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The Confession Parlour...

Any tips or advice to prevent a relapse, alternatively any of your stories about your own relapses.
Spats
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by Spats » 28 Apr 2018 16:20

You’re totally right Sally! I’m yoyoing between not smoking or not drinking. I am on the whole eating more healthily than I used to. Except when I drink - then i smoke and don’t eat much at all. I know I can quit drinking so I’m going to go all out for that. I have another appointment at the no smoking clinic this week when I will chat and arrange a quitdate - usually within 2-3 weeks. I will need to use NRT as champix isn’t available for me for medical reasons and also due to excessive alcohol.

I’m going to start again on day one today ;)? Thanks sal for your comments and very sound advice as usual <:)>

Has anyone heard from Zelda or Faith ?

Spats
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by Spats » 28 Apr 2018 17:15

Oh P.O. I did wonder if I recognised him? ;)

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Lush4life
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by Lush4life » 28 Apr 2018 18:10

Pork wrote:I didn’t make the pig :cry:
No but you have the pig and you deserve it my friend ;)?
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
And rent is due Every day.

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Lush4life
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by Lush4life » 06 May 2018 14:25

Pork wrote:I think I miss booze
Am sat here in my garden, barbie on , good music and husband cooking while clinking his glass, full of ice,gin and tonic...do i feel like a drink ?
Yup definitely !
However I won't because it would be a very Bad choice.
It is what it is pork, these feeling come and go for all of us , it will pass you know that and so do I....if only someone would tell my face that ;)
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
And rent is due Every day.

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DannyD
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by DannyD » 06 May 2018 14:35

So do I Pork. But it's a sort of romanticising in my head. A lovely cold drink. Water straight from the fridge clinking with ice cubes. Sounds lush.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Lush4life
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by Lush4life » 06 May 2018 15:10

DannyD wrote:So do I Pork. But it's a sort of romanticising in my head. A lovely cold drink. Water straight from the fridge clinking with ice cubes. Sounds lush.
Glad to hear that Danny, cos that's just what this particular lush is drinking, cheers :D
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
And rent is due Every day.

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silvergirl
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by silvergirl » 06 May 2018 15:46

Yeah, I think booze served a purpose and now we no longer drink it those feelings? emotions? thoughts? whatever pop up from time to time and we miss our old coping method. Makes sense to me anyway.

Have you thought about paws lately pork? Post acute withdrawal syndrome I mean, not the things at the end of some animals legs. I used to scoff and think aye, right! When I read people saying that they suffered from it but I do think there’s something in it now. I had almost monthly episodes at first of feeling out of sorts, then every couple of months and I remember the period of time just before I hit six months dry as being an absolute doozy. Gritting teeth and hunkering down worked for me and they generally pass, acknowledging how you’re feeling is fab, wanting a drink and having a drink are two very different things.

This will pass, it always does. you’ll be on the up again, just hold out and fingers crossed it won’t be too long before you’re as happy as a pig in sh.. once more. ;)

Best,
Sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

Spats
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by Spats » 06 May 2018 16:22

Yes hold on there Mr P. We all know that drinking will only add to the situation and make things appear blacker than they are. Work your way through it as best you can and keep posting. We're always here :\:

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Lush4life
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by Lush4life » 06 May 2018 16:32

Pork wrote::|
You're not alone pork, lots of friendly support here <:)>
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
And rent is due Every day.

united
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by united » 06 May 2018 16:45

Pork, I relate to what you're going through, I spilt with my girlfriend last year, and I still miss her, I've ruminated for months about it being the wrong decision, I was devastated when I heard she'd met someone else... I feel alone, I am alone, I wonder if I'll ever meet anyone now and have kids, I'm a 43 male and have little hope now. I've been depressed and anxious. Yes I'd like a drink, I wish I could drink like normal people... but I'd drink on my own get really drunk and regret it tomorrow. So I won't drink today. I've been to the gym, I find that helps, if I've got nothing else to do and no one to see than it seems the best option. I'm feeling your pain Pork, even if the relationship wasn't right it still hurts so much, but it will ease in time.
I would rather go through life sober, believing I'm an alcoholic, than go through life drunk, trying to convince myself that I am not.

