The To Do List

Specific emotional or mental health problems, like anxiety, depression, insomnia, confidence etc. Along with bodily health, exercise, nutrition.
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DannyD
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Re: The To Do List

Post by DannyD »

Cross posting. Sorry to read about Basil. Back to the vet?

If husband can start the mower for you, could you cut the grass? Maybe time to invest in a smaller, lighter mower?

If it stays dry, I might cut the lawn.

Or I might not.
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Rachel
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Rachel »

re. the lawn mower, I begged him to get one that I could use when we bought the new one a couple of years ago, but he refused. There's no way he's going to let me buy a new one. (Yes, I can just buy one but it's really not worth the arguments that will ensue.) Mowing the lawn is the only thing he does in the 100x40ft garden...apart from complain about what I have and haven't done.
Rachel

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Action
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Action »

Afternoon all.

Rachel…I hope Basil has ventured out from under your husbands bed now. Mowers are a contentious subject here too. I brought a flymo, which was light but partner hates it. It was supposed to be easier to use but he doesn't think so :roll: Interesting dreams there! :D Have you looked up their meanings … I find it fascinating sometimes to look mine up.

Danny, oh dear. Do you have any Dioralyte? That might help pick you up a bit, it sounds like you might be running on empty and need a top up. Definitely drive to work Danny, help yourself as much as possible <:)>

Brother is still here and partner. So far it’s taken my partner 3 and a half hours to put up one shelf unit …and I’ve drilled two if the holes! But on a positive note I’ve finished painting the trellis along the passageway to the back door so that’s one job ticked off a long list.

I heard about a book called More than a Woman bu Caitlin Moran, which sounds like a good read. Anyone read it?

Was going to try and spend the evening round at mums tonight, as she’s all by herself at the moment. Went round yesterday afternoon and she had rung 111 just before I’d got there. No major scare … she was just fed up with her painful sciatica and wanted an injection! I really felt for the paramedics who had arrived just before me. If I had been them I would have wanted to bash her! She’s already been in regular touch with the doctor and had been prescribed painkillers. :roll: And has a forthcoming scan/X-ray! I thought it was naughty so she’s in my bad books at the moment. Not that I said anything to her. She has been so incredibly lucky with her physical health all her life I guess this is a bit of an education/shock for her. Dare I say it but I think it was partly for attention too! :o

I hope your work goes okay Danny <:)>

Right … off to nag partner again :cry:
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DannyD
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Re: The To Do List

Post by DannyD »

Work was. Ok. Line manager asked how I was(with a remarkable lack of interest), and said if I didn't feel well I shouldn't have come in. The work shift I had was not too onerous. And the roads were empty for driving home.

I need to stay at work for a while, to get some finance behind me, having run virtually dry over the last 18 months. Perhaps another year, and retire (and move?) for my 70th. I must try and remember that health is more important.

Things going on in the RW. I need to pick up the reins again. Tomorrow
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Action
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Action »

Morning,

Danny … I do hope that you manage to get a good rest. Are you working today? I bet you felt like turning round and going home when your Line Manager said that. :? Must have been tempting. It sounds as though a move is definitely playing on your mind. Perhaps it’s what you need to do, sooner rather than later? Have you spoken to your daughter about your thoughts (sorry - I can’t remember) :roll:

Brother came home exhausted after a late shift at work. He was left doing all the washing up and putting the bins out. It’s not too bad, good for him, but it does sound as though the new manager is rubbing everyone up the wrong way and many people are leaving. Hopefully the manager won’t last long with dissension in the ranks. Bro was a bit morose about the football. I tried to watch it for England’s sake but I hate football so switched off after a bit. I just don’t sit comfortable with the amount of money that exists around the sport…when it could go to so much good use elsewhere. I told him that he didn’t need to feel sorry for them and that many of them earn more in a month than most people do in a lifetime. That put a new perspective on it for him.

So today… I feel at a loss. There’s much to do but I am lacking motivation to do anything. Really need my space back but have no idea when that is going to happen. Partners mood is constantly changing, up and down, brother is sixes and sevens adjusting to rejection from mum (it’s an ongoing thing with them) and camping out at mine. He really needs to try and find his own space but I am not sure if he is capable emotionally. He does have mental health issues (not sure how much is generated by nature and how much is by nurture) and I tried to have a chat with him about behaving like an adult rather than a teenager (owning his life) :shock: and moving forward but he is resistant to the idea.

