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How to say no to a drink

Any tips or advice to prevent a relapse, alternatively any of your stories about your own relapses.
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Andy
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Andy » 17 Jun 2010 09:05

Worked a treat :-)

Just a word of caution though, if you fail on the not smoking your excuse for not drinking will also be blown so only use if you are confident of staying of the fags :-)

Andy
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George
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by George » 19 Jun 2010 17:01

I think that I'm a little different to the great majority of folk that I've come across. I only have one way, one effective way that I am comfortable with to say no to a drink. I look them in the eye and say "No thanks, I'm an alcoholic, I don't drink". It works for me and kills all problems dead and if I can get a cup of coffee out of it then it's a bonus <:)>
“Now I’m sober and I realize, I didn’t drink to escape the world, I drank to escape myself”
― Phil Volatile, Crushed Black Velvet

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Mike
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Mike » 19 Jun 2010 21:00

Good answer Dode.

Mike

Midnightson
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Midnightson » 20 Jun 2010 09:45

Nice one George - love it!!

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Bela
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Bela » 20 Jun 2010 14:36

Well, there's no and hell no!
But I more often say "No thanks, I'm not drinking much these days" . . . . well I am not drinking at all but serves the same purpose. In a larger gathering, I sometimes say "Not right now . . " and offerers rarely ask again, and if they do I just say, "No, I'm ok."

Your way sounds most effective George. :D
Whatever works.

Cravings stop going where they aren't fed.

richardfoley
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by richardfoley » 15 Aug 2010 12:57

Surely the easiest cop-out is to say:

"I'm allergic to alcohol".

Although personally, I would not shy away from explaining there is a problem if need be, but there's sometimes no need to explain, and sometimes people simply aren't interested or don't have the time to hear the whole story. The "allergic" response is also a perfectly valid one: "alcohol has unwanted side-effects for me" => allergic.

Rich.
Richard Foley - trying to stop.

http://www.rfi.net

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sweenzo
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by sweenzo » 15 Aug 2010 13:02

I'm on antibiotics
There is the known and the unknown and in between are the doors.

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Andy
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Andy » 15 Aug 2010 13:28

I like the "I'm allergic to alcohol" one, but not sure how well it would hold at times, particularly people that know you from before!

"I'm on antibiotics" or variations on the theme are 1 of the old favourites, only has a short shelf life though, but can be extended by I felt so good after 2 weeks off the booze though I'd try it for a bit longer! Thing to do if you are using that is make sure you have an answer for the question what's wrong!! most people won't ask but if someone does best to be prepared.
Journey started 22-Feb-10.

Beverley
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Beverley » 15 Aug 2010 13:35

I just say I'm on GI eating plan which does not allow alcohol as it ruins the blood sugar levels and benefits and it's part of my fitness plan for now.

it's what I told my neighbours when I was invited for an afternoon glass of wine. Well it is true and they just gave me a coffee, end of problem.
Every moment is a gift - that's why it's called the present

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DawnLouise73
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by DawnLouise73 » 15 Aug 2010 14:41

Haha! That was a good one, Joanne, I'd love to use it :D
The only reason we fail is to learn how to pick ourselves back up

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supersonja
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by supersonja » 12 Oct 2010 21:18

When I was at college doing my chefing lvl 2 I coudnt always try things (& ur ment to try everything all the time) coz the alcohol wasnt cooked out. One day I told my chef I was a alcoholic , he just looked blank at me and then carryed on like he didnt here me :shock: I didnt really mined :lol: I was confused but I think its becasue im only 23 he might have thought im over exaggerating. When I passed he took me and the others out for a meal and I thought this will be ok as he knows ... then the time came and he ternd to me red or white sonja .... I was shoked... I said I dont drink chef... he said not at all :shock: ... NO!!! Lol :lol:
“Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.”