Spats
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by Spats » 06 May 2018 17:08

Pork I can relate to you. A good number of years ago I went through that same situation. Except a few months after BF split with me I found he'd married. 6 months later he was back and I told him to disappear and sort his own life out and not mess with mine. We got back together and lasted for 28 years and married for 15. He died just over 4 years ago. My life turned out well in the end but the heartbreak was terrible at the time. He had a daughter by a previous marriage but we didnt have any together. Time and age didnt allow it.

Another person I know was single most of her life. Had lots of good friends but always home alone. She always said she'd be married by the time she was 50. She made it by 3 weeks \:)/ and she is so happy now.

You never what or who is waiting for you round the corner <:)>

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Leslans
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by Leslans » 06 May 2018 19:24

Pork, I can also relate to this. I loved my ice cold white wine. I went through a kind of bereavement for my wine. Whilst it took me to some horrible places, I loved the taste, it was really nice. I still miss the taste. I don’t however miss all the crap. My concern however is the statement “dry drunk” I was most definitely one of those when I gave up 13 years ago and sadly because I was a dry drunk it was inevitable that I would eventually go back to drinking. I couldn’t let go of my friend wine and whilst I didn’t crave him, I was resentful, bored, moody and lots of other negative things. It took 12 months before I caved I just couldn’t differentiate between liking wine and the pain it caused. I just used every permission thought going to eventually pick up.......and actually after 12 months it was a glass of red!!!!!!!!

So when I came around in 2016 I was determined not to be a dry drunk I had to change who I was or who I thought I was to let go of all the positive thoughts I attached to drinking. Take care my friend <:)>
"Don't look back, you're not going that way"

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Leslans
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by Leslans » 06 May 2018 19:47

No need to be sorry, I’m what I am too......just is what it is :lol2:
"Don't look back, you're not going that way"

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Lush4life
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by Lush4life » 06 May 2018 19:55

Leslans wrote:No need to be sorry, I’m what I am too......just is what it is :lol2:
And I'm definitely a , I am what I am type too ;)
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
And rent is due Every day.

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Leslans
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by Leslans » 06 May 2018 19:56

Lovely Lushie :\:
"Don't look back, you're not going that way"

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silvergirl
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by silvergirl » 06 May 2018 20:30

What is it in particular that you miss about it pork?

Sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

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silvergirl
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by silvergirl » 06 May 2018 20:55

Nah, don’t be sorry, you’re amongst raging allies here, most of us can appreciate that I reckon.

If you knew what it was that you were missing, taste, relaxation, mind becoming mostly blank etc you could think of doing something to get that without boozing, a becks blue, massage, bungee jumping, etc. I’ve no idea if bungee jumping makes ones mind go mostly blank to be fair, though I’d recommend taking a pair of clean breeks just in case.

Anyway. Some days we plod though but that does get less in my experience.

Cheers,
Sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

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Lush4life
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by Lush4life » 06 May 2018 21:06

silvergirl wrote:
If you knew what it was that you were missing, taste, relaxation, mind becoming mostly blank etc you could think of doing something to get that without boozing, a becks blue, massage, bungee jumping, etc.
Sgx
That is a really good way of looking at it IMO, have never thought about it that way ...definitely food for thought ;)
Hope all good in your world SG ;)?
Been a lovely sunny day here today, hope it's been nice weather for all :D
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
And rent is due Every day.

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silvergirl
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by silvergirl » 06 May 2018 21:24

All is well with me, thank you lush. :D <:)>
It has been glorious here up north, I think I have got a touch of sunburn from being outside. Long may it last!

Sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

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SoberBoots
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Re: The Confession Parlour...

Post by SoberBoots » 07 May 2018 10:47

Pork wrote:I did not want the taste.
I wanted the feeling. I don’t like whiskey but wanted to neck some.
It has passed.
Much like running long distance. Training for half marathon say. You can’t get to mile 10 & think oh I’m tired I’m going to stop.
Maybe I’m at mile 10 & just have to push through to the higher mileage.
I’ve not had coke for 288 days. Alcohol apart from listerine for 165 days & chocolate for 44 days.
I’m going to get some chocolate for today.
Thanks for listening.
You're amazing Porkiepie. Keep on with the marathon (and eat lots of chocolate)
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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