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The relationship I have with myself.......

Partners, families, children and friends - they all get affected by your drinking.
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Cowboy
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Re: The relationship I have with myself.......

Post by Cowboy » 04 May 2019 14:06

Shadowlad wrote:
04 May 2019 13:51
So onwards it is, and it is with much love and gratitude that i can share this journey with you
Beautifully summarized Nicky. It's so comforting to hear from the ones with longterm sobriety that life still has it's challenges but that by committing to the alcohol free path we can deal with even the most traumatic events in life with a clarity, compassion and honour. I know that it has been a tough year for you and I wish you much happiness. You deserve it.

Thanks for sharing. Cowboy.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

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Shadowlad
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Re: The relationship I have with myself.......

Post by Shadowlad » 04 May 2019 14:18

Thank you so much Cowboy <:)> It is such a pleasure to be walking this path with you, and a great comfort to all of us who strive to stay abstinent. Yours and other's journeys give me strength day by day so thank you xxx
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

DoneandDone
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Re: The relationship I have with myself.......

Post by DoneandDone » 09 May 2019 18:54

Hi everyone on all the threads,

So much wisdom and honesty on BE. Feel so lucky to have found you all.

Heading home today. It was nice to experience an old watering hole sober. Ha ha Saratoga was originally all about water, but I was drinking other things.I won’t get into the issues with the horses and racing. Though I could easily cook up a good rant. It was all so glamorous to me at one time. Next visit I will try to get to the mineral baths, which I couldn’t tolerate while drinking.

Reading through the threads and getting how down so many are feeling my heart went out. In hindsight, I see that the dark places are where I was doing the work on myself. Recently I listened to some wisdom talker on you tube say that it is our intention that matters most in life, not our will power. I really like thinking of that. I guess that would tell me that it was my intention that finally pulled me through to where I could relax and enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Feels good just to breathe sometimes. Sober.

This is something I saw that really resonated for me. Maybe it will help others.

6AC0912A-9DB9-4A13-9141-BDB920651D46.jpeg
Never give up. Love yourself. In any condition. Just as you are.
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It will always and forever be One Day At A Time

TrueState
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Re: The relationship I have with myself.......

Post by TrueState » 09 May 2019 19:06

Hey D&D

I love to read your posts I identify with a lot of things that you share. This one did resonate with me as I have often thought recently that it is through our suffering/bad times etc and working and getting ourselves through that by hook or by crook gives us the greatest understanding of all of ourselves and others

I'm currently working my way through the challenge threads I am on 2-4, 100 days and sober May mostly as I am committed to putting some really good distance between myself and alcohol. I am still doing some inner child work, meditation and breathing exercise as well as working on acceptance and forgiveness. But I know I can't do any of this is any kind of meaningful way without that distance from alcohol.

Anyway just wanted to say hello and good to hear from you <:)>

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Cowboy
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Re: The relationship I have with myself.......

Post by Cowboy » 10 May 2019 12:10

TrueState wrote:
09 May 2019 19:06
But I know I can't do any of this in any kind of meaningful way without that distance from alcohol.
Well said TrueState and in my opinion quite true. Keep going.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

DoneandDone
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Re: The relationship I have with myself.......

Post by DoneandDone » 11 May 2019 15:22

Hey True State,
I really like your moniker. I wish I was from True State, but I’m from New York. (w)

Nice to read confirmation of someone having a similar experience about the suffering piece. I mean I have read or heard or was taught about the suffering and struggles of spiritual heroes all my life, but then for some reason I expected my own journey to be a cake walk? How did that happen that I couldn’t get no satisfaction? Some man coming on the radio telling me how white my shirts should be is how. Ha ha.

Had this stuck on my wall

7BE3D7DC-054F-404A-9C9C-479236835673.jpeg
William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven And Hell 1790
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I am beginning to accept the paradox that in my life script, becoming addicted led me to being happy in the end. Thinking like this is the only way out for me of not being permanently disabled by regret. To take the negative as learning, to see it as a gift that opened my eyes to the truth that what matters is my internal state. Maybe that is also the meaning of the phrase about the road to excess leading to the palace of wisdom. Other’s thoughts on the meaning very welcome.

By happy I really mean being content with whatever is happening. It’s not about winning or losing or getting and spending now. I think I have gotten past that through having hit the bottom of way too many vodka bottles. Now I am able to suspend my judgement a bit and not conclude something is good or bad while I am experiencing it. If I can manage to stay neutral some kind of door in my reality opens. Only if I can remember to observe and not judge. Things are beginning to happen that I was not expecting and they are often quite good or at least tolerable. Instead of me laying on more drama. Even if I do get triggered, at least now there is not the additional alcohol induced tantrum about it.

Getting way too intellectual, some of this has to do what the academics call the Apollo Dionysian complexes. People like Carl Jung etc. The games the gods like to play with human emotion are still active in our subconscious programming according to these scholars and are reinforced by our history, education, myths, movies and music. These programs run in the background compelling us to act against our best interest. Even if we don’t think so. This is hard for me to believe sometimes. I thought they were just distracting or entertaining stories.

This is what Allen Carr was all about helping people learn to identify. The subconscious programming we operate from that makes it so hard to quit. Basically Carr showed me the door to my super powers. By that I mean that I learned that it is up to me whether I am wallowing in misery or moving through life with gratitude for how exciting life really is now that I know I am in the driver’s seat. I run my universe.

Here’s a link on Carr I found. Just glanced so far, but it looked interesting. About the man himself.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1702447/

Goes into why the medical profession was at odds with Carr. Our personal autonomy is involved with getting over addiction and most doctors I have found see themselves as gods and have rarely had much interest in my ideas or empowerment. Carr put me in control of my drinking and not dependent on him. Showed me the power of my conditioning and that I could change it.

There’s a whole world of things to think about and do now sober. So glad you are getting a taste of just how good it can be.

Hugs,
D&D
It will always and forever be One Day At A Time

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Cowboy
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Re: The relationship I have with myself.......

Post by Cowboy » 12 May 2019 14:19

What a great post D&D. Now that I am sober I am working on myself. Our Trojan directed me to a book called Mindfulness which has a lot of the same themes that you have described in your post. I could never, ever have considered this as my former alcohol addicted self.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

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