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Quit Lit

Specific emotional or mental health problems, like anxiety, depression, insomnia, confidence etc. Along with bodily health, exercise, nutrition.
SoberSelf
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by SoberSelf » 04 Nov 2019 00:17

Hi Lucy,

There are more experienced people than me on this site but I'm willing to try and help if I can.

What are you missing? I think it depends. Were there any parts of the book that you just didn't buy? Maybe you were not convinced when he says that alcohol doesn't taste good? That it doesn't make you happy? That it doesn't relieve stress? If there was a chapter you felt sceptical about, maybe re-read that, or chat about it on here.

I think he tells you not to be surprised if you experience cravings in the days after giving up. Maybe the conscious part of your mind has fully understood and accepted everything he says in the book. In that case the cravings are just the less-conscious part of your mind which haven't quite caught up with the conscious part. So remind yourself that the conscious part is the part you identify with, and that the unconscious part that craves a drink isn't really you. That craving is just the after-effect of drinking. If you don't feed it booze it will go away. Allen Carr would tell you to rejoice that the drink-craving-subconscious-thing is dying because you are not feeding it, and soon you won't have to listen to it again.

lucy63
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by lucy63 » 04 Nov 2019 01:01

thanks so much SoberBoots! good point to re read some chapters which I did. am feeling ok at the moment-the craving did indeed pass. i feel like I get it, but maybe i just get it intellectually. When my car decided to drive to the liquor store-that is what it felt like! there was no battle in my mind or conscious thought process-it was just an automatic reaction. then my conscious brain came back and was like wait a minute. then the battle in my brain began and i began obsessing about just going to the store. not sure if i am expressing myself well, but i did indeed need willpower to keep from going there. so i read some then took a shower. then i contemplated what happened. seems i have a strong association with wine being needed to fix me after a negative experience. does the wine cure the stress or actually relax me? after re reading AC it reminded me heck no that’s actually never happened! all wine has ever done for me is shut my brain down for a few hours then make me feel tired, bloated and like crap the next day. ugh. rambling i am sure but thanks so much for your insight and feedback. guess i need to do some more work on this method. definitely not feeling rejoiceful that i am free but am not feeling drunk so that’s something. so maybe with some awareness i am rejecting and unraveling the BS -AC says “separating truth from illusion”. my fave quote from the book that suits me right now is “Alcohol does absolutely nothing for you whatsoever”. that really keeps it simple. perfect. Thanks again for your support soberboots!!!

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Re: Quit Lit

Post by Jj123 » 04 Nov 2019 05:47

Well done Lucy you’ve inspired me to get on and read Alan kerrs book read the first chapter liked the concept then got distracted!! I’ll keep checking in to this thread. JJ
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.
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SoberBoots
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by SoberBoots » 04 Nov 2019 09:31

The key with Allen Carr is to not treat it as a "read" - it's a self help programme. You have to really examine yourself and not move on to the next chapter until you've really accepted the one you're on. The central theme is that alcohol does nothing but harm you - so if you fully believe and accept this then you won't want to drink. I had to put myself through it twice before it "stuck" properly. This online course follows a similar approach and I think it's helpful http://www.rational.org/index.php?id=36 a slightly different way to top up the thinking.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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lucy63
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by lucy63 » 05 Nov 2019 13:46

Yeah JJ! look forward to hearing your thoughts. and thx again soberboots. Such good advice to really spend time contemplating each point. I am finding i need to spend more time contemplating and smashing the illusions-the ones in the book and my own personal twists. you are so right. still AF.

SoberSelf
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by SoberSelf » 05 Nov 2019 15:47

The buzz

Without doubt, one of the reasons I drank was the pursuit of a buzz. According to Allen Carr and similar authors this buzz is another illusion. Like the taste thing, this is easy to see in the case of smoking but a bit harder to see in the case of drinking. Cigarettes give a very slight nicotine rush which only lasts a minute or two, and most of the cigarettes a smoker smokes have no detectable effect. But alcohol has a much more pronounced sensory and emotional effect. There’s nothing illusory about the effect, so the illusion must be that it’s pleasant. I think I get this, so let’s see…

We are told that alcohol is a depressant and my personal experience confirms that. Sometimes a couple of drinks has taken me instantly from a neutral mood to a state of high irritability or depression. Hangovers can be accompanied by very dark thoughts. And regular drinking certainly seems to dampen my mood in general (since stopping drinking I’ve been much, much happier).

All this is true, but isn’t it nonetheless the case that alcohol provides a pleasant mood-enhancing buzz at least some of the time? It has certainly seemed to me that a few drinks have given me a feeling of brightness, optimism, and cheerfulness, maybe a feeling that I will be able to sort out all my problems and lead a more satisfying life. But there were many occasions when I chased this feeling all evening and never got there. And now I get this feeling regularly without alcohol, and it’s less short-lived. Conclusion: that bright, happy feeling is something you get naturally if you don’t drink, but which a drinker can only get when drinking; stop drinking and get that feeling more often.

But aren’t nights out, weddings, parties, etc. so much fun because of all the booze? Plausibly, the feelings of fun/happiness are due to what you’re doing alongside drinking (seeing friends, dancing, etc.) Imagine waiting in a bleak train station on your own with no entertainment, and only a bottle of wine for company. Would that be fun? Would you be euphoric? Or just inebriated?

