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Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

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Mooths
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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Mooths » 23 Jun 2020 10:41

Hey, Trojan. Just popping in v briefly and happy to add my voice to the chorus of felicitations.

Saturday 20th was my birthday - spent sober and happy in the bosom of my family. I'll be marking 18 months sober at the end of this month. Not a patch on 7 years, mind!

Thought it worth recording here that I'm proud to have given up vaping 2.5 months ago. It was prompted by a nasty dose of The Virus, which landed me in bed for a fortnight, so I suppose that's one positive consequence of Covid-19. Ridiculously I only took up vaping at the end of 2018 - had not smoked cigarettes since 2005 - and rapidly became completely addicted. Quelle surprise.
“Being extremely honest with oneself is a good exercise.” ~ Sigmund Freud

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Trojan
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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Trojan » 23 Jun 2020 16:45

Thank you, Mooths :) I hope you're feeling fully recovered. Hats off for kicking the nicotine - no mean feat ;)?
Au milieu de l'hiver, j'apprenais enfin qu'il y avait en moi un été invincible.
#99 on the 2020 Challenge

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Trojan
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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Trojan » 23 Jun 2020 18:28

In normal times I usually go to a recovery group meeting once a week. There are now online meetings, but I haven’t tried those yet.

With so many activities and routines in limbo just now, I’m wondering if people are taking on any new pursuits or doing anything different to reinforce their sobriety :?:

I’ve been journalling every day, as well as posting a bit more on BE, and I’ve started reading a book called Atomic Habits - about the power of small habits to create change over time.

Hope all here are well, and I’d be interested to hear what new ideas peeps are taking on, or what old/rediscovered ideas have new value :-)
Au milieu de l'hiver, j'apprenais enfin qu'il y avait en moi un été invincible.
#99 on the 2020 Challenge

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Shadowlad
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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Shadowlad » 24 Jun 2020 00:14

Hi there fellow beyonders <:)>

Sorry to read you had the dreaded Covid-19 Mooths, i hope you are feeling a lot better now. A very well done to you on approaching 18 months of sobriety and for giving up nicotine :)
Trojan wrote:
23 Jun 2020 18:28
With so many activities and routines in limbo just now, I’m wondering if people are taking on any new pursuits or doing anything different to reinforce their sobriety :?:
Hiya Trojan. Its a tricky one isn't it. There are so many people missing the human connection of their recovery groups, be it alcohol recovery groups, mental health groups or 1-1 supports. Personally, i have not been doing anything specific to reinforce my sobriety. Your post has made me think that now is the time to redouble my efforts. I generally don't think of alcohol, but i think the longer we are sober, the more danger there is of becoming complacent....if we fade away from regular maintenance as i have done. I dare not 'rest on my laurels' as they say in AA.
Trojan wrote:
23 Jun 2020 18:28
I’ve been journalling every day, as well as posting a bit more on BE, and I’ve started reading a book called Atomic Habits - about the power of small habits to create change over time.
I was going to do some journalling tonight but decided to connect on BE instead. I'm useless at consistency with journalling, or any kind of diary. Since the pandemic began i have tried to develop a new routine in the way of productivity and distraction from these strange times. Projects in the garden and home, helping others, connecting on social media etc. The missing piece is loss of connection with members on here to keep my sober batteries fully charged. I have not read Atomic Habits, will look it up. Reading books is a huge challenge due to lack of concentration but i will look it up.

It would be good to be able to reinforce my sobriety from an educational stance. For me however the work has to be focused directly on emotional resilience, self care and self improvement. Sometimes i am tempted to return to spirituality, but the exploitation i have experienced from some religious people deters me from this idea. No offence intended, just my personal experience.

So today i am a bit wobbly due to a personal relationship that is throwing the mind and emotions into a spin. Drink crossed my mind briefly, to numb and zone out. Thank goodness for the solid sobriety training i received here on BE for many years. There is no denial lurking within, and i know the answers when feeling the need to numb and escape. It is self care and action to reinforce sobriety and charge those batteries.

Things that have helped maintain sobriety in recent times are :

Acceptance i cannot drink in safety, ever. Exercise, sensible eating alternated with treat days, garden and home improvements, talking honestly about alcoholic past with close friends, attempting assertiveness skills, gratitude, helping family, friends and neighbours and helping another recovering person, my son.

Thank you for being here and for this being a safe place to return. Currently eating a box of chocolates to pacify mood lol ;)?
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Dennis P. Kimbro

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Lush4life
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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Lush4life » 24 Jun 2020 07:03

Morning all, well I certainly haven’t taken on anything new since lockdown but rather gone back to my love of reading, my crochet taken a back seat doing in fits and starts, lockdown for me has been not so good ( long marriage break up going on) so many, many times I’ve been alone and yup at times feeling very sad/ desperate, without any routine or focus days/ nights seem to have no meaning or focus it’s felt rather like some sort of no mans land, my future uncertain tbh.
But luckily I’ve had no permission thoughts knowing full well ( like Nicky) that is an option I truly can never take, eyes wide open in that regard, long may that be the case.
But now things are easing a little it’s good I can connect with family most importantly my sister who sadly lost her husband just before lockdown, she then has had to endure this awful grief completely alone, and her bravery , attitude is inspiring, now we can connect again I can give her love/ support and bless her in return she gives me the same, our feeling of loss and grief are similar but of course for very different reasons.
Also just coming here to read does help even if I don’t post yes I agree it’s all too easy to slip/ slide away from those that are or have been facing the same problems as us, I’ve read a few posts where people who’ve had long term sobriety then take up the drink again, I think I’m right in saying eventually it’s led them back to a place they don’t want to be , I have massive admiration for those that then jump back on and manage to get sober again, I also have massive fear that would never be me, to get this far in my sobriety it has taken my all, my everything .
I remember quite clearly my youngest boy ( think he was about 13 at the time ) say ,mum you don’t laugh anymore? Makes jokes, he looked sad, bewildered :|
So it’s lovely , even though at times I can still feel down I still can find reasons to have fun with lovely friends, family that regularly make me smile giving me a swift kick up the backside if I’m wallowing too much. Because for a while I lost the ability to see the light in anything, my emotions were dead, completely.
Now sober I feel everything, the good, bad and the awful but it’s a very necessary process and in many ways it enhances my life, I feel the love, laughter and connections so much stronger and yes the the sad times too but we have to spend a little time in the dark to fully appreciate the light.
Blimey I hope that wasn’t all too depressing, again I didn’t intend to even post today :roll:
I wish everyone a happy/ healthy summer x
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
And rent is due Every day.

