I think part of this is me - being tense because of mother situation and impending visit.DannyD wrote: ↑03 May 2021 10:11Luna have a wonderful trip. I daresay that wifi might be internittent? And keep warm! I bet it's still very cold on the open decks at sea.
Rachel I want to give you a big hug. When I was married, I once went round his friends asking why they liked him. I was trying to find something that I hadn't seen. One told me "he's so funny". Nope. I never saw that side. Can you remember why you enjoyed his company when you first met? Try to rekindle that first affection? It does sound as though he's being deliberately provocative, and even spiteful in the garden. Fingers crossed he left the wisteria alone.
Partly it's him - he's stir crazy.
Action, I think you are right. We have been cooped up in the house together for over a year and rarely seen anyone else. He thinks he's more sociable than me and is struggling with lack of contact with others, other than his many work meetings a day with colleagues. (My introversion has become more extreme, but I have been meeting up with writing friends on zoom every other week, sometimes every week, and talking to my best friend at work, for a non-work chat, every week, throughout...) He is also fed up with the cluttered house which he regards as entirely my fault. (It's know it's not. I've seen his apartments in Germany...) He is in fact doing an awful lot of externalizing.
Ok this could be a worryingly bad rehearsal for retirement (yes I do see that future together) but at least then in principle it will be possible to get out more and do things more independently, then.
This will pass. But I think the garden is always going to be a sticking point, alas.
re my mother, the POA has stalled because the person we have asked to be the certificate holder wants to wait until after his second vaccine, in June. An issue for my mother, re dementia, is that she places a very high value on intelligence, including her own. This is a mistake on her part, imo, but that's how she thinks. She managed to get a first class degree as a mature student from a working class background in 1958ish and has always been proud on the point of hubris about this. It's never a good idea to put all your self-confidence eggs in one basket, so to speak.
tbh I don't think she has dementia in the sense most people, including her, think of it. Her cognitive functions although impaired are really not too bad. It's the memory that's the issue - at least as far as I can see. (She is quite good at covering things up so maybe she is able to reason less well than I realize - although that covering up requires some intelligence I suppose.)
I hope you enjoyed your walk and find your ring. Not sure how far you have got with Eleanor O. One aspect - relevant to BE people - didn't quite ring true to me, but an enjoyable bitter sweet book nonetheless with a nice twist later on (hope that's not giving too much away.)
Bean bargain, Danny! I really should sow some. Looks like raised beds are nearly there. Just need to add manure. I think I need to order more. Quite exciting.
to do: go and give husband a reconciliatory hug. He has helped me do the border and raised beds, even if he's not been happy about it!