. :evil:

Ruby XX
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)

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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Pork » 14 Apr 2019 08:10

27th so two weeks :D

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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by SoberBoots » 14 Apr 2019 09:10

Ruby&Tilly wrote:
14 Apr 2019 05:08
I'm greedy and want the best of both worlds, the default position is abstinence but I want to drink occasionally, definitely not every week (or month?), Just when I'm out with the girls or on special occasions. Definitely not to drown my sorrows. I look at alcohol as a slippery slope, I was pretty far down before I joined BE but from the last year I've clawed my way back up a bit, I don't ever expect to be at the top, ie a normal drinker. It does take a bit of planning, I buy small bottles if I'm drinking in the house, (hopefully) stick to 3 glasses of wine in the pub, neither of which gives me a hangover. I do crave for a day or two after but then it seems to get back to normal, I was at the theatre tonight and it never even crossed my mind, I've also had a few occasions where I planned to drink and decided against it as my friends won't be drinking, I certainly couldn't do that in the past. I hope I can maintain this but I want to try and I can also change my mind at any time should I feel it's getting out of hand. I know it's not for everyone, it's still early days but I feel more confident dipping my toe back in now.

Good luck to everyone in whatever they feel is right for them. ;)?

Ruby XX
Good luck with it Moira! I did manage to moderate for a few years by counting units. It crept up - I think that (apart from the progressive nature of addiction) the other problem was a lot of stress associated with an awful relationship break up with the love of my life. It sounds like you're planning to limit quantities and only drink on positive occasions, which is good strategy! I admit to being anxious for you, but hey.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 14 Apr 2019 14:55

Thanks for caring Sally, I certainly will be monitoring it closely and I think, if things go pear shaped, I will be able to go to back on the wagon, good luck with your own sobriety. ;)?

Pork, have a lovely holiday when it comes. (::)

Ruby XX
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)

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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Pork » 14 Apr 2019 15:04

Thanks Ruby. I’m not anxious for you or me 👍😎😜
Just just the lawns.
Cream crackered

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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 29 Apr 2019 06:16

Honestly i'm quite anxious for both of us pork, I really hope it works out for us Both, are you going back to abstinence after your holiday? I'm planning a few little bottles of wine at the Beltane festival tomorrow night, about 6 units. Just hope I can stick to it. Hoping to do may and most of June sober.

Have a great holiday. (::)

Ruby XX
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)

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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 01 May 2019 00:23

The Beltane Festival was fab, home now and just finishing off the last of the wine. Really pleased I managed to stay within my 6 unit limit, it helped that most of my friends weren't drinking and we left earlyish.

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Spats » 01 May 2019 07:09

Great news Ruby, so good you managed to keep your alcohol intake down (::) Seems that more and more people are looking to becoming sober ;)?

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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Melon5555 » 07 May 2019 06:09

Ruby&Tilly wrote:
01 May 2019 00:23
The Beltane Festival was fab, home now and just finishing off the last of the wine. Really pleased I managed to stay within my 6 unit limit, it helped that most of my friends weren't drinking and we left earlyish.

Ruby xx
Hi Ruby well done. This is something I’m thinking about rather that the total abstinence route. Seems less dramatic if it’s possible to do it. For now I’m giving up completely for a little while but feels good doesn’t it when you can have a great time and not be wasted ;)?

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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by SoberBoots » 07 May 2019 07:31

Melon5555 wrote:
07 May 2019 06:09
Ruby&Tilly wrote:
01 May 2019 00:23
The Beltane Festival was fab, home now and just finishing off the last of the wine. Really pleased I managed to stay within my 6 unit limit, it helped that most of my friends weren't drinking and we left earlyish.

