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Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 23 Sep 2020 16:47
by moo
Hey thanks Wilson ;)?

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 02 Oct 2020 20:56
by moo
I'm on day 272.. Nearly 9 months. Gonna join the year thread on Monday. Feeling strong with the AF thing despite a lot of problems this year and a serious car accident.

Xxx

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 02 Oct 2020 23:21
by Jj123
Well done moo. Inspirational.
How are you doing now after your accident do you still have a lot of pain.
Congratulations on your graduation to the 1 year thread.
JJ

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 03 Oct 2020 09:11
by martha
moo wrote:
02 Oct 2020 20:56
I'm on day 272.. Nearly 9 months. Gonna join the year thread on Monday. Feeling strong with the AF thing despite a lot of problems this year and a serious car accident.

Xxx
Well done, moo! \:)/

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 03 Oct 2020 23:39
by moo
Thanks Jj and Martha. I am slowly getting better.. Still off work and a bit fed up but will be OK!

Hope you are both keeping well... Have a lovely Sunday x

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 14 Mar 2021 12:52
by Rose13
Hello any 9 monthers that might be posting :\:
Approaching 7 months AF

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 14 Mar 2021 14:19
by Trina
Hi Rose, I'm here! I haven't posted in a while, but just checked my app and I'm at 6 months and 5 days. So I guess I'll move over here. I'm mixed about doing that as I've had a couple of slips recently - small ones, but hey, drinking is drinking, right? Then I feel bad/guilty/as though I don't belong on whatever challenge I'm doing and I stay away. But I know I need to be here, plugging away. So despite my glass of wine last week, I'm going to hold my head up and get on this challenge.

Where I'm at these days is having to talk myself out of drinking every day, and for the most part I am successful. But I've lost that excitement about being AF that I had in the early days. Has that happened to you? Or anyone else who may be reading this? How do you get that magic back?

Ok, I'll stop whining! I am glad to be here, and will try to post more regularly. Hi to smithster, action, cowboy! Hope to see you here soon

Trina

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 17 Mar 2021 21:59
by Action
Hi folks!

Just popping in to say hi. I’m graduating from the 6 month challenge on Monday so make room.
Looking forward to catching up with you all. :\:

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 19 Mar 2021 09:20
by Rose13
Hey Action, Trina :\:
This is my third attempt to post! My posts keep disappearing.
Well done guys \:)/

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 19 Mar 2021 09:24
by Rose13
Trina
I am the same . I’ve had 2 blips but don’t feel it would be helpful to go back to day 1 either. I also feel guilt and didn’t post but I feel if it’s just a couple of drinks then do what’s best for you. I understand about the excitement of not drinking! And being ()o ive got used to it but I’m worried about when the pubs reopen and everything wants to sit outside and get bladdered :shock: I will have to hide away I think

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 19 Mar 2021 10:01
by Action
Don’t hide away Rose...start with a small challenge when the time comes. Build up your social sober muscles 💪.
Own it, be proud of your sobriety - it is nothing to be ashamed of. The novelty will quickly wear off for people and then they can focus on something else. You’re not missing out - your gaining so much. It’s simply a lifestyle choice. You could tell people to try it, they might like it. ;)?

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 19 Mar 2021 22:23
by Rose13
Hey Action I know what you mean I’m hiding now lol!
OH opened 2nd bottle of wine and thought I’d rather be by myself.
It’s more I get that I get really bored sitting doing nothing for hours on end whilst people get drunk and to be honest it’s not just drinking alcohol I’m not the kind of person to sit in a coffee shop all day either. It’s just not me I prefer to be doing something like sport or shopping, lunch etc . I’m ok with an hour or so ... might just be me. I just keep seeing things on social media about ‘when we are let out’ and how drunk everyone is going to get. I’m also not comfortable in groups, I get very nervous and anxious. My OH always makes fun of me of things I say because he thinks he’s much cleverer than me so I’m very self conscious about how I come across so I guess I feel more comfortable in doing things I’m better at like sport and making friends that way although it does make it harder to meet people I guess. I did think I would gain confidence not drinking but unfortunately that hasn’t happened but I’m still glad and proud to be AF ;)?

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 20 Mar 2021 04:08
by Trina
Hi. Just checking in - not totally sure I should be here as I've had a few blips recently. But I just can't bring myself to go back to day 1 or the 100 day challenge. So I guess I'll just hang in here and do the best I can.

