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How to say no to a drink

Any tips or advice to prevent a relapse, alternatively any of your stories about your own relapses.
singlemum
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by singlemum » 02 Nov 2010 09:20

Thanks Duncan.

I really want to apologise but feel that I might actually make it worse (never apologise, never explain!) my general tactic is to blow right by it and pretend it never happened.

I just hope I don't get kicked off the course, I'm not going to go to the pub anymore with them, it's just not worth it.

I hope though, that it isn't already too late. :cry:

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Aaron.A
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Aaron.A » 02 Nov 2010 16:49

I was in the same boat as you single mum when I returned to college recently, not to seem the total outcast I joined the younger students at the pub after college. And despite telling them I only drank coke soft drinks were not in their vocabulary. So I either had to tell them I was a raving alcoholic or drink up, needless to say I took the easy option. And although I can easily only drink one pint in a pub ( I prefer my drinking somewhere private and alone) once I got home I would drink myself stupid. Of course the nest day I would be to ashamed to go into class sweating alcohol through the pores of my skin the next day.
I finally decided that the only way I was going to pass my course was to put my foot down and stop going to the pub. I had to remind myself that I am here to further educate myself and it was drinking at the pub after college 10 years ago that started me on this slippery drink soaked slop in the first place.
It's been a while since i could stand on my own two feet again

Tink
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Tink » 02 Nov 2010 17:02

How about saying...
Been there done that and I had my fill of drinking days. I never touch the stuff now days as I really don't like that feeling now. I suppose it just ain't for me but I have a great time being sober. Heeeeeeeeeee. Laugh about it and order a Coke.
I too am gonna go back to school. Can't wait. Very excited. Reading this just made me think about future situations and what I might do or say? One thing I might enjoy making some new friends but truly I am the older and wiser hopefully one and won't go letting some kids lead me astray. Haaaaa :lol: I plan to be the older wiser and fun one for them and just enjoy their youthful energy. I know that time is past for me and I like being my own age. I like watching them be young though. Keeps me young inside. We can learn so much from the youths and they from us. Keeping in mind though that you are mentors and not kids will help. WE all have been there done that. We know that is the start for some of them as it was for us. They can learn more at the Uni than just books and they can learn it from your example. They will learn to respect you and themselves if ya use that experience wisely? No matter how we want to go back we cannot. What we can do is to be ourselves. Let them see the future can be good and getting older can be an adventure. Being productive, fulfilling our goals, never ceasing to grow and being open to new things. That someday they will have to be mentors and show them how by doing it yourself. Not preaching to them but just how you carry yourself and deal with it all. I am sure they will be interested in your experiences as being there at the Uni they are hungry for knowledge. Keep it simple, humorous and have fun. We no longer are the followers but the leaders ya know?
Good to see ya Aaron <:)> ;)? .
Tink
Life is a journey not a destination. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.

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Aaron.A
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Aaron.A » 02 Nov 2010 17:13

Good evening tink <:)> an excellent point

If I want to say say no to a drink I should remind myself how much I have spent at the pub over the last 12 years, £20k....£25k... maybe even £30k :o
It's been a while since i could stand on my own two feet again

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freedom1
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by freedom1 » 02 Nov 2010 17:27

Great post, tink! (::) May apply to lots of other situations.. not just to college

And what are you off to study? How exciting!
"Let me respectfully remind you,
Life and death are of supreme importance.
Time swiftly passes by and opportunity is lost.
Each of us should strive to awaken. . .
. . . awaken,
Take heed. Do not squander your life."

Tink
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Tink » 02 Nov 2010 19:13

I will give ya three guesses? ;) 8-)
No, not a drill Sergent.
No, not a prison guard.
No, not a professional female wrestler.
No, not that either. :shock:
I want to be a ...........
yep, addiction (acohol) counselor when I grow up :D :ugeek: . I will make sure to have plenty of tissues at hand. Haaaaaaaa.
Maybe with the right tools and answers from college I will get better at this? :roll: :D <:)>
Life is a journey not a destination. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.

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Bela
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Bela » 03 Nov 2010 01:13

Tink, are you SURE it's not a female wrestler?????

