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Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

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Cowboy
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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by Cowboy » 03 Jan 2019 13:56

Sammie wrote:
26 Dec 2018 14:28
We are away for 2 nights with friends for the new year, going to a cottage in the countryside, they’re not big drinkers and never seemed bothered whether I drink or not (the kind of friends you really value when going sober) so I’m taking my nosecco and chocolates to get through the night
Hi Sammie. Hope the 2 nights with the nosecco (not sure what that is) and chocolates got you through the night. My young adult son had all of his various friends and acquaintances over for a New Years party - 15 of them. Lots of drinking as you would expect out of a young crowd like this. It was unusually difficult for me but I had my Heineken AF beer and dusted off 6 of them throughout the night. It was well worth the effort. Woke up on New Years day and felt wonderful. It's liberating not to be drinking.

And so now the party is over and the festive season is behind us and this rough and tumble cowboy is still standing. How's that for a visual? Onwards and upwards for 2019. Like you say let's rock it.

Cowboy.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by Loulou66 » 13 Feb 2019 08:46

:\: hi all

Not sure how this works but my last drink was Sunday. Week days are not a problem to me at all. I want to grt through this weekend without drinking and looking forward to having no hangover. Wish me luck !!
Loulou.

Ps ... any tips for the weekend welcome. Ill need it as Friday will be the toughest i reckon. Xx

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SoberBoots
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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by SoberBoots » 13 Feb 2019 17:04

Loulou66 wrote:
13 Feb 2019 08:46
:\: hi all

Not sure how this works but my last drink was Sunday. Week days are not a problem to me at all. I want to grt through this weekend without drinking and looking forward to having no hangover. Wish me luck !!
Loulou.

Ps ... any tips for the weekend welcome. Ill need it as Friday will be the toughest i reckon. Xx
Plan ahead would be my tip. I went on my first sober holiday last year and was a bit nervy about it. But I'd thought through, and actually visualised, my sober days - going for coffee in the morning instead of having a hair of the dog, walking all day instead of having a boozy lunch, eating meals with a bottle of water not wine, reading or watching films in the evening and being able to enjoy and remember it instead of going through another bottle of wine. It really helped to have a sort of mental map of how it was going to be. My other tip would be to enjoy it - not drinking is a freedom not a penance, so make a list of things you couldn't do, wouldn't enjoy as much, or would be less motivated to do if you were drinking, and have fun doing them. I still sometimes (I know this is a bit sad) do a supermarket run in the evening, just because it's still a thrill not to be too drunk to drive!
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by Cowboy » 14 Feb 2019 11:57

Loulou. Visualize a Saturday morning with no hangover. A day off all to yourself and you wake up feeling refreshed and with an appetite rather than a stinking hangover. Works for me every time.

Nobody ever wakes up the morning after a night of not drinking and says to themselves geez I wish I had of gotten drunk last night so that I could feel absolutely shitty today.

Trust me, trust us ... give it a shot. I guarantee you won't regret it.

Cowboy.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain.

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by Loulou66 » 14 Feb 2019 13:56

Cowboy. Thanks for the advice! Ive been doing this a little bit what you say has just reinforced i need to do more. I have also made a rough plan all all the things id like to do this weekend, hangover free!!! At the mo i must say im feeling immensely positive and looking forward to the Saturday morning and AF future. Being on here is a huge support. I read other people's stuff and it could be me x thanks again loulou66

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by Loulou66 » 14 Feb 2019 14:03

SoberBoots. All that you have suggested makes complete sense to me. So ive been visualising, making lists, read various books about going Af.rather than going into battle i feel hugely optimistic. .... but well armed! X thankyou and I'll keep u posted. 😃

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by Bluebottle » 16 Feb 2019 03:23

Hope you got through Friday ok loulou, you can do it. (::)

Ruby XX
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)
307/59 days - 2019/2020

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by Loulou66 » 16 Feb 2019 17:00

Hi Ruby ... i did it!!! ... now after a thoroughly superb hangover free Saturday i just have to stay stron tonight. At the moment ifeel fine about it with no desire to drink. I drank tonic water and ice/lemon last night. Onwards and hopefully upwards. Hope all is well 👍👍

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by Bluebottle » 16 Feb 2019 17:14

Congratulations loulou, \:)/ \:)/ \:)/

I'm doing fine.