Ruby xx
Hi Ruby well done. This is something I’m thinking about rather that the total abstinence route. Seems less dramatic if it’s possible to do it. For now I’m giving up completely for a little while but feels good doesn’t it when you can have a great time and not be wasted ;)?
Melon, if you can do a few weeks then set an initial goal of 100 days (there's a challenge thread for this). That's long enough to see some real recovery, form new habits, have a chance to reflect about your relationship with alcohol and how you want it to be, and make clearer decisions.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Melon5555 » 07 May 2019 11:57

Not a bad call that. Longest I ever went was 13 weeks and with a new job coming up soon that’s probably a very good idea 👍🏻

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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 07 May 2019 22:34

Cheers Spats, hope you're doing well too. (::)
Melon5555 wrote:
07 May 2019 06:09
Ruby&Tilly wrote:
01 May 2019 00:23
The Beltane Festival was fab, home now and just finishing off the last of the wine. Really pleased I managed to stay within my 6 unit limit, it helped that most of my friends weren't drinking and we left earlyish.

Ruby xx
Hi Ruby well done. This is something I’m thinking about rather that the total abstinence route. Seems less dramatic if it’s possible to do it. For now I’m giving up completely for a little while but feels good doesn’t it when you can have a great time and not be wasted ;)?
Hi Melon and thanks. :\: I was abstinent for almost 6 months (and about 9 months with a couple of blips) before I decided to reintroduce. It's true what they say that moderating is more difficult than abstinence, for me at the moment, it's worth it but I'm still not sure that I will be able to maintain moderation in the long term. It's something I need to keep a tight grip on.

Good luck with whatever you decide. ;)?

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
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Condor
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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Condor » 07 Sep 2019 14:28

Hello everyone here and well done to your efforts in reintroducing and moderation.

I read lots of posts on here last night and have been mulling over what I read ever since. If I’m completely honest, this thread makes me very nervous, 1. Because it’s tempting, 2. Because I’ve done it in the past and lots of what I’ve read on here echoes my own justification for being able to drink, so it worries me for other people.

Everyone is different and I wish all of you the best in your attempts and hopefully successes.
I’m still going to tell you my own experiences, just so you know. :lol:

I’ve convinced myself many times that I can drink moderately with self determined strict rules about where, when and how I would drink. I have managed to adhere to this pattern for long stretches and it certainly is more exhausting than total abstinence. I found that the short term relief that I could have a drink outweighed the problems associated with moderating myself. I’ve done this countless times. Every single bloody time though, it would end up getting way out of control while I was still thinking I was IN control. The last time I tried it, ended in my recent binge where I fell, lacerated my scalp, clearly ended up with concussion and had to endure horrible withdrawals.
It started out great. I’m a strong person but addiction doesn’t give a damn how strong you are, IT can always weaken you and IT is far stronger than any individual. I went on for months with my regimen and convinced myself I’d cracked it. Hey! I can control this shit easily. Then there was a small party, with alcohol in abundance. So, I’m doing great, I’m just going to let my hair down this one time and sort myself out tomorrow, so I did. The trouble was tomorrow didn’t arrive until over two weeks later after I’d found myself living in black space that entire time.

I’m not telling anyone this for my sake, I already know what happened to me for the umpteenth time.
I’m telling my story in sincere concern about any addicted person thinking about drinking again and I’m not targeting any specific person or persons. In my opinion if I can get just one lush to avoid this route I’ll be happy. I’m achieving nothing for myself in this so before anyone thinks up a cutting comeback to my post, please bear this in mind.

Peace and love to all. We all have to find things out for ourselves in the end. (w) <:)>
Only those who truly love you can see the pain in your eyes, while others see the smile on your face.

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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 07 Sep 2019 21:35

Hi condor, I'm sorry to hear about your problems with alcohol and thanks for your concern, I'm sure almost everyone on here could tell similar tales. <:)> At the moment I'm enjoying reintroducing, I'm on holiday and drinking moderately (every night). When I first started moderating I also had strict rules of what/why/when but now I'm much more laid back about it, I'm probably going back on the 100 day challenge when I get back from holiday, i see my default position as abstinence with the odd night out/in thrown in. I know it's still early days but, so far, I think its worth it. The major difference in my life is who/where I socialise, I've realised that I drank too much coz I wasn't enjoying going out with these people, now I go to the theatre with a teetotal friend, I rarely go to pubs unless it's to eat, I'm also a Witherspoon's fan lol. Sometimes it has gone a bit pear shaped but I'm no worse than many people on here, I just hope I can keep it up for the long term.