I think my problem, in addition to boredom, is that I am starting to go out and see people, as I and most of my friends have had the vaccine. Somehow going out to a restaurant seems like such a daring and naughty thing to do! Might as well have a glass of wine! My intention is to back off a little bit on the socializing - and at least I have not gone back to drinking by myself at home, so I haven't lost all the progress that I made.

Action and Smithster, is it your 6 months yet? Any day now, right?

Hope you're all having a good weekend, I hope it's OK with everyone if I stay here!

Trina

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 20 Mar 2021 10:03
by Smithster
Trina wrote:
20 Mar 2021 04:08
Action and Smithster, is it your 6 months yet? Any day now, right?
Hi All

Yes, quit six months ago today (20/9). So today, tomorrow, which ever way I look at it, it's this weekend :)

Not thinking about drinking a great deal at the moment as I have switched my focus back to cycling again and the positive things in life, so it helps.

Just messaged one of my old freinds who was one of my greatest drinking pals to let her know, and she is supportive that when we next meet it will be for coffee only. (I think secretly she would quit, and so would her husband, but thier life revolves around booze).

She was one of my catalysts and when we ever met up, is would always end as a bender. Meeting again will be my first test, as we could make any meeting into a bender (Yes we would meet for breakfast and be on Tequilla slammers by lunch, then be home in the garden by 2pm buying bottles of tequilla so we could drink quicker and passing out by 5-6pm and stating again around 10pm until the early hours!). The anxiety of those sessions was immense, and ones I have to remind myself of, so I never drink again. I also think it was those final sessions from 2018 through to 2020 in my late 40's that really took it's toll on my health , both physically and mentally, more mentally to be fair.

Things I have learnt from quitting again.

1. There is life after booze
2. Quitting booze isn't a magic cure or the promised land. You still have to work at life, but don't overthink it to much, everyone else suffers too, they just deal with it better, learn from those people but don't obsess.
3. Sometime you just have to say no to drink!
4. The brain takes longer than a few weeks to rewire itself, in fact I think the clarity only gets turned up every month or so, and certainly beyond 6 months.
5. Health doesn't return straight away. You have to work at it. It took years to screw your body up, so it will take time to get it back to some kind of normality (Measured my BP last night and it's took six months to go from 150/90 back to a normal 128/80. That also goes for mental health, but anxiety does dissapear quicker, and dark thoughts.
6. Hardline or white knuckle the cravings and the bad times at the begining, the rest will follow. Trying to work out why you drink before quitting will mean you never quit. As mentioned above quitting isnt the magic cure.
7. The pleasure of few drinks isn't worth the pain of regret. A famous Tour De France Winner once said about why he didn't miss a training session. 'Pain is temporary, regret lasts a life time'. Bit of a severe comparison, but it nails home the point.
8. See above - Quitting isn't the magic cure. You will put on weight before you loose it. I put 5kg on when I quit. Went up from 88kg to 93.5! Thankfully, with some effort I am now not only back down in weight, I am actually down to 85kg. (I aim for 76kg by the end of the year which would be my school weight, and another source of alternative focus)

Well that's my waffle, not everyone is the same, but I do think there is a similar flow in all of us.

WELL DONE TO MY QUITTING TWIN - ACTION

WELL DONE, WELL DONE. Look back at our early posts Action and see how the tone of our posts has changed. That is a revelation in itself to see how far we have come in ourselves.

Well done to everyone else for making it here too (::)

Stay safe everone. Have a great weekend.

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 20 Mar 2021 11:20
by Angelîca
Congratulations Smithster and thanks for the really helpful post. Great learning points. Congratulations to Action too. What an achievement. I’m only on day 51 (or 52ish) so a way to go, but feeling good.
Angelica x

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 20 Mar 2021 12:23
by Smithster
Angelîca wrote:
20 Mar 2021 11:20
Congratulations Smithster and thanks for the really helpful post. Great learning points. Congratulations to Action too. What an achievement. I’m only on day 51 (or 52ish) so a way to go, but feeling good.
Angelica x
Well done Angelica. Day 51 is smashing it. (::)

It's great to get that first month out of the way.

I remember when I quit last time for a long period, I didn't look at the days I'd quit booze as numbers gained, but rather if i'd gone a month without booze coping with most situations, then I could continue into the next month? (Small steps into each new situation)

Then when I got to a year, it was in my head I had coped with nearly all situations without booze i.e. Christmas, Birthdays, Summer days, Weddings etc. So why would I ever need booze again? It helped me no end.