Oh no, someone is outside with a concrete angle grinder literally outside the house on the street! Wtf 😳 Bang goes my brothers rest! He didn’t get to bed until 12:30 last night.

Thank goodness I don’t have anything pressing this week. I think I will take it easy today, I’m struggling with the late nights. I can’t switch off till I know he’s back in and okay, partly mothering instinct and also trying to ensure he doesn’t overdo it! 🍺

To Do:
Walk missy (get partner to do it) she’s in a funny place at the moment …my brother worries her.
Sort kitchen out (looks like a bombs hit it)
Plan kitchen rearrangement (had a brainwave yesterday about it)
Email chap about writing group
Look up meditation class, mentioned in conversation by one of the by paramedics who came to mum.
Order new masks off Amazon (down to last two).

Can’t think of anything else at the moment.

Hope everyone has a good day. <:)>
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Re: The To Do List

Post by DannyD »

Morning

Learning to live with asthma. I just have to remember to take inhalers with me.

Me an' a girlfriend have been out and about seeing live theatre. Last night was a very intimate little show: the quartets. I think it was mostly lost on us. Next Monday we're hitting big and going to see South Pacific in Chichester.

Lordy but didn't the rain fall yesterday. I dreamt I was flooded out. I need to visit my garden and see how everything is growing.

Action I don't envy you with a houseful. Set the rules.
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Rachel
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Rachel »

It's odd but we didn't get any rain - just thunder. But just a few miles away in SW London, cars were virtually floating down the street.

Danny, that was very unsympathetic of your manager :evil:

Sorry things are so stressful, Action. I don't sleep if husband is out, either.

I actually had quite a nice day today. No phone calls during the day, got some decent creative work work done, did a little gardening, washing... had a delivery of fancy food from Souschef. Basil seems much better and I managed to get him to have his meds. And I got to go out! Self-isolation is over. And husband went out to practise croquet for a couple of hours this evening so got the house to myself, which was nice and almost relaxing. (Right now he is working and keeps swearing. Not so relaxing. And yes, it's neraly half eleven.)

I did have a call from my mother this evening with her in tears, but I managed to cheer her up.

I also did some writing yesterday while he was out playing croquet (he has his first match on Friday.) First time in ages. Hopefully I can build on this.

How did it get so late? Bed time.

I hope everyone has a better day tomorrow. <:)>
Rachel

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Re: The To Do List

Post by Luna_ »

Hi all - just catching up on all the posts.
It seems many are coping with/ addressing challenges.

Action, I sometimes think you are one of the kindest/most tolerant persons I know. I hope your brother and partner realise this at some point and start coming through for you too.

Rachel - how are all the domestic issues going? Lawnmower? I also get the undercurrent sometimes that you find things all a bit much. There are many issues on-going. Do you have any possibility to make a priority list - og reshuffling of time-frames to make it all a bit more manageable?

Pickles, I hope you are keeping ok <:)>

One of the benefits of being single is no longer having to nag to get anything done. The side-effect is that nothing gets done unless I do it. But since that was pretty much the case anyway, it's what they call much of a muchness. I do miss some adult company now and then, though. But then, I have this troubled neighbor who is adult, but costs a lot of energy (although I do have a liking/fondness for him - not in "that" way though I hasten to add). But I mean adult company where we just can "be" - or set the world to rights or not. I did have an evening with an older friend who has inherited a tiny house here, from her father, who inherited it from his mother... It was built in the 30's - at a time when people built their own houses, with materials they could come across. So the basement/foundations is made from stones from the beach.The cement is crumbling because they couldn't wash out all the salt. Anyway, we had a lovely evening, she made a simple meal and then hubby toddled off to do the crossword and she and I got our knitting out :lol: She is recently retired from leading a psychiatric department and I find her very good company indeed. Shame we only get one evening a year - but we treasure this each time ;)?

I am a bit fed up. Please may I have a bit of a rant then I will re-assess and make a plan - then go Do It.

