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Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Any tips or advice to prevent a relapse, alternatively any of your stories about your own relapses.
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Tybler
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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by Tybler » 13 Nov 2013 15:06

Good Morning (here in the US),
I've been jumping around on this site and have seen some indications of a 'Ten minute' or 'one hour' challenge, but don't see anything specific about those anywhere.
Can anyone help me with this?
thanks!
Thanks,
Tammi (Tybler)

jaxom5

Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by jaxom5 » 13 Nov 2013 15:24

I'll give it a go Tybler. There are no ten minute or one hour challenge threads. It is a technique for dealing with cravings. Imagine that you start the day with every intention of not drinking today. Then the whinging, whining voice starts and you get the overwhelming urge to drink. The end of the day seems so far away. So, you can say to yourself: 'I may or may not drink later but I will not drink for the next hour' or 20 minutes, or ten, or five, whatever. The idea is that you put off that first drink by however short a time. Then, when you have done that and know you can do it - you do it again. The thing about cravings is that they seem endless when we are in the midst of it but they always pass as long as we do not drink.

A similar technique is to set about a short task and promise yourself you will not drink until it is done. Then set yourself another task. In beating these short periods of abstinence we gain practise and confidence in tackling longer periods. Sometimes one day at a time is too long so break it down into manageable chunks.

One of the great mantras is 'It does get easier in time'. It is true. Minutes become hours become days become weeks become months become years. Still working on that last one mind you but .... who knows.

Dave

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Tybler
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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by Tybler » 13 Nov 2013 15:29

jaxom5 wrote:I'll give it a go Tybler. There are no ten minute or one hour challenge threads. It is a technique for dealing with cravings. Imagine that you start the day with every intention of not drinking today. Then the whinging, whining voice starts and you get the overwhelming urge to drink. The end of the day seems so far away. So, you can say to yourself: 'I may or may not drink later but I will not drink for the next hour' or 20 minutes, or ten, or five, whatever. The idea is that you put off that first drink by however short a time. Then, when you have done that and know you can do it - you do it again. The thing about cravings is that they seem endless when we are in the midst of it but they always pass as long as we do not drink.

A similar technique is to set about a short task and promise yourself you will not drink until it is done. Then set yourself another task. In beating these short periods of abstinence we gain practise and confidence in tackling longer periods. Sometimes one day at a time is too long so break it down into manageable chunks.

One of the great mantras is 'It does get easier in time'. It is true. Minutes become hours become days become weeks become months become years. Still working on that last one mind you but .... who knows.

Dave
Thank you Dave that IS very helpful, and my issue seems to be when I get home from work, first thing I do is make a drink. I'm going to try this tonight and see how long I can keep it up. Thanks again! Tammi :lol:
Thanks,
Tammi (Tybler)

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Tybler
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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by Tybler » 14 Nov 2013 18:52

Hello out there - any advice anyone can provide about how to avoid drinking tonight would be greatly appreciated. this will be my first attempt at 2 days without drinking after work in about a year and a half....not sure what/how to do it.....help?
thank you
;)
Thanks,
Tammi (Tybler)

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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by Tybler » 15 Nov 2013 00:58

Envy wrote:Hey tybler, I always had a big evening meal and had plenty of water. Try watching a movie or reading a good book. That's all I got, hope it helps. Sometimes we need to just grit our teeth and get through it. Also google urge surfing. All the best!
I thank you Envy for stepping up and offering some great ideas. I guess I'm a bit confused, I thought this sight/forum was for those of us 'on the edge' to be able to reach out and talk to someone to get back down form that 'edge' and continue on sober, as they want to be.
to be honest, I have not seen much support here yet, perhaps i am mistaken in my assessment of what I thought this website could provide to those of us trying to abstain/cut down, or whatever .

Am I crazy, or have I not interpreted the site as I should have?
Thanks,
Tammi (Tybler)

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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by Melanie961 » 15 Nov 2013 02:00

()o
Last edited by Melanie961 on 15 Nov 2013 15:56, edited 1 time in total.

jaxom5

Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by jaxom5 » 15 Nov 2013 06:08

Hi Tammi. Have you had a look at The First 7 Days challenge? It is for people who have challenged themselves to abstain for a week. Most who make it through go on to further challenges. Even if you don't want to join in it is well worth reading. It will give you an insight into how hard it is, how people cope in their different ways and also show that it can be done.

