Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

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swordgirl.
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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by swordgirl. »

Awww, thanks Jake, Trojan and Mark ;)? That’s very kind of you to say that!

Hope my fellow team mates are ok - Jake and VM? Have you seen your brother Jake? Hope you had/have a nice time. I managed to see my sibling on Saturday, we managed to walk 10,000 steps so I will have to see them more often if we do that every time!

So I’ve got my first online counselling appointment today, it’s free. I’m a little bit apprehensive. I’m hoping it will be ok but it’s always such a gamble as to whether the therapist will be the correct 'fit' for you. I’m supposed to be getting ready for Christmas today and tomorrow but this appointment has slightly put a spanner in the works. Never mind, I’m not serving Christmas dinner so I am sure it will all be fine, just got a few presents to sort so will have to brave the city centre. I feel quite fortunate that I’m not in the thick of Christmas get togethers/ lunches etc as there is no pressure that way.

Hope everyone has a good day ;)? See you all later.

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Jake.
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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Jake. »

Good morning all.

1 month and 19 days sober here. I’m looking forward to xmas now. My bed had broken so i went to pick up a bed i bought from ebay yesterday. My friend has been lovely and offered to help me put it up so doing that later.

I haven’t seen my brother yet swordie, but hopefully later. Well done that’s a great number of steps! I hope your therapist is a good match. It can be hit or miss but i hope you manage to discuss good topics together and open up. I hope it’s not too busy for you shopping! I am doing mine xmas eve as that’s when i get paid.

Thinking of you VM

Have a lovely day all x

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Mudbucker
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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Mudbucker »

Hi all,

I'm graduating to here- day 29, so I'm in the limbo between finishing 4 weeks and starting my second month! I'm not usually very praise or reward driven, but over the Xmas and New Year's period I get to recognise 4 weeks, one month, then finishing the December challenge. I'll make best use of whatever I can get to ride out the booziest week of the year!

Well done to everyone else on your progress, let's keep at it together! ;)?
The regret after drinking is worse than the desire before.

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Jake.
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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Jake. »

Well done on 4 weeks mudbucker, and great to have you here!

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Mark.
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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Mark. »

Yes, well done, Mudbucker (::) (::) (::)
"There was a house we all had in common and it was called the past, even though we'd lived in different rooms."

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Trojan »

Well done, Mudbucker - that's solid progress. Choosing the sober path is a massive life upgrade, so I think you're right to recognise each milestone ;)?

Jake, I hope you have a good meet-up with your brother. I visited my sister last weekend, and it was lovely to catch up :-)

Swordie, I hope your counselling session goes well. Let us know how you get on? ;)?
Au milieu de l'hiver, j'apprenais enfin qu'il y avait en moi un été invincible.
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swordgirl.
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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by swordgirl. »

Morning!
Well the good news is that:
1. I’m still sober
2. I liked the counsellor and think she is a good fit for me

The bad news is that I have been awake until really late because the youngest (who is still at school) played the old switcheroo where they all pretended they were sleeping over at another friends house when in fact they were somewhere completely different. I really should have known to check up on them. They nearly got away with it but one of the other mums messaged me so I went haring round to the house in question at about 10.30pm! Could not sleep for the life of me when I got back. Teens!

I have to admit that I did think on the way back that I would normally deal with this by having a drink afterwards. It was quite stressful. But I don’t think I actively entertained the thought of having a drink, but the old (but very recent) pattern crossed my mind.

Oh, forgot to add didn’t do my shopping yesterday so got to get that done today.

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Trojan »

That is good news, Swordie. Finding a counsellor you can work with is a real win ;)?

The old associations take time to fade, so it's no surprise that those thoughts came along last night. The fact of having sober time under your belt opens your mind to other healthier ways of dealing with situations, and you can be happy today with how you were able to respond :-)
Au milieu de l'hiver, j'apprenais enfin qu'il y avait en moi un été invincible.
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Jake.
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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Jake. »

How you doing swordie? I’m glad the counselling was useful

Thinking of you VM

X

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by swordgirl. »

Jake. wrote:
24 Dec 2021 06:57
Thinking of you VM
Likewise VM, hope you’re ok

Nothing much to report here, still sober, have treated myself to a posh ginger ale tonight. I have decided to just take it easy and not stress about Christmas, whatever will be will be. So long as I can maintain my sobriety it’s all ok.

