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8 months pregnant and 7 months sober

Posted: 24 Jan 2012 06:04
by KateFitz83
On wednesday I will b 7 months sober. Its a good feeling. Especially being 8 months pregnant and ready for my daughter to get here. When i first found out I was pregnant it was 2 days after a really big night of drinking, not one of my normal binges tho due to not having used anti depressants for a long time, I had about 12 beers and couldnt understamf why i wasnt feeling anything. Two days later we found out I was pregnant, and 2 days after that I was being kicked out of my parents house because of it. I lived with my unborn daughters father for 3 months, then my mother finally gave in and let me move back home. All of a sudden in October me and my daughters father broke up and we began fighting on a daily basis, badly. Now we dont talk and he ignores me. He has nothing for our daughter, not even diapers. A few weeks ago I came out to him and told him about my alcohol problem. i have been hiding it for 4 years and it only ever gets out of control when i take anti depressants, i will binge off alcohol and the meds for hours until i pass out. I know he thinks i am making this whole thing up but its the reason i broke our relationship off and why i treated him like shit when we were together. I felt too unstable to be with anyone and too afraid to tell anyone about it. To this day my parents dont even kno about my problem. I am also afraid to tell them about it too. Being pregnant made it easy for me to get off my alcohol and anti depressants, but the longer i dont have my meds the more i realize I cant live a normal happy life without them. I am now going to therapy and constantly going to AA meetings either with or without my fellow alcoholic/mommy to be. I am so afraid that my daughters father doesnt love me and wont ever come back into my life for me,i really still do love him and want him around, I am also scared that if i start anti-depressants again that i will start to drink again. I am just really not so sure what to do.

Re: 8 months pregnant and 7 months sober

Posted: 24 Jan 2012 07:42
by zelda
Hi Kate,
firstly, congratulations on your being pregnant! You are about to live the adventure of your life!
I think you need to rethink what you have said. Antidepressants and alcohol don't mix so you do not even want to be thinking of going down that road. You are going to be a mother, your child will need you and be totally reliant on you so being a drunk is no option either my dear.
If you decide to go back on antidepressants, you need medical advice, and if it is when you 'feel less down' that you want to drink, you need to ask yourself 'why'? Is it the good time element? Do you enjoy being hammered? As a mother, this will not be an option anyway. What will you do if your baby needs urgent medical attention, and you are too pissed to deal with it?

Keep fighting to be sober Kate. You evidently have the strength to do that as you have done it for seven months.
I wish you well,
Zelda xx

Re: 8 months pregnant and 7 months sober

Posted: 24 Jan 2012 11:17
by 40percentproof
What an immense achievement

Re: 8 months pregnant and 7 months sober

Posted: 24 Jan 2012 17:46
by Boris Bike
I'm no use regarding relationship things, but with regard to drinking and anti-depressants: I've known quite a few people on anti-depressants and I take them myself, I've also done a fair bit of reading about them over the years. I haven't heard of anyone feeling that the medications make them more liable to start drinking. That's not to say it can't happen, of course, everyone's different.

But it does make me wonder if it's more of a mental association you've built up between alcohol and ADs rather than anything that's in the meds themselves. Or I guess it could be that if the ADs you took did indeed lift your spirits they made you feel more in a party-going mood?

There's a wide range of anti-depressants and it's quite common for people to try different ones before they settle on something specific. Maybe, if you need anti-depressants, you could try a different one and perhaps they won't be a trigger for you?

Re: 8 months pregnant and 7 months sober

Posted: 24 Jan 2012 23:14
by PandaGirl
Honey, do you think you use the AD's and alcohol as a way of blocking things out? I don't know how you feel when you use both, but my experience was a spaced out feeling, kind of unreal and detached from reality. If it's that you're craving, then it might be useful for you to explore through therapy why you need that escape. Are there perhaps issues you are trying to escape from in your own mind?

Winker's advice is very sound and wise. I would read, and re-read that post. It makes a lot of sense.

