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Staying Single

Partners, families, children and friends - they all get affected by your drinking.
Alexendra
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Re: Staying Single

Post by Alexendra » 20 Sep 2019 08:47

I am also staying single dear!! I stay with my only girl child since last 4 years. <:)>

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Shadowlad
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Re: Staying Single

Post by Shadowlad » 21 Sep 2019 12:47

Just been having a right old chuckle reading this thread again :lol:

Hmmm, staying single. Well i don't mind sharing my thoughts candidly on this subject. After a rollercoaster period of online dating last year i got quite nervous when a chap declared undying love after 2 messages. Contrary to the 'norm' on dating sites he was not mucky minded and did not want to flaunt his bits on WhatsApp.... BUT.... he wanted me to promise to be 'his forever' and was insanely 'romantic' :?

That's when i halted any dating and left the prospect of meeting someone to fate. Still single and fine with it. The charming Greek sailor on a recent holiday did rock my boat, but only i could only dream of a Shirley Valentine moment, lol.

When i was in AA i noticed several couples who had met each other there. I was married at the time and any relationships i developed were often the brotherly or sisterly type. The subject of dating each other seemed to cause some controversy as most members believed that we should give ourselves at least 2 years of sobriety first to be better equipped in handling a new relationship. This seems very sensible to me, though we are all grown ups and have freedom of choice on the matter. That said, my experience in early recovery is that i was quite vulnerable emotionally and was not able to think clearly on any personal decision. Staying clear of alcohol took all effort and had to be priority for me.

It seems to me that after nearly 7 years sober i am finally comfortable in my own skin and content to stay single, forever if that is how it is meant to be. It is great to be accountable to self only, and have as many animals as i wish without considering a live in partner/ husband. The perks are many, but the best one of all is not having to shave legs every day, hurray !

Of course i would be lying if i said i did not miss the physical side of a relationship, but hey, that is minor in comparison to the freedom of singledom. Sooooo, more pets for now ? Well maybe not at the moment ;)?
Last edited by Shadowlad on 21 Sep 2019 12:49, edited 1 time in total.
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

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Pork
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Re: Staying Single

Post by Pork » 21 Sep 2019 12:48

I have a lot of love to give shadowlad <:)>

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Shadowlad
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Re: Staying Single

Post by Shadowlad » 21 Sep 2019 12:51

Lol Pork, i'm sure you have :D <:)>

So have i if you are a dog, cat, horse, rabbit, ferret, etc etc :lol:

Pigs are cute too xx
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

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Ruby&Tilly
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Re: Staying Single

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 21 Sep 2019 14:44

Shadowlad wrote:
21 Sep 2019 12:51
Lol Pork, i'm sure you have :D <:)>

So have i if you are a dog, cat, horse, rabbit, ferret, etc etc :lol:

Pigs are cute too xx
I'll second that shadow, singledom rocks. ;)?
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)

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Topcat
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Re: Staying Single

Post by Topcat » 21 Sep 2019 14:59

Pork wrote:
21 Sep 2019 12:48
I have a lot of love to give shadowlad <:)>
:lol:
Shadowlad wrote:
21 Sep 2019 12:47
It seems to me that after nearly 7 years sober i am finally comfortable in my own skin and content to stay single, forever if that is how it is meant to be. It is great to be accountable to self only, and have as many animals as i wish without considering a live in partner/ husband. The perks are many, but the best one of all is not having to shave legs every day, hurray !
I'm with you Nicky. The longer I've been single, the more selfish I've become. I don't want to share my space with someone else and I certainly don't want them cluttering up my nice tidy home. I love my freedom to do what I want, when and I want and to spend my money as and when I wish.

There are pros and there are cons, of course, to living alone. Sometimes it would be nice to have someone special, but for me, I think the cons far outweigh the pros.

However, if some gorgeous, rich, hunk wanted to sweep me off my feet, I wouldn't complain ;)
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Today is our most precious possession.

