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is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Partners, families, children and friends - they all get affected by your drinking.
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pickles
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by pickles » 09 Sep 2015 05:21

Hope you are okay hedgehog <:)>
' Normal ' is just a setting on the washing machine .

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Topcat
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by Topcat » 09 Sep 2015 06:39

Hope you are ok too Hedge <:)> <:)>
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ODAAT
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by ODAAT » 09 Sep 2015 08:28

Hope you are ok Hedgey - sending big hugs x
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Hedgehog
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by Hedgehog » 09 Sep 2015 14:01

I'm OK. :)

Everything seems so much worse when adding drink to the mix. I'll learn. One day. :?
Breaking on through to the other side. \:)/

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Dove
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by Dove » 14 Sep 2015 11:35

I'm scooting about the forum trying to distract myself if feeling like I have passed the point of no return!
Massive bust up wiv my partner he is a loving kind man who treats me like a queen n yet I am driving him to his final breaking point! N I did the same just drank more drink sat when thought he had left took a load of pills n thought sod it if I'm going out I'm going out! Needless to say I vomited everywhere n did not succeed coz I didn't want to that was the drink not me!
My other half wiv my brother had to break in n for a second he thought I was dead!
Wat a long second for him n sum thing I can never forgive myself!
I can't even remember seeing him! I was a mess!
I have told him I need this week to sort myself out I knew my detox wasn't going to b a pretty one! N I need to get my 7 days wiv out him! The promises the lies, the general crap that comes wiv being an alcoholic!
My brother put n empty bottle in front of me as I had a cap of vodka coz I am so alcohol dependent now n said there u go that's ur life if u don't get sober jst me n an empty bottle!
I miss my partner n it hurts to know I hurt him n my family! N I think can I ever show my face in public again! But I know I can if I want it if I get sober I will wear my badge wiv pride!
Because being an alcoholic isn't sum thing I want to be ashamed of I want it to say I hit my bottom but by god girl u got back up!!!!
I am thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn't have stumbled across my strength.

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BradPittsUglyBrother
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by BradPittsUglyBrother » 08 Nov 2015 18:42

Blimey, alcoholism is a SOB isn't it !
What really freaks me is that I try to do the best for my family, but I fall short because I drink destuctively.
I live with "a rather marvellous" person. She is tremendous. We both drink, only one of us haphazardly. But we both drink.
Quite loathe to say that if we both didn't drink we'd find happiness, but in all honesty I'm beginning to doubt. What do you guys think ?
Of course, I can guess ....
"Winston ... If you were my husband I should flavour your drink with poison ..."Madam, if I was your husband I should drink it"...

MissRose
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by MissRose » 17 Nov 2015 19:27

Hi all,

So here I am again. The support of this forum was amazing, I called Al-Anon and managed to get some sense out of my OH. I think he knew I was at breaking point and he managed to get off the drink, got a job and it's been a wonderful few months. I was so happy I gave him another chance and I thought he was happy too.

He wouldn't come to bed last night complaining of a stomach ache, and when he eventually came to bed I could smell the vodka. It was his day off today and he's been drinking all day. I tried to ask if he was ok and that I was concerned... But I was met with the same aggressive, angry response and I just don't know how to react for the best. Thanks x

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pickles
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by pickles » 18 Nov 2015 09:06

Hello MissRose, I can only suggest that you try speaking to Al-Anon again ,and see what advice they can give.

I haven't really read the advice on the link http://alanon.activeboard.com/t43337469 ... ink-again/ here, but you might find some kind of help .

Also there was this BE LINK, if you had not seen it. Plus the links from the last time and Winkler's advice.

Hope this may help.
' Normal ' is just a setting on the washing machine .

MissRose
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by MissRose » 18 Nov 2015 17:35

Thank you Pickles. To be honest it just helps writing it all down!

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BradPittsUglyBrother
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by BradPittsUglyBrother » 29 Nov 2015 14:05

Hi everyone,
I am humbled by all of your posts. What fantastic people.
I guess like most of you, I'm struggling along, trying to understand what the whole thing's about. But, keep trying is my motto. I've had a drinking problem since, maybe 13 years old. Thankfully I don't look wizzened, and I've stayed lucky through years of abuse. God knows how.
Anyway, my dearest wife, love her to bits, drinks far too much (and I'm qualified to recognise this), my primary problem is that it doesn't take too much arm twisting for me to jump on board.

Am I enabling her ? I'd hate for her to go through the same thing.
Brad.
"Winston ... If you were my husband I should flavour your drink with poison ..."Madam, if I was your husband I should drink it"...

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ScotsMom
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by ScotsMom » 03 Feb 2016 16:27

Hi :\:

I'm a married mum to 4 kids. My husband and I drink too much. I put myself in danger and I made a complete fool of myself at an event and afterwards. I walked away from my husband and went to my sisters house and went crazy mad. I know if I was sober, I would not have reacted the way I did and I hate myself for it. I do not like who I am when I am drunk.

