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Advice please

Partners, families, children and friends - they all get affected by your drinking.
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DannyD
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Last Drink Date: 0- 0-1973
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Re: Advice please

Post by DannyD » 17 Jan 2017 12:38

The vicar is just another man. Don't let them gang up and bully you. Remember the phrase "I feel..." , because this IS all about how you feel. I'm not sure what your husband wants. Is it worth asking while the vicar is there? A) to stay in the marriage, but continue to browbeat you; B) to stay in the marriage and change (and trust me, I'm a hundred years older and wiser, men don't change); C) to end the marriage. Could you face that and all it's financial ramifications? And what do you want? Is he the same man you fell in love with? Has he changed, or has his true self emerged? If neither of you are happy, what would make you happy? Living apart (maybe in the same house?). Take yourself out for a walk away from the Scene of The Crime, and have a good think.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Lush4life
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Re: Advice please

Post by Lush4life » 17 Jan 2017 12:57

Thanks Danny , am babysitting now she's asleep and my head spinning , our house definitely big enough to share only 3 in it now but as I said to the vicar over the long term there would be more row's and that's hardly fair on our daughter , she's just 16 .
What do I want ?
The man I married when just 18 , he always had this temper but must have controlled it better ,truthfully I don't know how it's all got like this , but know it's very unhealthy for all concerned.
I feel when we talk to vicar he (husband) will just be paying lip service so don't feel that hopeful and yes financially I would struggle , although not old really I do have , some days , bad arthritic pain that can make walking, bending tricky nothing compared to some I realise .
I feel like you that someone maybe god maybe my lovely mum is looking out for me , it'll be ok, bugger am crying now !
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
And rent is due Every day.

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DannyD
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Last Drink Date: 0- 0-1973
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Re: Advice please

Post by DannyD » 17 Jan 2017 13:31

Sorry Kim <:)> <:)> . This might be a very low point, but you know it can get better. Only you can know the answers you want. It's good that you're seeing this 'counsellor' type vicar together. It does mean that your husband is trying to sort things, if he's arranged this.
be selfish in your sobriety.

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Shadowlad
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Re: Advice please

Post by Shadowlad » 17 Jan 2017 15:40

A big hug from me Kim <:)> <:)> I hope you are alright lovely lady xx
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

Alexendra
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Re: Advice please

Post by Alexendra » 20 Sep 2019 08:46

(w)
Last edited by Alexendra on 20 Sep 2019 08:48, edited 1 time in total.

Alexendra
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Re: Advice please

Post by Alexendra » 20 Sep 2019 08:48

Hope you got a solution to this .. Can you tell me whether you have resolved this problem yet or not ??

Mackintosh
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Re: Advice please

Post by Mackintosh » 20 Sep 2019 10:39

Gosh this post really resonated with me....am going through something similar....my OH has become violent towards me when I've been drinking....such tough decisions to make. I am AF 11 days now and have set up some councelling for me. Need to decide the best way forward...I would lose everything if I left and have no money to fall back on so it's very difficult :x
Sobriety is not an anchor, it's a pair of wings.

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SoberBoots
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Re: Advice please

Post by SoberBoots » 21 Sep 2019 08:52

Mackintosh wrote:
20 Sep 2019 10:39
Gosh this post really resonated with me....am going through something similar....my OH has become violent towards me when I've been drinking....such tough decisions to make. I am AF 11 days now and have set up some councelling for me. Need to decide the best way forward...I would lose everything if I left and have no money to fall back on so it's very difficult :x
Nothing's more important than your safety. I've been in a very abusive relationship in the past and in the end left stone broke. You find a way forward and get back on your feet - it seems impossible at the time but you do. Looking back, my only regret is that I didn't leave sooner. Life's too precious to waste on such shit.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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