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The Nine Month Challenge

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Sheila
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The Nine Month Challenge

Post by Sheila » 25 Mar 2011 18:03

A new challenge to bridge the gap between 6 and 12 months ;)?
#4 on the 2020 Challenge
I will not drink again no matter what.

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Ladybird
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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by Ladybird » 25 Mar 2011 19:43

cooool.... \:)/
AF2011/24

Lel
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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by Lel » 26 Mar 2011 07:15

This is fab - thanks for doing this!!

I look forward to being here in three months time :)

Lel xx
"If you encounter a problem along your way...change your direction, not your destination."

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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by silvergirl » 05 Apr 2011 09:18

i could be on this challenge but every time i read its title it makes me think of pregnancy and although i like babies, a lot, i'm not *quite* sure now is the time for me to be having another... :lol: :o :shock:

but hey, never say never right?! :mrgreen:

bored sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

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emma
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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by emma » 09 Apr 2011 11:02

hehe made me laugh too hehe!!

9 months sober,...... wow what am amazing acheivement!!! I so want to acheive that one day ....
AF 2011 No. 55

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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by emma » 09 Apr 2011 11:04

how ya doing brighteye???

It's such a lovley day isnt it and I'm stuck at work, but I'm off tomorrow so I hope it's nice again....
AF 2011 No. 55

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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by silvergirl » 09 Apr 2011 11:31

i predict it shall emma, just for you! :D

i'd say yesterday was teh best day of the year so far for my bit o bonnie scotland, but its shaping up to be quite gorgeous again, so i'm off out to, er, well not quite sure what i'll be up to, but out an about is where it's happening.

no babies yet.. but some school easter holidays so a few lie ins next week. :D

sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
~jon kabat-zinn

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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by emma » 09 Apr 2011 12:21

Enjoy your day in the sun silvergirl!!!!

No babies yet.... lol
AF 2011 No. 55

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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by emma » 09 Apr 2011 12:42

Have a good day too BE

I'm trying very hard to look forward.......

It can only get better can't it x
AF 2011 No. 55

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marie-claire
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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by marie-claire » 25 Apr 2011 07:02

Michelle, waves of positivity coming from you. I'll be here with you for a few days until you head on to the final challenge thread. Well done! It's so very encouraging to see people sailing on through like you are.

I've been wondering if it's time to leave BE and go it alone but something tells me I still need you all to keep me on track and focused. And give something back, of course. I owe BE bigtime. So I'll probably stick around for a while and keep learning the sobriety trade.

Hi to Rebecca and SG - wishing you all a perfect Bank Holiday Monday.

MCx
Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls.
The most massive characters are seared with scars.
--Khalil Gibran

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Sheila
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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by Sheila » 29 Apr 2011 14:11

Congratulations Michelle on reaching 9 months .... Fantastic \:)/ (::) \:)/ (::) \:)/
#4 on the 2020 Challenge
I will not drink again no matter what.

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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by George » 29 Apr 2011 19:41

Hey, well done Michelle, big round of well-deserved applause

(::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)
“Now I’m sober and I realize, I didn’t drink to escape the world, I drank to escape myself”
― Phil Volatile, Crushed Black Velvet

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marie-claire
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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by marie-claire » 01 May 2011 11:42

Well I may be on the 9-month thread but I'm obviously still not entirely comfortable yet around alcohol socially. Had two friends round for a meal last night - not big drinkers; between OH and them they drank a modest 1 1/3 bottles of red and white (2 or 3 glasses wouldn't have been nearly enough for me, of course, that's the important bit). Perhaps I don't socialise enough 'cause I feel I should be past the stage of it bothering me by now. After replies to my post on the 6-month thread where I wrote about my intolerance of others' drinking, I decided if I carried on like that I'd end up with no friends. So I must just keep reminding myself that they have an off switch but I don't - so chill! The evening went fine, but it obviously still bugs me and I'd like to be past that. Roll on 12 months!

It's interesting to observe because clearly lots of people CAN'T resist the offer of a drink. However, they CAN STOP. I'm here because I know I never have been able to - since way back at the dawn of time. It's just not easy to admit to myself that I am defective. The truth is painful but it's still the truth. It took me so long to find that truth, but once you know, you can't unknow it. I've said before that the day I joined BE was the day I accepted I could never drink again. So it's all a question of adapting and adjusting and settling in to a better, new life.