I'm drinking more than ever and we argue more often than not. I'm so sick of it. I love my husband very much and I want us both to be together forever. I've been with him for near 20 years but only married in past 6 months. I asked him if he would like to get on board with me to help us achieve a better relationship and he told me he would only drink on weekends. I can't force him to join me but I'm hoping when he sees me trying, really really trying, that he may see how much it benefits us. We do have other issues we have not addressed that happened in the past, rug sweeping I guess but we're never really sober to really talk. Husband isn't the best about talking nitty gritty and when we do, it always ends in arguments.

Dh has also stated on occasions that he would like to at least cut down. We tried dry January and a few days later we were drinking every night and have been near since, 1 or 2 days free out of the month. I consume at least a bottle of wine every night and he 6 beers and both of us more on weekends. It has to stop. Our poor kids hate the I/we drink so much. I'm going to make them proud of me.

First day dry and I want to keep it that way. This is going to be a climb but I felt determined and hopefully, with the help of this site and the people here, I will succeed.

ScotsMom
I will not feed my demons.

Sarah12
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by Sarah12 » 03 Feb 2016 21:20

Scotsmum!

We are behind you. Great that you have shared. No mean feat.

Many of us struggle. ... perhaps most of us. Me included.

What's there to gain for you in succeeding?

Sarah x
The ONLY thing that stands in our way of sobriety, is ourselves.

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ScotsMom
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by ScotsMom » 03 Feb 2016 21:59

Hi Sarah and ty for the reply.

I will have a better relationship with my husband and kids and my relationship with myself.
Not feeling hungover on most days will be good.
Will save money.
Will gain more respect from my kids, I know they hate it.

The thought of being able to look back on my horrible choices and see them as a thing of the past.

I will do this.

ScotsMom
I will not feed my demons.

Sarah12
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by Sarah12 » 04 Feb 2016 07:20

They are pretty worthy reasons!!!! You can do it. S x
The ONLY thing that stands in our way of sobriety, is ourselves.

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olivegrey
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by olivegrey » 04 Apr 2016 17:58

My drinking has finally broken my relationship. My OH has said it's too much and he's leaving. I've been sober for the last 10 days, I'm going to AA daily, I'm doing the 12 steps. I'm really trying hard but he says bridges are burned. My heart is broken. He's seen my dry off for months then lose it and he has lost faith. He says he no longer loves me, just feels resentful and angry.
AA must be doing something as Oddly I don't feel like drinking on this. I really hope there is some way back in the future. I love him so much despite my behaviour.
Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realise the strength, move on.

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DannyD
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by DannyD » 04 Apr 2016 20:29

Olive I'm really sorry to read this. Drink is a wrecker of relationships. My husband left me (with 2 under 5s. On reflection several years later, when I'd sobered up, I realised how totally irresponsible that was of him, but I digress). Now, years later, I can look back and see that life was much easier for me as a single parent. It would have been MUCH easier if I'd been able to stop drinking, but you have to do that for yourself. Don't let him leaving sideswipe you. You are drinking/not drinking for you, and it has nothing to do with outside influences. I'm sure you're feeling destroyed and bereft. Keep sober, stay focused, look after yourself.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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diamondoll
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by diamondoll » 04 Apr 2016 21:57

I'm sorry to hear this too Olive. Danny is right, in lots of ways. My husband also left when my two were under 8 ( He also took the car, and left me without an income as we ran a business together. He then fiddled the books so that he didn't have to pay child support) Naturally, as someone with a drink problem I took all of the guilt onto myself. Talk about hindsight!
Stay sober Olive, it's the only way to survive this, and don't see it as a way to "show him" because that would be to invite failure.
Do it for you and only you.
Things happen for a reason, but if you aren't sober you won't recognise the opportunities that are lining up for in your new, sober future.
Sending you strength and <:)> <:)>
Caroline
A day without wine is a day full of sunshine!

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olivegrey
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by olivegrey » 06 Apr 2016 09:48

Thank you for the kind replies, He hasn't physically left the house. I am doing my best to conduct myself with dignity. I am lucky there are no children involved other than his who I will miss terribly. Oddly enough it's not making me want to drink. I need to strive to be the best me I can be. Whatever comes from that will come. I really appreciate the support.
Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realise the strength, move on.

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RubyTuesday
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by RubyTuesday » 11 Apr 2016 14:29

Hope you are doing ok there Olive <:)> drink has wrecked several of my relationships in the past, especially hurtful was my daughters father. I hope you can work things out, there is always hope which is what I firmly believe so hang in there. Thinking of you xx
Ruby

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BradPittsUglyBrother
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Re: is drinking wrecking your relationship with your partner?

Post by BradPittsUglyBrother » 11 Apr 2016 23:43

Girls, sounds like I have an uphill battle with you feminists. If you only know how much I totally respect you guys !
"Winston ... If you were my husband I should flavour your drink with poison ..."Madam, if I was your husband I should drink it"...

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