The To Do List

Specific emotional or mental health problems, like anxiety, depression, insomnia, confidence etc. Along with bodily health, exercise, nutrition.
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Rachel
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Rachel »

Re drinking. (Not much teenage drinking for me. I didn't really get going with it until my late 20s, although when I did drink earlier on, the signs were there in the way I tended to do it.) I am pretty sure I am currently safe. I actively don't want to drink. But I feel I should think about it still - ponder on it and why I did it and how that relates to my current situation. That is why I am still on this site. It's never done and dusted. You have to be aware that it's still indelibly etched in your brain somehow.
After nearly this long of sobriety things do feel very different. It's safe think about such things. It's safe to have what if thoughts. And it's advisable to think and talk about it still.

re the Greenhouse, I was charged £1200 to have the foundation laid. Others quoted more. So to have to potentially have to pay another £1500-2000 more is galling to say the least, and then how can I trust anyone else anyway? I am not confident that this guy can put it right. Neighbour watched them do it and apparently they did not go about it in the normal way which suggests they had no idea what they were doing. But I think I need to push for some remedial work and if they screw up again call it a day and get someone else in then. Problem is that builders are very busy at the moment.
I think I have to resign myself to no greenhouse this summer. I am worried that, meanwhile, it might get damaged. (To redo the foundation they need to squeeze past all the glass with a concrete mixer. I might get them to bring it through the house instead though.)

I do hope you manage to get your door fixed, Danny.

Today I managed to plant out the broad beans and few peas I grew from seed, plus sweetcorn. I potted up 4 tomatoes and did a bit of sorting of pots. I keep breaking stems of plants :? :cry: I don't feel I am doing well in the garden this year. Toms don't look as good as they should. The beans I planted a few weeks ago look sick.
I could do with another day to pot up more tomatoes and dahlias. Tomorrow could be a bit busy... Actually I have quite a lot on this week. Various work meetings and non-work appointments. (Opticians! Writing meeting. Mother's doctor...) I might take a few days off before we have to go back into the office once they announce their intentions in detail. At the moment, it's not clear how compulsory it will be initially, or whether we will all have to go in three days a week straight away. (Will depend on social distancing rules, I imagine.) I just wish they'd tell us! I realize they are waiting on the government announcement (14th), but I don't see why they can't give us conditional mandates.

Luna I usually go round garden centres on my own. Husband not only is not interested, he actively hates gardening. He sits in the car. (I don't drive.) He's the same re food shopping, although he seems to go to the supermarket an awful lot these days. (For a break/change I guess.)

If you plant strawberries you should get fruit the same year and you don't need to wait a year to pick them. They are amazingly tough. I don't have any success with them, though. Plants survive huge amounts of neglect, but something else always eats the fruit. I do grow them in pots though. Perhaps that's the mistake. What few I have had are delicious though.
I have a terrible slug/snail problem at the moment. I need to put some nematodes down for the slugs.

I have a lot of aphids in the garden. I now feel like they are crawling on me. They may be. Or maybe not... Maybe I should shower.

Oh my bunch of sweet peas from the garden does smell nice...
Rachel

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DannyD
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Re: The To Do List

Post by DannyD »

Morning

Rachel I do feel for you about the greenhouse. A much looked forward to investment, and this has taken away much of the pleasure and excitement. But totally agree with you about getting hold of any trades. It's a nightmare. My door is being sorted, but I shall have to have French windows instead of my preferred patio doors, for economy. It is what it is, and it's another three weeks while they make them.

I've been following a steamship on Facebook. It's the Shieldhall, and used to run out of Glasgow (years ago). Currently she's making her way to dry dock in Falmouth. This morning they posted a video of a shoal of dolphins around the bow. Lovely start to the day.

To do
Walk dog.
Phone calls.
Coffee at a local garden centre with catch up friends.
Meet at activity centre for self referral fitness training of some sort. Not sure this is what I'm looking for - which is one of the phone calls I need to make this am.

Have a good day y'all
be selfish in your sobriety.

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DannyD
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Re: The To Do List

Post by DannyD »

Morning

I did a lot on my list yesterday (should that be a lot off?). I also have two builders going back and forth between my gate, leaving it open, so dog and I were kept in. It'll be much the same today I fear, so difficult to be in the garden with the dog. Eye off him for a minute, and he takes himself for a walk. Strangely, when we walk together from the house, we 99/100 turn right. When on his own, he invariably turns left.

