Online Alcohol Therapy |  Do you need professional help? |  Alcoholism & Recovery Articles |  Self Help Resources

Depression, Bipolar and Other Personality Issues.

Specific emotional or mental health problems, like anxiety, depression, insomnia, confidence etc. Along with bodily health, exercise, nutrition.
User avatar
James
Posts: 145
Joined: 26 Feb 2008 19:21
Contact:

Depression, Bipolar and Other Personality Issues.

Post by James » 06 Mar 2008 16:06

Today (Thursday) is my 9th day without a drink. For the first few days I did suffer the effects of withdrawal (stomach pains, headaches, tiredness etc) and only the first 3 days I had a serious craving, but that very quickly disappeared.

But since yesterday I have been feeling really depressed and have no motivation whatsoever for anything. I do have a few problems going on (I won’t mention because it’s not appropriate to this site). Normally I’m quite laid back and don’t tend to worry too much about things. I try to stay positive and keep a smile on my face, but since I’ve stopped drinking things are really starting to get to me and I’m becoming quite anxious.
I just wondered whether this feeling of depression and anxiety was another symptom of withdrawal?

From many of the posts I’ve read anxiety is a massive problem, but that seems to be related only to combating the addiction and fighting that craving. But for me the craving has gone – completely. I know it’s still early days, but right now I just don’t feel the need for a drink and am quite happy for it to stay that way.

Perhaps it’s because now I’ve stopped drinking, my mind is actually working properly and I can now think clearly and see my problems in perspective? I don’t have that numbness that alcohol gives you, that false sense of being I suppose. When I was drunk I thought everything would sort itself out and the problems would go away, but obviously that doesn’t happen does it? I used the alcohol as an escape, but more importantly an excuse to avoid all the crap going on. I’ve said that before, but now I’ve woken up to the fact that all my problems are real and aren’t just going to go away.

I misjudged what was ahead of me. I thought that once I stopped the drinking (albeit a massive achievement in itself) I would be able to start enjoying life again. It didn’t occur to me I’d be left with the huge mess I’d brought upon myself through the drinking.
This is going to be tougher than I first thought. I need to re-train my mind and move away from the thought process of the alcoholic.

God I’m starting to ramble now, sorry guys. This is what happens when I have too much time on my hands.
Reading back I think I’ve answered my question already, but what are your thoughts?
Together we're invincible

HIGH HOPES

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by HIGH HOPES » 06 Mar 2008 16:20

I think you are totally right and also very brave for admitting that you have more hurdles ahead of you (without saying youve turned to the booze again). Well done on the nine days. I have guessed that im a drinker to block out problems but the thing is i dont actually have any apart from major financial ones made worse with spending £15 per day on ale and fags but hey ho. What i mean is i think i drink to block out the past or it could be the financial stuff i just cant put my finger on it. Mind you over the past year, ive doubled my intake and this coincides with me and my husbands working opposite ends of the day, ie never seeing each other.

One thing for sure, the world was a lovely place when i was downing all that ale, temporary as it was and im sure others would agree with that. But the affects it had on my life on the whole were becoming very damaging, still are. The physical and mental side was just not worth it. Now youve been strong enough to not only stop drinking but to actually get to the point already of no cravings is fabulous. Keep strong for the days ahead. What can i say on the problems though, you have to face them with or without beer and they are probably more managable tackled without it, which is difficult to get our heads around. like you say the depressive feelings could simply be that you are facing up to stuff, keep a check on it and come back if it gets any worse. Is there anyone you can talk to?

sue
Posts: 1036
Joined: 02 Feb 2008 20:34
Last Drink Date: 10 Jul 2011
Location: Berkshire
Contact:

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by sue » 06 Mar 2008 21:29

James, Very well done for getting to day 9. Know what you mean about feeling depressed when giving up alcohol. After the euphoria of actually giving up for a week, with me it was a sense of "is that it?", almost a feeling of emptiness. I expected my whole world to turn round in a short space of time but it doesn't seem to happen like that. Maybe one of the long time abstainers could be of more help. One thing I did notice about cravings though. Like you, whilst feeling down I didn't really have any. It was when things were going well and that that voice came into my head, "life would be even better with a drink". Just a little warning, it catches you unawares. Well done again Sue xx