One thing I'll say for my friends is that they've been great - never quizzed me about my reasons for stopping, just been quietly supportive. And my OH has been bloomin' fantastic. Yeah, six months...maybe it's just today, but you know when you've split up with your ex but you keep bumping into him everywhere? You just want him to disappear but there's no chance 'cause all your friends still socialise with him. And seeing him chatting and laughing with them hurts even though you feel you should be over him by now... well, it's like that. You're moving on with your life but the swine keeps turning up everywhere you go.

Anyway, next weekend I'll be away at a conference I co-organise and it will be just wonderful not to start it with a massive hangover. And I won't look so much like the monster from outer space either. That really helps :) .

Zoe, Rebecca, SG, Aaron strength and happiness to you all <:)>
MC x
Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls.
The most massive characters are seared with scars.
--Khalil Gibran

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hamster2
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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by hamster2 » 05 May 2011 06:42

Wow Michelle 9 months \:)/ \:)/ \:)/ You star!!

Ok - I am here and promise to log in much much more regularly :oops: .

Looking forward to riding along with you all for the next 3 months.
Have to rush to work now but will post later.
Julie
x

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hamster2
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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by hamster2 » 06 May 2011 06:35

Hi Becks <:)> thanks for the welcome.

I freely accept I am an alcoholic (for so long I would not use that to lable myself) but I also dont go with the 'powerless over alcohol' thing. We are in charge of our own choices and we deserve to acknowledge the power within us that has got us this far.

Marie-clair - Totally relate to your post. While on holiday recently, although comfortable not drinking, I watched all the other drinkers, monitored their input and was someone wistful and envious. Most evenings I was pleasently distracted by the company I was in (non drinkers) but was very consious of my eyes resting on the tables of others, thier wine, vodka, glasses, glasses to lips. I also recognised I really must have a problem if I am consious of others intake - If I didnt have a problem I wouldnt notice or care unless faced with an absulute drunk I guess.

I remember talking to someone recently that was 10 years sober. It reminded me what a baby I was in recovery and how far there is to go - not just about not drinking but about being totally comfortable in any given situation without a drink. I am told that as an alcoholic that can never be a gaurenteed place to be. That my addiction will always grumble away on some level. I am not looking to far ahead but I am setting myself goals. My long term goal is to reach the 1 year mark - short term is to reach 9 months. Thats my general goals but other than that I try to keep it in the day. I will re-set goals again at 12 months.

Some days are hard as hell and other days are a breeze and Im sure its the same for most of us now.


But the overriding fact of the matter for me is that I have never felt better for a long long time. Mentally and physically I am in a whole different place and wouldnt want to swap that. It feels very fragile at times.

Julie
xx

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marie-claire
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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by marie-claire » 06 May 2011 23:05

Julie, lovely to see you on here! <:)> You are right of course - you too Jos - 6 months is nothing next to 41 years of knocking the stuff back. It feels like a different universe, but it's not really solid yet at all. It does feel so fragile at times as you say. I'm away at a conference and had a meal tonight with the organisers and speakers. The thought came to me unexpectedly as I was going down to dinner that I could probably just have the one glass. It was like I'd forgotten everything - the pain and the misery of this addiction. In that moment it wasn't that I thought I was "cured" - I think I thought maybe I'd over-stated the whole thing. That's addiction for you. Of course I drank sparkling water. Someone else had one glass of wine (which she does every day!) and then joined me. We left the rest to it and they'll be merrily supping away in the bar until heaven knows what time.

Tell me why is it acceptable to say that you were up until 3am getting hammered last night, but unacceptable to say you've given up the drink? It's just that I refuse to apologise for not drinking, so if people comment on it, I'll say why (though without mentioning the "a" word of course). I'm probably turning into one of those people I used to hate. Relax!

Sorry, these occasions put me on edge but not drinking here is a whole new amazing experience. Never thought I'd see the day but so glad I did. Thanks so much to everyone on here for your mature and insightful support. <:)> Don't know what I'd do without you (well I do actually - begins with d ends in k)

MC x
Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls.
The most massive characters are seared with scars.
--Khalil Gibran

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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by hamster2 » 07 May 2011 08:07

Hey there Zoe, MC, Becks <:)>
marie-claire wrote: it wasn't that I thought I was "cured" - I think I thought maybe I'd over-stated the whole thing. That's addiction for you.
Sure is! So proudof you MC for getting through that dinner intact. As you know I used to go to AA. I dont now, was never a very good AAer but still very much respect the orgonisation and those who find sobriety there. It helped me get my head inthe right place to get back on the wagon. While I could never get the 'higher power' there were things I find helpful and use.

