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The To Do List

Specific emotional or mental health problems, like anxiety, depression, insomnia, confidence etc. Along with bodily health, exercise, nutrition.
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Rachel
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Rachel » 03 Dec 2019 17:13

Jjjj of Old wrote:
03 Dec 2019 10:28
I'd love to know what the book is called.
Me too!
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Re: The To Do List

Post by aj » 03 Dec 2019 21:48

I bet you both have heard of it...😁

Writing without a Parachute, The art of freefall.

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JohnC
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Re: The To Do List

Post by JohnC » 03 Dec 2019 22:01

Hiya Folks

We went to Walsall today for 5 hours but it's a dump so we've crossed that one off our list, we had a nice dinner at the Spoons so that was ok, I'm not racist in the slightest (my poorly neighbour who I sit with is Indian) but talk about multi cultural.

The only thing I use bubble wrap for in the garden is wrapping tubs/planters to stop them from freezing, for the upper stems and foliage I use fleece bags because they don't trap the moisture inside that would cause the foliage/stems to rot.

To Done
Been to Walsall, never again
Back home, fed animals

To Do
Brush teeth and get to bed
JC
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Re: The To Do List

Post by aj » 04 Dec 2019 08:46

To do:

Assignment \/
Dog walk \/
Assignment \/
Pilates \/
Tutorial
Assignment \/
Shower/hair \/
Bed \/

Have a good one.
Last edited by aj on 04 Dec 2019 23:10, edited 1 time in total.

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pickles
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Re: The To Do List

Post by pickles » 04 Dec 2019 09:20

Hi aj,John.

Hope the day goes well for you both .

Already our Christmas tree is up. Daughter wanted to help decorate it early this year . What a change in younger dog though when she saw it . She went to her bed and was almost pining . Seems like she remembers last year with older dog and her being curious around the tree and decorations , he ran off with a bauble then:) . Yesterday she and I went for a long walk ,she managed well. The plumber was here so she was getting restless.

To do , hoover ,help daughter with a few things . Hospital app.


DannyD wrote:
03 Dec 2019 15:02
9]

I will say this, though - I never ever get tired of this one, for some reason :D
Silent scream
.
[/quote]

:lol:

At least it wasn’t The Frog Chorus,Danny .


How is your Ma, Rachel? Hi jj .
' Normal ' is just a setting on the washing machine .

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Re: The To Do List

Post by JohnC » 04 Dec 2019 09:43

Hiya Folks

The only Christmas songs I like are, erm, none of them ☹☹

I dropped a right clanger last night shortly before bedtime last night, I swigged a bottle of kefir, bad mistake, it was like world war 3 in my tummy and the tummy pains in bed were crippling, I won't do that again.

To Do;
Feed animals
Have porridge for a change
Take Wifey to her rendezvous with her Brother, me, carry on to council tip to dump a boot full of rubbish.
Back home to find some chores/gardening to keep me busy
Cook myself some dinner
Welcome Wifey home tonight
Chillax
Bed.

Have a great day Besties
JC
Last edited by JohnC on 04 Dec 2019 20:32, edited 1 time in total.
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Rachel
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Rachel » 04 Dec 2019 11:21

Not heard of that one, aj.

John, yes bubble wrap/nylon jackets for the pots and fleece for the foliage.

I quite like Happy Xmas (War Is Over) John Lennon et al. And I am afraid I do still like Slade's 'So here...'
I don’t have to listen to either on a loop though.


Mother seems to be getting better, pickles, although she is very cross and complaining constantly :o I am trying out different approaches to our phone calls, as it's getting me down, but I think there is no way around it. If I actually say anything she complains that I am not letting her say anything, so conversation changers don't really work.

I am currently plotting to make Christmas a bit 'nicer'. Bought some reusable crackers (no plastic. She is obssessed with plastic... and soya). Quite fun looking for things to put in them for her and OH. also hoping to order a fold up table to put in her sitting room (while she is in bed, Christmas Eve) to decorate for Christmas day. Problem is getting one delivered when I am not around.

to do
phone locksmith \/
post office - returns plus American cards \/ communication problem with new person whose English will probably be great in a month or so. I hope I have enought postage on the cards. There was much confusion on both sides.
Tesco metro for bits and bobs? I want to make biscuits again. Or, if OH gets home in time, go to Sainsbury's (need refills for Soda Stream). Ach. Forgot. I need milk too. Lots of insomnia since I got back.
He didn't get home from work until midnight last night.

I hope everyone has a good day.
Last edited by Rachel on 04 Dec 2019 13:53, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Mark. » 04 Dec 2019 11:43

aj wrote:
03 Dec 2019 21:48
I bet you both have heard of it...😁

Writing without a Parachute, The art of freefall.
Thanks, AJ - I've had a look online and it looks really interesting ;)? How are you getting on with it?