User avatar
ika
Posts: 434
Joined: 20 Feb 2008 12:03
Location: north of London .. near enough
Contact:

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by ika » 06 Mar 2008 21:56

Hi James

I was wondering where did you go ... depression .. yes I think that what you mean it is you can't escape your problems and you have no choice now but to face them... and I bet it is not going to take few days to resolve it... we all hide in alcohol from diffrent things.. after not drinking for more then two weeks I am waking up to some finnancial issues and other crap which I succesfully ignored for months ... I bet if i had stopped just few months ago I would not have the shit to deal with like I have now .. .. but ... thre is no turning back and slowly we will get there ... make little steps .. because life is like a puzzle you would think that you are not moving foreword but you do and then one day all those little steps will make a huge jump for you ... one letter every day or a phone call to try to sort out a mess .. and all will be well ... I feel like everybody ignors me at the moment on other topics so I am considering dropping out of the forum for few weeks .. and I seem not to be able to help all those new peope coming into the site anyway lots of love James ... you are a great person ... with a great dog... and you are very kind ...and helpful <:)> All the Best if you want you can e mail me every now and then ...
Gliding is an impression ...under the water the little legs have to work very hard

User avatar
Anna
Posts: 1036
Joined: 01 Feb 2008 18:05
Contact:

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by Anna » 06 Mar 2008 22:36

Ika,
please stay..! I think we all post things all over the place which don't get a 'reply' as such...but they might be useful to other people and i , at least , tend to find that wittering on about things helps to clarify ,to myself if no-one else, what I really think.
I really find so much in your posts which I can identify with and which are so similar to my own experience.
If you decide not to come back for a while then i really wish you all the best ...you're a great gal!

<:)>

Lots of love,
Anna.x

User avatar
Anna
Posts: 1036
Joined: 01 Feb 2008 18:05
Contact:

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by Anna » 06 Mar 2008 22:43

James...I know exactly what you mean about this being touger than thought it would be.
Not so much great elation as flat, fed-up and aimless. I posted something on todays about the need for a 'plan' and I think Ika's post about little steps ids right.
I've decided to actually time-table myself next week otherwise I just end up listless and bored.
Take care,
Anna.x

User avatar
James
Posts: 145
Joined: 26 Feb 2008 19:21
Contact:

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by James » 07 Mar 2008 14:43

You’re absolutely right HH (LC), the booze does make things seem a whole lot better than they really are. I always knew the problems were there, I just didn’t want them to be there, so I drank. The more I drank the worse things got, but I didn’t care because I was, well I thought I was, happy.

Like Sue said,
with me it was a sense of "is that it?", almost a feeling of emptiness. I expected my whole world to turn round in a short space of time but it doesn't seem to happen like that.
That’s exactly how I’m feeling now. I’ve been dragging my feet for so long, I now have to be adult about this and start to get my life back on track.

Ika you’re a star :D You have this gift of expressing yourself so simply yet fabulously eccentrically (try saying that when your pi$$ed!!) Actually no, don’t do that!!! You have a fantastic command of the English language to get your point across, with your easy to understand one-liners and analogies.
You’re right about taking small steps. It makes everything look manageable, as opposed to me hitting a brick wall head on and seeing a mountain of sh!t ahead of me with no end in sight. (My head must have gone right through that brick wall to be able to see that mountain) :shock:

This is it, the start of my “new life” for want of an expression. Time to get planning then, Anna thanks, I’ll check out your post. Was it in Gen Chat? I’ll find it somewhere!!
Together we're invincible

User avatar
Anna
Posts: 1036
Joined: 01 Feb 2008 18:05
Contact:

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by Anna » 07 Mar 2008 16:42

hi Marshy and james,

I understand entirely how you're both feeling....its pretty hard having got to this stage to then have to rebuild yourself.

Today hasn't been great for me and its easy to feel pretty low about things...but, a side of me which I haven't seen for a while is slowly making a comeback....its the bit that just says' b@ll@cks to all that!',rips into things,gets them done..is completely fearless, decides to do something and then just does it. I've found in the past that if you just throw yourself at something, you never know what will happen....sometimes you go 'Splat!! but sometimes a sequence starts and you're off...life changes!'

I think its time to try and be fearless again....

