Page 1 of 1

Confused

Posted: 01 Nov 2011 19:57
by CiCi
Hi I'm new to this - I'm in a great relationship that was heading for marriage. Until - my drunken fights got in the way. When I drink I get crazy I think. I have been told how mean I get and it's gotten pretty nasty between me and my man on those nights. I know it's not all me because he can't drop anything even when I say let's not talk now we r drinking and that's never good. But he says I shouldn't bring up anything to argue over in the first place and he has a great point. Why do I do this? Y do I get mean? This is the only time we don't get along. We talk about kids and marriage all the time. I'm thinking it's hard liquor and have chose to give that up now and see. Any thoughts?

Re: Confused

Posted: 01 Nov 2011 20:03
by claremo
Hey CiCi everyone is different but i am a similar sort of person sometimes am suprised my Hubby married me, I get nasty if i drink spirits and i mean nasty!!! After my own sister broke my nose one new year to sort me out i stopped with the spirits and stuck to beer/wine but it wasn't long before my old drunken self re-appeared so for now am staying sober, wether its permanant or not i don't know yet.
Like i say we are all different, there is lots of threads on here if you want to stop try the 7 day thread for a start or there is the cutting down thread if your thinking of going down that route.
Best of luck xx

Re: Confused

Posted: 01 Nov 2011 20:24
by CiCi
Thank you for your reply. I'm sad that u went through this too, but happy I'm not alone. I feel like I had the world at my fingertips, and now I'm soo down. I think this fight was our last.. If you know what I'm saying. :(

Re: Confused

Posted: 01 Nov 2011 20:30
by Mark.
Hi CiCi - and welcome!

I'm not a physically abusive person, drunk or sober - but my personality does change after I've been drinking, particularly if I'm already mildly depressed/stressed/worried or whatever. It horrifies me - I think most people see a fairly mild, happy guy when I'm sober. But when I'm drunk I (apparently) become spiteful and sarcastic. I say "apparently" because I have no recollection of ever being any of those things - not even the memory of even feeling spiteful or sarcastic.

But I believe the reports, and I know for sure I once told an uncle (who's very dear to me) to f* off, which shames me horrendously.

As Claremo says, I'd definitely advise trying the First 7 Days Challenge, of staying off alcohol for a week. It'll give you a chance to assess the strength of your reliance on alcohol, and it'll give your mind and body a chance to recover too. Then, you'll be in a better position to decide what to do thereafter.

Like I say, I only become truly horrid when I drink whilst mildly depressed/stressed/worried or whatever. Sometimes, I was the life and soul of the party. Thing is, I finally chose to accept that I couldn't always be sure which Mark would arrive at the party - "life and soul Mark" or "a**ehole Mark". I found it much easier just to give up alcohol rather than continually run the risk of "a**ehole Mark" rearing his ugly head again. And he would have done eventually - or will do, if I don't continue to avoid getting drunk.

That's an individual decision though, so all I'll do for now, CiCi, is wish you the very best of luck with absolutely everything!

Best wishes,
Mark

Re: Confused

Posted: 01 Nov 2011 23:58
by CiCi
Thank you Mark - I'm very glad people read these and respond. It is very helpful and I relate to you on the not knowing what we do when we drink. I've had my share of blackouts and luckily have gotten that under control. Unluckily, anger found me. I like your response saying u finally realized u never knew which mark would appear when you got drunk. That's very wise. Thanks again.

Re: Confused

Posted: 15 Jan 2012 12:25
by itstime
Jarvis Jones wrote:
Like I say, I only become truly horrid when I drink whilst mildly depressed/stressed/worried or whatever. Sometimes, I was the life and soul of the party. Thing is, I finally chose to accept that I couldn't always be sure which Mark would arrive at the party - "life and soul Mark" or "a**ehole Mark". I found it much easier just to give up alcohol rather than continually run the risk of "a**ehole Mark" rearing his ugly head again. And he would have done eventually - or will do, if I don't continue to avoid getting drunk.
Jarvis I relate to this so much. Others even gave my alter ego another name for gods sake. This has been for the last 9/10 years. I am popular I think but I know people are concerned of offering an invitation..not knowing who will turn up. For years this was a topic of amusement.. and I would brazen it out the following day without remembering anything about it. The last couple of years and meeting new peope I desperately have tried to control my scathing tongue. Sometimes it worked ... most of the time it didn't..

The person I feel responsible for is my husband ( who by the way is living in a different country at the moment- suppossedly for work. But I know different... this line is for the benefit of others). He is respected and well liked by others. Yet he struggles with being looked at with pitying looks.

I am not ready to talk freely about this, I am still trying to wade my way through this at the moment. There is lots more to this story. But I would like to come back to this thread at a later date

Re: Confused

Posted: 29 Jul 2013 05:57
by drunk1
I drink most nights of the week. I have a man that hates it but loves me more. I have five kids that have come to understand it. I hate that my kids understand it. I hate even more that I am ok with it. I have tried AA it does nothing for me it makes me believe that I can never do any better than what I am. I know that I can do better and I have done it many times. I had my set of twins when I was 17 and proved to the world I could do it better than if I was married and older. It is 13 years later and I hate that I am doing worse than I was 13 years ago. Please Help?

Re: Confused

Posted: 30 Jul 2013 06:42
by drunk1
thank you martha and I have always thought the same way. I am just so much more unmotivated than I was then because of alcohol. I need to get rid of it but I dont know how?!?

Re: Confused

Posted: 30 Jul 2013 06:47
by Sandy
Gerry just lost a post o drunk1!!
Anyway hi drunk1 and welcome to BE

Re: Confused

Posted: 31 Jul 2013 14:52
by Sandy
Lol
Just re-read the above post sent the other morning

Confused ????
I certainly am but as I have said before my iPad always seems to know best!!!
I think Gerry was actually supposed to be GRRRRRR!!!!

Re: Confused

Posted: 01 Aug 2013 21:11
by katydid
I think Gerry was actually supposed to be GRRRRRR!!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol: I wondered what you meant - I thought you must be the drunk one, but now it makes sense :D