Re: 8 months pregnant and 7 months sober

Posted: 25 Jan 2012 06:23
by KateFitz83
Thank you all so much for your replies. It really helps alot. As for my relationship, we arent togther, we dont speak, he ignores my phone calls and my text messages. I was taken to the hospital from work a few weeks ago for contractions that they couldnt stop. I called and text him until about 2 in the morning when they decided to finally inject me with stuff to make they calm down and stop coming so fast. It was a scary situation. He still to this day tells people that I was faking them for attention. You cant fake contractions when you are hooked up to a monitor that its tracking them.

The ads help me alot with my mood and I really cant control my anger and depression without them. Before I was drinking and when i was actually taking my medications like a normal person I felt great like nothing could get in my way of being happy even though I would run into bumps in the road I just looked at them as an inconvinence instead of a problem that caused anxiety and stress. When I started drinking and using ads it seemed to make my drunk high come faster, and it seemed to taste better and smell better, all the more appealing to my liking. I drank as much as I could as fast as I could. I talked to my therapist about this and told her that it didnt matter how much I drank I could keep going without throwing up, she told me that it was because I had so much serotonin built up in my system that it deffinatly helped me not throw up or have hang overs. Either way once I mixed alcohol with my meds it messed everything in my body up and I again became depressed, moody, and bitchy. When this would happen i would just think the meds stopped working and just stop taking them, then I would stop bingeing, and just become a normal drinker with no issues. Shortly afterwards I would become so depressed without anti-depressants that I would smash face first into the ground and end up with a huge mental breakdown and get back on the anti-depressants and the same thing would occur.

I am honestly sick of the vicious cycle I have gotten myself into with my addiction. I am now going to therapy and anticipating getting back on my meds when my daughter is born. I have had nothing but anxiety filled days since about friday. I am so worried about my daughters father being in her life or not and mine as well. I still do love him very much and want nothing but the both of us to be happy for once. AA has helped alot. I journal everyday and write out my prayers to my higher power. Today was a terrible day, it was like all i did all day was have a pity party for myself worrying about my relationship and whether I will end up getting fired from my job or not. Finally tonight I felt at peace. Which is what I have been praying for. I fianlly realized that I really cant change him, I can only change me and how I think and percieve things. Right now I have everything I need along with my family and my parents, and a couple of friends who are standing on the sideline cheering me on willing to pull me through this. Right now I still have my job and if for some dumb reason I do get fired its ok because it was in Gods plan. Everytime i start to think of this stupid situation with him that i blow up into this huge mess i tell myself "NO its in Gods hands now, so you need to walk away and let him handle it". I felt alot better when I realized that its not that hard to have faith and believe but I also felt dumb for putting up such a fight with myself and doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself today.

Sorry if I am babbling but today started out really crappy and turned out to not even be as bad as I thought it was, and actually nothing is as bad as I thought it was. I guess I am just crazy for the way I was thinking. I also wrote my mother a letter today telling her about my addiction. I cant sit and tell her about it I am too afraid to face her and actually tell her, plus it makes me feel worse because she told my therapist how grateful she was that I didnt abuse alcohol or drugs, boy was she wrong. Lots of things to be anxious about tomorrow. I could lose my job and my mother will finally know the truth that I have been hiding for 4 years

Re: 8 months pregnant and 7 months sober

Posted: 27 Sep 2012 05:52
by alex444
I imagine it should feel great, your body has had plenty of time to recuperate and you probably have much more energy!

If your isolation doesn't bother you, more power to you, but is your isolation a result of your sobriety? Are all your old contacts people that you used to partake in your old behaviour with? If so, maybe it wouldn't hurt to reach out and find some new friends (and I know, that's WAY easier said than done.) Otherwise, you may find later on down the road that you've become a little bitter and quite lonely. Maybe finding other people to be around can help you overcome your general annoyance with people and instead help you realize what traits in a person you enjoy, and which you find annoying.

Re: 8 months pregnant and 7 months sober

Posted: 13 Oct 2012 07:51
by alton
Nice post. I like it. Thanks for sharing these information. Keep it up. \:)/

Re: 8 months pregnant and 7 months sober

Posted: 10 Sep 2014 13:26
by mehak
very nice post

Re: 8 months pregnant and 7 months sober

Posted: 25 Sep 2019 12:27
by Alexendra
Hi KateFitz83 !! How going on your life You took a right step at that time. I would say women should have either control on drinking or better to stop their drinking habit during pregnancy for a healthy child. <:)>