Seriously, I think you would be an super counselor with your combo no bullshit detector and loving support. ;)?

I've used the "been there done that" line, and its the truth!
Of course I am getting up in years a bit, but I think it could work for any age with the right delivery.
Whatever works.

Cravings stop going where they aren't fed.

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freedom1
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by freedom1 » 03 Nov 2010 04:38

Well done Tink.... that's great news.
Here's a glass of sparkling bubbly water to your success and happiness...
"Let me respectfully remind you,
Life and death are of supreme importance.
Time swiftly passes by and opportunity is lost.
Each of us should strive to awaken. . .
. . . awaken,
Take heed. Do not squander your life."

Tink
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Tink » 03 Nov 2010 14:42

Thanks that means allot to me gang. ;)? :D <:)> The way I see it is instead of paying a shrink I can just go be one. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Ya all know I am crazy so no hiding that one. :oops: 8-) Na, really when I chose this I just was thinking that this will help me too. As I always say"this is not a destination but a journey" We just keep learning forever. It never ends till we clock out that is. :o That is the destination so I am not anxious to get there. Just wanna enjoy all the adventure of getting there. Smell the roses, climb a few Mtns. and live a good and happy life. I don't wanna be at the destination door saying a whole bunch of "geeeeee I wish I would have done this, or why didn't I do that" Ya know? We only get one life that I know of and I could be wrong but I want this one to count for something. Thus cutting out the drink. Big thief booze is. So there ya go. Another long and preachy post from the old Pixie. ;) (::) Have a great day gang and make it count even if it is just one little thing ya do. This is your day and pure gold. The drink cannot have it and you are yourself today. Yahooooooooooooooooooooo!

Tink
Life is a journey not a destination. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.

Dizzy Lizzy
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Dizzy Lizzy » 15 Nov 2010 23:46

hi well i wish i knew where to post but i dont so here i am. how the hell do i get off drink when im with someone that is drinking.
right he has said about meeting me half way not drink in the week but drink weekends.
or he will help me to stop, but he will still drink just 2 cans a night, fair i guess but i cant do that cos how can i kiss someone that smells of drink when really thats all i want is alcohol.am i being unfair, yep guess i am well i really cant help it.
also i am now really scared to come off the drink as i remember how bad i was last chritmas when i came off.i was in bed on here and freezing cold felt really ill. i had a couple of folks on here that stayed with me all night, but this time i will be on my own and it terrifies me.can someone give me an idea what i should do. sorry to go on love lizzy xxx
yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery today is a gift because it is a presant.live in the day.

Bubbysmum

Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Bubbysmum » 16 Nov 2010 03:33

Lizzy

I know you CAN do it with a drinking partner..
My OH has a drink every night..
We've been married 35 yrs and I've never known him to miss a night.. even with man flu..

It was my choice to stop.. he would never ask me to ..and I wouldn't ask him to..
He can have a sensible drink .. I can't ..

He will have his drink outside in his workshop before coming in for dinner..
Can you get yours to do something similar..
As for the kissing .. there is always Colgate..!!

As for the cutting out I don't know if you need to detox supervised..
I never get those withdrawal problems .. someone else may be able to help you there..

Where there's a will there's a way.. ;)?
I have a face to face SMART meeting now.. do you have anything to go to and ask..?

Wendy-x

Dizzy Lizzy
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Dizzy Lizzy » 16 Nov 2010 07:50

wendy thank you, im feeling crap today and the thought of not drinking is killing me but the thought of drinking is even worse so i think i just have to do this. today is day one.
you are doing really well.thanks again love lizzy xxx
yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery today is a gift because it is a presant.live in the day.

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Sandy
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Sandy » 16 Nov 2010 11:45

Lizzy
You have to get a plan together to get through today
what are you gonna do?
Sandy

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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Dizzy Lizzy » 16 Nov 2010 11:53

maria and sandy thanks for your replies well today im gonna stay on here and do some computor course work i think. i no that i will find today hard cos i have the shakes already that will teach me for drinking whisky huh. love lizzy xxx
yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery today is a gift because it is a presant.live in the day.