I've dropped/mislaid a bank card and my bus pass. I think they slid out of their home together. I do hope they haven't gone off in their holidays. Can you imagine the havoc they could wreak in my finances? Or worse. Bank card waits at bus stop with bus pass. Driver refuses them entry because they're not wearing masks. Punch up starts. Police get called. I get called. I suppose it's one way of getting them back. And at least they're together.

Have a good day y'all
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Mark.
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Mark. »

DannyD wrote:
08 Jun 2021 06:08
Bank card waits at bus stop with bus pass. Driver refuses them entry because they're not wearing masks. Punch up starts. Police get called. I get called. I suppose it's one way of getting them back. And at least they're together.
Love that, D (::) It put me in mind of this video, which is funny/super cute (turn the volume down if you don't like the music). The missing person in the photo is Graham Coxon, the writer and singer of the song:

https://youtu.be/6oqXVx3sBOk

I hope the cards turn up soon ;)?

\:)/ and <:)> to all!
"I once thought that growing up *meant* smoking and drinking. It looked so good, but I don't want to die from it."
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DannyD
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Re: The To Do List

Post by DannyD »

Aw. Super cute. Do you remember Access the flexible friend? Who used to get around in his adverts as well.

(Found them. Under my bed. Of course).
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Mark.
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Mark. »

DannyD wrote:
08 Jun 2021 07:15
Do you remember Access the flexible friend? Who used to get around in his adverts as well.
Oh yes! I'd forgotten about him :D
DannyD wrote:
08 Jun 2021 07:15
(Found them. Under my bed. Of course).
Excellent ;)? <:)>
"I once thought that growing up *meant* smoking and drinking. It looked so good, but I don't want to die from it."
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DannyD
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Re: The To Do List

Post by DannyD »

(I think they were hoping to quietly elope).
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Mark.
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Mark. »

:lol: :lol: ;)?
"I once thought that growing up *meant* smoking and drinking. It looked so good, but I don't want to die from it."
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Rachel
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Rachel »

So glad you found them, Danny. Horrid when that happens. We were talking about Access cards the other day, coincidentally. Didn't the cheque to pay the bill go to Swindon? (A little even before my time, perhaps, but I remember my parents doing it.) Remember the msug Am Ex Gold ad? Name drop alert: Stephen Fry once came into the shop I worked and pretty much presented his Platinum card in a similar manner. It must have been just a few weeks before he did his infamous runner while performing in a run of a West End play...

Right I got up early and am now 15 minutes 'late for work'. Still a slightly academic notion... for the next week and a half at least... one of my editors seemed to think that going back to the office will be voluntary until September, but not sure that he had inside knowledge there. I just wnat to know... but I think they will wait until the 14th to tell us. The BBC ran an article saying that we will all drift back to 5 days a week in the office, because it's 'better for us and business', within two years.

to do today
Yesterday I did an hour's gardening before work. Not today... I also did an hour at lunch time. This means changing clohting and having a wash too many times a day ;) Will try to do something at lunch time.
to do
work ✔
get washing out of machine and put more on. (possibly get rotary dryer out of the shed.) ✔
pot on two tomato plants (I have now done 16. A few to go.) ✔ and one tomatillo. Carefully. I keep having accidents... I am very accident prone at the moment.
pot on a couple of dahlias ✔ (3) - 2 more to do and 3 to plant out.
plant out a large tray of plants - nah
try to go for a walk... to local little garden centre :? ✔ Garden centre was shut so came straight home. or charity shop that had some Dotor Who original series DVDS I don't have for sale.
don't go to the optician's. Appointment has been pushed back to July 19th :( (Mix of relief and disappointment. I so need new glasses.)
fill up tomato water tanks ✔ and add food - in a day or two.
feed anything that's not been potted on recently
A bit of writing. I have two writing meetins at the same time tomorrow. I am going to leave one early and try to go to both :? Only (possible) on Zoom...
take some juvenile starling photos - they buggered off one I set up my camera. Typisch.
I think that's probably more than I can realistically do already.
edit: I put the rotary dryer up (took ages to fin d the hole!)
washed the clothes pegs in the dishwasher. Kind of worked.
Put some sleeves on fruit bushes and dwarf plum to protect from birds. Still some to do.
Moved a bench off the patio, having taken all the plants off it first
I am shattered. (Not enough sleep really. A lot of pain in the night.)