Sorry to hear about Walsall, John, but I'm glad the meal was good ;)? Sorry to hear about the kefir, though! I had a rumbling tummy last night too. Nothing as bad as that, though, and caused only because I ate cheese and crackers too late in the evening, I think.

pickles wrote:
04 Dec 2019 09:20
At least it wasn’t The Frog Chorus,Danny
:lol:

The Christmas decorating sounds nice, Pickles. I'm sorry the dog was pining, though. I hope the hospital appointment goes well <:)>
Rachel wrote:
04 Dec 2019 11:21
I quite like Happy Xmas (War Is Over) John Lennon et al. And I am afraid I do still like Slade's 'So here...'
Have to admit, Advent for me really begins whenever I first hear the John & Yoko song, which I haven't yet, oddly, which possibly explains why I'm still resistant to everything else (apart from Paul). The Slade song never goes amiss, either. I hate to say this (as a Kirsty MacColl fan) but I've hit an age where it wouldn't sadden me if I never heard Fairytale of New York again. Used to love it, but... Have I heard it once too often, or have I simply changed?

I have also had this in my head for the last couple of days. As a carol, it counts for the current season (although not all carols are for Christmas) and this version seems to suit the long, dark, but not necessarily unpleasant evenings. They don't play it in-store, though, which is a shame. It might have a calming effect on customers...
Rachel wrote:
04 Dec 2019 11:21
Mother seems to be getting better
This is good news, Rachel - although I'm sorry about the complaining. I hope the phone calls improve <:)>

To do:
1) I have a bunged-up right ear so I've just run a bath in the hope of shifting whatever's blocking it
2) Make sandwiches - I'm on a short five-hour shift today
3) Go to work
4) Come home and watch The Apprentice

I hope everyone's day goes well <:)>
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Rachel » 04 Dec 2019 13:50

I had better dig out the Hely-Hutchinson soon (or maybe later)...

bunged up right ear might be a blessing, Jjjj??! Alhthugh maybe not if the left is ok.
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Re: The To Do List

Post by aj » 04 Dec 2019 23:20

Hely-Hutchinson? I was intrigued, was it a new garden implement or some other fancy ‘tool’?

I googled, how wonderful, you definitely learn something new everyday.

It reminds me of the time I was a nanny in Canada, while eating a meal with the Dad and Mum one evening, classical music playing in the background, the Dad asked ‘Do you like Ratatouille’? I exclaimed that ‘I’ve never really listened to classical music’ :oops:

Again, I blame it on my welsh upbringing 😂

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Re: The To Do List

Post by Bluebottle » 05 Dec 2019 00:36

Spats wrote:
30 Nov 2019 10:28
Stop smoking 🚬 and drinking
Hope you're succeeding on both counts Spats, not seen you about for a few days, hope everything's ok. <:)>

Moira xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)
307/59 days - 2019/2020

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Re: The To Do List

Post by aj » 05 Dec 2019 08:24

Fairytale of New York is one of my favourites, ironically as I live in the middle of nowhere avoid the shops, have no TV and work for a company that bans all form of Christmas cheer, Christmas comes when I’m ready 🎄.
As I may have mentioned I have an assignment to do first, deadline the 12th so Christmas will definitely start that weekend 🤶.

To do:
Work
Come home lunchtime to walk/feed dog
Work
Assignment
Watch something for half an hour
Bed

Have a good day everyone

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Re: The To Do List

Post by DannyD » 05 Dec 2019 08:55

Morning

Family have all dispersed back to homes. My house is very quiet again. Daughter mum complains (a lot) about the lack of support she gets from full time working husband. Eventually I agree with her - at which point she changes tactics and tells me not to be hard on him as he's always helping whenever he can. I don't like to point out that her dad gave me zero support and she's lucky. Think she'd go for me for that one too. It can be quite wearing.

Jjj I usually watch The Apprentice on catch up - you've been fired. Though I don't think Tom Allen is as good a presenter as they've had in the past.

To do
Shower
Breakfast
Prepare lunch
Bus to work. It's a 2 show day, so long time until I'm back in bed.

I've been eating a lot of veg. That's creating tummy problems. Daughter arrived with three dozen eggs: 12 for me, 12 for her sister and 12 for her. They ate all mine when they were here, then took theirs home.

To do
Buy more eggs.

Have a good day y'all
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Rachel
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Rachel » 05 Dec 2019 11:15

aj wrote:
04 Dec 2019 23:20
Hely-Hutchinson? I was intrigued, was it a new garden implement or some other fancy ‘tool’?
This bit of his Carol Symphony, as used here for the intro to the BBC serialisation of The Box of Delights (worth seeking out, although ropey '80s special effects.) The rest of it is a bit... (pompous and Briitish-sounding.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJ_qmRRV1S4
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Rachel » 05 Dec 2019 11:30

Danny, as someone who has to listen to complaining on a prolonged and daily basis here are some rules:
1. don't reinforce the complaint with reference to its cause. Just sympathize regarding the suffering it cauzses (poor you etc.)
2. do not suggest solutions (these are not wanted or required. What's going on here is a vent.)

