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Friends, old and new

Partners, families, children and friends - they all get affected by your drinking.
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StressedWife
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Re: Friends, old and new

Post by StressedWife » 09 Dec 2012 23:23

My hubbys friends are adding fuel to the fire here, well more specifically his work colleagues are, from what he's told me they are all heavy drinkers and this just convinces him that "if he's an alcoholic then so is everyone else" but then when challenged about whether his friends at work hide their empty cans, drink to oblivion on their own etc etc he sheepishly admits that i'm right. He has mentioned moving work place anyway recently a few times so i'm hoping he does as I really think it would help!
"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies" - Mother Teresa

cowboy

Re: Friends, old and new

Post by cowboy » 04 Mar 2013 12:33

I have many cyber friends in these here parts and wanted to let you know that I am doing OK. Not exactly AF but not killing myself with binge boozing anymore either. For now (NOW being the operative word) I am picking my times to ... well .. get drunk with friends on this side of the computer screen. I am not so naive to believe that I will not be back here for another 4 month AF session and am therefore not closing my account. Don't get me wrong. It's not like I am going go out on a 2 week binge or anything just because I know I can always come back here. More like a Linus security blanket kind of thing ;)

To all my cyber friends, old and new, AF and struggling with this terrible addiction. I wish you well on this road we call life.

Take Care. Cowboy.

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Mark.
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Re: Friends, old and new

Post by Mark. » 04 Mar 2013 13:11

It's always mighty grand to see you, Cowboy ;)?

Don't leave it too long till we see you again.

Take care and - happy trails <:)>
Nie chwal dnia przed zachodem słońca.

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caroline95
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Re: Friends, old and new

Post by caroline95 » 04 Mar 2013 13:42

I'm glad you're not closing your account Cowboy, you would be much missed.I hope you don't stay away too long - take care of yourself out there on the range <:)>

brighteye44

Re: Friends, old and new

Post by brighteye44 » 04 Mar 2013 14:08

Cowboy, always enjoy you being around, take care and come back soon ;)? <:)>

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Topcat
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Re: Friends, old and new

Post by Topcat » 04 Mar 2013 14:24

You take care CB and come back and see us soon <:)> <:)> <:)> <:)>
#5 on the 2020 Challenge
When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

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DannyD
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Re: Friends, old and new

Post by DannyD » 05 Mar 2013 03:27

Life. It's all choices and attitudes and revolving mirrors. Take care out there Cowboy.
be selfish in your sobriety.

cowboy

Re: Friends, old and new

Post by cowboy » 11 Mar 2013 10:29

Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post friends. Falling off the horse is easy. Getting back on is tougher. Staying on is a lifetime commitment and challenge. Maybe staying on forever and ever is not for me. I know one thing though - sobriety is great. I like how you feel so much better in your mind and in your body. Drinking Cowboy is sicker in the mind and body that non-drinking Cowboy.

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DannyD
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Re: Friends, old and new

Post by DannyD » 11 Mar 2013 12:01

\:)/ waving. Cowboy. \:)/
be selfish in your sobriety.

cowboy

Re: Friends, old and new

Post by cowboy » 12 Mar 2013 10:19

Waving back DD. Just waiting for this winter to clear out of here so I can get my bike out.

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DannyD
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Re: Friends, old and new

Post by DannyD » 12 Mar 2013 12:23

Ride a hoss bareback. It'll keep you warmer. Brrrrrr. It's a bit nip an' tuck over here an' all.
be selfish in your sobriety.

cowboy

Re: Friends, old and new

Post by cowboy » 13 Mar 2013 10:38

Hey Joopers. Thanks for asking. Still struggling with the "meaning of sobriety" if the truth be known. Last ride of 4 months was a good one but I can't seem to achieve and maintain the same strong feelings about being and remaining sober. As I posted many times, I was fearful of that one slip that would cause my brain to click that drinking was OK for me. Well it happened.

It wasn't any fairy EAF, it wasn't any life changing experience, nothing like that. Just a subtle click like a tumbler in a safe combination and I'm back to my old self and comfortable in my reality. I blame nothing or anybody. What or who's to blame? I need to cope and live with who I am.