1.Gratitudes - every day I think of at least two things to be grateful for - thats been helping me gradually adopt a more positive attitude to my life. Naturally a hugely negative person I am gradually appreciating what I have more rather than focusing on what I dont have. I dont feel sorry for myself half as much.

The other thing I use is step 1.
1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable

Now I already said I dont believe I am powerless. But when I drink then I do become pretty powerless over alcohol. When my sponser took me through this step my homework was to write down a list of the things I had done drunk or embarrasing stuff and stuff I felt ashamed off and how my life was. She told me to keep the list and read it at least once a month (I didnt - as I said not a good AAer).
Anyway - this is the second thing I took away from AA which I find useful - when ever I get the 'was I really that bad?' ' maybe I wasnt that bad' moments then I do look at that origional list. Its sobering - literally. God but its so easy and convenient to forget.


I am off to a wedding in August - heavy drinking family wedding. Im not worried I will drink but much more concerned about the comments from others when I dont drink. Especially from my niece who is getting married - she has already said 'oh auntie Julie you will have at least one glass of champers to toast me?'. no actually, I wont.

Going to be a good warm day today. Hope you all enjoy. <:)>

Julie
x

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hamster2
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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by hamster2 » 07 May 2011 08:08

Oh and training days - mmmmmm one particular one which was four days in hotel is on my list :oops: :oops:

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marie-claire
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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by marie-claire » 07 May 2011 22:18

Julie, I think your Gratitudes exercise is a great idea. I did something similar for a while - every morning in the shower I thought of five positive things from the day before. Sometimes they were very basic things like I hoovered the hall or changed the sheets :) but I definitely felt better afterwards. Yes, me and professional courses have an embarrassing history too. I did your list thing in my head a couple of weeks ago as a motivational exercise - got to 20 without even trying. Some of these go back over 30 years but they are burned indelibly into my brain. It's true that when we drink we are powerless to stop. When we don't drink we have the choice to abstain or to drink. But when we drink that choice is taken away - we're like a runaway train with a faulty brake. Not nice is it, that out-of control panic feeling? Don't you worry about that wedding. Your niece will probably have more on her mind on the big day than whether aunt Julie's actually got alcohol in her toasting glass.

Zoe, I know what you mean about being out of the in-crowd loop. The irony is that before I would have been conscious of how little they all drank (compared to moi) whereas now it's how much! I was always worrying would I have enough (the bottle bought at the local Tesco metro and stashed away in the hotel wardrobe "just in case" (ha ha) was always a big comfort). It would seem there's no pleasing some people ie me. Anyway, tonight I passed on the dinner trip to the local distillery (!!) and went for a quick AF meal with a colleague, left her to her glass of wine in the bar and am now going to bed. I will be sparkling and alert for our 8.30 am start tomorrow. All the courses I've attended through the years with horrendous hangovers - OMG.

That's quite enough of that. Back to safety of my home and OH tomorrow night. I'm really not sure I'd manage to sustain this without that stability and his restraining presence. Hopefully I won't have to find out for a very long time. I really don't know how people manage to get through demanding social events AF in the early weeks of sobriety. I still plan everything ahead with great care. Guess you guys do too - maybe that's why we've got this far. (::)

MC x
Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls.
The most massive characters are seared with scars.
--Khalil Gibran

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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Post by hamster2 » 08 May 2011 06:13

I agree MC - planning ahead, getting my head in the 'right place' before the event is crutial. I dont have many social events and also see my home as an AF santuary.

Been feeling a bit out of sorts lately - in a positive way but given its not my nature to be so, its 'wierd'.

I decided to loose weight and get down to my ideal weight which I am now not far away from. Also I am starting to prepare my head to stop smoking. I bought some duty free's and am telling myself that once they are finished I will buy no more.

Normally, for months, years I have had similar thoughts - I should loose weight, I should stop smoking. But ultimately I dont do anything about it. Now I am loosing weight and planning to quit the smoke and feeling very very odd because its not me and also rather scared for some reason I cant fathom.

Julie
x

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