Both of these things are hard to do and it's very frustrating, but if you want an easy life, it's advisable. However sometimes the envisaged easy life involves the other person simply not complaining. That's a tough one, and when the person is someone robust enough to tolerate a little chiding, such as a daughter, potentially, as opposed to a 91 year old mother, that might well be what you have to do.

to do today:
work obvs, but for a little longer than usual so I can leave earlier tomorrow
Actually not much else on the agenda.
Oh put out recycling and rubbish
make sure cat litter box is not too icky as someone coming round to look at locks tomorrow.
I could make biscuits (after santizing hands if required...)

My mother is causing me some (dis)stress still. She's been very grumpy since she got out of hospital. I think she feels guilty aboutmaking me ill (the rest of the trauma of the week is not mentioned so presumably not imagined or considered) and she is externalizing this by saying that I am making her feel guilty. This is most unfair. I have not expressed any resentment about any of it. I wouldn't, even if I felt any, which I do not. I do resent her doing this, though.
She also came out with "I know you don't like coming to Sheffield.' Oh boy....
I replied, after a short pause "Well it's a bit uncomfortable."
Her: "Yes well's it's not unconfortable as it was when I visited my parents." (Which she did rarely, and then about twice in total after she had my sister and I...)
So she forces me to make a vague criticism, which is in fact only the tip of the iceberg, and then effectively says I shoudn't be complaining, which I wasn't...

This is not an infrequent pattern in conversatons with her, alas. It's a lose lose situation for me.
Rachel

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Re: The To Do List

Post by Mark. » 05 Dec 2019 14:31

Rachel wrote:
05 Dec 2019 11:30
1. don't reinforce the complaint with reference to its cause. Just sympathize regarding the suffering it cauzses (poor you etc.)
2. do not suggest solutions (these are not wanted or required. What's going on here is a vent.)
These are wise words, I think, Rachel. I have a friend of whom I'm very fond. He doesn't complain angrily, but he does very often find a cloud behind every silver lining. Chatting by email, I used to offer 'solutions' but I came to feel he found my perky optimism annoying (understandably enough) and would annoy me in reply by raising lots of "yes, but"s. I try not to offer suggestions so much, these days, but it's only after reading your rules that I've realised why he doesn't want them. As you say, what he wants is simply to vent. Which is fair enough and easily coped since, as I say, he doesn't moan angrily. However, it must be very much harder for you to cope with your mother <:)>
Rachel wrote:
05 Dec 2019 11:30
So she forces me to make a vague criticism, which is in fact only the tip of the iceberg, and then effectively says I shoudn't be complaining, which I wasn't...
The context is a bit different, but that reminded me of a Sunday lunchtime about ten years ago when SIL happily badgered me to tell the table if my wife (her sister) had any habits that annoyed me. Obviously my wife does have such habits (just as I have habits that irritate her) but none that I'd wish to embarrass her about in front of her family. So, I resisted giving an answer for ages, but SIL (thinking that this was an hilarious and not-at-all-awkward conversation) wouldn't give up. Finally, I chose what I felt was the most trivial and inoffensive example: that my wife leaves crumbs all over the chopping board after making toast and doesn't clear them up. This says more about my mildly OCDish prissiness than it did about my wife, but it did upset her and caused a mild row at the table. I'd been totally gubbed by SIL: hounded into making a vague criticism that my wife then felt I had no right to complain about (which I never would have done in the first place) :roll:
Rachel wrote:
04 Dec 2019 13:50
bunged up right ear might be a blessing, Jjjj??! Alhthugh maybe not if the left is ok.
Thank you - that made me chuckle :lol: I'd forgotten about the Hely-Hutchinson being used for The Box of Delights. Did I say that I bought that on DVD about a year or so ago and wife and I watched it? It is still very magical (and Troughton and Stephens are ace), but yeah - the effects have dated, haven't they? I remember the BBC (on Blue Peter?) made such a big fuss about them at the time. I want to watch it again, though - if only for the scene when one of the children shouts so indignantly: "I've just been SCROBBLED!"
aj wrote:
04 Dec 2019 23:20
It reminds me of the time I was a nanny in Canada, while eating a meal with the Dad and Mum one evening, classical music playing in the background, the Dad asked ‘Do you like Ratatouille’? I exclaimed that ‘I’ve never really listened to classical music’
:lol: :lol: Ha ha! I absolutely love that, AJ! Things a bit like that happened to me when I worked in a classical music shop. If I hadn't heard of a composer I'd often end up mispronouncing their name in front of customers: Albininny instead of Albinoni, and so on. After I left, my boss told me that my Japanese replacement made some good errors: filing Mantovani CDs in the Monteverdi section and, when a customer asked for something by Massanet, she took him to the Mozart choral section and pulled out a CD. The customer looked baffled. "But it's what you asked for," she said: "Mozart - Mass in A, yes?"