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Pork
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Re: Staying Single

Post by Pork » 21 Sep 2019 15:06

Two out of three topcat <:)> <:)> :geek:

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Topcat
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Re: Staying Single

Post by Topcat » 21 Sep 2019 15:08

:lol: (::)
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Lush4life
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Re: Staying Single

Post by Lush4life » 21 Sep 2019 16:18

This chat on here is making me smile :lol:
Well I'm not single...ATM 8-)
And shadlowlad not do I shave me legs every day :o
After 43 years together they get done only slightly more often than our conifers in the garden;
and that's usually twice a year :lol:
I could add that its our friendly gardener that does the honors (but that'd be telling :roll: )
Maybe that's why my marriage, at times is "hair raising"...yup could be the " root" of all me troubles ;)
Anyhoo, just taking a crochet break, thought I'd check out this lovely forum, hello to all, hope you all have a good weekend; I've just made a plum crumble because...I can 8-)
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
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Topcat
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Re: Staying Single

Post by Topcat » 21 Sep 2019 18:00

Lush4life wrote:
21 Sep 2019 16:18
After 43 years together they get done only slightly more often than our conifers in the garden;
:lol:

Did I hear the magic words "Plum Crumble" \:)/ :D
#5 on the 2020 Challenge
Today is our most precious possession.

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Lush4life
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Re: Staying Single

Post by Lush4life » 21 Sep 2019 18:10

Topcat wrote:
21 Sep 2019 18:00
Lush4life wrote:
21 Sep 2019 16:18
After 43 years together they get done only slightly more often than our conifers in the garden;
:lol:

Did I hear the magic words "Plum Crumble" \:)/ :D
You did my friend, what time you coming round?
I'll put the kettle on ;)?
IMG_20190921_180909728_resized.jpg
IMG_20190921_180909728_resized.jpg (48.29 KiB) Viewed 871 times
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
And rent is due Every day.

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Topcat
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Re: Staying Single

Post by Topcat » 21 Sep 2019 18:35

Oh yummy - I'm on me way \:)/
#5 on the 2020 Challenge
Today is our most precious possession.

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Shadowlad
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Re: Staying Single

Post by Shadowlad » 22 Sep 2019 13:43

(::)

Lushy i did my legs this morning and thought of your conifers for some reason :lol:
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

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Ruby&Tilly
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Re: Staying Single

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 22 Sep 2019 23:02

I call it my winter plumage, unfortunately it can last well into summer. :o

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)

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Ruby&Tilly
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Re: Staying Single

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 25 Sep 2019 22:33

Not sure where to post this but I've got a confession to make. I'm still very close to my ex but I occasionally go out with a male friend who I dabbled with having a relationship with in the past. The problem is I lie to my ex and say I'm going out with a girlfriend as I don't want to hurt his feelings, we're not doing anything wrong, I'm just friends with this guy and I've definitely made up my mind that I'm not interested in him in that way. Should I come clean and tell my ex?

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)

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DannyD
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Re: Staying Single

Post by DannyD » 25 Sep 2019 22:41

Absolutely not. It's none of his business. Unless you want to make him jealous?

Why is he an ex? Do either of you want to get back together?
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Re: Staying Single

Post by martha » 25 Sep 2019 22:44

I don't think you've got anything to come clean about Ruby? You can see who you want and theres no need to tell anyone. Unless it's something thats worrying you for some reason?
Waiting for bunnies to appear in the fields.

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Ruby&Tilly
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Re: Staying Single

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 25 Sep 2019 22:54

Thanks for the replies Danny & Martha, I posted on the grateful thread yesterday that I asked my ex yesterday whether he wants to get back together, I certainly don't want to go back to the relationship we had but if we can have a heart to heart talk (and lots of compromise) I think maybe we could make it work. I'm not seeing him til Friday so we've both got plenty of time to think about it.

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)

martha
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Re: Staying Single

Post by martha » 25 Sep 2019 23:02

Sounds good, Ruby. I hope it will all work out the way you want it to \:)/
Waiting for bunnies to appear in the fields.

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DannyD
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Re: Staying Single

Post by DannyD » 26 Sep 2019 07:35

Last summer I tried getting back together with the father of my children. He lives 200 miles away. It didn't work. Within months he was drip feeding me the old "you're useless" nonsense. I had to stop it all. It had been a lot of fun until the controlling instinct came out again. Classic was after I'd told him it wasn't working ("so why do you invite me to visit?" "I don't, you invite yourself."). On the last morning (when you might think he would be pleading his case) "you must know you're carrying excess weight ...."

I'm a hundred years wiser. Sorry Ruby. Men don't change.

But I really, really, wish you good luck.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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