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Trojan
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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Trojan » 24 Jun 2020 08:49

Good morning, early and late birds :-)

I’m fortunate in being able to work from home, so my days are still fairly full. It brings its own stresses though, and I’m not expecting to return to the office this year :shock: There is also this rotten sense of being adrift from friends and family, but travel restrictions here will lift again next week, so that will open up some more options.

Nicky, I am - thankfully - in the same boat of having zero thoughts of alcohol. I’m in the sober game for the long haul, so I’ve always tried to introduce and reinforce supports before I need them. I’d like to keep this going - not because I’m worried about relapse, but because I could begin to take for granted the benefits of sober living. I think staying aware of those benefits and fully appreciating them is the best defence we have.

This far down the road, it’s not a case of any radical reinvention for me, but a trimming of the sails to make sure that I’m still facing the right way, with sober living as the guiding star :-)
With that in mind, next up for me is a little course called The Gentle Steer…

https://happyologist.co.uk/online-cours ... tle-steer/

Kim, you’ve been having a right old time of it <:)> I am honestly full of admiration for how you’re coping, and how you have stayed true to yourself through it all. It will do you a world of good to reconnect with your sister and your wider family, and you will certainly lift them up as well :-)

Thanks for posting, and take care everyone <:)>
Au milieu de l'hiver, j'apprenais enfin qu'il y avait en moi un été invincible.
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Ed
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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Ed » 18 Jul 2020 16:34

Just thought I'd say hello as noone has posted here for almost a month! I think I'm up to 20 months now. We had a small scare with our twin pregnancy which tested me somewhat. One is a bit smaller than the other which can mean something but often doesn't. At the moment it doesn't. Week 26 anyway with that. About 10 weeks to go as they will be out early.
Enough time wasted on this.

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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Rachel » 26 Jul 2020 10:26

Well done, Ed, belatedly. So glad the twins are ok.
Rachel

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pickles
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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by pickles » 27 Jul 2020 12:38

Good to read all going ok, Ed ;)?
' Normal ' is just a setting on the washing machine .

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Ed
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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Ed » 04 Sep 2020 19:53

How is everyone? Surviving I hope. Not far off two years for me now. Time flies.
Enough time wasted on this.

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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Lush4life » 06 Sep 2020 05:45

Ed wrote:
04 Sep 2020 19:53
How is everyone? Surviving I hope. Not far off two years for me now. Time flies.
Am here Ed, I lurk at times, great news on your 2 years that’s always good to read , all things being equal I will be 6 years in February so despite life’s trials it can, definitely be done.
Hello to all this dark, very early Sunday morning, up just before 5am when this ole lush awoke 8-) :\: :\:
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
And rent is due Every day.

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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Ed » 23 Sep 2020 10:37

My partner gave birth to two beautiful little girls this time last week. They were a bit premature so still in hospital. Can't wait to get them home. Honestly dont think it would have happened if I hadn't stopped drinking, and wouldn't have managed to do that without the support from this site. Thank you all.
Enough time wasted on this.

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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by silvergirl » 23 Sep 2020 11:04

Oh Ed, my sincere congratulations to you all, such happy news. \:)/ \:)/ Wishing your partner a speedy recovery from the birth and hope that she and your girls get home soon. This site is indeed life changing. :D <:)>

Best wishes,
:geek: sgx
you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Mark. » 23 Sep 2020 11:31

Congratulations, Ed! What fab news \:)/ (::) <:)>
Nie chwal dnia przed zachodem słońca.

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Trojan
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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Trojan » 23 Sep 2020 13:41

Congratulations, Ed \:)/ Best wishes to you and your growing family :)
Au milieu de l'hiver, j'apprenais enfin qu'il y avait en moi un été invincible.
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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Topcat » 23 Sep 2020 13:46

Congratulations on your fabulous new arrivals Ed (::) \:)/ <:)>
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When life kicks sand in your face, build a castle.

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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Wilson » 23 Sep 2020 14:18

Congratulations & good luck Ed!
Can’t imagine having two at same time :shock:
This one is 9 weeks & starting to sleep through the night 💤

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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Tai » 23 Sep 2020 17:44

Fantastic news Ed <:)> congratulations to you both. Just wonderful. \:)/
And I agree ... BE is life changing, at least it has been for me.
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Rachel
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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Rachel » 23 Sep 2020 21:37

Congratulations to you and your partner, Ed!
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Re: Beyond the 1 Year Milestone

Post by Jj123 » 24 Sep 2020 04:23

Wonderful news Ed so happy for you.
JJ
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