I had a progressive injury in 2016 which resulted in some damage to the brainstem (short-term memory and balance). Yhis meant I really had to work on both. Balance I can use tools for - eg. I rented a scaffolding and paid some lads to put it up for me, so I can work on the house this summer without fainting off ladders.. I don't go on the bow of small boats in winter (slippery ice) without the harness I bought - the kind sailors wear when they are precariously hanging off the sides. So I can live with the balance issues. But the memory issues drive me nuts. I keep losing stuff!! Then it turns up eg 3 weeks later, after I've had to move heaven and earth to replace it. We are talking things like car keys, office keys, security cards without which I can't get into work etc etc. I try so hard to have fixed places for stuff - but there is always a kind of blackout moment where I stuff things "somewhere" then have no recollection of it. It's this Hippocampus organ - the one that is responsible for transferring short-term memory to longer term storage. But if I'm doing something and someone interrupts me (my kids sometimes drive me nuts - it's mum, mum.. all the time, JUST as I'm doing or thinking about something then - poof - whatever I was doing/thinking about is gone. I am finding this increasingly stressful - especially when they get annoyed with me for then forgetting things. (OMG my ex was worse - he used to fly into these huge rages about it - when he in fact should have taken me to the doctor - if this had been picked up 2-3 years before it did, the damage apparently would have been much less).

Anyway - I have finished a big report and NEED to get it off to a client or I won't be able to invoice. I need my BankID gadget to get into the system to upload my report (public systems require this now). But I can't find the bloo*dy thing. To get a new one will take at least 3 hours operation and it is suny and I am supposed to be on holiday now (so I can fix up my house, sigh...). So I have to use the rest of the day chasing something that I really should remember where it is.

I think I will do the following:
1. stop beating myself up about this. Treat it as a side-effect of an injury I have done well to recover from as much as I did. I wouldn't be angry with myself for not being able to climb a mountain if I'd broken my leg, would I?

2. Spend some time just routinely tidying and putting stuff away. Although I have been doing this since friday... It may turn up. However, I have outed my kids recently (again and again) for sneaking around in my stuff and moving things. I know they are rooting around for alcohol bottles - which still occasionally do turn up - I must have had absolutely dozens of stashed bottles). But I do object to them constantly shadowing me, spying on me and rooting around in my clothes cupboard etc. And sometimes I have found stuff - eg when daughter was younger - under her mattress, whilst changing bedding. You know, my missing handsfree set, my bank ID, my keys etc. They both claim that "someone" must have come into the house and put my stuff there. But you know - when we are out we now lock the door and when we are at home it would be very hard for a stranger to just walk in - the dog would go mad.

Oh - and recently I also found a couple of items I had been looking for - they innocuously appeared back in my cupboard - but I KNOW I ansolutely searched - I took out everything then put it neatly back. Oh, and another thing, I have a jam jar I keep cash in. People don't use cash much here anymore, but sometimes it is needed to pay someone for a small job or when kids come selling raffle tickets etc. I know how much I had in there - and looked into it - it still looked full from the outside, but there was only the one note artfully rolled around the inner edge of the jar - the rest was gone. I suspect my son, in fact. His bags are often full of sweet wrappers and I don't know where he gets these from. Now I think I do. He is becoming alarmingly overweight - and in fact daughter discovered her cash-stash also raided.

They both are nice people - but I don't entirely trust them. My ex always told me I was stupid and naive around them. He disliked the fact he had to share my attention with them when he was here - so he also contributed to set them up. I actually found him damaging something I had given my daughter - but he denied it and told me it was her. This is all so complicated - and it doesn't help my state of mind. I just want to live peacefully...

3. Make a plan and some infrastructure so I conciously put these "important small things" in this place - but where it it totally mine. But If I made a locked box I'd only just lose the key. Or forget the combination. If I use my "usual" combinations, then eyeryone knows these anyway.

4. Find that balance between trust and paranoia

5. If all else fails - apologise to client today, then make a big list of everything I need from town and go in early tomorrow and just do it all in one fell swoop. Then enjoy no town for a long time :-)


Sorry long me me stuff - but thanks.

Have a good day folks.
I still have Faith, but right now I'm reaching for the moon.

