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Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Any tips or advice to prevent a relapse, alternatively any of your stories about your own relapses.
jaxom7

Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by jaxom7 » 10 May 2014 09:12

That is a very good question Man of Steel. I don't know the answer and have long pondered this. I know why I stopped (many times :oops: but if that is what it takes....). I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I didn't know it at the time but that is a bit of cliché in reforming circles. As to why I stopped that day and not the next? Beyond me, but I do know this. When the mood takes you then grab it and run away from the bottle as far as you can. Then the 'why' becomes immaterial. I don't know why I stopped but I did and for that I am truly grateful.

Dave

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by Topcat » 10 May 2014 10:17

Blade79 wrote: What's been your trigger to stop this time?
Good question Blade ;)? I stopped many, many times, but never managed to stay stopped for very long. My triggers to start drinking were numerous, but to stop? It was usually when I was just far too ill to drink anymore (and that of course was a very dangerous situation to be in regards withdrawal). The last time I was not, in fact, too ill to carry on, I had just had enough of the whole merry-go-round of it all. As Dave (Jaxom) says, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I wanted my freedom and I wanted it desperately. The only way was up once I realised that stopping altogether was the only way I was going to achieve that freedom.
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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by Pingu123 » 17 May 2014 00:41

My triggers are stress, anger, arguements, lonliness, having money (lol), bad memories, flashbacks and nightmares.

jaxom7

Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by jaxom7 » 18 May 2014 21:11

My biggest trigger has been over- confidence. It has been my downfall. I learned about the more obvious ones from fellow members and did all the right things in planning for them. Then I was arrogant enough to think I was sorted. The fall took a long time coming but it was inevitable. Today I am lucky enough to enjoy being sober and I do not miss drinking one bit. But I am very mindful of the fact that I am just one drink away from mayhem. Triggers? Identify them and plan your way around them. Some we can see, others not but they will out themselves in time and we have to adapt as we carry on with our journey. It is so worth it.

Dave

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by tee » 19 May 2014 08:58

Lovin this thread today, some great posts thanks everyone (::)

My trigger seems to be alone time. When the OH goes out to play golf, I have always thought well if he's having a good time so will I. So well practised was I that I could happily down half a bottle of vodka whilst he was out and by the time he came back in, you would never even know I'd had a drink. :shock:

Let's be clear there is no possibility of me taking up golf to kill the trigger, I would rather stick pins in my eyes than wander round a field with a club trying to hit a wee ball 'for fun' (no offence like :oops: s)

So yesterday I cranked up the tunes and had myself a wee disco. Thank goodness no one saw me or they would think that's it, she's finally gone mad :)

In the words of a wise one, thank it may have been our lovely Bela, whatever works. ;)?
Perseverance is not a long race, it is a series of short races one after the other.

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by Topcat » 19 May 2014 15:04

tee wrote:So yesterday I cranked up the tunes and had myself a wee disco. Thank goodness no one saw me or they would think that's it, she's finally gone mad :)
Good for you Tee. I spent many an hour dancing round the bedroom when I first quit. Whatever works is right and never mind what others will think <:)>
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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by faith2be » 11 Jun 2014 13:39

Hi Tee. Alone time does it for mee too, especially when I feel overwhelmed by stuff that needs me to do things - everything from my perpetually messy house (I have perpetually messy kids) to perpetually overdue work assignments, home administration, repairs, paperwork, bills, oh just everything.
I am going to have to start building up and repairing the mess I've made of at least the last 4 years. That's when everything really went belly-up with the alcohol. Relationship split - on my own - wahay, a great excuse to start drinking. That's the first thing I did when my ex walked out the door, and I just kept doing it.

No more.

Day 2 - and triggers galore, everywhere. but I felt good about yesterday, so I just need to get to 8.30pm, then I'll be pretty safe.That's 6 hours from now. I will make a task plan, do them - and then allow myself some nice 'me' time. After all, I'd otherwise just have wasted so much time being wasted.
Pretty apt term when you think of it. Wasted. A waste.

No more.
hang in there, all , f xxx
Definition of recovery:
1) "a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength"
2) "the action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost"

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by faith2be » 11 Jun 2014 16:38

Thank you for bumping that, gerard.
I used to like that thread.
Ive been a bit laid up today, but the AF resolve is still strong.
I'll go and consider the ol'Ps now.
<:)>
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2) "the action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost"

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by Puppygirl » 13 Jun 2014 23:50

The 3 Ps idea is great, some positive goals to set each morning and review before bedtime. I also try to do a small act of kindness each day, just being extra-nice to a harassed checkout person or popping some change in a charity box. Usually goes unnoticed but it doesn't half cheer me up for little effort or cost. :)

cowboy

Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by cowboy » 04 Jul 2014 20:14

Oh the sun is shining. 4 days of sobriety under my belt. End of the work week. No work tomorrow. Triggers? What triggers?