Love,
Anna.x

HIGH HOPES

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by HIGH HOPES » 07 Mar 2008 17:33

James you really sound like your getting stronger and stonger by the day and mind strong too which i envy but which you should be totally proud of. Keep the attitude up and you will get to where you want to be, no matter how long that takes Lcxxx

User avatar
James
Posts: 145
Joined: 26 Feb 2008 19:21
Contact:

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by James » 07 Mar 2008 17:47

Thanks Jaycee, you’re right – it is a bit daunting! I don’t plan to jump straight in all guns blazing. I’m going to start next week with my plan of action; it’ll also keep my mind busy!


Hi Marshy, yea some games would be great!! What kind are they? Would be especially good for next weekend because I’ve been volunteered (note that I didn’t volunteer!!) to look after my nephew. The best way would probably be to send it direct to my email (I’ll PM my address to you).

And Anna, I wish I could be fearless! Normally I try not to worry too much about things, but I still have that “what if” syndrome in the back of my mind. That’s due to a lack of self confidence which I have always suffered, it’s just part of me.

Thanks guys xx
Together we're invincible

User avatar
byron
Posts: 1766
Joined: 27 Feb 2008 01:59
Last Drink Date: 17 Nov 2010
Contact:

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by byron » 07 Mar 2008 20:29

Was just about to through little one in bath when noticed this thread and i just wanted to say.

Ika you dont go anywhere please I need you never mind anyone else. I do get confused with all the posts and struggle to keep up sometimes.

James - That happened to me when I stopped for a couple of weeks - got sooooooooo low and was p......d because I thought i would start turning into the nice 'stepford' wife Im supposed to be. No- flat a mess, went to work with odd shoes on (honest). Served a dinner of beans on toast for five days and gave it a different title each day ('cause i couldnt be bothered to think about cooking). My little one loved me because he was allowed to watch CITV twenty four seven. I think I would have given him a ciggarette if he'd asked (i would have taken money out his piggy bank for it, wasnt that far gone).

Any way sooooooooo low. Still am but got load of my chest today here and it helped. hope it helps you to.

ok so little one stood by the door with a shark under one arm, submarine under the other and that 'bath me or Ill call child line' look on his face.

OK ALREADY! see you guys, keep strong (for me I need you) :D

j
Action is the antidote to despair.

User avatar
Mike
Posts: 2154
Joined: 02 Feb 2008 16:14
Location: lurking
Contact:

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by Mike » 08 Mar 2008 00:10

Hi James,
I'm afraid I caught up on this one rather late on in the corresponence. Depression. I think you have lost the high highs but also the very low lows. The graph is flatter, your mood more even. You no longer have the alcohol to take you away from the tedium of daily existence which can be depressing. You need to find an alcohol substitute, some form of entertainment or diversion perhaps. Obviously not pubs.

Hi Ika,
Please don't go. Your input is excellent. Don't go anywhere.

Mike.

icarus
Posts: 169
Joined: 02 Mar 2008 05:10
Contact:

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by icarus » 08 Mar 2008 00:53

I am really impressed with this site. I wake up every morning now and get inspiration for the day from it. I have been sober for about 20 days now. I am absolutely committed to staying sober and never have a single drop of alcohol again. I was becoming everything that I have never wanted to be in my life and most of all...I lost my light, hope and optimistic, bold spirit. This year I am changing everything in my life. The funny thing is, is that I made so many crazy decisions as a drunk that now that I am sober, I am questioning everything!!! The depression has been crippling and to make matters worst I am in the midst of moving back home with my Mother. I have three weeks to pack and right now its so hard to even do laundry. I think how in the past I would have bought a bottle, turned on some music and made a private party out of packing and cleaning. Now, It`s just me. I see how I am progressively getting more motivated and less anxious but still, I feel like I am not even an adult right now. You know what I mean? The only choice right now is that I put my health first along with my sobriety as a priority and pray that it will all get better.

User avatar
Cheryl
Posts: 526
Joined: 02 Feb 2008 09:22
Contact:

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by Cheryl » 08 Mar 2008 08:46

Hello Icarus,
Dont think we have met before!
Welcome,Its a big acheivement you have done,and yes it can be frightening at times,depression and overwhelming feelings of 'Am I gonna stay like this now'
can be a downfall,but keep at it,Im sure you feel stronger now than ever before,dont ever give up,you will win this battle,you are proving that already! P lease join in on the daily thread,Im am SURE your input would be very encouraging to others.....