Ruby XX
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)
307/59 days - 2019/2020

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by SoberBoots » 16 Feb 2019 18:58

Loulou66 wrote:
16 Feb 2019 17:00
Hi Ruby ... i did it!!! ... now after a thoroughly superb hangover free Saturday i just have to stay stron tonight. At the moment ifeel fine about it with no desire to drink. I drank tonic water and ice/lemon last night. Onwards and hopefully upwards. Hope all is well 👍👍
Nice going Lou! Once you start to see the benefits of being sober, it gets so much easier.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by Loulou66 » 16 Feb 2019 20:32

\:)/ thankyou xxxx all good tonight too. Xx

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by Avocado » 05 Apr 2019 22:13

Hi guys,
I’m wishing to cut down and completely stop drinking but I’m in a pretty hopeless place right now I’m going through some marriage problems and feel completely dependant om drinking and I have done for quite some time.
Anyway my husband and I are on a break and I’m responsible for driving me and my kids to a family event an hour away, it’s not a boozy party or anything like that but it’s been a long time since I’ve done anything remotely sociable without a lot of alcohol inside me. There’s no option for me to opt out plus I’m really looking forward to going. So can anyone give me some advice to get through this without drinking? I think it’s best if I don’t even have a small one as then I’ll get the taste and that’s just not an option. Thanks in advance xx

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by Mark. » 05 Apr 2019 22:27

Hi Avacado - I'm sorry about the situation you're in. If you're unable to simply to tell your family that you don't want to drink, then, as much as I hate fibbing under normal circumstances, I wouldn't be above telling them you're on antibiotics/medication at the moment if you want to avoid drinking. If you are able to tell the fib (would this mean lying to your husband too?), this usually works fairly well. If you can tell the fib as soon as you get there, i) most people will be too polite to ask what you're taking the meds for, and ii) once you've told people you can't drink, you simply can't go back on your word and drink in front of them - problem solved ;)?

There are many other alternative fibs - that you're doing a dry month to lose weight or whatever. There are lots of excuses that can be made. To use them feels hard before you use them. But, in my experience, once you've used them most people understand and quickly move on to other things - chiefly, their own drinking ;) They accept that you're staying sober, and move on...

I'm sure others here will chip with even better ideas than mine, and I really hope that you have a good time at the family event and that all goes well, particularly between you and your husband ;)? <:)>
Nie chwal dnia przed zachodem słońca.

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by Avocado » 05 Apr 2019 22:59

Thank you so much jjj

But what I mean is I’m looking for a way to try and enjoy the occasion itself rather that just wishing away the time until I can go home and drink. It’s a daytime event but lately my thoughts seem to revolve around drink only so need to distract myself somehow. :?

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by Avocado » 05 Apr 2019 23:01

I just reread my original post I wasn’t very clear sorry xx
Last edited by Avocado on 05 Apr 2019 23:30, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by SoberBoots » 05 Apr 2019 23:14

I think you're right to not drink at all, it's likely to be easier. Expect it to feel a bit strange - it usually does, when you first experience things sober when you're habitually drunk for them. I'd take non alcoholic drinks you like unless you're sure that there'll be suitable choices available. I can feel awkward at social events sometimes and find that having something to do helps - circulate with food, clear plates, entertain children, wash up.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Avocado
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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by Avocado » 06 Apr 2019 09:06

Thank you sober boots they are some great suggestions I will give that a try keeping busy and helping out with things. Xx

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by Mark. » 06 Apr 2019 09:46

Avocado wrote:
05 Apr 2019 23:01
I just reread my original post I wasn’t very clear sorry xx
No, the misunderstanding was mine, Avacado! I'm glad SB was able to suggest a few ideas and I hope the event goes well ;)? <:)>
Nie chwal dnia przed zachodem słońca.

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by SoberBoots » 06 Apr 2019 09:50

Another thought, if it's a family do, is to put some real effort into reconnecting with people. Addiction is much more isolating than we realise, when we're in it... Are they going to be people there you haven't seen for a while? Very old or ill people? People you don't know all that well? Have a think about them and make it a mission to spend some time with them and really talk about how their lives are. We get very self-absorbed when drinking, and this is a useful exercise in focusing on others.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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Re: Special Occasion/Weekend Challenges

Post by Spats » 30 Dec 2019 09:51

Special event coming up folks .... let’s welcome 2020 and remember 31/12/2019 (::)

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