Blan kout......I couldn't help but smile when I read your post. Watching others particularly in those early days is painful and can easily bring in a relapse. I know this too well as do many others on this site.
It's tough accepting that all these other people can go along drinking what they want and not end up like us. My god I've spent all my adult life trying to drink "normally"........and failed miserably time after time. Despite my views that I believe alcohol will be reined in at some stage in the distant future due to the damage it causes, we in the meantime have to learn to live without it whilst everyone else APPEARS to be getting the better deal.
I have emphasised "appears" because a lot of people who we think are drinking are not really and those who we think aren't are, if that makes sense. You'd be surprised at how many people don't drink much and in fact when you feel you will be the odd one out others are not having very much themselves either. That's definitely something I noticed at social events. Of course unless you socialise with a group of life's pissheads, and I've done that in the past
So working on acceptance of your situation will help enormously. You can't do anything about anyone else and if like me you let if get under your skin you'll go back. After 12 months of being totally pissed off with the whole world because they could drink and I couldn't I finally just said "sod it". 12 years later, nothing changed, worse situations and me being totally broken by alcohol.
So my mindset is now....you can keep your alcohol all to yourself because I'm not going back there. The horrendous hangovers, anxiety, shame, depression and so much more. So if your trigger is others drinking you most certainly need to work on accepting your own situation, maybe limit social events in the early days except for ones where you know you will blend in ok without feeling "the odd one out" and remind yourself every day how much better you are without that drink inside of you.
Much love Day 317 for me
after 15 years of trying