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DannyD
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Re: The To Do List

Post by DannyD »

Luna my nephew stole from my sister and his sister for years. Mostly from his mum. My sister had the box of family silver cutlery. It's gone. She started locking her bedroom when she was out. Eventually she found the shop where he was flogging the stuff and got some back - some of it she hadn't missed until she saw it in the shop. To this day, I have no idea why he did it. Spent the cash on sweets and fizzy drinks. For a long time I never wanted him to visit. I've been very lucky with my girls I think. Looking back though, I think my youngest used to empty my vodka bottle and top it up with water. I found this out years later when I stopped drinking. I kept a bottle half full, as a sort of tease. After several months, I realised the liquid was turning green.

As for the memory thing. I can never find anything. I simply put it down to old timers disease. I try saying out loud "I'm putting my glasses on the table", in the hope that I may remember.

To do
Shower
Dress in a uniform
Find a bum bag
I'm working an outdoor evening shift at a project, and I'm not sure exactly what to expect.
Take my inhaler.
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Luna_ »

Ah Danny, thanks for this <:)> <:)>

I have considered locking, but don't want to go there. Anyways, all the keys in the house fit all the doors...
He seems to have this addiction to sweets, although we hardly ever have them. But then he is the son of an alcoholic, so who am I to talk...

Good luck with your shift, Danny. It sounds interesting...

Edit - I have weeded my small potato patch, which also has some green kålrabi in it (I don't know what its called in english - it's round and green and has lots of sitcky-up shoots coming out from the various layers - like a wild cabbage. Wiki tells me it is Corbis or Kohlrabi - Brassicae oleraceae (but there are several sub-species which Wiki wrongly capitalises so I'm not even going to quote them because I am a taxonomy nerd....

Ditto my 10 little strawberry plants. And a patch containing various things that I have forgotten what they are - so kept having to taste the leaves of the shoots to distinguish them from leaves. I think I have radish, snap peas (they may not bear fruit before the end of the season), some ruccula lettuce (I think that's rocket in UK) and something else that will have to be a surprise, not that I can tell the diffeence between it and weeds.

There were a lot of weeds because I used comosted horse manure, of which I have lots - but OMG the weeds it produces!!! The plants seem to like it though too.

However - I am very sadly inside. It is a lovely warm evening, but the mosquitos are totally carnivorous this year. I am going to have to buy one of those hats with a mesh - but they bite through gloves and trousers - and if it isn't the mozzies the bloomin' klegs/horseflies come and take big chunks out of people - the only thing they can't get through is a full set fisherman-quality thick oilskins - but then it's too hot in them to do anything...

:roll: :roll: I was so looking forward to an evening pottering in my wilderness (where I have begun to cultivate a few nooks and crannies). I kid you not though - the wild grasses and fireweed etc are almost the same height as I am - that's not saying much, but funnily enough, where I WANT to cultivate grass for hay - there it's not even knee high even though it gets sown each year...

OK I will stop babbling. Maybe collect some more blackcurrant leaves for fermenting and drying for making tea.
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Re: The To Do Lis

Post by Action »

Morning Everyone.

Luna, I’m so sorry that you struggle with your memory occasIonally …it must be so frustrating. I have issues with my memory sometimes due to my blood gases. If my oxygen levels are a bit low then the old cognition goes a bit doo lally. :D My most obvious sign is that I mix up my words and swop the first letters of my words. My partner actually writes some of them down as they are quite amusing sometimes. Can’t think of one off the top of my head …

I too get bitten by mosquitoes, they really like me. Apparently they are attracted by Carbon Dioxide and I’ve probably got slightly higher levels than most. I’ve got about 10 bites at the moment. I went to water my hostas day before yesterday and within one minute I had two bites! I don’t know if you use can access this product, sold by Avon, but the army use it - it is brilliant at repelling them. Why did I get bitten because I forget to use it! First class numpty!

https://avon.uk.com/products/skin-so-so ... -oil-spray

There’s no standing water in my garden or in neighbours on either side for them to breed in but there could be some at the back of me, in a derelict garden. Partner is going on a mission later to find out.

