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The Three Month Challenge.

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pickles
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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by pickles » 06 Apr 2016 02:17

Even if keeps coming into your head , maybe you should speak with your GP ,like jaded suggested . Anyone with these thoughts should talk to someone . Samaritians ? It's on the front of SOS and has been copied a few times on there .

Well done on getting sleep and food, hopefully you will feel a bit better today, day by day it gets better <:)>
' Normal ' is just a setting on the washing machine .

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Vertical Man
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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by Vertical Man » 06 Apr 2016 05:03

Totally agree with Pickles re Samaritans - excellent organisation who can help ;)?
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Sarah12
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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by Sarah12 » 06 Apr 2016 07:16

Hi CT...

It sounds as if you're withdrawing from benzos to me. I think in a way that's probably a good thing as that too will pass, much like the alcohol withdrawal. Stick at it girl. You can get there.

The rest of you 3 monthers how goes it? Im nearly onto the next level. Feel s a bit like a computer game from when i was a kid. I wonder what the next tier will look like? Hopefully blue skies and a less bumpy road.

Sarah x
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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by ChamomileTea » 06 Apr 2016 23:55

Thanks everyone. At least now I know what it is!! Unbelievable, how much I suffered from a couple of pills. I suppose if I drank for two days straight I'd feel pretty bad too.

I've been to work today and I'm feeling generally better. Thanks for being here for me everyone.

Blue skies indeed Sarah! <:)>

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Jaded
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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by Jaded » 07 Apr 2016 00:28

hi all

So glad you are feeling better tonight CT <:)> no more wonky benzos, ey? :?

Sarah, we have the coffee on (tea?) , waiting for you over at the Sixers \:)/

Libz, you still hanging in?

I'm waiting for commercials to be over so the soccer game starts...jeesh...apparently a lot of alcohol is drank/sold at soccer games. Seems kinda dumb, it being a healthy sport and all but...guess that's the way of the world.

have a good evening all

jaded
xo
“Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly until you can do it better" -- Zig Ziglar

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ChamomileTea
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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by ChamomileTea » 08 Apr 2016 00:03

Thanks Jaded. Yes, absolutely no more benzos!!!

Didn't go for the work pub trip tonight -- seemed not a great idea after having been a bit ropey recently. I wanted a glass of champagne in the office -- but I challenged myself and asked myself "why do you feel like you have to have one?" and the feeling just went away. So I got a champagne flute with fizzy water in for clinking and waving around.

Looking forward to being hangover free tomorrow when everyone is moaning :-).

Big hugs to my fellow travellers.

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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by Iroquois » 08 Apr 2016 19:37

Hi CT, Jaded, Sarah and anyone else here today! :\:

Glad everyone is feeling pretty good and resisting the cravings! I am glad you are back to work and feeling like your self again, CT, have a good self pampering weekend. Well that goes for all of us, let's be nice to ourselves and really change those thoughts from negative to positive. Good spring renewal thoughts about our lives, let go of worries and fear, they are so counterproductive to good mental and physical health! (::)

I had my grands for a couple of days, they just wear me out! In a good way, they are so active, so full of energy. And, always so hungry! I can never keep them full, they just burn so much energy. Wish I could be more like that, so sick of my weight gain! I just did not even realize that I was substituting food for the alcohol, but I sure know it now! Time to go high protein, low carb, I guess!

Take care, all, Deanna :mrgreen:
There isn't enough alcohol in the world to make you happier, calmer, prettier, more clever or less angry.
Only sobriety will help you achieve these attributes.

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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by Sarah12 » 08 Apr 2016 21:43

Hi lovely ones!

Deanna I get you. Those oldies have more time than anyone under 45 for a whole lot of things !

CT keep the focus. You have come through so much. Please remember that you can do anything. We all can.

Monday is my move on date. I won't lie. I feel immensely proud but yet humbled to have got this far. I don't want to go back to the person i became. I have more to feel and give than that x
The ONLY thing that stands in our way of sobriety, is ourselves.

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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by Sarah12 » 10 Apr 2016 20:39

Hello oooooooo


Any other person out there?

My last day here. ...Believing this is my break to real AF life. Hope many of you can join me soon. I really do. It's easier together for sure.

Mummy, daddy and tinker day here... sunshine and a bit of rain but AF xxx
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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by Iroquois » 10 Apr 2016 21:13

Hi Sarah! Good for you on staying AF, and totally enjoying this new and bright life!

CT, are you taking a break? I hope you are still well and just taking some me time. Come on back and let us know how you are doing, ok? I miss our discussions and laughs!