What about that soaring feeling following rapid consumption of multiple units? I certainly thought I enjoyed that feeling. Annie Grace says it’s just a sugar rush. In any case, it’s short lived, and all it leaves behind is inebriation.

I remember my first sips of alcohol as a child. I didn’t enjoy the effect. And ex-drinkers report not liking the effect anymore. (I think this is so important to remember. I keep reminding myself that long-term ex-drinkers find the smell of alcohol and the effect of alcohol unpleasant. They are the ones who can perceive these things clearly because they are no longer addicted. Even if it doesn’t always seem that way to me now, it will come to seem that way to me if I keep avoiding alcohol.)

What alcohol offers is not happiness, euphoria or anything like it. All it offers is inebriation. That is, a deadening of the senses and the mind, and lower mood - certainly in the long-term, but probably also in the short-term.

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SoberBoots
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by SoberBoots » 05 Nov 2019 21:17

But there were many occasions when I chased this feeling all evening and never got there. And now I get this feeling regularly without alcohol, and it’s less short-lived.
Good thinking. It's the nature of addiction to chase that buzz, consuming ever greater quantities in search of it as it becomes more elusive. In the course chase of that we totally lose perspective, not taking heed of the damage we're causing, or realsiing that we what we get at best is a mild rush or a mild anaesthetic, which we can achieve in other ways.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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SoberSelf
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by SoberSelf » 06 Nov 2019 09:09

Thanks SoberBoots. I always appreciate your posts.

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kath
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by kath » 11 Dec 2019 16:53

Hi does anyone know of a good self help book that helps you appreciate what you have and stop pining after what you haven’t. My husband if spending his life disappeared instead of enjoying it!
one day or day one.

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silvergirl
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by silvergirl » 12 Dec 2019 18:00

Hiya kath :\:

Maybe something mindfulnessy?! Focusing on the present moment (and what’s there in front of him) rather than getting caught up in thoughts of what’s not there if you catch my drift. Or gratitude, it’s amazing how much we do have to be grateful for which we can take for granted.

I’ve got no recommendations, sorry, but maybe someone will be along in a minute with a lovely list for you!

Best wishes,
Sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

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kath
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by kath » 12 Dec 2019 21:51

silvergirl wrote:
12 Dec 2019 18:00
Hiya kath :\:

Maybe something mindfulnessy?! Focusing on the present moment (and what’s there in front of him) rather than getting caught up in thoughts of what’s not there if you catch my drift. Or gratitude, it’s amazing how much we do have to be grateful for which we can take for granted.

I’ve got no recommendations, sorry, but maybe someone will be along in a minute with a lovely list for you!

Best wishes,
Sgx

Hi SG
Thanks! I’ve tried pointing out to him all the good things he has. I’ll keep at it. ;)?
one day or day one.

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Winkler
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by Winkler » 12 Dec 2019 23:12

Is he a ‘dry drunk’ kath, as in hasn’t addressed his issues yet as to why he developed a drink problem?
Don’t they say being an alcoholic/addict isolates you whereas the opposite is to be connected and engaged?

Maybe he’s not found his thing yet? Does he have hobbies and pastimes he enjoys? How does he fill his time?

Lots of questions, sorry! :)
Alcohol is an addictive poison

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SoberBoots
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by SoberBoots » 13 Dec 2019 18:37

A lot of people recommend Steven Melemis I want to change my life -didn't do that much for me, but as it's definitely different strokes for different folks, might be worth him trying? I've noticed that a lot of men seem to really get on with it.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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kath
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by kath » 15 Dec 2019 11:53

Thanks winkler and soberboots I’ll take a look at the hat book.
Winkler yeah maybe he needs a hobby rather than putting all his thoughts into work all the time.
Yes he’s dry and he has addressed why he was an alcoholic but is not Necessarily over it.
Xx
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Avocado
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by Avocado » 16 Jan 2020 21:08

Just found this thread, great timing as I'm in need of a new audiable book! Can anyone recommend something?
So far I've read/ listened to: Allan Carr's easyway, Catherine Gray the unexpected joy of being sober, the sober diaries and Annie Graces books this naked mind and the alcohol experiment ( I didn't actually finish the alcohol experiment as I couldn't fully concentrate on it, it didn't keep me interested unfortunately)
I loved the sober diaries writing style and humour and Catherine Grays book was fab too - listened to both of those twice. Oh also recently finished 'the chimp paradox' recommended by someone on brighteye. Not quit lit but I found it very interesting and could relate it to alcohol addiction, was a very enjoyable listen. ;)?

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SueDenim
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Re: Quit Lit

Post by SueDenim » 16 Jan 2020 21:50

Hi
I am not a fan of QuitLit, as I think that reading it just reminds us of what we are missing, in the same way that reading books about food would be difficult if we were on a diet. I am also very cynical about people making a lot of money out of the misery of others.

However. If it's an audiobook you are looking for, I did find that Craig Beck's Quit Drinking Forever was very good. It is hypnosis, and you listen to it in bed, or when you are alone and relaxed, and I found it really helpful, as I am a bad sleeper anyway, and it helps you to get off to sleep as well as hypnotising against drinking. You can get it on Audible, and it's not very expensive. I wouldn't bother with any of the others, though (or just buy one of his audiobooks, whichever it is) as the hypnosis element in all of them is the same, which is annoying and a bit of a swizz, really.

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