Danny, how are you doing? Are you feeling any better now? Did you find your bum bag? Take it easy in this hot weather, you might find it a little bit more of a challenge … an evening shift sounds like a good plan.

Well, my bro is still here so it’s still a full house. It is a bit challenging, especially as he works till late, but we’re doing okay. Hopefully by beginning of August he will be able to stay with our dad nearby (his blood dad, my mum’s second hubby). I’ve had to be quite strong with the family as it’s been years of turbulence between my mum, hubby and bro. Toxic triangle unfortunately. Fingers crossed this will be the beginning of a positive change for all. My mum’s being a bit tricky, as she has a lot of issues and likes to be in control (even though she professes to want to be free of the responsibilities). Go figure. The latest is that dad should be looking to rent a property near his work, which will ultimately mean my brother has to travels miles to work. This is my mums idea of ’toughening up’ my brother. :?

Rachel, how are you my lovely? <:)>

To Do:
Sent partner off with dog before it gets too hot, although my neighbours just told me it’s already 25 degrees in the shade! :shock:
Lay low for most of the day…I won’t be able to do too much.
Make missy some carrot ice cubes …I think she’ll like them. My dad saw someone walking a New Foundland dog in the middle of the day yesterday and it collapsed on the pavement. £*@&ing idiots! Who does that? Good job I didn’t see it otherwise I would shouted at the owner.
I might sunbathe :o I actually got my legs out for the first time in years yesterday (customised a pair of jeans into shorts). Only during the day though as you can imagine how the mosquitoes would have enjoyed that later in the day!
Still no neighbours on the other side. Waiting for new ones to arrive (don’t know when) I want to introduce missy and hopefully avoid all barking and growling when she knows next door is not a threat. Massively dreading that they will have a dog…
Chicken pie for dins I think (or something with chicken).
Need to look up broad-bean recipes as spent about an hour podding some yesterday. They were given to me, I don’t really like them so need to find inventive/transformative recipe! :lol:

Right enough rambling!

Have a lovely day.. shout out to Pickles too!
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Re: The To Do List

Post by pickles »

Hi Danny, Rachel, Luna , Action, Serend.

It’s been a busy few days what with taking daughter here and there and I’m sure you heard about the terrible weather last week in Europe. Where I live , the area was flooded but not as devastating as Liege . Roads were partly closed off with us and I got caught in it going to the shelter. It was raining but catching up on the news later after getting some very kind pings from people, I saw what they were talking about , so sad about Germany.

The local village did a gathering of bringing food and drink to a hangar, down the road , we took a couple of bags of food , water, milk , had some blankets , some unused baby stuff ( surprisingly) and yesterday daughter and me hung around for a bit to help sorting out some stuff . There were many volunteers and it was lovely to see so many bringing food etc for the Red Cross to take , plus people who had vans also gave up their time to put emergency things to take to liege.

Tomorrow is a national day of mourning here . It hasn’t been quite explained but I think there will be flag half mast , a minute silence. I’m not sure , but many locals today talking about it .

So looking at photos in the press it’s obviously going to take a long time . Frightening that such weather causes devastation.


Luna I’m sorry to read of your son . Just reading about his sweet addiction, my daughter is the same and she loves cola . We have tried not buying it but she will buy it herself. I hide sweets , I love them too but have tried cutting down due to my cancer days . I try talking to daughter about weight , she was getting quite big as well which she refused to believe. And staying in bed till silly o clock some days ! Anyway she is going for a walk some days , of course when the weather was good . I have been trying to get her out of the house , although she is going to the clinic 2x a week. I think that wipes her out and she reaches out for the sweet stuff . I buy fruit and alternative things to sweet sweets, but she usually finds something.

We have our first visitor in over a year arriving tomorrow. So I had been tidying today , trying Aldi to get this nightmare bindweed out the way . I curse at it and then remind myself of the affected areas .

It’s actually looking nice in our garden ( apart from the weeds) a pumpkin flower came through the other day , the smell is amazing.

I hope your day went ok Action <:)>

Oh memory, the tablets I take since the last year causes memory fog . Horrible.

Hope everyone has a good evening.

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Re: The To Do List

Post by Mark. »

I am really glad that you and family are well, Pickles. The flooding across Europe has been awful. It was good that you and your daughter could help at the hangar. It's such a sad and unimaginably devastating situation for so many. I hope that the national mourning day goes ok.

