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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

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Cowboy
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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Cowboy » 02 Nov 2018 00:19

Hello Redeyes and welcome. It feels good to here doesn't it?

I agree it is quiet on here these days but there are quite a few of us in and around this stage. I find myself sometimes questioning why I am doing this but then my reality brain kicks in and brings back all those memories. That has taken me a lot of practise because during those temptation spells we always seem to disregard the bad times and focus on a time or two when we really enjoyed drinking. That has been a big hurdle for me that I need to get over once and for all.

Happy AF days to all in these parts.

Cowboy.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Redeyes » 03 Nov 2018 23:26

Thanks Cowboy. Have you been around the forum for a while? I think I remember you. I originally joined the site in 2012 and a few times after under a different name (as another person joined with the user name Redeyes).

Weird to think it's been 6 years since then and I'm still going through the same feelings of wanting to quit and be rid of this addiction. My friends don't really get it. My hubby refuses to recognise that I need to stop drinking completely (but does complain a lot when I do drink!). It's so frustrating as those people around us are the ones we need to support and encourage us, reinforce, and understand our need for clarity in our decisions, but they often cloud our judgement.

My friend said she thought we were 'becoming boring' when I told her we'd decided not to drink in our house anymore. Her first reaction was, "WHAT?" She was totally flabbergasted. "EVER???" she said. I explained that our evening tipple had grown into 3 sometimes 4 nights drinking. Often more than a bottle of wine per night for me. I explained that a few years ago I was drinking 5/6 nights and didn't want to get to that state again. Wine o'clock used to be when our kids went to bed at 7pm. But now they are older and our wine would open before lights out, the cork popping time was getting earlier and earlier. Recently starting at 4.30pm on a Friday and leaving a lot of time where our teenagers were witness to our habitual drinking.

Catherine Gray's book talks about rebranding being sober as something which is positive, warm and fuzzy, not 'stone cold' as it is often labelled. I'm going to do my best to champion this idea. As I think she's on to something. This shift in thinking helps to shed the stigma and the anti-social rep that being tee-total often comes with. It's not about saying no to alcohol - it's about saying yes to everything that's worth having in life. Our youthfulness, our energy and vitality, our free time, our freedom not to be tied to a drug, our ability to explore more than one social activity, to open avenues to learning and different hobbies and interests, to develop our skill in communicating authentically (not being inebriated), saying yes to progressing as human beings, investing in our health, our relationships and doing so in meaningful ways. Being able to look people in the eye, and talk directly to them, instead of speaking out of the side of our mouths because we're breathing last night's fumes. Sober is definitely where it's at. Sometimes raw, but always real.

November Day 3/30 complete
Last drink 29th September 2018

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Cowboy » 04 Nov 2018 12:28

Hi Red. Yep I've been in these parts for quite a while. Too long actually. Should have had this thing beaten over and over again but it's a hard nut to crack. Looks like you have the right perspective to kick drinking in the butt. I wish you well on your journey. Cowboy.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Neal » 07 Nov 2018 19:09

Redeyes wrote:
03 Nov 2018 23:26
rebranding being sober as something which is positive, warm and fuzzy, not 'stone cold' as it is often labelled. I'm going to do my best to champion this idea.
I like that, Redeyes - warm, fuzzy sober!
Redeyes wrote:
28 Oct 2018 22:02
It seems quiet here at the moment, but I'm moving in for a while
Cowboy wrote:
02 Nov 2018 00:19
I agree it is quiet on here these days but there are quite a few of us in and around this stage.

Happy AF days to all in these parts.

Cowboy.
4 days, and I'll be joining you guys here. I might not be a prolific poster at present but I'll be here. (I'm so busy - how'd I have the time to drink? Oh I know - I just didn't do stuff, or if I did it I didn't do it right.)

Neal

;)?
"...all that road going, and all the people dreaming in the immensity of it... and tonight the stars'll be out, and don't you know that God is Pooh Bear?"