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DannyD
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Re: Friends, old and new

Post by DannyD » 13 Mar 2013 10:47

I can identify with that cowboy. I often feel just one click away from the safe tumbler combination. I have to project myself into the next day and how I'd feel. And also I've been bragging to EVERYONE and the world that I've been sober for so long. It's another obstacle I've put in my way.
be selfish in your sobriety.

brighteye44

Re: Friends, old and new

Post by brighteye44 » 13 Mar 2013 11:40

cowboy wrote: It wasn't any fairy EAF, it wasn't any life changing experience, nothing like that. Just a subtle click like a tumbler in a safe combination and I'm back to my old self and comfortable in my reality. I blame nothing or anybody. What or who's to blame? I need to cope and live with who I am.
Cowboy I'm right there with you and struggling in a similar way, this morning I wondered if I should have a break from here as I don't just want to use it for a chat forum but then I don't have any other outlet at the minute. Stick around and keep trying to jump back on, we can only do the best we can. Might have to invest in a horse so we can go trekking around together ;)?

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DannyD
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Re: Friends, old and new

Post by DannyD » 13 Mar 2013 11:58

joop wrote: ....The pain, the cringing, the self remorse and guilt. Its easy to romanticise the happy days of drinking but they've not happened in the last few years for me, so I know what will happen when I drink. My drinking was a cage I trapped myself in. Scares the hell out of me, as I knew where I was, who I was in that cage. The freedom can be a little scary and over whelming sometimes but its better than the smelly cage - I have to remember that on the low days.

But I'm glad you still posting and figuring things out. This is all about you and how you feel and what you want from all this. Its about you and no one else, but we can offer support when/if you want it.
Thanks Joop -it's how I feel. I want the romantic idea of drinking but I know I've gone beyond that.

Shoot. The things we do to ourselves!
be selfish in your sobriety.

brighteye44

Re: Friends, old and new

Post by brighteye44 » 13 Mar 2013 13:02

MissJoanne wrote:BE-

If using this place as a 'chat' forum stops you from relapsing, then go ahead!

We are all only one drink away from a slip or a full relapse, that's why we post here daily about life in general to support each other and stay AF.
Hugs,
Jo xx
<:)> <:)> Its just not working much at the moment MJ but i keep plodding.

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croaker
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Re: Friends, old and new

Post by croaker » 27 Mar 2013 10:24

Not really sure where to post this. I've done many hurtful, thoughtless things over the years when drunk and I was wondering how people deal with these memories, lost friends, partners. And also how, if, it is possible to make good these broken relationships. I feel like I've pretty much abused everyone I've ever got close too, one way or another and am friendless. The idea of never having a loving relationship of any kind is pretty miserable, but I don't really know how to go about it. I've secluded myself socially to drink alone and now the idea of trying to make new friends, as a man of 35 living alone with no hobbies, is terrifying.
Listen to the advice you would give someone else. You're worth just as much as them.

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smudge
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Re: Friends, old and new

Post by smudge » 27 Mar 2013 13:54

Sorry, I don't have a good answer to your questions croaker. Other people coming along may have more useful things to say than I have. But I do think that worrying about it now is much too early in your sobriety and is a distraction from getting sober. Emotions during the early weeks and months of withdrawal and sobriety can go haywire. Dwelling on something that upsets you is not a good plan. I realise this issue is not going to go away for you but I really think you should revisit it in a few months time.

Good luck. <:)>
"I would rather be a non-drinker with the occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with the constant desire to quit."

Learn from other's mistakes, you won't live long enough to make them all by yourself.

I'm not a doctor!

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croaker
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Re: Friends, old and new

Post by croaker » 27 Mar 2013 13:55

Thanks Smudge. Smaller steps I guess.
Listen to the advice you would give someone else. You're worth just as much as them.

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smudge
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Re: Friends, old and new

Post by smudge » 27 Mar 2013 14:29

Another reason for suggesting you put things off for a while is that our own attitudes and feelings change so much after we get a decent amount of sobriety under our belts. I used to feel weighed down by my own guilt and paranoia when I was drinking and in early sobriety. I was able to take a more pragmatic? sensible? balanced? view of my drinking behaviour once I'd been sober for a while. And, to some extent, I was able to forgive myself for some of the things I had done while drunk.
"I would rather be a non-drinker with the occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with the constant desire to quit."

Learn from other's mistakes, you won't live long enough to make them all by yourself.

I'm not a doctor!

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