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Losing all hope..

Partners, families, children and friends - they all get affected by your drinking.
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stuartmc
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Joined: 29 Dec 2011 21:35
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Losing all hope..

Post by stuartmc » 29 Dec 2011 21:44

Hi, new to the site but looked it up through desperation. All the support I can find online is for women and nothing for male victims. I have reached the point of desperation, the abuse, the name calling and critisising, physical attacks, being arrested for protecting myself, the constant constant drinking, the dangers she puts herself in. Cant keep praying for a quiet night and all will be sober and fine in the morning.

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freefall
Posts: 294
Joined: 13 Nov 2011 20:24
Last Drink Date: 23 Sep 2012
Location: scotland
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Re: Losing all hope..

Post by freefall » 29 Dec 2011 22:11

hey stuart, hows it going.
sounds like you need to leave. no one needs that shit.

tim29
Posts: 917
Joined: 10 Oct 2011 20:21
Last Drink Date: 25 Dec 2011
Location: UK
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Re: Losing all hope..

Post by tim29 » 29 Dec 2011 22:18

hi stuart

It sounds like a bad situation. Unfortunately, only she can do anything about her drinking. I an truly sorry about the situation you are in, but i feel the only option yot have is to tell her that you are leaving and the reasons why.

I feel that if yot leave, she navy realise that she has to change something if she wants to get yot back.

It is not nice, but i think it is the only option

homeluvinman
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Joined: 06 Nov 2011 23:37
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Re: Losing all hope..

Post by homeluvinman » 29 Dec 2011 23:17

Hi Stuart. Firstly, a big step for you to come on here and pour it out, so thanks for doing just that. I can't agree or disagree with Freefall or Tim as I am sure there is much much more you know that you have not shared. What I do know is that you are with your partner because you love her and have stayed put for the same reason even though life is becoming harder and harder to justify. If you didn't love her, you wouldn't have come here, would you? I also know that alcoholics turn on the people closest, and therefore safest, to them and as hard as it may be to understand, they would never do this in their sober moments.

I want to share my experience with you as we are on the same side of the fence. Firstly, this is not about you. It is about your partner and her relationship with alcohol. Secondly, she has to decide to do something about it for her and no-one else. Thirdly, it is your decision as to what is acceptable and what isn't.

I have been through something similar for the past year and I left to put some distance between us and to focus both our minds on what was really important to us. I also let my wife know about this site and suggested she looked through some of the postings. The result is that she has been using the site often and gets a lot of strength from it. She has seen what I wrote about our 'problem' but you can always delete your bit if you would rather not let her see it. We are back together and working towards sobriety together.

As someone said to me, you obviously care enough to find this site and write from your heart. Take strength from this and do you best to encourage your partner to do the same and to get help from more knowledgable people than you or I. We are here to help and support each other so please keep posting and good luck.

HLM

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CJ
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Joined: 02 Jun 2010 17:47
Last Drink Date: 22 May 2011
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Re: Losing all hope..

Post by CJ » 29 Dec 2011 23:53

Hello stuart,
Found the following links that may be helpful

http://www.mankind.org.uk/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/mens_advice.php" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
"My urge is never to have just a glass even if the EAF pretends it is, my urge is to get wasted. When I am getting urges like that it is impossible for me to kid myself that I no longer have a problem." Pineapple

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