Sober May

[fresh-start]

Morning all

I'm afraid my drinking brain kicked in on Thursday. I'd been doing well, hadn't drank on the last day of my holiday as it was the 1st October and wanted to started Sober October properly.

Was perfectly fine Monday to Wednesday. Thursday came and I had a stressful afternoon at work so what do I do? Pop to the supermarket on the way home and buy a 6 box wine deal. Then had to pop back to the supermarket on Friday for bits and pieces and got another 6 boxes to see me through the weekend.

Ashamed to admit I have gone back to drinking 2 bottles a night, it just slips back so easily.

This morning I have woken up feeling low mood/anxious/sweaty/bloated face etc. Just so not worth it. When will I accept I just can't drink and I am addicted. Actually asked myself the question when I opened my first bottle yesterday afternoon, "why am I doing this?!" And the only answer I could come up with was addiction.

So I am jumping back in for Sober October. About to pour the leftover wine down the sink.

Day 10. Total drinking days in October: 5/10. Sorry folks.

x

[fresh-start]

I am weakening already. Think a whole month is too much for me at the minute and might go on to the 7 day challenge at some point. Just not in the zone/mojo or whatever you want to call it Not feeling it!

Good luck with your journey everybody. Some great people on here.

[caroline95]

No need to apologise Fresh, I really feel for you.Good move throwing the rest of the booze down the sink - hold on to the thought that the awful feelings will pass and the rest of October can be so much better

[Lush4life]

I am weakening already. Think a whole month is too much for me at the minute and might go on to the 7 day challenge at some point. Just not in the zone/mojo or whatever you want to call it Not feeling it!

Good luck with your journey everybody. Some great people on here.

Hey freshy, you don't need to look at the long road, one day at a time does work (never heard that before I bet
But joking aside it has , for today , worked for me ;
Live up to your username and give yourself that "fresh start" you so clearly want

[fresh-start]

Thanks Lush!!

Not sure I can give up my prop at the moment.

x

[fresh-start]

Thanks Caroline. I didn't throw it down the sink! Epic fail in Failsville!! x

[Lush4life]

Thanks Lush!!

Not sure I can give up my prop at the moment.

x

Ah freshy, its Not a prop though; a prop helps us ...not "propels" us further down that slippery slope, I know you know this , not lecturing just trying to make you see the crap we tell ourselves

[caroline95]

I have a horror of sounding patronising so I really hope that's not how it comes across, but please do be careful Fresh.It sounds like addiction has grabbed you by the throat and won't let go easily, but you know the longer you carry on drinking the worse the aftermath will be.I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy and I'm worried for you right now.Stay with us

[fresh-start]

You two, I know you are not lecturing or being patronising.

[FuzzyDuck]

Sorry about that Fresh but if you can drink on fewer days, it will still be an achievement to set next month against.

I can't beleeeeve it's already 10 days, I hope everyone who has had 10 sober days is feeling some benefit (it's not always immediately apparent, sometimes it takes 2 weeks of grumpy fog to feel better), and that if you haven't had 10 days, you still feel like getting more in October.

Caroline, I remember the thing with it taking progressively longer to get back to normal. I never want another hangover, they are, basically, mini-withdrawals I suppose. I have a sudden urge for treacle pudding, where did that come from

X Fuz

[caroline95]

Caroline, I remember the thing with it taking progressively longer to get back to normal. I never want another hangover, they are, basically, mini-withdrawals I suppose.

I remember quite clearly that when I managed to stop drinking for a year in 2012, one of the motivating factors was the realisation that I was past the hangover stage and was actually withdrawing.It really scared me at the time, but it meant I was a step closer to accepting that my drinking was way out of control and there was no more getting away with feeling rough for a couple of days and then going back to normal.I still relapsed but at least I take it all a lot more seriously now.

I have a sudden urge for treacle pudding, where did that come from

I would hazard a guess that there might be multiple causes.Firstly,Winter is coming.Secondly, The Great British Bake Off is on tonight and your subconscious has registered this.Finally, you dwell in Northern climes and the need for treacle pudding is in your genes - all resistance is futile

Fresh, I hope you're ok and that you keep popping in to post.