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)

Condor
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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Condor » 08 Sep 2019 19:38

I hope you can keep it up Ruby and if I’m honest, I wish I could but I know however long it takes, I’ll still go over the top eventually. I’ve always drank, it was all part of the party for me. I was always very gregarious and fun loving but it all got out of hand after two major tragedies in my life that I have never really recovered from.
I think you’re right that there are lots of people out there who make us feel more ‘normal’ when we witness their behaviour. I’ve often sat and thought of how many people I know who I would class as having a problem but who don’t see it for themselves.

If you met me you’d never believe the problems I’ve had and most people who know me are not aware. That’s the beauty of this forum, honestly, soul searching and off loading. Trying to encourage others makes me feel better about myself too. I like to know what other people are doing and saying.
Anyway, you’re right to chill right now, you’re on holiday! :D
Have a great time and don’t worry about a thing ;)?

Liz. <:)>
Only those who truly love you can see the pain in your eyes, while others see the smile on your face.

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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 08 Sep 2019 20:33

Condor wrote:
08 Sep 2019 19:38
I hope you can keep it up Ruby and if I’m honest, I wish I could but I know however long it takes, I’ll still go over the top eventually. I’ve always drank, it was all part of the party for me. I was always very gregarious and fun loving but it all got out of hand after two major tragedies in my life that I have never really recovered from.
I think you’re right that there are lots of people out there who make us feel more ‘normal’ when we witness their behaviour. I’ve often sat and thought of how many people I know who I would class as having a problem but who don’t see it for themselves.

If you met me you’d never believe the problems I’ve had and most people who know me are not aware. That’s the beauty of this forum, honestly, soul searching and off loading. Trying to encourage others makes me feel better about myself too. I like to know what other people are doing and saying.
Anyway, you’re right to chill right now, you’re on holiday! :D
Have a great time and don’t worry about a thing ;)?

Liz. <:)>
Hi Liz, I know I'm not normal, and that's my good points!, I wouldn't be here if I didn't have a problem, everyone's different like you said, when I first came to BE I could barely go a day without drinking but I've clawed my way up that slippery slope and, although I'll never be at the top, I'm doing much better now, I wouldn't go on the road to abstinence and recommend moderation and the same goes for cutting down, we all know it's a risk but it's one I'm prepared to take.

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)

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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Dilly22 » 09 Sep 2019 10:55

Condor wrote:
08 Sep 2019 19:38

If you met me you’d never believe the problems I’ve had and most people who know me are not aware. That’s the beauty of this forum, honestly, soul searching and off loading.
Ain't THAT the truth Condor.

I've done WAAAYYYY too much Off-Loading and Over-Sharing this morning on various threads and have revealed more to this bunch of people than I ever have to my nearest and dearest. I'm putting it down to the Truth Serum of Sobriety and I'm off for a long lie down in a dark room, with a cool flannel and my smelling salts.

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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Condor » 12 Sep 2019 13:31

Dilly, :lol2:

It’s very therapeutic to offload and reveal!!! I know it feels like you’re exposing yourself because I feel like that too because we seem to become attached to our friends on here, as we should! The truth is we are still anonymous really although we don’t feel it. Unless we venture out to meet each other in the ‘real world’, our anonymity is guaranteed. So blow your gasket whenever you feel like it :lol: It’s great to hear stuff from you, it makes you all the more real. <:)>
Only those who truly love you can see the pain in your eyes, while others see the smile on your face.

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Re: successful cutting down?

Post by Condor » 12 Sep 2019 13:36

Ruby, I’m sure you know what you’re doing and I’m sure you’ll know what to do if things go tits up, hopefully they won’t. I think you’re very brave a disciplined right now and I hope you’ll keep it up. Everyone needs to do what’s best for them. Xxx <:)>
Only those who truly love you can see the pain in your eyes, while others see the smile on your face.

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