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how much more can i take .

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 17:19
by mo rolfe
I have joined this forum as people on here who can understand how i really feel .

At a breaking point as dont know what to do , my husband drinks from the time he gets in from work until he falls asleep drunk well thats when he goes to work other wise he will start in the morning , he can be so nasty to me and drags all my family into it and tells me its my fault .

He must drink about 100 cans of beer a week which we can not even afford to buy , also he suffers with depression and takes medication which he has been told will not work while drinking . He has also taken 3 overdoses in the past few years when he has been drunk .

I would like him to go so he can sort his probem out but then maybe for me it will be to late because he is turning me against him with all his mental abuse and name calling i have to take . He always says i will stop tomorrow but dont think that will ever happen as it never happens and feels ill and has the shakes when he dosent drink .

wish i knew what to do


Re: how much more can i take .

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 18:02
by mkj
Hi Mo,
Sorry to hear youre in this situation, a drinkers world is full of tomorrows and empty promises. You must understand you are not to blame, its his choice to do it and his choice to stop, whats important is your welfare , that has to be the primary issue to you, you will not stop him unless he wants to , plead ,chastise as you may. As long as you put up with it you are enabling and eventually it will make you ill as he is. There is help out there and support is vital, but its up to him to find it , that way he is acknowledging his problem,if you feel you can support him and want to then do but this can be done from a distance, no one needs or deserves to live with a drinker and sometimes detaching is the wake up call they need.
Keep posting on here because you will receive the support you need and deserve.
You take care

Re: how much more can i take .

Posted: 02 Oct 2011 18:15
by Therapy
Hello Mo

Your husband's drinking is his choice, you and your family are not to blame for his behaviour. For the sake of your physical and mental health and that of your children if you have any, seek support and sanctuary with friends and family and leave him to fend for himself. Only he will know when he's hit the bottom of life and only he can decide to change his and your life for the better. Ensure your own needs are met above his in order for you to keep and grow your self esteem and confidence.

Chin up.

Re: how much more can i take .

Posted: 03 Oct 2011 00:59
by another_day
I'm so sorry to hear your story. It doesn't sound like he wants to quit, and if he is bringing you and especially kids into that sort of an abusive relationship, it becomes dangerously unhealthy for everyone. There is a big difference between someone who has a substance abuse problem and someone who is abusive to others while they are abusing a substance.

Re: how much more can i take .

Posted: 03 Oct 2011 01:08
by Boris Bike
You may also find this organisation can help, Mo:

Re: how much more can i take .

Posted: 03 Oct 2011 09:19
by mo rolfe
Thank you all for your kind support , I had to leave the house last night and go to my sisters as he was being vile and abusive to me in front of the children . Going to try and get some advise today to see where I stand .

Re: how much more can i take .

Posted: 03 Oct 2011 11:56
by Boris Bike
Please let us know how it goes, Mo. Your experience may prove helpful to someone else and if we know what advice you get we may be able to point you to other things on top or, if you don't get much support, be able to suggest something else.