I was supposed to have my grandies again today, but woke up with a stomach bug of some kind at 2 a.m. and had severe pain for a few long hours. I am feeling a little better, now, but still have a very tender stomach and will need to head back to bed to lie down. My grandson is also sick so I guess they wouldn't have come over anyway! Oh well there will be lots of days this summer! (::)

Good for you, Sarah, getting to the next level! Keep on doing whatever you are doing that is keeping you sober.

Cool and cloudy here today, with a forecast of lots of rain for tonight! Snow in the mountains, but just rain down here! Yea, spring is here!

Best wishes all, Deanna :mrgreen:
There isn't enough alcohol in the world to make you happier, calmer, prettier, more clever or less angry.
Only sobriety will help you achieve these attributes.

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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by ChamomileTea » 10 Apr 2016 22:18

Hey my lovelies!

Yes, I should have warned you all that I'd be offline this weekend -- I had my family over for a post-birthday celebration. I've had an absolutely wonderful weekend. Lots and lots of fresh air and exercise and play with my niece and nephew (my nephew especially gets a bit difficult if he's not running around). I feel really good -- I didn't have to hustle anyone out the door either -- sometimes I get a bit moody after having too many people around.

We went out for dinner and my mum insisted on getting a bottle of wine for the table. I rather wish she hadn't -- it was my birthday celebration after all, but meh. Sometimes it is easy and sometimes I have a "moment". But once I committed and said i wasn't drinking and ordered some fizzy water, I didn't think about it again. And after my mum drank most of the bottle there was no resentment or anything at all when I said it'd be better if I drove on the way home. Despite her saying "well I'm over the limit but I'd probably still drive better than you"!!!!! She didn't mean it like that, she meant that I'm very used to my own car (we took hers cos it's bigger and we needed the seats). It gave everyone a good laugh on the way home that I kept turning on the wipers instead of the turn signal!

I am rambling on, but I'm like... *pfoof*, *big sigh*, *shake of head* about what I've been through with my mood recently. I suppose next time I will know not to make it worse with benzos. But it was a hard ride and I can't thank you folks enough for being so kind and so on the nose with knowing what the problem was. It was hard to see it on my own, I think drugs can be like that.

I'm glad everyone seems to be doing well on the not drinking. But I'm sorry to hear you have a stomach bug Deanna. Sounds very unpleasant -- you rest lots and drink lots of water. I'm looking forward to the summer too! I don't like the hot, but I will very much enjoy being able to cycle more in the mornings and evenings.

Sarah, massive (::) (::) \:)/ at making it to the next thread! You're right to be proud. I tell 7 dayers "it gets easier" and it does, but it's really not easy. Especially when complacency is often tapping on our shoulder. I've not yet ever made it to the 6 month thread. I have trounced my personal best though -- 84 days.

One last silly fun thing for us journeyers. I ordered "sparkling water" today, and on the bill they'd called it "sparkly water". I love it! I will call it that from now on.

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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by Iroquois » 11 Apr 2016 19:47

Hi Jaded, Sarah, CT, PJ and any others in today! :\:

Oh you lucky girls, knowing how to play the piano!!!!! I would give about 1/4 of my heart to know how to play piano or even have a piano to mess around on! I always thought that that might be a possibility, but I have arthritis in my hands now, not bad, but probably enough to give up the dream of having a piano and knowing how to play the lovely thing! I love classical music, and would love to be able to play, but that is probably very difficult unless one is pretty accomplished! Sa la vie!

I have plenty of other distractions to keep me busy! Right now, a stack of dishes is calling my name, over and over and over!!!! :lol2: I still have a bit of a twinge of stomach pain. Beginning to wonder if I am having a bit of gall bladder problems. Hope not, already deeply in debt with various medical problems of yore!

Happy Birthday, CT and PJ, hope you have (had) good birthdays! Glad you stuck to "Sparkly Water" Cham!! Ha, ha, ha, I love that. I will have to tell my gandies, maybe it will make fizzy water more appealing to them?!? I doubt it, they think it is just yuk, and here I am totally hooked on the stuff! I would guess that I quaff down about 20 liters a month! Wow, better than wine which I could guzzle 20 liters in a week!

PJ. I am about to reach my 11th month AF! A year will be May 16, I do have to admit that after one gets through the initial WD, cravings, the EAF trying to convince me it is ok since I feel healthy cravings, and then the odd thought in a worried mind that it would be ok to just zone out a bit, the time does kind of fly by! (::)

I hope all of you stick in there, and keep on keeping on, because it does get much, much better!

Deanna :mrgreen:
There isn't enough alcohol in the world to make you happier, calmer, prettier, more clever or less angry.
Only sobriety will help you achieve these attributes.