If you don't feel ready for going a fixed time without drinking then the Regrouping may be a good place to post/read.

Both of those threads are very busy, much more so than this one, so you will likely find them more supportive.

Dave

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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by DannyD » 15 Nov 2013 08:27

Sorry Tybler. We're not deliberately ignoring you. This thread is a bit quiet. Envy has already suggested the SOS thread, and Dave has advised the challenge. There's always the Wobble Board if you need immediate support for a wobbling moment.

Good luck.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by Tybler » 15 Nov 2013 16:07

Thanks for the replies, unfortunately, I did give in again last night and really hate myself at the moment. I apologize for my post, ever hear of drunk texting or drunk facebooking? Geesh - I really need to work harder at this - as you all have suggested.
Also - thanks for the tips on which threads seem to be more busy, i'm still learning about this forum....
Thanks,
Tammi (Tybler)

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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by DannyD » 15 Nov 2013 16:10

Tammi don't hate yourself, rather hate the alcohol. Now, how are you going to cope tonight? Home, big meal, lots of AF drink? You can do this.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by DannyD » 19 Aug 2019 09:53

Thanks Mark!
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by Mark. » 19 Aug 2019 10:08

No worries, D ;)? I've been enjoying reading back through this thread - I hope it's useful!
Nie chwal dnia przed zachodem słońca.

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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by Rose13 » 25 Nov 2019 11:35

I really want to give up alcohol but the cycle thing is my main problem. I get to day 3 or 4 and I have a drink :roll: I don’t know why as I make the promise to myself and I post on the 7 day thread but I still cave at day 3/4. I don’t think I’m scared or nervous about the journey to abstinence and it’s not the social situations I just get to the point where I’m like ‘oh sod it I’ll have a drink! I’m not going to be able to stop for good anyway , I’m not strong enough so I’ll just have some wine’ aghhh
So I’m trying again .... had a good chat with OH last night (after having a go at him) so he knows I’m struggling!
I was reading through earlier posts! I like the pj’s idea!! Do you think it might work with a onesie? If I get into a onesie when I got home from work! We ours it stop me wanting a glass of wine! It’s worth a try. I think I cooking doesn’t help with me either. I start cooking and open a bottle...
maybe ready made meals for the first week or two!
Any other ideas welcome! 5-7 in the evenings around day 3 guards up!

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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by SoberBoots » 25 Nov 2019 12:04

Have you tried working through one of the Aleen Carr Easy Way books? He's quite good on that relapse issue. It's really, really common to relapse after 3/4 days, I wrestled with it for a long time, so it's not just you <:)>
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by Rose13 » 25 Nov 2019 12:56

Thanks Sober Boots!! I have an Allen Car book which I read about 6 or 7 years ago so a reread is definitely in order. I was actually telling my OH about a book I bought ‘Tired of thinking about drinking’ so planning to read that too. To be honest I need all the help i can get as although I accepted I had a problem quite a few years ago I have never quite cracked this sober thing ! I have beginning to try and work out why, when , where ,with whom I drink and it’s definitely more of the when with me! If that makes sense and it’s a habit more than anything. I’ve only every been sober as long as 6 weeks and in that time I really did get out of the habit ! I went from thinking about a drink every hour of every evening in the first week and then i gradually stopped thinking about it all the time and by week six i could go a whole evening without thinking about it!

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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by Rose13 » 25 Nov 2019 12:56

Thanks for listening Sober Boots <:)>

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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by SoberBoots » 25 Nov 2019 13:31

Well that's encouraging Rose. You can see for yourself that it's possible to break the habit. You may have read this before, too, but I like it and think it's worth going back to: http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot. ... ourse.html
It's good to revisit books and techniques. Often something that didn't stick the first time around will on another go - water's passed under the bridge since and our perceptions have changed.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by Cowboy » 25 Nov 2019 14:09

You can do this Rose.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by SoberBoots » 25 Nov 2019 14:34

Cowboy wrote:
25 Nov 2019 14:09
You can do this Rose.
So can you, sir. I firmly believe we all have the capacity to recover. Sometimes struggling precedes a breakthrough.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Re: Breaking the cycle/gaining traction

Post by Rose13 » 25 Nov 2019 20:21

Thanks guys! I think I have seen that blog mummywasasecretdrinker ;)?

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