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Cowboy » 08 Nov 2018 07:59

That's just great news Neal. Good to see you doing so well. Keep it up amigo.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Cowboy » 11 Nov 2018 13:39

Well 77 days today. That's a great number ain't it? Always loved the look of that crooked number and now I have two of them. But only for today - and 777 is a ways off.

So I guess 77 means 11 weeks. That's correct folks. It almost seems normal to not be drinking again - almost. But as we all know in these parts you need to be diligent at all times and very diligent when temptation comes knocking. I really don't like to pay a lot of attention to the past but when those temptation thoughts come I transport myself back to those days that preceded my Day 1 way back when. Well those hungover mornings are definitely the biggest drag. It's so nice to wake up with nothing more than an appetite. It's heaven to sit and enjoy a nice hot coffee by the fire on a chilly morning with a smile on my big stupid face and a full AF day ahead.

Well another week to go and I can join the 6 month thread. I haven't been in THAT place in a year and I am looking forward to staying much longer this time around.

Have a great day folks. Cowboy.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Spats » 11 Nov 2018 18:19

That’s brilliant news cowboy (::) Don’t stop now, ;)?

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Neal » 12 Nov 2018 16:29

Great going Cowboy - staying true to Temperance Trail. And I know what you mean about diligence - I lost my way a wee while back for losing mine. But here I am, day 29 and heading towards a 2nd month of sobriety. I feel so much the better for it.

All is well.

Neal

;)?
"...all that road going, and all the people dreaming in the immensity of it... and tonight the stars'll be out, and don't you know that God is Pooh Bear?"

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Cowboy » 12 Nov 2018 22:16

Good to see you here Neal. It's tough getting through that first month as you well know. My hats off to you.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Neal » 13 Nov 2018 05:45

Cowboy wrote:
12 Nov 2018 22:16
Good to see you here Neal. It's tough getting through that first month as you well know. My hats off to you.
Thanks Cowboy. It has been a challenge at times. Working on my fitness and watching weight loss helped. But when the yang starts they don't help a great deal.

Only a couple of serious wobbles. I usually retreat, with my mood, to a room alone where reading my own historic posts, and the posts of others on BE, helps.
I'm glad I'm still here, I'm glad you're still here, I'm glad everyone's here and I'm so grateful that BE exists.

Day the thirtieth here.

Neal

;)?
"...all that road going, and all the people dreaming in the immensity of it... and tonight the stars'll be out, and don't you know that God is Pooh Bear?"

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Neal » 14 Nov 2018 06:50

31 days - one calendar month - moving out of this limbo. And it feels great. I'm just back from my morning run though and the happy dolphins (that's what DD calls endorphins) are swimming.
"...all that road going, and all the people dreaming in the immensity of it... and tonight the stars'll be out, and don't you know that God is Pooh Bear?"

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Cowboy » 14 Nov 2018 10:13

I like that about the dolphins. And I love that feeling as well Neal. There are times when my head hits the pillow at night and I just feel so grateful to be alive. That never, ever happens when I'm drinking. My head just hits the pillow and unorganized thoughts swim around in my head. I'm pretty sure you know what I mean. I wish you well in your journey. Cowboy.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Neal » 14 Nov 2018 16:53

Cowboy wrote:
14 Nov 2018 10:13
I'm pretty sure you know what I mean. I wish you well in your journey. Cowboy.
Thank you Cowboy. I know exactly what you mean.
"...all that road going, and all the people dreaming in the immensity of it... and tonight the stars'll be out, and don't you know that God is Pooh Bear?"

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Sammie » 24 Nov 2018 10:05

Well I guess its time to move on up here ;)?

Neal are you still about? Hows the running going, I'm currently managing 10km twice a week and then a (very) slightly faster paced 5km once a week. I've booked on for a half marathon about 6 weeks before and a 16 miles run 4 weeks before :shock:

Had an early wake up call this morning due to my 7 year old having a friend over for a sleepover, managed to stumble out of bed and tell them to watch TV quietly downstairs before stumbling back to bed - I am so not a morning person, drink or no drink ;). Don't have much at all planned today other that one daughter to a sports club and that's it, planning on a netflix family movie and popcorn tonight and that'll do me ;)? I love having days with nothing planned to just chill. I was getting a bit panicky about the calendar filling up over the xmas period but at the moment its quite manageable and hubby and I have agreed to add nothing more to it ;)?

