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Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Any tips or advice to prevent a relapse, alternatively any of your stories about your own relapses.
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Boris Bike
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by Boris Bike » 11 Aug 2011 19:04

Gosh! You're really putting a lot of work into planning these future events, SilverGirl. It's impressive. I'm sure you are greatly increasing your chances of getting through it all AF. Excellent stuff. :)

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silvergirl
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by silvergirl » 12 Aug 2011 08:46

hi boris. yes, i am thinking about it, partly because i recently did 7 months sober then went out for an evening and lapsed, bigstyle. cue three months of near daily chaos later, and i think, oh! that wor a bit silly then. when i lapsed, i was completely unprepared, it hadn't even occured to me that drinking was on the cards, that it could even be an option. i hadn't given myself any pep talks simply because i didn't think they were necessary. i was wrong! i'm dragging myself back up, have nearly done a month sober now, and feel like drinking is history again, but, the little voices are certainly still there inside my head, and because my social life is going to get a lot busier than usual (i.e. nil!) i want to be prepared this time.

thanks for your comment, and i saw on another thread you've gone for the big bad day one. well done, that's an achievement, and i wish you all the very best of luck.

sgx
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~jon kabat-zinn

Jellybean
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by Jellybean » 12 Aug 2011 17:01

Hi Silvergirl, Your posts got me thinking about the future and what you do when everyones drinking and what you say when everyone around is on it and they know you have always been too.....and I'm thinking about people close to me who know I was always the cocktail loving one, thinking I'm in Sex in the City and all that malarky...and i'm just going to say I'm on a detox.....like I'm on a diet...and just say i'm off drinking for health reasons....and the calories. I'm hoping this is going to work because everyone's always prattling on about diets and Ive got a few friends who as bizarre as it sound sneakily don't drink on a night out because they don't like it and they don't want to put any weight on.
So I was just thinking of you and what you could say to get by......x

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silvergirl
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by silvergirl » 12 Aug 2011 21:44

thanks jellybean, that's a good idea. my mum was madly calorie counting when i saw her last (to be able to fit into her frock for the wedding..) so i might just act horrified at the very thought and say "do you *know* how many calories is in that glass of wine?!" :o heh. given that me mum also asked me if i was pregnant last time i saw her, this may well be accepted as an excuse!

sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

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Libelula
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by Libelula » 24 Nov 2011 17:21

Bump!!!

Funny to see SG's post there ... that was just before the day I thought I had stopped drinking for good, after a bad Saturday in Aug.

I have an evening ahead tonight where I think I might come under pressure to drink, so am just posting here as a kind of resolution.

I am still kind of bumping along trying to reach sufficient 'ignition sobriety' but last night it was a bottle of AF sparking wine after one small glass of wine, and nothing the night before, so I'm trying to keep on trying!

Lib x
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silvergirl
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by silvergirl » 25 Nov 2011 00:18

hi libby, that's a bit bizarre because i was thinking of you earlier on today, and wondering how you were doing. <:)> <:)> good to see you posting, and i understand only too well that ignition spark lacking. it seems so easy when we're on a roll, (well, sometimes it does...) but getting to the rolling stage can be immensely tricky. keeping on keeping on i guess.

hope you had a splendid evening, and that planning ahead helped. catch up soon i hope. <:)>

much love,
sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by ThisTimeGirl » 26 Nov 2011 07:12

So I have a leaving do to organise and attend on Weds. The person leaving is a heavy drinker (yes definitely has a problem, but we've never discussed it). Anyway, this is a tough group and historically the ones with whom I would get very trashed. I want to go (well I'm organising it so I have to be there) but i seriously don't want to drink but don't know if i will handle it.. Any advice welcome!!
"Sometimes I think about having a glass of wine with dinner. Then I remember I have plans for Christmas" - Robert Downey, Jr

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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by Grendelslip » 30 Nov 2011 00:32

Sorry if this sounds a bit glib - and I suppose it does - but can you not just go there and organize? Sorry, this really isn't helping - but maybe it could/should?

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silvergirl
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by silvergirl » 15 Dec 2011 20:48

Hope the works do was good Sally. <:)> I particularly like the thought that you can leave whenever you like, something I sometimes struggle with is that saying no is also a valid option.