I hope everyone has a good day!
Last edited by Rachel on 08 Jun 2021 19:24, edited 2 times in total.
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Mark.
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Mark. »

Rachel wrote:
08 Jun 2021 08:57
Stephen Fry once came into the shop I worked and pretty much presented his Platinum card in a similar manner. It must have been just a few weeks before he did his infamous runner while performing in a run of a West End play...
Either you've mentioned this before, Rachel, or I heard from friends/colleagues that he behaved similarly in Heffers Bookshop in Cambridge! I like Fry, but I can imagine it :)

Talking of Am Ex, here's what happens when rebellious rock n rollers earn too much money... :roll:

https://youtu.be/-l2ljY2qDgQ
"I once thought that growing up *meant* smoking and drinking. It looked so good, but I don't want to die from it."
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Luna_ »

Guys.. I dropped out for a day and now I am baffled. Punch-ups on the bus and flexible friends???? :shock:
(I do remember something way back when about Barclay cards or something - I have been out of the country for 30 years now..).

My to do list somehow pales...

I'll be back later :D
Happy tuesday peeps ;)?
I still have Faith, but right now I'm reaching for the moon.

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Rachel
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Rachel »

Mark. wrote:
08 Jun 2021 10:29
Rachel wrote:
08 Jun 2021 08:57
Stephen Fry once came into the shop I worked and pretty much presented his Platinum card in a similar manner. It must have been just a few weeks before he did his infamous runner while performing in a run of a West End play...
Either you've mentioned this before, Rachel, or I heard from friends/colleagues that he behaved similarly in Heffers Bookshop in Cambridge! I like Fry, but I can imagine it :)

Talking of Am Ex, here's what happens when rebellious rock n rollers earn too much money... :roll:

https://youtu.be/-l2ljY2qDgQ
(I imagine doing an ad for) Am Ex certainly does pay the bills...

I just don't get Am Ex. You have to pay for the 'privilege' of having one (or used to have to), and most places in the UK don't accept it anyway.
Rachel

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Mark.
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Mark. »

Rachel wrote:
08 Jun 2021 19:16
(I imagine doing an ad for) Am Ex certainly does pay the bills...
;)? (::)
Rachel wrote:
08 Jun 2021 19:16
I just don't get Am Ex. You have to pay for the 'privilege' of having one (or used to have to), and most places in the UK don't accept it anyway.
I totally agree, Rachel! I remember a customer becoming very snotty/snooty in the music shop because we couldn't take it. Am Ex is a peculiarly self-defeating status symbol, isn't it? :?

:\: to Luna!
"I once thought that growing up *meant* smoking and drinking. It looked so good, but I don't want to die from it."
~ Marianne Faithfull

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DannyD
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Re: The To Do List

Post by DannyD »

Morning

To do
Make myself get up and walk the dog. This is the best part of a hot day.
Lidl for flowers for a friend. She's hosting a coffee morning/brunch.
Visit another friend for coffee (flowers for her as well?)
Return something via UPS. Never done this before.
I bought some white shorts yesterday. White. I ask you. What was I thinking? Return them....
Garden this afternoon. I think I need a scythe.

Have a good day y'all.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Luna_
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Luna_ »

Danny - I have 3 scythes. I will gladly give you one!

Flowers and stuff - oh my, it's been so long since physical visits - thanks for the reminder. I will go to a gathering of 3 - just me and a colleague and her hubby. I need to bring flowers or something.. Often I bring my home-made soap in a lovely packaging (that I craft myself)..

I have found myself translating a small(ish) 23 page report that I originally started writing in english, then the client wanted it in this language, so I did that. But now they want an english translation for international circulation (which I told them in the beginning would be a good idea).
Well OK - I have some of yesterday and the whole of today I will just Do It. There are a lot of figures etc. so it is not as bad as it sounds. Bit it is a way of procrastinating on another job I really need to think about - so I get paid for 1-2 days of mind-numbing stuff, while i get ready for the next think-job. I am actually finding my work tasks/areas to becoming wider now that we are having a shift to alternative energy sources. So in fact, what I have done for the last 30 years or so is really evolving into something totally else.

To Do
1. Finish translation job. I am on page 10 of 23...
2. Face the wrath of my son when I tell him when he comes home from school that he has to cut the grass before scuttling off to youth club. My son is starting to behave like a spoiled brat - especially after coming back from his dad's. He yells and kicks things when I ask him to do stuff. So I went on strike some weeks back. Son - you don't help with this/that - I have to do it - and it will take me all evening. So I can't make a nice dinner for you - so there you go. Some left-over bread in the cupboard and whatever is in the fridge. Oh, and by the way - you have to make your own lunch box (although I have done this with love up to now).
3. I hope this strategy will work in the long term. I got met with the "I don't care" thing. But my son loves his momma-cooked food - so I hope he will be "a-learning"...
4. No alcohol thoughts.
5. Pleaaasse... some sleep tonight. Massive intermittent nightmares and insomnia last night...