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by swordgirl. »

Hi Peeps
Hope everyone is ok and had a nice Christmas Day? Hi to VM, Jake, Mudbucker and anyone else looking in.

I’m not sure where to post this but I’m glad to report I’m still sober and I didn’t drink yesterday. I was offered a drink several times but it wasn’t too hard to decline. I could not have even dreamed of this being a possibility a couple of months ago. I just have to keep it going now. Just have to sort out the rest of my life now!

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Trojan »

Swordie, that's brilliant - I hope you're feeling the benefits :)
Au milieu de l'hiver, j'apprenais enfin qu'il y avait en moi un été invincible.
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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Jake. »

Good morning all.

Hey swordie. Yes i had a lovely Christmas day thank you. Mum had some wine, a little, and dad had some brandy. I stayed sober and had fun. I wasn’t a drunk mess. I had a major wobble yesterday and nearly bought whiskey. I even went in the shop, but I bought energy drink. I am glad now i stayed sober.

I am glad you stayed sober swordie well done! What do you have planned for today? I am having a quiet day today. Going to my partners parents Wednesday so i have that to look forward to. I’m just sipping my coffee.

Have a great day all xx

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Mudbucker »

I'm still here, still not drinking! Well done everyone for making it through Christmas.

Really struggling with everything, really. I have so many backed up issues I haven't dealt with or even been able to recognise completely, potential physical issues I'm just on the waiting list for appointments for, I really struggle to spend time with my family, so without booze I've spent Christmas practically mute, barely making eye contact. My emotional and physical unavailability is bothering my wife now, as at least there were times of openness when I drank. Now there is no respite, for her or me. I'm a near catatonic nothing-man, a hollow core at the centre of a fog of ill-defined fears and frustrations.
As the cold, wet days of the new year approach I need to look to fill my work diary as best I can in the face of reticence and potential cancellations due to the virus, and without my MO to get plenty of local work-a-day shows, which was essentially to perform pub-crawls, coming away with bookings. It will of course be possible AF, but requires leaping straight back into the jaws of old habits and temptation, multiple times a day.
The news has never been a strong source of positivity, but throw in authoritarian changes to civil law, the piecemeal sale of the NHS, and the endless bickering about the climate and its attendant batshit predictions about the impending fall of civilisation, and it's hard to find much positivity, especially when I appear near incapable of a pleasure-response to any stimuli.
As much as everyone would say it is a positive that I stop drinking, they are all now going to have to get to know what is there when I'm not drunk or hungover; fractured, avoidant, lacking any warm emotion.
An acquaintance recently complained of the internet that he was sick of having to prove he wasn't a robot. I joked that I was sick of having to pretend I wasn't a robot. It works as a throwaway word play/concept reversal joke, but also speaks a volume of truth.
The regret after drinking is worse than the desire before.

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by swordgirl. »

Hi Everyone
Jake - I’m glad your Christmas was nice :) Well done on swerving the whiskey! That sounded like a close shave! I hope you are proud of your strength in not buying it. I probably would have been a goner if I had got to the shop. Im proud of you mate ;)?

Trojan - <:)> ;)?

Mudbucker - I am sorry you are feeling so grim. I haven’t got any answers or solutions. It’s hard to have to face up to certain things without the booze there as a cloak or a buffer. And other things like inequalities, climate change, bigotry, politics and corruption are simply overwhelming at times. I’m just ignoring everything in the few weird days that we get between Christmas and New Years however you don’t have that luxury with your work. Please try and look after yourself and make sure you do one nice thing that is just for you?

I still haven’t had a drink which I’m grateful for. I haven’t done anything productive at all for the last day and a half though so I really need to get a grip and stop being so lazy. Before I used to get pi$$ed and do nothing, right now I’m sober and doing nothing, not much difference really :roll: unless I make better use of my time :oops:

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Londoner »

Mudbucker wrote:
27 Dec 2021 13:29
I'm still here, still not drinking! Well done everyone for making it through Christmas.