<:)> <:)>
Every storm runs out of rain.

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Neal » 24 Nov 2018 13:59

I'm still here.

40 days and 40 nights done and it's now day 41.
Sammie wrote:
24 Nov 2018 10:05
Neal are you still about? Hows the running going, I'm currently managing 10km twice a week and then a (very) slightly faster paced 5km once a week. I've booked on for a half marathon about 6 weeks before and a 16 miles run 4 weeks before :shock:
My running's going good. Still really working on my base/care fitness. Running mainly 3-5km a few mornings midweek before work and then longer at the weekends. Have a 10k trail run tomorrow and another in a fortnight. I've also signed up for a few more runs/races to tie in with my training plan which kicks in on Christmas Eve. Gradually losing weight - much needed - and that is making it all a bit-by-bit easier.

I haven't logged in for a few days - nice to be busy and lazy (at times) too. I did have a low mood last night - a Friday night slump that showed I had forgotten to remember how bad booze is for me. Or had I remembered to forget, with John Barleycorn whispering about the working week's end deserved buzz in my mind's ear. Glad I ignored him - especially this morning when I was out in the dark on the run. All is well again.

Hope you're good, Sammie and Cowboy and anyone else hanging around in the autumn optimism - keep the faith!

Neal

;)?
"...all that road going, and all the people dreaming in the immensity of it... and tonight the stars'll be out, and don't you know that God is Pooh Bear?"

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by QueenBee » 24 Nov 2018 19:57

Hi,

I've been struggling with my alcohol abuse for nearly 3 years.. drinking 4 bottles of wine a day... 29 days ago I admitted myself into a private treatment centre. It was the best thing I could ever have done...only now I am finding it hard to cope with no routine or structure in my life!

QB x

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Sammie » 24 Nov 2018 20:30

Hey QB, firstly well done you for check h yourself into rehab and doing what needed doing, it was a very brave and honest thing to do <:)> .
Start with small basic things that you can easily do everyday and that don't put any stresses on you, plan and make your 3 meals a day, go for a few walks, have a long hot bath, plan treats for your evenings, have a good book, read sober blogs, watch the soaps, lots of self care and love and then you can build on that.

You've got off to a great start now it's time to carry on <:)>
Every storm runs out of rain.

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by QueenBee » 24 Nov 2018 22:44

Thanks. I will try and make some small plans. Tiny but positive steps.

;)?

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Neal
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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Neal » 25 Nov 2018 08:59

Great advice Sammie.
Exercise is great for physical and mental health according to the experts and in my experience. Getting some daylight, some fresh air, some change of scenery...

Hope all's well with everyone.

Neal

;)?
"...all that road going, and all the people dreaming in the immensity of it... and tonight the stars'll be out, and don't you know that God is Pooh Bear?"

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Sammie » 25 Nov 2018 16:53

Evening peeps,

What's that Neal????? 6 weeks!!!!! \:)/ (::) ;)?

QB, small steps forward, small goals and LOADS of treats. No stressors, no booze <:)>

I think yesterday summed up my perfect day: hubby took daughter 2 to clubs for the day, myself and daughter 1 pottered round the house, read the papers, ate things that didn't need preparing. I then dropped her at her sports club, went and had a coffee and cake and read my book before picking her up, went home, had a 1.5 hour bath whilst drinking becks blues and eating chocolate, cooked a quick dinner and ate it in front of the tv watching a family movie, ate popcorn, ate chocolate, drank tea, went to bed and read. PERFECT. Woke this morning hangover free and able to face a child's birthday party ;)?

I have now blocked my xmas calendar for any more social events and am looking forward to more weekends like this one :D
Every storm runs out of rain.

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