My lovely Polish colleague did a similar thing a few days ago. A customer wanted bratwurst so she showed him to the shelf with all the 'breakfast packs' on it. I suppose bratwurst does sound very much like breakfast if English isn't your first language!
aj wrote:
05 Dec 2019 08:24
Fairytale of New York is one of my favourites, ironically as I live in the middle of nowhere avoid the shops, have no TV and work for a company that bans all form of Christmas cheer
Funnily enough, I was thinking yesterday that this is why I used to love it - because it does convey the atmosphere of being in a busy pub in a big city at Christmas, doesn't it? I don't dislike it, I just don't like it as much as I used to.
DannyD wrote:
05 Dec 2019 08:55
Jjj I usually watch The Apprentice on catch up - you've been fired. Though I don't think Tom Allen is as good a presenter as they've had in the past.
I know what you mean, D. I like Tom Allen and I want to like him even more than I do, but he's not as sharp or as funny as previous presenters, is he? I wonder if that's due to him or due to the writers - the sketches/segments aren't quite as good this year, are they?
Ruby&Tilly wrote:
05 Dec 2019 00:36
Spats wrote:
30 Nov 2019 10:28
Stop smoking 🚬 and drinking
Hope you're succeeding on both counts Spats, not seen you about for a few days, hope everything's ok. <:)>

Moira xx
Yes, how are you getting on, Spats? <:)>

To do:
1) Keep an eye (figuratively) on my right ear. The bath unblocked it yesterday but it was bunged up again this morning. I had a quick puggle around with my little finger and it would appear that there might be enough wax in there to light a church. Trip to the doc's to ask about a syringe?
2) Reply to a few emails and catch up on minor admin.
3) Walk the dog? It's really windy and wet today. I want to go for a hill walk tomorrow. It's supposedly going to be sunny with light showers. This is hard to imagine right now.
4) Dinner, bath, book, bed.

I hope everyone has a good day \:)/
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Rachel » 05 Dec 2019 15:06

Thanks, Jjj.... But gosh, what a lot of typoes there were in my posts. (As per usual. It mortifies me, it really does.)

That just takes the purple pim...?! (Slight misusage?)

What bothers me about my mother is that she decides what (she thinks) I am thinking - imputes me with (grammar?) motivations and feelings - which I don't have, rather than listening to me. Fortunately she seem oblivious to the thoughts and feelings I do have, but if she were aware of them, she would just be angry with me for having them. I have no right to feel like that. It's my duty to feel otherwise. This is how she is about my sister. She seems to feel more angry that she doesn't do her 'duty' by being in contact, rather than sad that she's not.

I wonder how much of this is brain deterioriation and how much is just her, laid bare.

Either way, it's difficult.

Will stop going on about it now.
Rachel

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Re: The To Do List

Post by Mark. » 05 Dec 2019 15:41

No, 'go on' about it as much as you need to, Rachel <:)>
Rachel wrote:
05 Dec 2019 15:06
I wonder how much of this is brain deterioriation and how much is just her, laid bare
It is a sad conundrum.

Again, it was a different personality, different situation, but I tried to puzzle that one out with MIL. Why did she change so much in the last year or two before she became ill? Was she already ill without knowing it? Was she too old and too tired to resist SIL, with whom she became incredibly co-dependent, and is this why she turned against wife and BIL when they wouldn't give in to SIL's ridiculous demands? Or was she simply giving in and finally allowing herself to show her true colours?

I'll never know. However, looking back, some of the signs had always been there. She frequently found fault with the two children who live in England. That always felt weird, but I always put it out of my mind because it didn't affect me. When, finally, she ostracised wife and BIL, it came as an enormous surprise. But possibly it shouldn't have done.
Rachel wrote:
05 Dec 2019 15:06
That just takes the purple pim...?!
(::) I'd forgotten about that line!
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Re: The To Do List

Post by Mark. » 05 Dec 2019 20:31

I made a strange blooper in my earlier post. Only one of wife's brothers lives in England. The other who lives away from home is only on the east coast of Scotland. Strange how I subconsciously placed him down south :?
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Re: The To Do List

Post by DannyD » 05 Dec 2019 22:49

Feeling beyond tired. I've worked through from 12 until 2210. I scrabbled a 30 Minute break for tea, but it's been an exhausting day on my feet.

To do
Empty Aga
Refill Aga
Crawl up to bed
Dream about having enough energy to close my mouth and not dribble.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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