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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by ChamomileTea » 11 Apr 2016 22:38

Hey PJG! Thanks for popping in!

Oooh yah I remember scales, lots and lots of scales and arpeggios. It wasn't even just that they were dull, it's that y ou had to do them again and again long after you'd learned to do them!

I mentioned I like your blog PJG. Big :-O at giving up alcohol and cigs at the same time. I know what you mean though -- there's a point where you just think "I'm SO unhealthy". To be honest, I still feel that way as although I do a bit more exercise now, I am still eating like a pig. Everyone said I'd lose weight when I "got rid of all those alcohol calories" -- but I think that's more if you drink little and often. Big binges don't really get... er, absorbed. You know what I mean!

Hey Deanna. 11 months, that's amazing. Wooo! (::)

I'm no master (mistress?) pianist. If I practice lots I can learn to play nice things, but I can only sight-read really simple stuff. I'm always like "whoooaaa" at people who can pick up anything and play. It's a shame you have arthritis -- I think you could perhaps still learn but it'd probably be too painful to be fun!

Right, Monty the cat is hassling me. I think he just wants attention. Or food. And I should think about chilling out in prep for bed -- been at a friends tonight, which was nice, but I like my alone down-time!

Thanks for the birthday wishes and of course the words of encouragement. It's great to have you around this thread! <:)>

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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by ChamomileTea » 12 Apr 2016 20:27

It's quiet in here.

Well I for one, am declaring today a success :-) \:)/

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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by Iroquois » 12 Apr 2016 20:44

Hi Ho Gang! :\:

Glad to see you all here, still marching forward! Gads, I got up late today, so late getting on here! Nothing much new, just a chilly day, but supposed to get very balmy from Wed. to Fri. and then maybe winter will be back! Winter? Mother Nature likes to play these little jokes on us, give us spring in February and then winter in April! :( What can ya do? I will get outside when I can, I guess!

My hands aren't too bad, my right pinky finger is the one that is swollen and crooked. It does hurt to type a bit, but not enough to make me quit typing! I learned to type really fast when I worked for a a small town newspaper for 21 years! To me typing is just second nature and I find it very relaxing. I designed ads and other things at that job. It was very fun and stressful, with deadlines all of the time. Didn't pay crap, though! That is why I changed careers in mid life. Whoa, don't know why I got off on that! :o

Hope everyone is doing great and the sun is sining where YOU are! 8-)

Deanna :mrgreen:
There isn't enough alcohol in the world to make you happier, calmer, prettier, more clever or less angry.
Only sobriety will help you achieve these attributes.

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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by ChamomileTea » 12 Apr 2016 22:45

Heh -- I suppose I never thought anything of it that you're "older" but you write long posts. But it makes sense that you are friends with the keyboard!!

I am too, I'm a computer person. I'll come out and say it -- I'm a software developer (that's a computer programmer, for the uninitiated). I don't think I've said what I do for a living before on here -- I guess privacy concerns. Anyway, that explains my introvertedness, my office full of men, and my friendship with my keyboard!

I've had a good evening of just continuing to clean up after everyone left. Lots of sheets to wash, food to finish before it goes off etc etc.

I was wondering why I felt so positive and pleased with myself. I think it's because I got through the terrible low and didn't drink. It feels like a big milestone -- I've never done that before! I don't know how I did it. I think it is finally sinking into my brain that alcohol doesn't make things better, even in the short term. All it does is give me something to focus on -- "I feel terrible because I drank". Easier than "I feel terrible for no reason" somehow.

I don't know if any of that makes sense to anyone else. Reading it back it sounds like I'm just saying "I drink to run away from feelings" -- which we all know and I guess that is all I mean!

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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by Iroquois » 13 Apr 2016 18:51

Hi Gang, :\: <:)>

Cham, I know the feeling of exposure about giving things away about our lives on here! But, I think we are still petty anonymous, even though sharing our professions. The thing is, what we did (do) shapes the way we are and our attitudes, habits, etc. I have been a loner all my life, I have tried being in relationships, but always drift back to being more comfortable being by myself. I think I have finally begun to accept that, and not beat myself up because I don't have a partner, missed out on all the couple-ish things.

