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Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Any tips or advice to prevent a relapse, alternatively any of your stories about your own relapses.
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Mike
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Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by Mike » 24 Jul 2008 15:47

I seldom get an original idea so this is unlikely to be one. I thought it would be a good idea to have a thread where we could post if we knew we were going to drink when we were trying to be abstinent.

If you are seriously thinking about having a drink, and you are supposed to be abstinent, before you go to the pub, before you set out for the off-licence, before you get the wine bottle out of the fridge, before you reach for the bottle of gin from the shelf, pause, post here to tell us about it and think again. Tell us what you are going to drink and why. Think about it for a few more minutes and if you are still determined to go ahead, go and enjoy your drink.

If by any chance you change your mind, come back here at the end of the day and post "I haven't had a drink today."

Drinking is usually premeditated, seldom so spontaneous that the opportunity to have a drink catches us unawares. Let's make use of the early warning and apply our ability to change the course of our lives.

Mike.
Last edited by Mike on 24 Jul 2008 20:19, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by Mike » 24 Jul 2008 22:23

High Hopes,

Thank you very much. I am always pleased to help. But at the risk of this turning into a mutual admiration thread, I should say that your recovery has been due to your determination and single mindedness. It may have been due in part to your unique ability to listen to advice, but you and you alone have transformed yourself into the super-confident BE member who daily dispenses such sound advice on the forum. I know you are enjoying your new sober life style. If I could raise a glass of champagne to you and wish you good health I would do so. Would you settle for a glass of cranberry juice instead ?

Love, Mike x

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by icarus » 25 Jul 2008 01:38

Hello!

This is a great thread idea. In staying sober, it has taken me to stay consciously aware of being present to not drink. Its kept me that way for almost 7 months. I know that when I felt the urge to drink, I had to stop and process my thoughts and that would take me back to the decision not to drink. I think that this is a good way to help people stay focused and not do things without thinking. I feel people will drink sometimes to excuse themselves of thought. This way, they can have a few moments to take a breather and really see what they are about to do.

I will stick around this thread if anyone needs a little feedback before they decide either way.


Its been a while!

Icarus

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by Mike » 25 Jul 2008 15:37

Group loyalty.

This is bound to go down like a lead balloon but lets give it a try.

When you are abstinent, who are you doing it for ? Yourself - right ?

Why are you on this forum ? Because you want help and advice, and you want to share experiences with others. Have you made friends on this forum ? Of course you have, lots and lots of friends <:)> <:)> <:)> <:)> :D
Do you feel a sense of loyalty to your friends on Bright Eye ? Maybe. What, only maybe after all those hugs ?
Have you ever played a team sport ? Well I played for the local rugby club. Did you really ? So did I !
Do you think the forum feels like a team ? Well do you ?

So the next time you are walking across the pub toward the bar with alcoholic intentions, don't just think of letting yourself down. Think of how disappointed all your friends at Bright Eye will be for you. Then at the last minute you can change your mind and order a soft drink instead of a beer. Sorted.

All I can say is it works for me. I haven't had a drink today.

Is this an AA thing ? No, I've never heard it mentioned at meetings. I think some people do develop loyalty to the group but that can happen in any sphere of life. In this scenario I think we can make use of any allegiance we may feel to BE.

Mike.

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by byron » 25 Jul 2008 18:40

Hi Mike and Jos <:)> <:)> <:)>

Actually goes for me to - I enjoy logging on to BE and seeing my friends - great - I am a people person and really enjoy getting to know people. When I have wanted a drink Ive often thought 'what would I tell the guys on BE' :shock: - does it for me.

<:)> <:)> :lol: i had to many smilies...b@@locks :lol:
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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by MDS1 » 25 Jul 2008 19:50

Nice Post Mike,

A very good Idea. Rest assured- if I feel the wheels falling off my sobriety, I will post here and hope the positive responses will help me regain control over the self inflicted insanity of alcohol abuse. Which for me is that first drink.

Nice one mate!

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by icarus » 26 Jul 2008 09:23

Post as much as you like!! We are rooting for ya! <:)> <:)> <:)> <:)> <:)> <:)> <:)> <:)>

Icarus

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by MDS1 » 27 Jul 2008 10:53

Time to 'Fess up....

I am really struggling this morning, I mean REALLY. I am on day nine, at this time counting the money in my change pot (preparation Mike-so true) I am about to wander over the local Co-Op, get a bottle- and have a serious session with the Captain.

That's rich isn't it! try to give advice to others.... and consider wrecking my own sobriety on a whim. :shock: Well I say a whim, I have tried a few diversionary tactics so far this morning, I awoke early to a beautiful sunny morning, watched the mist rise, listened to the dawn chorus- and thought it's good to be alive.

Immediately thought.... lets have a bloody good swally, "you deserve it".

What sort of shyte is that for cliff's sake?

Gonna listen to some music, read a few old posts.... incorporate a couple of 'delay' walks by the river, phone a friend, pay a bill or two (post dated cheques of course) and try to hold on.

Thanks for reading.... wheels on the wagon very wobbly!

Duane xxx

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by MDS1 » 27 Jul 2008 13:40

Thanks Darcy,

Actually, consulting my diary- it's day 10.

Been for a long walk, nipped over to the Gym to see a mate of mine (he's competing in september) tried to give him the big up's on how good he looks.... got extremely agitated with myself driving back, don't know why.