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by swordgirl. » 04 Jul 2014 22:07

Shields up Cowboy!! What a weekend to challenge your sobriety! You don't do things by halves do you? You can do this, I believe you can do it if you will allow yourself to. Please don't give in to the EAF, don't self sabotage, put yourself first and sod everything else. I'm on the same day as you by the way so perhaps we can meet up on the 2 week challenge? I could do with a buddy along the way.

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by wannabenormal » 30 Dec 2014 08:18

Im not quite AF still at 4 units a day - I am tapering off and its day 6. My Triggers are very similar to some of the posts here. The biggest being Boredom that is caused by Loneliness and then it goes on to nostalgia for a past that is so far away I don't know how I can still believe in it and finally frustration with my self for letting my life slip away in the bottom of a bottle. Just sitting around drinking on my own . That fills me with kind of hollow feeling I was given a gift and I just threw it away . There's probably more but Im so down this morning its hard to think and type. It like i said to myself "you have a great life - there is great opportunity out there ... now why don't you just go out .... and screw yourself up ? and when you do your bottle will always be there for you to help you screw yourself up more".
You can only Taper once : Second time around your body knows what you are up to.
What doesn't kill you: only makes you strong .
Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by pickles » 30 Dec 2014 08:37

Hello wannabe. Boredom is a big trigger for me and thinking of things that had happened in the past as well. I try now to look forward to the day, plan the morning, go through a few things in my mind,positive things, before always not so,making excuses for myself.

Maybe tidying up the kitchen is a good start to keep the mind busy,when that is done then a wash or rest yourself. Make yourself something decent to eat and keep warm,hydrated. Sticking here as well on BE is a good help, just being online and reading round.

Look after yourself, maybe try not to have a drink till late this evening, as a member suggested to someone else on another thread , and then go to bed. Keeping water by the bed as well so not to feel so ill the next day. Get through the morning first, bit at a time.
' Normal ' is just a setting on the washing machine .

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by DannyD » 30 Dec 2014 10:12

Wannabe, boredom was one of my biggest triggers. I've wasted a lot of time being 'bored'. How about (if you are re-visiting your past) digging out an old hobby? Perhaps go back as far as teenage years before you had to work? Or - and this is what I'm planning - something new? I'm hoping to go on a pottery course. I like crafty stuff like knitting and painting. I'm not good - too much of a butterfly mind to concentrate for long enough. What about going for walks around the neighbourhood? Getting a bike and planning a longer route? Getting a horse and do an over nighter somewhere? It's the present and the future which holds the excitement. For me, the past is all tied up with regrets - and things that I can't change, so that depresses me.

And here's a challenge thrown out to me in the early months (still not done it): get on public transport; travel 30 minutes to somewhere you've not been before; have lunch and then get yourself home.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by Chiffon » 30 Dec 2014 13:15

Boredom was a big trigger for me too. Daft really, as by getting wasted, it made it even less likely that I could do something to relieve the boredom.
Amazing how we think isnt it. Hang in there :)

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by bonnieboy » 08 Jan 2015 18:48

Boredom was always my excuse for getting drunk, living alone was also pretty bad as of course I had no one to answer to so I would come in from work and start drinking straight away , frequently I wouldn't even realise how hammered I was as there's no one to bounce off so you don't know your slurring and staggering around the house.

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by wannabenormal » 09 Jan 2015 19:23

Well I just found some like minded souls
Boredom and Thinking of the Past

In the top 10 of my trigger list these two are my number 1 and number 2 by a huge margin and in fact the they swap places at will. That is what kept me drinking -
Chiffon wrote:. Daft really, as by getting wasted, it made it even less likely that I could do something to relieve the boredom.
It cost me the whole of 2014 - never got enough motivation except buy more - I need a way out of this maze
You can only Taper once : Second time around your body knows what you are up to.
What doesn't kill you: only makes you strong .
Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by wannabenormal » 10 Jan 2015 14:17

I am trying walking and soon I will join a gym - I think that and the CBT we'll see what comes up
You can only Taper once : Second time around your body knows what you are up to.
What doesn't kill you: only makes you strong .
Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by Topcat » 10 Jan 2015 14:54

Walking did it for me Wannabe. Whenever the cravings struck (plus when they didn't) I went out (without any cash) and headed for the local hills. Walked miles and still do. Great physical exercise and brilliant for mental health too (you sleep better). Thoroughly recommend it ;)?
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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by wannabenormal » 10 Jan 2015 17:25

Topcat wrote:Walking did it for me Wannabe. Whenever the cravings struck (plus when they didn't) I went out (without any cash) and headed for the local hills. Walked miles and still do. Great physical exercise and brilliant for mental health too (you sleep better). Thoroughly recommend it ;)?
Thanks TC just got back from 2 1/2 hr walk on riverbank and you are right its really good to keep you calm and peaceful - just being with nature and fresh air does wonders for the spirit :D
You can only Taper once : Second time around your body knows what you are up to.
What doesn't kill you: only makes you strong .
Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy

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