Best wishes,
Sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

Tookie
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by Tookie » 17 Dec 2011 20:55

I can see this being an issue for me when I go home to Australia, whenever that is. Its not so bad while I'm in the U.K because I don't know anyone so there's no danger of bumping into mates who drag me to the pub or getting nagged to 'just have one beer'.
I'm planning on using this time alone to strengthen my resolve and find a new way of living so I have the strength to decline them when the time comes. Its going to be hard because most of my friendships back home pretty much revolve around drinking, but like has been mentioned before, if they are truly mates behind the drinking then the friendship should survive regardless and if they aren't well I guess they aren't worth it.
I've tried to quit before back home but my 'mates' think its a great joke and aren't supportive at all. I will tell them I'm not drinking and they will just put a large frosty pint right down in front of me, they think its hilarious. Pricks. I mean, really I shouldn't be going the pub with them if I'm trying not to drink so I've only got myself to blame for that.
But I figure now is the best possible time to stop, with so much new stuff to see. I love history and Museums etc. and there is no shortage of that in Europe, so I shouldn't want for stiumulation, once my motivation to get out and about comes back. I can feel it growing every day actually. I do feel the best I've felt in a long time right now and am enjoying my sobriety immensely, still I am wary of slipping up.
Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.

maryj
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by maryj » 22 Feb 2012 18:18

no ideas danny, but will be watching closely for other peoples, i've got a wedding in march, in ireland.
i was gonna let OH go on his own, but he is not keen, know it would be a nightmare, so any ideas would be helpful.

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NikDV
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by NikDV » 29 Feb 2012 07:38

Hi All, hi DD.

I've got a holiday next week and visiting my best friend. We used to get hammered together back in the day. She now has kids but in the evenings there will be temptation to have some wine together. Really don't want to and anxious that I'll crack.

Also my Dad is visiting and we also drink together so I'm anxious about that too.

Life really is much easier when I don't go anywhere or see anyone. I just posted on the 4 week thread that I had a dream last night in which I moved house to a remote location and was scared about being isolated from my friends so this is obviously becoming a concern for me.

Bit grumpy :(

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2XS
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by 2XS » 02 Mar 2012 12:27

I am attending a leaving do for a work colleague tonight down the local pub... guess I'll be driving then... even though it's walking distance ;)
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kevdan97
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by kevdan97 » 04 Dec 2012 16:41

Strangely, triggers for me are talking with my alcoholic mom on the phone, or my alcoholic aunt. They become irritated if they sense I am not drinking by my voice and attitude. Any advice on dealing with those triggers?

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Topcat
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by Topcat » 04 Dec 2012 16:54

Can you keep those conversations to the absolute minimum for the first few weeks Kev? Even blocking the calls if need be. Your sobriety has to be your number one priority.
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caroline95
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by caroline95 » 04 Dec 2012 17:08

Ooh, I'm an expert on this one!Years of drunk Mum phone calls till she died, now the same from my brother, though he's a lot better since we had words about it.

Some tricks of the trade I've used are - as TC says, not answering, or blocking calls if I'm really not up to it.Also timing them - ten minutes, then making an excuse to ring off.Writing a list of excuses and keeping it by the phone in case I'm taken unawares.

I now have a finely tuned antennae that tells me when the conversation is going to get maudlin/critical/boring, so I try and take control of the conversation, deliberately steering it away to safe subjects, like what's on tv/weather/any hobbies or interests that don't involve booze.

I'm thinking someone should write a book on how to deal with drunken phone calls!

Good luck kev, it's not easy but it is do-able.

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Topcat
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by Topcat » 16 May 2013 06:58

:lol: :lol: That SPAM is hilarious. Chicken gunya sounds like a takeaway :lol: :lol:
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Today is our most precious possession.

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bumpydog
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by bumpydog » 16 May 2013 07:04

That is funny! Best spam yet!
If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future you end up weeing on today...focus on today!

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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by Topcat » 16 May 2013 07:08

:lol: :lol: Wolfie :lol: :lol:
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Re: Plan ahead, be aware of dangerous situations

Post by bumpydog » 16 May 2013 07:21

Do you think the last line meant to say celery?
If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future you end up weeing on today...focus on today!

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