Bubbysmum

Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Bubbysmum » 30 Nov 2010 21:21

Maria and Lizzy <:)>

Just sending you a soft headbutt from over the pond..
That's what my little cat used to give me..
Even better than a hug..

Hope you two stay safe today
Wendy-x

westwizard
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by westwizard » 08 Dec 2010 21:41

Hello everyone,

Just got back from the pub , it was a themed christmas night in our village and the place was packed to the rafters with sozzled locals feeling very festive.
I just learned the best way in the world to turn down a drink without being probed further.
I laughed all the way home and could not wait to post my experience on this thread!
There were quite a few friends/aquaintances at the bar, i say aquaintances as I have only lived here a couple of years and although we trade names, I dont really know any of them that well. Just got pi**ed with them a few times I suppose.
I took my kids to the christmas fayre and popped in to warm up as its freeeezing tonight!
Mrs and kids sat down while I negotiated my way through the ten deep crowd at to the bar, I ordered two kids fruit shoots and two coffees. Before I knew it a few familiar faces were in my ear, I took kids drinks over to the table and returned for the coffees. The barman had the two coffees on the bar with a nice big pint of peroni fizzing away next to them. "Lee got you that" he said pointing to the beer. I looked over and Lee was in a group chatting.He held up his glass, winked at me and said "cheers mate"
I took the coffees to our table returned to the bar,I took the pint of beer over to where Lee and his buddies were drinking. I put the pint in the middle of their table and proudly announced that I couldnt drink it.
"Whats up with it? "two of them asked in tandem .
They havent seen me for over a couple of weeks as I have been holed up stayin off the booze and I couldnt resist having a bit of fun with it.
"no no Im off the booze from now on lads,that stuff is more aggro than its worth" I replied.
"Piss off, dont start being a pussy,silly season is coming up.Give up in the new year!" Insisted Lee,the exact response I was expecting.
I then proceeded to tell them about the three nights I had spent in the police cell after getting hammered the week before and how I had criminal charges bought against me for an alledged offence I knew nothing about and that I couldnt deny it as I had complete memory loss and woke up in a police cell covered in Blood!
I had their complete undivided attention at this point, I dont know how I didnt laugh.They were half cut and would have believed anything
"what are you supposed to have done?" one of them whispered.
""Coppers wreckon I got a bit heavy with a nightclub barman who refused to serve me and are accusing me of biting of both his ears and the end of his nose" I whispered back with a dead straight face."I think I will stick to coffee for now until I see the outcome of this set up" I bid them a good evening and walked over to my coffee.
By the looks on their faces I dont think they will be forcing the issue of having a drink anytime in the near future! When we left the pub my Mrs actually turned to me and said whats up with that miserable lot,it looks like they are at a wake. I thought they are in a way and hoped they would never see the old pissed me again.
;)?

Bubbysmum

Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Bubbysmum » 08 Dec 2010 22:04

LOL (::)

I don't know how you pulled it off with a straight face..
Well done for your sober night with the family ;)?

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Maddie
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by Maddie » 11 Dec 2010 19:42

That's a good one westwizard!! I couldn't have kept a straight face mind. :lol: :lol:

Maddie X
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”

Marilyn Monroe

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64Turtles
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by 64Turtles » 02 Jan 2011 13:22

Hi westwizard,

I have to say I am laughing so hard I almost p'd me pants. I have one to match as I also use AA to stay sober and on my one year I shared my "story". To the point - on my 1st driving offense I ended in a struggle with the cop and I almost had 'HIM' handcuffed before another cop arrived. After my story they were asking was this really true and true it was, then came the question of "What were you going to do with him?". Not having thought this through I just looked straight faced and said I suppose I would have driven him back to the station and asked for another cop as this one was defective............

One of my best comebacks tho is to say I am allergic to alcohol and break out in criminal charges :?
“Just remember - when you think all is lost, the future remains”

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64Turtles
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Re: How to say no to a drink

Post by 64Turtles » 19 Jan 2011 16:23

I just had a thought.......no ;)?
“Just remember - when you think all is lost, the future remains”

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