Saty safe, and keep going. ;)?

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 20 Mar 2021 14:00
by Trina
Congratulations Smithster and Action! And Smithster, I love your thoughts above. It is tempting to think that stopping drinking will fix everything, change your life, and turn you into a competent, brave, mentally healthy person. It certainly helps with that, but one thing I've learned is that even when we remove alcohol, we are who we are. At least I am. But not drinking can help us, I think, to see ourselves more clearly and show ourselves a bit more self love.

I was tempted, after my recent drinks, to quit the forum, or at least exile myself back to the 7 day thread. But I know for me this wouldn't work, so I will stay here with you, my lovely 9 month friends, and continue on. It is so easy for me to decide I have "ruined everything" by not staying totally sober, but when I look at it, I have made massive progress since last June, when I started on the AF road for real. I need to focus on that progress and not get bogged down with self blame.

Sorry this is all about me on your anniversary! I hope you both enjoy your day and do something really special to celebrate.

Trina

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 20 Mar 2021 19:02
by Smithster
Trina wrote:
20 Mar 2021 14:00
I was tempted, after my recent drinks, to quit the forum, or at least exile myself back to the 7 day thread.
Thanks Trina.

Staying is the absolutely right thing to do. I think its braver to admit a slip up, than to go back to day 1 or slink off all together!

You are probably not in the right frame of mind to go back to day 1 anyway, where it may be possible to just quit altogether as mentally the perception may be, 'its only day 1, so one more night of drinking and I'll stop again Monday'. God only knows how many of those I've had. Years of them probably!

Stick around, were accountable for this together!

Stay safe all.

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 21 Mar 2021 09:25
by Action
Morning All!

Congratulations Smithster ... we’ve only gone and reached six months! \:)/ (::) \:)/

Absolutely and completely can relate to your post. Sobriety isn’t a magical cure is it ... I was hoping for one with my health (that everything would suddenly be great) but I am sure if I could see a version of myself in the heavy grips of drinking and now I am so much better. It is a slow process. Congratulations on your weight loss as well (::), you are inspiring me to do something about mine. Perhaps this 6th month anniversary is a good place to really knuckle down with that.

I think that i definitely had to get past the first month or so to really understand that things start to really shift in a positive way. The benefits of not drinking start to shine though and they really help me to stay on track. I really, really want to continue to grow as a person, learn more about myself and the big wide world. I think that through drinking all these years I have stunted my emotional and intellectual growth but now I have a chance to pick up where I left off.

It is sad to think that a lot of things have possibly slipped through my fingers as a result BUT I am not to berate myself. I am an addict and addiction is a cruel thing. It was not my fault I became an addict although I have to take responsibility for my choices and decisions over the years. I will continue to learn to accept the past, be in the present and hopeful for the future.

Smithster, Trina, Rose 🌹 and Angelica <:)>

Re: The Nine Month Challenge

Posted: 21 Mar 2021 09:36
by Action
Smithster ... thinking about your buddy, who was the catalyst. How about arranging to meet her in a situation that does not involve any type of beverage. Just go for a walk, build your time up with her slowly then you will become accustomed to spending time with her without the associated drinking. Just an idea. <:)>

Rose,
I’m also not comfortable in groups, I get very nervous and anxious. My OH always makes fun of me of things I say because he thinks he’s much cleverer than me so I’m very self conscious about how I come across so I guess I feel more comfortable in doing things I’m better at like sport and making friends that way although it does make it harder to meet people I guess. I did think I would gain confidence not drinking but unfortunately that hasn’t happened but I’m still glad and proud to be AF
It is known that the majority of people are nervous and anxious about being in group situations, more so if they are unfamiliar with everyone or don’t connect with them. It is intimidating. Shame on your other half for being so unsupportive. It sounds as though your other half has insecurity issues is he feels the need to put you down like that. Continue to do the things you enjoy and you will meet people that way. Times are very difficult at the moment but you will have the opportunity to meet people and you will gain confidence. Remaining sober you will get to know yourself better and slowly but surely things will improve. As Smithster and I were saying, we both thought stopping drinking would be an overnight cure ... ha ha. Oh well. Your sobriety is so valuable and it demonstrates that you value yourself. Be proud of yourself. <:)>