Stay safe <:)> <:)>
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Topcat »

So pleased that you and your family are ok Pickles. Take care <:)>
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Rachel »

I hope every one is ok. Sorry been very busy with work. Not sure where the weekend went ... day trip on Saturday then not a lot on Sunday. (I had a long siesta.)
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Re: The To Do List

Post by pickles »

Thank you Mark and TC <:)>

Congratulations again for yesterday, Rachel \:)/

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Re: The To Do List

Post by Action »

Morning Everyone.

So glad to hear that you and your family are safe. I have seen some of the pictures of Liege and the devastation looks awful…I just can’t begin to think how bad it must be to experience that. It must have been quite been beneficial to be able to do something to help. There is nothing worse than having to watch and not being able to do anything about it.

Well it’s all quiet here. Bro is still asleep, although there is roadworks outside so I don’t know how he’s managing to achieve that. Partner is in the shed, missy is hunkered down somewhere cool and I’m still in my pjs. Just wondering what to do for the day. I quite like to be physically busy, but even deadheading the roses yesterday was a challenge! :shock: I might do some writing. I am planning to write about my experiences but I don’t want it to be morose and I want it to be useful. I’ve completed some pieces and been encouraged by my class mates and tutor. I wish I had an imagination and could write about something that would take me out of myself and daily life, if you know what I mean.

Good to hear that you had a restful day on Sunday Rachel.

To Do:
Get out of pjs
Rustle up some breakfast for bro and partner
Bit of admin
Might paint shed door
Brush missy, if she can stand it.
Dinner
TV - I’m watching the series Orphan Black on Netflix - it’s very good!

Started a project in the garden, purely out of temper because partner won’t help so now I’m left with a hole, lots of soil, which missy has loved digging in but it’s going to have to stay like that until the weather cools down a bit. :oops:

Have a good day everyone. <:)>
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Luna_ »

Hi all,
I am happy to hear you and your family are OK, Pickles <:)>
Also glad Action and Rachel - you are "tootling" along.
I am sorry not to go into details, am just feeling sad and not so motivated. It has poured with rain for over a week now and this night we have had new snow on the hills :shock: :?
It was supposed to be a nice home-summer hos for us, but the high winds have made it impossible even for son to go out in his local little boat.

Tomorrow marks the 10th anniversary of the atrocities committed by someone in our country I will not even dignify by saying the name of. 22th July 2011. I also acknowledge the 9/11 monstrocity so please those over the pond I am not meaning to belittle - at all.

I should do lots of things, but somehow something is stopping all of them.

I might ask son to go with me to pick stuff (there are virtually no berries this year due to abnormally bad weather - but there are lits of leaves and wild herbs to make tea from...). He gets grumpy about this - but then I made him "breakfast" in bed today on the condition that he does stuff later. I am utterly amazed that a person can routinely sleep 12-14 hours each day!!!! He is not lying and looking at YouTube - he genuinely is sleeping!!

Best wishes to all <:)>
I still have Faith, but right now I'm reaching for the moon.

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Rachel
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Joined: 22 Jul 2011 14:54
Last Drink Date: 20 Jul 2012
Location: South East London
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Rachel »

Thanks Pickles!
Rachel

User avatar
Rachel
Posts: 8719
Joined: 22 Jul 2011 14:54
Last Drink Date: 20 Jul 2012
Location: South East London
Contact:

Re: The To Do List

Post by Rachel »

Sorry you are low, Luna. The weather can’t help.

We have had the opposite extreme here - 31 on some days this week. Too hot to do anything in the garden, 'cause that 31 is in the shade. High 40s in full sun.

I hope your roadworks end soon, Action.

I have been writing a bit, but not enough. I have had two different groups meeting (zoom) this week on consecutive days. Managed to present a piece to one group but no the other.

I feel like I have been on zoom all week. At least one meeting a day. Three yesterday.

optician's today. Hurray! But gosh I must have been nervous as I felt such a huge sense of relief when it was over and done with. New glasses on order, but eyesight has changed little which is good (and almost unprecedented).
Rachel

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