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AlexT
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by AlexT » 23 Oct 2010 21:29

Interesting thread reading everyones excuses

I think in the early days ive found on my last quit attempts that you tend to feel a bit raw and low on will power so if people keep harrassing you (it usually goes like this 'god dont be stupid what are you talking about you are not an alcoholic you wally, go on just have a beer with me' etc etc etc etc) you are likely to cave in. So the most effective way which tends to avoid questions is the old 'i cant im on antibiotics, ive got kidney stones'...trouble is if your friend is drunk then nothing it seems like kidney stones become a real interesting topic so then you have to spend half an hour talking about what your imaginary illness feels like :roll: :lol: :lol:

I think after a few weeks when your confidence is stronger then definately opt for the 'i cant drink im an alcoholic'. I think thats what I will be aiming for

Good luck and remember those kidney stones! ;)
x
reforming weekend alcoholic and music lover
http://www.artizanmusic.co.uk

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Bela
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Bela » 23 Oct 2010 21:53

Strange mood, Jo?
Sounds mysterious . . . . . . care to say more?
Whatever works.

Cravings stop going where they aren't fed.

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Bela
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Bela » 23 Oct 2010 22:04

well we can do with more of that, then ;)?

I typically these days when asked if I want a drink just say, no thanks or I think I'll pass.
Sometimes its maybe later, or not right now.
Not very often do I get asked the second time and when that happens it seems more that people are bring polite rather than pushy.

I must confess that I might have stumbled last Saturday had I been asked the second time, as I think the old addicive voice was doing a number on me. But I was not asked a second time, so luck was with me.
Whatever works.

Cravings stop going where they aren't fed.

Bubbysmum

Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Bubbysmum » 23 Oct 2010 22:54

MY LIVING WILL:
Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

They got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.

;)?

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Andy
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Andy » 23 Oct 2010 23:18

:lol: :lol: Bubbysmum :lol: :lol:
Journey started 22-Feb-10.

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london bloke
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by london bloke » 24 Oct 2010 00:42

like it, bubbysmum
Alcohol = Anxiety: I have suffered for years.
Sobriety = Freedom: I have tasted freedom, and I want it more.


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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by singlemum » 02 Nov 2010 07:51

Hi there,

I have a real problem, or so it seems, and realised this morning that despite my good intentions to not allow this to happen, that it is and I need some help quite urgently.

I have really gotten myself together where drinking is concerned, I had pretty much stopped drinking altogether, had moved house and just accepted that a quieter life was the key to my sobriety.

Then (and as a part of my whole new-me trip) I started a college course. The first few weeks were okay but then, gradually, the group started to bond and most of that bonding is done down the pub. The course has been going for about six weeks and in the last four, I have missed two days each week from going down the pub and then coming home and continuing to drink.

My fellow students have one drink and then go home. They are all much younger than me and whilst I really, really like the fact that they are including me in the group, this is not doing me any good at all.

What's the matter with me? Why is it that the minute I'm expected to be 'friendly' I have to have a drink in my hand? The quiet life thing manly involved me keeping away from anyone, which works for me but I don't want to be someone who has to be alone forever because they are too stupid or insecure or something to just be themself without having a leg up from the 'death juice'.

Last night I didn't actually go traight home. No I stopped at a bar at the station and spent around forty pounds (I'm broke and have three kids to feed and Christmas coming up) sitting talking to complete strangers about some rubbish that I can't remember now and when I did finally get home, topped it all off by sending my (very serious) course tutor some ridiculous email that I daren't even open again because I'll cry.

What is wrong with me? Am I scared of people, frightened to be liked? What? If anyone has any advice, I desperately need it as this must not continue so I don't know if anyone has had this ort of experience, please, please can you help?

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Duncan
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Duncan » 02 Nov 2010 09:05

Hi SingleMum,

I've been there, craving company and social interaction and you're not alone with the "can't just have one" thing, society pressures us into having that first drink and when like us we have issues with stopping then it's a slippery slope. Why not set a boundary for the pub visit, say you can only stop for one because you have to get back for the kids or to walk the dog (he's probably busting for a pee right now so can't be long), then just have a soft drink ( alcoholic drinks make you want to pee when walking the dog, blah blah blah ), this way you will get some social interaction and have a pre set reason to leave. Imaginary pets are OK for this exercise

We've all done the drunk text / email or facebook post, quick fired apologies work for me and save me stewing on it all day.

Be gentle with yourself and well done for sharing.
Duncan

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