In my first rehab, we had group sessions with speakers, always former addicts of some sort. One such session, the speaker told us about the roles often played by the alcoholic family. One or both parents are alcoholics, the first born child was the caretaker, the second child the maverick, the joker, striving to please. Then the third child was the forgotten child. He spoke of her as a girl, played alone with her dolls, no one in the family much worried about her, she survived on her own. As he was describing this child, I burst out crying in sight of everyone, something very, very unlike me! I was that girl! I was that lonely, sad little girl. And I guess I still am, and probably always will be. And my older brother was the caretaker, very responsible. My middle brother was the maverick, the star, the favorite, he excelled at every sport he ever tried and was much loved by many. All three of us were alcoholics, I think, and all drank with gusto.

My older brother finally came to be able to be a moderate drinker. My middle brother died at age 30, not from alcohol, but from an accident at his job. The loss of him was devastating to so many because he had been charismatic and much loved and admired. I still have people, today, tell me that they still miss him and he has been dead for over forty years. My older brother and I are estranged, we never speak, for various reasons.

I don't know why I felt the need to share all of that, but I guess it is because we are the sum of all of our experiences. And I wish that I would have found sobriety a lot sooner. If anyone reading this grew up in an alcoholic family, then try to find help for that instead of just continuing the pattern. My mother did not drink alcohol, but she was profoundly emotionally ill with anxiety and depression before those were recognized as treatable.

Anyway, I am sorry if I have been less than upbeat today, but did want to remind everyone that the past can play a roll in recovery, getting help for addiction and the dregs of substance abuse in our minds is so much more acceptable nowadays. Get help if you need it, you don't have to suffer alone.

Deanna
There isn't enough alcohol in the world to make you happier, calmer, prettier, more clever or less angry.
Only sobriety will help you achieve these attributes.

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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by ChamomileTea » 13 Apr 2016 20:14

It's really interesting to learn a bit more about you :-)

My parents are a long story! But it's fair to say that neither of them were alcoholics when I was growing up. My mum has had troubles with alcohol, but not when I was growing up.

I'd be naive if I said my childhood didn't affect me. I have a very strong fear of upsetting people, which definitely comes from childhood. In many situation it's an advantage -- I very rarely trample someone's feelings by mistake. In some it's a disadvantage -- it's really hard for me to say "I don't agree with you" or "I think that's wrong". I enjoy listening to intelligent debates, but I don't enjoy taking part in them.

As for being single/alone -- yeah, I'm also in that boat. I'm open to having a relationship, definitely. But I don't seek out other people for entertainment (friendship or romantic) -- I prefer to be on my own. So the chances of me meeting someone who happens to gel with me is pretty low. Plus I think a lot of people would, fairly, be put off by the whole alcoholic thing.

So it leaves me in an interesting position. It's not that I want to be on my own. I've been single for about 4 years now, so I'm comfortable alone. I don't feel any need to have a partner. But I wouldn't mind having one. I would like to have children and it'd be... easier, to do that with a partner than to go the donor route

A bit of a long post without much content -- I really wish I had more people to talk to about the whole singleness thing. But I haven't met anyone like me, who is single and would quite like a boyfriend. People seem to be either attached, fiercely single, or actively looking.

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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by ChamomileTea » 13 Apr 2016 20:16

Hey PJG!! It's ok, me and Deanna are having some deep convos. I'm not sure where the rest of the 3 monthers have gone.

Hellloooooo?

*SHUSH IT'S A LIBRARY*

I'll probably wander around some other threads while the other 3 monthers are out and about :-)

[edit] PJG -- I got caught up with your blog after my "meh about dating" post. I should try approaching random guys and asking them about dinosaur penis!!

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Re: The Three Month Challenge.

Post by ChamomileTea » 14 Apr 2016 20:02

Glad you put a link to your blog in your sig PJG -- I was going to suggest that. Love your latest post!! Omg though, you're a bloody wildcat when you're drunk. I suppose I do have some shocking stories of nudity, but they were all drugs not drink. Have been thrown out of a nightclub or two drunk -- but usually cos I broke the rules cos I was too drunk to understand what was going on.

What's terrifying is that I've met people (not many, but one or two) who really glamourise that sort of out of control behaviour. The whole junkie chic look. It's not until you've done it that you understand how much it makes your flesh crawl in embarrassment after! I have also urinated on myself more than 5 times less than 10 when drunk -- no one thinks that's glam ;)

I'm not feeling good today -- it's PMS time again, and as a result I uncontrollably ate chocolate a lot today. Now having a sick "no real food" sugar crash moment.

Watching 'Falling Skies' on Netflix. It's good. It's a post-alien-invasion-apocalypse show. Only watched a few episodes, but I'm enjoying it cos the characters are unrealistically savvy. So far the plot hasn't leaned on anyone being idiotic. Which is my bugbear about a lot of stuff.

So yeah, not amazing but not awful. Hope everyone here is well.

Morning Deanna!

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