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im my own worst enemy

Any tips or advice to prevent a relapse, alternatively any of your stories about your own relapses.
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Maypole
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Re: im my own worst enemy

Post by Maypole » 20 Oct 2013 04:54

It's 3pm here in Sydney Australia... Haven't had anything to drink since around 10pm last night... Had half bottle champagne, half bottle red wine and 2 cocktails....

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Maypole
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Re: im my own worst enemy

Post by Maypole » 20 Oct 2013 07:47

Your post really spoke to me Pink Panther.

I'm here in Sydney and the sky is an eerie orange because of all the terrible bush fires surrounding my city...

Many people are losing their homes, and all those animals perishing ...

I realise I've been self absorbed. Sorry everyone. So many people have no control over their trauma and distress. I can control things... Or at least try with all my might.

It's the booze... It's been a crutch and a horrible addiction..

But need to look forward now... Slowly and steadily... I'm needing change and recovery.

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Maypole
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Re: im my own worst enemy

Post by Maypole » 20 Oct 2013 09:01

Pink panther... I just listed yesterday as my last drink date.... The first time I've used this device.

It's a step.

Thank you Pink and Zoe...

Wow. Your kind and supportive words have touched me... When I needed it most.

It's been one of the hardest days... I feel useless and totally bereft... But I'm not drinking...

I have some Valium, vitamin B1, magnesium and just ordered online some healthy meals to be delivered Friday...

I just need to get through the next 5 days.

I'll be on here a lot!

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Maypole
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Re: im my own worst enemy

Post by Maypole » 20 Oct 2013 15:37

Jos, are you there????

I'm having a panic attack I think... I feel such a deep dark heavy cloud has taken over my life and I just can't get any relief from anything...

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1sunworshipper
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Re: im my own worst enemy

Post by 1sunworshipper » 20 Oct 2013 15:46

Maypole my love I'm here <:)> <:)>

If a panic attack is coming on, get a paper bag and take deep breaths into it. Your breathing will stabilise and the attack will pass. If you have not got one then close your eyes and take slow deep breaths. Can you pop on some calming music. Do you have any scented candles around to light and inhale?
AF2012 #21 - challenge successfully completed
AF2013 #12 - challenge successfully completed
AF2014 #12 - 11 and a bit months
nothing changes if nothing changes

jaxom5

Re: im my own worst enemy

Post by jaxom5 » 20 Oct 2013 15:49

Maypole, replied to you on the Late Lounge. What 1Sun has advised is the same principle as what I said there. We are not making this up. Simple remedies but they do work.

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Maypole
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Re: im my own worst enemy

Post by Maypole » 20 Oct 2013 15:57

I'm so scared and sad... But I think the panic attack has subsided... I did the hand cupping thing Dave...

My life feels completely shite

jaxom5

Re: im my own worst enemy

Post by jaxom5 » 21 Oct 2013 13:53

Hi Maypole. Glad it worked. Life shite? Well welcome to my world but there is a difference. I know things will get better. Cannot see it at the moment but it will happen. Life experience tells me that.

Dave

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Maypole
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Re: im my own worst enemy

Post by Maypole » 21 Oct 2013 16:47

It's 2am and I'm wide awake... Again... But no anxiety attack just a large and chronic dose of insomnia..

2 days off the drink has really helped, although all the crying should be stimulating some sort of sleepiness surely...

Thank you so much Dave, Pink Panther, Zoe, sunworshipper

I'm reading many posts and feeling stronger for it... But not very strong... Just fractionally better and less bereft

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Re: im my own worst enemy

Post by 1sunworshipper » 21 Oct 2013 19:48

Hey Maypole, Well done on getting AF2 under your belt \:)/ (::) I'm so pleased you seem a little brighter even though you must be exhausted with the lack of sleep as well <:)> I have been concerned about you and you have been in my thoughts and of course you pop up on my mind when our news coverage comes on as the fires in NSW is hitting our headlines.
AF2012 #21 - challenge successfully completed
AF2013 #12 - challenge successfully completed
AF2014 #12 - 11 and a bit months
nothing changes if nothing changes

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Re: im my own worst enemy

Post by Floyd_12 » 11 Nov 2013 22:10

I think this topic is the one for me.

I totally sympathise with Kel.

I too don't know what comes over me and the struggle so badly with not being able to stop once I've started.

I usually drink two days solid with a couple of hours sleep.

Whilst everybody else is nursing hangovers I'm right back on it the next morning.

I don't know how to prevent this anymore I'm starting to believe I can't control being a casual drinker like the majority of people and must stop all together.

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Re: im my own worst enemy

Post by xxkellbell1584xx » 11 Nov 2013 22:45

Yep that sure sounds like me :( my last binge 2 weeks see me have a great friday night in the pub but woke sat morning with feeling excited to be going out again with my best mate for first time in 2 years, I wake up and get straight on the litre bottle of vodka in the kitchen.. why Did I even want to drink when I woke up? :? :oops: :shock:

I drank the bottle before we went out, then carried on with cocktails and shots. I had a row with my friend as bouncers were turning me away, I felt great, how was I drunk? I got asked to leave in the end and climbed over a fence to get back in.. I mean Wtf!! I then carried on drinking but got asked to leave by the police, I hadn't been bad too anyone I was just toooo drunk..

The next morning I am welcomed with sheer panic :( anxiety so strong as soon as I even opened my eyes, i had a long journey from london to norwich alone and I couldn't face it.. I was being sick everywhere, shaking.. nearly collapsed In the train station too! Arghhhh.. this was 2 weeks ago.. The anxiety I had that day was unreal, like nothing I had ever had.. I feel scared to have a drink at the moment, the thought of feeling like that terrifies me..

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