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Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Any tips or advice to prevent a relapse, alternatively any of your stories about your own relapses.
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Hedgehog
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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by Hedgehog » 06 Oct 2015 09:18

jaxom7 wrote:Hah, just put that in me head the context of the name Bodger! Quite unintentional.
:lol: Nice one!

With regards to cravings - they are nasty little stings. I've used Newt's technique of thoroughly cleaning my teeth and by the time that's done, the cravings have normally gone. That's the good thing about them - they are short-lived, especially when I become an observer and don't let them take over my whole being. They remind me of a sudden, sharp slap across the face. Ouch! - but soon gone. Another favourite is fizzy water - a pint of - and huge gulps. By the time I'm half way through I'm full and then the thought of alcohol actually turns me off! Result. As I say, I'm still a work-in-progress - and I never thought cracking this thing would be so complex - but I'm learning. ;)?

*goes off to polish tool box* ;)
Breaking on through to the other side. \:)/

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jamesey
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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by jamesey » 06 Oct 2015 11:50

That's great Hedgehog ! you know your right about the temptation /craving thing it actually doesn't last that long. A couple of nights ago i sat in chair wine at the ready and sat through it and the grip went after half an hour ! Then just got into bed and felt ok and relaxed and relieved about it. It for me was the first time that i was mindful of the fact that it actually does pass.
But i never have done distraction techniques.Somthing to try maybe. Its just for me its the actively applying the doing that's hard.
Buggered up last night tho :(

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by Hedgehog » 06 Oct 2015 15:46

Well done for sitting through the process the other night Jamesey - it's not easy to learn is it? I know it's all too easy for me to give in *at the drop of a hat* without any thought whatsoever. Especially if wine is already in the house. But I do find it interesting to watch myself go through the cravings. It's like creating a second 'me' who is neutral, isn't addicted and is curious about the first 'me'. As you say, the relief and relaxation of coming through a craving the other side without giving in is just the best! Well worth those few minutes of 'arrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh I MUST drink NOW!' :D

Sorry to hear it went a bit pear-shaped last night - it happens to the best of us, so dust yourself down, pull your socks up and try again. ;)?
Breaking on through to the other side. \:)/

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by jamesey » 06 Oct 2015 20:25

That's very supportive of you Hedgehog ! You know that's very interesting your process of putting yourself apart from that side that craves the booze. Looking at it, observing it, watching that other parts processes before it wanes and we become calm and relieved knowing we are free for at least another night.
I think what it does is it puts you in a better position, giving you a new rational angle to work from. I like it and could be a useful tool for that trigger time. Will give it a go and will apply it for myself. Fizzy pop ! gives me wind, but hay horses for courses :\:

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seismic
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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by seismic » 16 Oct 2015 22:32

Trying hard to think of my triggers,. Certainly last Sunday was just feeling good (then I wasn't, 25 units later), can't help but think if I'd not had the first one I'd have been okay.

Time was I'd come home from work angry, irritated, fed up. I'm part time now at a different place so I'm never really irritated about work. Same set up last night, bought some booze, drank the lot, just giving into the craving really.

Went with some 0% beer this evening, seems to satisfy a taste urge.
The answer is not to be found at the bottom of a bottle

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Tai
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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by Tai » 17 Oct 2015 07:29

That's so true isn't it Seismic. I remember someone telling me that if I didn't have the first drink then I couldn't get drunk. It seemed ludicrous to me because of course I thought it was the 7th, 8th maybe 9th drink that had REALLY done the damage! Turns out I was wrong. It's the first drink that does the damage.
A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle.
Khalil Gibran

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jamesey
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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by jamesey » 17 Oct 2015 12:20

The thing is one of my triggers is if i have stopped for a while my mood gets better then i go out to get the booze because i'm happier,crazy !

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by Tai » 18 Oct 2015 13:35

I agree that feeling good can be a huge trigger. "Feel good? Want to feel even better? Have a drink, that'll do it".

It's all part and parcel of the way our minds work that we look for reasons to justify having a drink even whilst another part of our mind looks on in wonder. Why do we do these things? It's like we play these mind games in our heads ... like there'll be no real consequences for us to deal with afterwards .... and that's where a key counter-strategy can help us out. Instead of focussing on feeling "even better" in the here and now, try winding forward in time. Imagine what happens a few drinks in when things become ... well, messy maybe. Imagine waking up the next day feeling as rough as anything. Imagine having to cope with whatever you have planned for the next day but with a killer hangover .... and that's quite aside from the emotional fallout ... feeling bleak, ashamed, guilty, paranoid etc etc.