Really struggling with everything, really. I have so many backed up issues I haven't dealt with or even been able to recognise completely, potential physical issues I'm just on the waiting list for appointments for, I really struggle to spend time with my family, so without booze I've spent Christmas practically mute, barely making eye contact. My emotional and physical unavailability is bothering my wife now, as at least there were times of openness when I drank. Now there is no respite, for her or me. I'm a near catatonic nothing-man, a hollow core at the centre of a fog of ill-defined fears and frustrations.
As the cold, wet days of the new year approach I need to look to fill my work diary as best I can in the face of reticence and potential cancellations due to the virus, and without my MO to get plenty of local work-a-day shows, which was essentially to perform pub-crawls, coming away with bookings. It will of course be possible AF, but requires leaping straight back into the jaws of old habits and temptation, multiple times a day.
The news has never been a strong source of positivity, but throw in authoritarian changes to civil law, the piecemeal sale of the NHS, and the endless bickering about the climate and its attendant batshit predictions about the impending fall of civilisation, and it's hard to find much positivity, especially when I appear near incapable of a pleasure-response to any stimuli.
As much as everyone would say it is a positive that I stop drinking, they are all now going to have to get to know what is there when I'm not drunk or hungover; fractured, avoidant, lacking any warm emotion.
An acquaintance recently complained of the internet that he was sick of having to prove he wasn't a robot. I joked that I was sick of having to pretend I wasn't a robot. It works as a throwaway word play/concept reversal joke, but also speaks a volume of truth.
Mudbucker, you are certainly not alone. A lot of the feelings and things you describe about yourself in your post I resonate strongly with. Particularly feeling inadequate and devoid of emotion. I too completely shut off when sober. I am naturally quiet, a "man of view words" and emotionally distant to those closest to me. Like you, I tend to open up and relax under the influence of alcohol and 'relax' whereas I'm well aware that I have a cold, emotionally distant and grumpy facade in my more natural AF state.

I guess people like us who have used alcohol as a crutch and social lubricant for many years need to work on our underlying issues and take heed of the reassuring words of others who have been AF for longer, who say that things do genuinely and generally get better over time.

Good luck Mudbucker and feel free to send me a private message if you ever want to talk away from the main forum with a kindred spirit early on the AF journey.
Not given up on giving up.

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by swordgirl. »

Morning Everyone
Hope you’re all ok? Hoping you are lurking VM? If you are then sending you best wishes and hope to see you again when you’re ready

Jake - I expect you’ve had your coffee by now, hope it was nice!

👋🏼 To Londoner and Mudbucker

Just a quick check in from me, still here, still sober. I clocked up Day 42 yesterday which means I’ve had 6 weeks of sobriety \:)/

Edited due to autocorrect!
Last edited by swordgirl. on 28 Dec 2021 13:08, edited 1 time in total.

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Jake.
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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Jake. »

Good morning

Well done on your 42 days swordie that’s great! Yes, i’ve had my coffee thanks x

Hey londoner

Hey VM, if you’re looking in.

I hope you are feeling better today, mudbucker.

Just a brief check in from me. 1 month, 25 days from me.

Have a lovely day all x

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Mudbucker »

I'm still holding on!
Went for a walk with my wife yesterday and narrowly avoided pubs and off licences. I no doubt feel better for that, but still feel like crap.
Tonight and Thursdays' gigs were cancelled, but I still have tomorrow and NYE- it may well be 'permission thoughts', but I've half a mind to just ease up for a couple of days- release some pressure, and quite possibly remind myself why I'm stopping!
Certainly, from the beginning of the new year it's going to be a huge amount of effort recording and releasing an album, and filling the diary as best we can with all the uncertainty in the events world at the moment.
The regret after drinking is worse than the desire before.

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Re: The Two and Three Month Challenge

Post by Mudbucker »

52 days since deciding to stop, 35 since my last drink of any sort, by the way. 5 since my last shower- I usually feel a little better after washing, but seem so reticent to do so. At least I hate to go to work without a wash and clean clothes.
The regret after drinking is worse than the desire before.

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