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Quit Lit

Specific emotional or mental health problems, like anxiety, depression, insomnia, confidence etc. Along with bodily health, exercise, nutrition.
SoberSelf
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by SoberSelf » 04 Nov 2019 00:17

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Last edited by SoberSelf on 14 Feb 2020 11:05, edited 1 time in total.

lucy63
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by lucy63 » 04 Nov 2019 01:01

thanks so much SoberBoots! good point to re read some chapters which I did. am feeling ok at the moment-the craving did indeed pass. i feel like I get it, but maybe i just get it intellectually. When my car decided to drive to the liquor store-that is what it felt like! there was no battle in my mind or conscious thought process-it was just an automatic reaction. then my conscious brain came back and was like wait a minute. then the battle in my brain began and i began obsessing about just going to the store. not sure if i am expressing myself well, but i did indeed need willpower to keep from going there. so i read some then took a shower. then i contemplated what happened. seems i have a strong association with wine being needed to fix me after a negative experience. does the wine cure the stress or actually relax me? after re reading AC it reminded me heck no that’s actually never happened! all wine has ever done for me is shut my brain down for a few hours then make me feel tired, bloated and like crap the next day. ugh. rambling i am sure but thanks so much for your insight and feedback. guess i need to do some more work on this method. definitely not feeling rejoiceful that i am free but am not feeling drunk so that’s something. so maybe with some awareness i am rejecting and unraveling the BS -AC says “separating truth from illusion”. my fave quote from the book that suits me right now is “Alcohol does absolutely nothing for you whatsoever”. that really keeps it simple. perfect. Thanks again for your support soberboots!!!

Jj123
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by Jj123 » 04 Nov 2019 05:47

Well done Lucy you’ve inspired me to get on and read Alan kerrs book read the first chapter liked the concept then got distracted!! I’ll keep checking in to this thread. JJ
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.
Dalai Lama

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SoberBoots
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by SoberBoots » 04 Nov 2019 09:31

The key with Allen Carr is to not treat it as a "read" - it's a self help programme. You have to really examine yourself and not move on to the next chapter until you've really accepted the one you're on. The central theme is that alcohol does nothing but harm you - so if you fully believe and accept this then you won't want to drink. I had to put myself through it twice before it "stuck" properly. This online course follows a similar approach and I think it's helpful http://www.rational.org/index.php?id=36 a slightly different way to top up the thinking.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

lucy63
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by lucy63 » 05 Nov 2019 13:46

Yeah JJ! look forward to hearing your thoughts. and thx again soberboots. Such good advice to really spend time contemplating each point. I am finding i need to spend more time contemplating and smashing the illusions-the ones in the book and my own personal twists. you are so right. still AF.

SoberSelf
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by SoberSelf » 05 Nov 2019 15:47

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Last edited by SoberSelf on 14 Feb 2020 11:06, edited 1 time in total.

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SoberBoots
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by SoberBoots » 05 Nov 2019 21:17

But there were many occasions when I chased this feeling all evening and never got there. And now I get this feeling regularly without alcohol, and it’s less short-lived.
Good thinking. It's the nature of addiction to chase that buzz, consuming ever greater quantities in search of it as it becomes more elusive. In the course chase of that we totally lose perspective, not taking heed of the damage we're causing, or realsiing that we what we get at best is a mild rush or a mild anaesthetic, which we can achieve in other ways.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

SoberSelf
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by SoberSelf » 06 Nov 2019 09:09

Thanks SoberBoots. I always appreciate your posts.

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kath
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by kath » 11 Dec 2019 16:53

Hi does anyone know of a good self help book that helps you appreciate what you have and stop pining after what you haven’t. My husband if spending his life disappeared instead of enjoying it!
one day or day one.

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silvergirl
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by silvergirl » 12 Dec 2019 18:00

Hiya kath :\:

Maybe something mindfulnessy?! Focusing on the present moment (and what’s there in front of him) rather than getting caught up in thoughts of what’s not there if you catch my drift. Or gratitude, it’s amazing how much we do have to be grateful for which we can take for granted.

I’ve got no recommendations, sorry, but maybe someone will be along in a minute with a lovely list for you!

Best wishes,
Sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

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kath
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by kath » 12 Dec 2019 21:51

silvergirl wrote:
12 Dec 2019 18:00
Hiya kath :\:

Maybe something mindfulnessy?! Focusing on the present moment (and what’s there in front of him) rather than getting caught up in thoughts of what’s not there if you catch my drift. Or gratitude, it’s amazing how much we do have to be grateful for which we can take for granted.

I’ve got no recommendations, sorry, but maybe someone will be along in a minute with a lovely list for you!

Best wishes,
Sgx

Hi SG
Thanks! I’ve tried pointing out to him all the good things he has. I’ll keep at it. ;)?
one day or day one.

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Winkler
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by Winkler » 12 Dec 2019 23:12

Is he a ‘dry drunk’ kath, as in hasn’t addressed his issues yet as to why he developed a drink problem?
Don’t they say being an alcoholic/addict isolates you whereas the opposite is to be connected and engaged?

Maybe he’s not found his thing yet? Does he have hobbies and pastimes he enjoys? How does he fill his time?

Lots of questions, sorry! :)
The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see - Winston Churchill

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SoberBoots
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by SoberBoots » 13 Dec 2019 18:37

A lot of people recommend Steven Melemis I want to change my life -didn't do that much for me, but as it's definitely different strokes for different folks, might be worth him trying? I've noticed that a lot of men seem to really get on with it.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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kath
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by kath » 15 Dec 2019 11:53

Thanks winkler and soberboots I’ll take a look at the hat book.
Winkler yeah maybe he needs a hobby rather than putting all his thoughts into work all the time.
Yes he’s dry and he has addressed why he was an alcoholic but is not Necessarily over it.
Xx
one day or day one.

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Avocado
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by Avocado » 16 Jan 2020 21:08

Just found this thread, great timing as I'm in need of a new audiable book! Can anyone recommend something?
So far I've read/ listened to: Allan Carr's easyway, Catherine Gray the unexpected joy of being sober, the sober diaries and Annie Graces books this naked mind and the alcohol experiment ( I didn't actually finish the alcohol experiment as I couldn't fully concentrate on it, it didn't keep me interested unfortunately)
I loved the sober diaries writing style and humour and Catherine Grays book was fab too - listened to both of those twice. Oh also recently finished 'the chimp paradox' recommended by someone on brighteye. Not quit lit but I found it very interesting and could relate it to alcohol addiction, was a very enjoyable listen. ;)?

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SueDenim
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by SueDenim » 16 Jan 2020 21:50

Hi
I am not a fan of QuitLit, as I think that reading it just reminds us of what we are missing, in the same way that reading books about food would be difficult if we were on a diet. I am also very cynical about people making a lot of money out of the misery of others.

However. If it's an audiobook you are looking for, I did find that Craig Beck's Quit Drinking Forever was very good. It is hypnosis, and you listen to it in bed, or when you are alone and relaxed, and I found it really helpful, as I am a bad sleeper anyway, and it helps you to get off to sleep as well as hypnotising against drinking. You can get it on Audible, and it's not very expensive. I wouldn't bother with any of the others, though (or just buy one of his audiobooks, whichever it is) as the hypnosis element in all of them is the same, which is annoying and a bit of a swizz, really.

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