User avatar
byron
Posts: 1766
Joined: 27 Feb 2008 01:59
Last Drink Date: 17 Nov 2010
Contact:

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by byron » 08 Mar 2008 15:27

Icarus

your post was really inspiring. I can totally relate to making a party of doing chores I find tough with a bottle and music.

Right now I need to do the housework. I hate it. any other time i would have bought a drink put the music on and hey presto. I know how without alcohol i feel more and that can mean feeling very down. Even housework is so much harder right now.

You have shown how someone can still feel down and be able to put health and sobriety first.
I read somewhere (an article on the wall of alcohol support place) that without alcohol we start going through an 'in - between ' phase. its the part where the alcohol has been taken and there has been nothing to replase it. It is a scarey place and we can feel very bereft but it ends. It can take a long time being 'in-between' but you reminded me so much of that article that I read.

You are 'in-between' and you have so much insight to know that it is going to end. I just think the way you are coping is wonderful.

Im no where near in - between and even the few days without makes me scared sometimes.

a pleasure to meet you
Julie
Action is the antidote to despair.

HIGH HOPES

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by HIGH HOPES » 08 Mar 2008 19:26

Hi icarus, i just wanted to say how impressed i am with what you have done, it can be a lonely life without the bottle, but far lonelier with it (if you know what i mean), i am looking to give up altogether i did it for 3 years so i know it can be done, this time its for health/kids so even more determined. Keep going ive taken some more strength from you lcxxxxxxx

icarus
Posts: 169
Joined: 02 Mar 2008 05:10
Contact:

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by icarus » 10 Mar 2008 09:15

Julie,

I found that concentrating on my new diet is really helping me cope right now. I am trying to just do everything different or opposite from before. I am in the entertainment bizz so it is easy to have down time by yourself. So now, I find myself reading more and more about addiction and how to overcome depression. I am zero-ing in on hope and faith. Like you said the in-between stage is happening and just knowing that there IS the possibility to overcome all of this, keeps me moving. We have to!! I know my life is so much more important because I am feeling the exact contrast of how I did when I was drunk. Alcohol was poison to my being, almost like some sort of vampire sucking the the life from me and convincing me that I was worthless. What is making sense to me is if I put so much thought into hating myself, why not try the exact opposite! I am plagued with negative thoughts about myself but now I am trying to practice zapping them away and then look at the sky or appreciate how the whites of my eyes are now glowing. For me, its keeping it simple and I want to just trust that its right so far. So may have overcome this, and I believe that we are just as capable. Keep going and hold on. Tell me how your life improves!!!

icarus
Posts: 169
Joined: 02 Mar 2008 05:10
Contact:

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by icarus » 10 Mar 2008 09:25

Oh, I forgot to say that the depression is getting better. But I still find myself stunned by a moment of hurt or a memory that will just put me into a sad state. Does anyone pray? If you do, what do say? Thanks for everyones encouragement....it is sooooo helpful and inspiring.

User avatar
emma
Posts: 387
Joined: 25 Feb 2008 13:16
Last Drink Date: 05 May 2019
First Sober Date: 06 May 2019
Contact:

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by emma » 10 Mar 2008 10:17

Hi Icarus,

Well done for doing so well. This is day 1 for me (yet again) but I really want to do it this time. Yes I do pray alot, mostly at night in bed before falling to sleep. I run on about loads of things and ask for help to get me to beat this cycle of drinking/notdrinking battle and to help me stay in the non drinking mode! It does help me alot actually. I think that is a really good point about taking all the negative thoughts you have about yourself and turning them into positive, I am gonna try that (i have lots of neg thoughts about myself today). You are really encouraging thankyou.

Emma x x
AF 2011 No. 55

icarus
Posts: 169
Joined: 02 Mar 2008 05:10
Contact:

Re: Depression on withdrawal of alcohol

Post by icarus » 10 Mar 2008 15:38

Emma,
Press on...tho some days are tough. Just believe that it will get better. I feel like with what I have conjured up from drinking that nothing can be worse than what I have been thru. I am kind of welcoming the struggle so I can practice being strong. Just battling how I got here is hard enough. Getting past it is going to be the adventure. Our lives are worth so much. We got to believe we are better than this. Congrats for starting!

Post Reply