Happy wednesday peeps :\:
I still have Faith, but right now I'm reaching for the moon.

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Re: The To Do List

Post by DannyD »

Luna. Scythe. Yes please. I'll probably chop off my legs of course. Friend did suggest a strimmer - which would make more sense.

Hectic morning, and done everything (except return white shorts. So, they won't / don't stay white. So what?).

Done
Flowers to friends. Soap sounds lovely Luna. I don't have any.
Shopping. I took a friend to my alstroemeria nursery - big mistake. I bought another.
Swimming costume. Yes. That is the size I am. Avoid mirrors.

To do
Gardening. It's much too hot to be outside.
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Re: The To Do List

Post by DannyD »

Morning

And I'm struggling to start the day. Yawn..

To do
Wake up
Walk dog
Garden before it gets too hot (watch it rain instead now!).
Shop for daughter's birthday present.
Clean out fridge.

I was watching Martin the Money Man yesterday. He threw out a challenge to have no-spend days. I think I might try that. I waste a lot of money on impulse buys. Today I have birthday present shopping to do. If I also go grocery shopping, then hopefully I needn't spend money tomorrow.

Have a good day y'all
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Rachel
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Rachel »

Hello

I am imploding a bit and it' only 10.50ish. It's all a snowball effect. You know when one too many things is causing stress and then everything else, which might otherwise be small enough to not worry too much about, sticks to it and it gets bigger and unmanageable. But it's quite hard to unstick all those bits, sometimes and work out which ones really are worthy of worry.

So here’s an attempt, in no particular order:

The garden.... arrgh? Lots of things need planting out and potting on still. I could just give away all the plants, but some I have paid for, others I have spent months nurturing in. To do: sort out which ones I really want to continue nurturing either in pots or in the ground and give the rest away (or resign myself to them potentially dying in a state of root and pot bound agony.) I am taking tomorrow afternoon off to try and make headway. This should make me feel better but it's not doing.

mother: going into hospital today for a possible thrombosis. This is not happening in a '999' way but I do so hope they send her home again today because she has that postponed phone appointment about her Alzheimer’s tomorrow. Missing the last one meant a 6 week wait for this one and another delay on possible meds to slow down the progress.
I need to sort out the POA asap. I should have all the bits/signatures I need now.

House: it is untidy in the extreme and needs cleaning. It's gone beyond my tolerance point (which is really quite high.) Some help from a certain quarter would be good, here. I can't do everything.

work: ok this isn't too bad although one thing is worrying me, but worrying me less now I have reassurance from the expert. Work laptop has been behaving weirdly though in a way that stops me working.
On the plus side, it looks like we will not be forced to go back in the office on the 21st. Just 'encouraged'. Compulsory return to the office in September.

Greenhouse: foundation guy coming back on July 3rd. Too much trepidation and lack of confidence in him to be relieved, but this is a step in the right direction.

Hmm so it looks like mother and garden are the main things.

so to do today:
work - continue checking things and send of queries to expert \/
a bit of gardening: clear a small area and put dahlias in or dig another area and put small plants in. nope
Pot on some peppers and possibly the 2 remaining dahlias that are to do in pots \/ but there were 3 remaining dahlias. I did 2. Also potted a few other things- flowers and a tomato and a tomatillo - and put a few things in the ground. Watering is taking about half an hour at the moment...
go out for a walk to clear head. Pity small garden centre is 'on holiday'. They do good cake. I do need to diet though... Nope
ring mother's doctors. Mein Gott how many times now? I still don't have the result I need. - couldn't get through again. Also rang hospital multiple times. She is supposed to be going home tonight. I hope they can get a carer to go over and put her to bed. If they can't she'll have to stay in. Then there is the memory clinic issue. Sigh.
Maybe look at POA but I need to be calm and collected for this.


Danny how is the door situation going?
Luna I hope you manage to do your translation job in time.

Action, Serend, Pickles - I hope you are all ok.