Bought two 500ml tubs of Ben &Jerry's Ice cream, scoffed the lot, said 'boll@cks to the old suitcase' several times (thanks Anna)- and consulted my 'toolbox' to see what other tools i can find to keep the Captain at bay.

I have no shaggin' idea why I am struggling so much today, weird isn't it?.

lets get through the next twenty minutes.......

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by MDS1 » 27 Jul 2008 13:55

Of course Darcy (btw i loved the avatar of the raven haired beach-babe!)

PM on its way with 'destructions' on little piccy posts <:)>
Marcus Duane Stokes with the IQ of One

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by byron » 27 Jul 2008 15:54

Hi Duanne

I have those days to - very much in the early weeks - sometimes not drinking made me feel like climbing the walls with frustration- - one miserable day I remember I was a total bitch to be around - did all the delay - distraction things but still struggled so much- just had to take it in really small chunks. That day felt like a week but it ended - I went to bed without having drunk anything and woke up the next day just so thankful I got through - it was a very close call . Actually I think I remember being a total bitch for a good few weeks :oops:
There were more days like that but each time it got easier to get through - It does get easier but no espcaping how hard it is now.

Good luck for the next twenty mins.

Julie
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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by Mike » 27 Jul 2008 16:42

Well done Duane.

You used the thread just as you said you would. You were planning a tete a tete with the Captain, but dumped him for a session with Ben & Jerry instead. How very sensible - not like you at all ! Only joking with my old buddy Duane. Think how much better you will feel this evening when you can report "I haven't had a drink today ". Good on you mate.

Cheers, Mike.

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by chrissie » 27 Jul 2008 18:56

I haven't had a drink for 14 days. This is the first time I have given up drinking and admitted it was getting out of control. I am thinking about getting a bottle of wine for tonight to share with my OH once our son has gone to bed. I think I want to see if I can control my drinking.

Chrissie xx
one day at a time

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by chrissie » 27 Jul 2008 19:31

No, the only things in are beer, whisky and brandy, none of which I drink, nor have I ever been tempted to. I do sometimes strat on vodka, port or gin when the wine runs out but haven't any of those - poured away the vodka when I stopped drinking two weeks ago.

I think I can do controlled drinking, but get a bit worried when I read lots of things by other people who say they can't do it. maybe I can't either.

Chrissie xx
one day at a time

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by chrissie » 27 Jul 2008 19:55

Hi Jos

I guess it is about last night. And the fact that I don't want to be someone who can never have a drink. I want to be someone who can control it.
one day at a time

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by MDS1 » 27 Jul 2008 20:59

Thanks for your support Folks......

I was just a nit on a gnat's knacker away from getting trolleyed.

Phew! Managed to abstain so far- went to a secluded spot I adore out in the wilds, gave meself a stern talking too and observed the wonder of Mother Nature, quietly, on my own.

Opened the ole 'toolbox' and got out a new tool- the chisel that says "The Captain was never a friend- he just wanted you to fail, and convince you its alright"

W@nker. ;)

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by CandyGirl » 27 Jul 2008 21:15

well i want a drink right now arhhhh im not doing well this week am i :x
Sarah

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by MDS1 » 27 Jul 2008 22:11

Sarah,

Yes you are doing well, because you are able to talk about it. We all slip up, have little bumps along the way, sometimes we totally blow it..... I very nearly did today. I knew that one Bottle wouldn't be enough- I was in the mood for a right proper bender, and sod the rent. So close.

I hope you will be back on later Sarah, to chat and share your feelings (only if you want to of course) and if you have had a drinkie or seven, that doesn't matter.

When I first joined BE, I was permanently semi-sozzled, and chatting to others here, sharing our individual experiences helped me no end. I hope it may help you too, in whatever you want to achieve, sobriety is not the only option.

Cutting down may be the answer for you right now, or even drinking with reckless abandon! the choice is yours, and yours alone Sarah. Dont get angry with yourself, it will not help.

Hope you dont mind me saying this :)

Duane xxx

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by Mike » 27 Jul 2008 22:27

Hi Duane and Hi Sarah,

Great to see you both on this thread. This is the safety valve thread. When you feel a head of alcohol steam building up, the idea is that you release it on here. It worked already today for Duane and it can work for you too Sarah. I hope you come back tonight too Sarah. No pressure (just steam, which you generated ). You are feeling the same pressures this evening Sarah which Duane dealt with in such a masterly fashion earlier today. He demonstrated that it can be done.

Mike.

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Re: Please post here if you are planning to drink.

Post by MDS1 » 27 Jul 2008 22:43

Thanks Mike, appreciate it! (I dont think I was in any way masterly !!!) just a 'dry drunk' struggling for a day.

Sarah I think is the opposite of me. I was always a morning drinker- doors opened for me at 08:30 am. Right after school run. Boys safely at school- time for Duaney's stiffener. :shock:

Steady drinking all day, what a waste of life.

Sarah is a late night drinker (i think) which perhaps is more difficult. Evening drinking is somehow more 'normal' and generally accepted. Caning the Rum early doors is not exactly condoned by anyone.

Anyway, hitting the Gym in the morning, it's legs tommorow- a few heavy squats will put things in perspective, especially as I wont be stinking like a distillery ;)
Marcus Duane Stokes with the IQ of One

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