Sometimes we have to look beyond what's going on in the here and now in order to respond in ways that don't lead us in a negative direction.
A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle.
Khalil Gibran

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by seismic » 19 Oct 2015 19:31

Bloody well triggered myself again yesterday didn't I? Bugger. The first one, it was the first one what done it.
The answer is not to be found at the bottom of a bottle

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by jamesey » 20 Oct 2015 15:29

Tai i think that is a good strategy ;)? I think to focus more on the consequential thoughts when not drinking could with anuff discipline help recondition our thinking and habit patterns .

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by seismic » 23 Oct 2015 07:58

Uncertain if it's trigger or not.

Wife is going away, in fact left at 4 this morning for a school trip to NYC, gratis too!
I need to go shopping, she normally does that. I often drink more when she is out so last night find myself looking at my supermarket and comparing beer and whisky prices, bad move. I really don't need to pour it down my throat just because she isn't here.
I had intended on a bike ride first thing then the shopping but I think the feeling of elation of exercise might make me think ' just a few tonight, doesn't have to be loads' (wrong, always)
I'll go shopping early then ride later, then the temptation is removed.
The answer is not to be found at the bottom of a bottle

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jamesey
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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by jamesey » 24 Oct 2015 10:27

Yep positive thoughts days and actions promote me to drink,its fu ck g mad.And there my triggers ! got to get my head right as i drank again last night.

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by mkj » 24 Oct 2015 12:27

Jamesey,
Is it mad when you think about it logically ? Most people want to stop after a bad session,drinkers are very good at discounting the reality of an alcohol problem, so chuck a couple of good days into the mix and here we go again.
A drink problem is just that, it means we have little to no control over how much we drink after we take the first drink, if we don't drink then its not alcohol that's causing the problem,
People do struggle to get their heads round accepting an alcohol problem for what it is, for various reasons, but it will always be there if we drink, .....no alcohol, no alcohol problem.
You take care

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by jamesey » 24 Oct 2015 20:23

Hi MKJ well its a bigey its a simple but hard sum "no drink-inebriation =sobriety !" There is the Math in front of me,the answer the enlightenment,The Holy Grail ! Just do the sum above ! Its in my hand and its down to me to apply it.

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by seismic » 25 Oct 2015 19:11

Started some tunes this evening. I'd started drinking anyway, but quickly changed Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds for 808 state.
Whilst I like a lot of maudlin music, it just isn't good when you're down and you've let your defences down too.
The answer is not to be found at the bottom of a bottle

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by jamesey » 26 Oct 2015 12:29

siesmic THE WEEPING SONG not good then ! i better but it away :roll:

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by seismic » 26 Oct 2015 12:35

I do like the Murder Ballads album for getting some anger out.
The answer is not to be found at the bottom of a bottle

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jamesey
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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by jamesey » 26 Oct 2015 19:46

Used to listen to his early stuff,cant remember the song but it was about a mad ax man going around killing his family or something. Wasn't there one called jangling Jack ?
Saying that been emotional on another thread ,better get that weeping song on the deck ;)?

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by seismic » 26 Oct 2015 22:05

Actually found my own children a bit of a trigger today. Wife is away since Thursday. We had a bike ride, which they wanted. Daughter, 9, who is an obstinate git when it comes to clothes and won't be told, wears just a t shirt then complains of being cold. Son, 10, who has padded shorts, opted not to wear them then complained about his parts hurting. They both got a bit slow later on.
In the car they are both prone to what the wife and I call, hilarity. Everything becomes funny. Irritating. I can't focus on driving with it going on (possibly more me than them) When we get hope they leave the gate open so the dogs escape. and they leave their crap all over the place, despite constant nagging.
I needed to get some shopping and every fibre in me was screaming, 'have a drink, it'll make it go away'. I held onto thoughts of Cost Benefit Analysis and the fact I'd promised myself not to drink today.

I get irritated a lot. It's me more than the kids or other outside stimuli. I just need to remember the answer isn't at the bottom of a bottle.
The answer is not to be found at the bottom of a bottle

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Re: Triggers: how do you cope with them?

Post by jamesey » 27 Oct 2015 15:10

Well Siesmic that's the beauty of B E you can just get it off your chest here and helps in your abstinence ;)? Half term here,for you maybe,so you will have kids all week :o :o you keep it going there !
Here's a pathetic trigger here for you.I will look in the TV guide at the evenings viewing and if there seems to be a couple of programs i like that's my cue that's a trigger :oops: Bloody crazy !

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