I hope everyone's day is going well.
Last edited by Rachel on 10 Jun 2021 21:07, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Luna_ »

G'day all :\:
Yet another nightmare :( :evil:
I realise all my vivid/memorable dreams involve some kind of vehicle (=symbolic of my life) and they always are either just out of reach (yeah yeah, train doors closing just as I get there etc) - or terrifyingly out of control. Like being in a lorry hurtling downhill, out of control with no brakes, in yet another lorry. driving down some steep slope and turning over, on a snowmobile or quad bike rolling over and over down a hill, in a car hurtling towards a cliff etc etc. And almost always, that ex of mine would be there at the end, standing tall and smirking at the wreckage I had created.
Last night's variation was myself, my son and the veritable ex were in my son's small boat, but it became a flat-bottomed affair, and my ex insisted I drive it - but the steering wasn't working, so these huge waves came at us from the sides, and we capsized. But then suddenly we were in "my" boat - a larger closed-cabin affair (my mid-life crisis) - and the same thing, enormous waves coming from the side, the ex just standing staring at me as I struggled. And then we sank - but it turned out I had packed all my vital belongings in bags and they were onboard, so everything was gone. We got rescued by this big sailing boat, which was like these tourist jobs that sail along the coast. We were supposed to get food, but after ages of preparation, it turned out just to be bits of grass and weeds on the plates (I was cutting the grass yesterday, and I like to collect edible plants from the wild). Again ex just standing there smirking - but then he blatantly started having sex with the woman who was in the galley making the food, right in front of me - again whilst smirking at me. :o :shock: Fortunately I woke up then.
Oh my these dreams are utterly exhausting.
But having them means I at least got some sleep - although the effort of them sort of defeats the restful purpose of sleep...

Rachel, m'dear. You and I sound a bit alike in terms of the eternal piles of things to do, and a house a bit out of control, and noone to help with it all. Danny, I think you also are in this position. How about portioning things into the ol' manageable units thing? You said it yourself, but I agree, it is not always easy to do. My son found the remnants of an old bottle stuffed in a box of tools in the garage and went totally ballistic at me. He would not believe this is an old one I had forgotten about - and it caused me deep shame to realise he is snooping about looking for signs of me starting drinking again. I have a stash of 97% ethanol in my fieldwork box - and he was even interrogating me about those. I use those to pickle specimens, dear.

I tried to make amends by ironing this hat he had bought from cheapo Wish website. I said I'd like to leave it until tomorrow as I was tired and might not do a good job, but he was banging around screaming at me about the bottle. I felt I wasn't in a good place. How come my little son KNOWS what a bottle is and how come he was rootling around looking for stuff. He doesn't trust me - and there was I thinking I had a great relationship with him. He still remembers 4-5 years ago, I guess. I am mortally ashamed. :( :(
ps. the hat was such crap quality the fabric just dissolved under heat. So son once more got very mad at me. I will try to paint the bits where the crappy white plastic shows through where the crappy khaki "fabric" used to be.

Not feeling great today.

To do:
1. Put finishing touches to translating job and invoice it before I forget - then get into trouble from admin
2. start on next assignment
3. Try to have a good evening with son. I have to take off the panelling on 2 outdoor walls and re-do the insulation - so maybe I can bribe him to do some manly wielding of a large crowbar. But I need them taken off carefully, as someone else wants to re-use them to build a grill hut, so it needs to be done gently, not in fits of anger.
I still have Faith, but right now I'm reaching for the moon.

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Rachel
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Rachel »

Sorry about that, Luna. Horrible. This is part of the territory alas. Bottles will stop turning up in the end and distrust will turn to trust. But it can take quite a long time.

It sounds like you are really stuck re your ex if you are having such recurrent dreams about him. I suppose as long as he is in your life it's hard to move forward. I have a friend who was in a similar situation. Her husband (who frankly was a **** infidelity aside - choose your insult) left her for a younger model and then used the then-kids to get at her.... he behaved as if she were the guilty party. He favoured one child, ignored the other and let both down on a regular basis. Even gave one a present then took it back at one point. Neither child saw much of him after he left, I think. (That classic last minute cancellation thing.) He gave no financial help, even though he is affluent (always made sure they had separate bank accounts) and she was in a low paid job, but she did manage to get the house in the end at least. I think she is only now beginning to recover a bit now the children have left home - ten years on. There has to be a better way, or maybe not. I hope so.

I hope at least today improves for you and you manage to have dream-free sleep tonight. <:)>

I do try to divide things up into manageable chunks but when I am in snowball effect mode, it's hard not to see the bigger (awful) picture. Doing little bits seems to have no visible results. Sure you get to tick things off, but that just isn't enough. But one has to (try to) be realistic. I think I also need to try to reinstate my day of no obligation once a week. My thoughts are turning to cake again right now... ;)
Rachel

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