I hope everyone has a peaceful evening, onwards and upwards fellow soberoids

[silvergirl]

Evening all and huge hugs for those that need them. my day has been long and tiring but I am happily tucked up in bed now, ready to do it all again tomorrow. Joy!

Also dancing cheerleaders because day ten, double figures, a third of the way (nearly), woot woo, go us etc!

Fresh, we’ve all been there, up an at em tomorrow lovely.

Fuzzy, hope your treacle pud hit the spot, and Caroline, your comprehensive explanation is impressive, I’m glad to know such a wise soul as yourself.

Danny - I hope you’re whistling a merry tune when you take the dog out in the mornings, might as well go full on chipper while you can.

Wotcher petals to lush, pink, wapati, ajh, smh and sally. Keep on trucking team.

Love to all,
Sgx

[AJH]

Sorry it's been difficult Fresh. Keep posting. Why not do both? 7 day and this one...keep posting and see how you go.

[AJH]

Day 10 done. Unfortunately I've been eating one of the puddings on my blurb below signature for the last three nights. Feeling bloated. Run in the morning as a bit of a purge??? At least it's not booze but feels like even more sugar!!

[DannyD]

Flopping in after a later night than I expected. There was some discrepancy with my money and on the way home I remembered I had a £20 note in my pocket. Aaaaaagh. That's a mini scream. Line manager is still at work and was fine when I phoned.

Still sober though. My brain may not be in the right place, but it's not because of alcohol.

Go octoberites. 10 days is a third - and that's almost half the month (see why my finances go wrong? I don't do sums).

G'night.

[caroline95]

Morning all.It's wet and windy here and I have a difficult day ahead.I'm so anxious I don't know what to do with myself.A walk usually helps with anxiety, but I'm scared I'll get blown over if I try that, which makes me more anxious.But Winter is more or less here and I absolutely have to find other ways of calming myself down.Deep breathing helps a bit, so I'll go and do some of that before scary meeting this afternoon.

I hope everyone has a good day.Fresh, take care of yourself and come back soon.Another shout out for Maria.Shields up for Wednesday

[Topcat]

Hope the meeting went well Caroline

[DannyD]

Here I am at the end of day 11. Day 11. Who'd have thunk it. I want to thank everyone on here for helping. Simply by being here and interacting makes such a difference.

Caroline I hope your meeting went well. Anxiety before an event can be crippling. I realise (as I get older), that I like to get all my ducks in a row (as it were), and get completely panicked if I'm not organised and on top of things before events start. I have no idea how to cope with anxiety - though exercise is supposed to be good, it wouldn't help anyone if you got blown away!

AJH are you our pudding Queen? Nothing wrong with that either. I love a sherry trifle. In the early days, I used to make it with ginger beer.....

waving everyone. I'm away to put a sticker in my diary for another AF day, then bed.....

[silvergirl]

Sleep well dannyd. Legs eleven, indeedy.

Caroline sweetie, i hope the anxiety has abated and your meeting went alright. even if it didn’t, wine will not help! (I know you know this!) I recognise now that I also have fairly severe anxiety at times and without the ‘short cut’ of alcohol to destress have had to think up new ways. Jogging is what I opted for, as if your head is full of stuff and you run full pelt along it is simply impossible to think of anything other than how fast your poxy ex smoker lungs can feed your legs with oxygen before collapse. I could manage 15 seconds when i started and nearly a minute last time I felt the need to completely clear my mind - that’s running as fast as possible. I was actually managing to run for about half an hour at a time before having to stop, albeit slowly, well, at a jog, I suppose! #proud unfortunately I have been laid up for a wee while and unable to jog so have had to consider other, more sedate, ways to destress. Breathing is up there in my top five, as is listening to podcasts or a YouTube meditation. The headspace app is good if your phone is fancy enough to have it (I recently got a new phone and the world has opened to me! ) and not drinking more than two cups of coffee is also a help. That last one isn’t useful when I have already consumed three cups of coffee, although recognising that “you’re just tense because of x, this feeling is temporary, relax your jaw; shoulders down, unclench fists, wiggle toes and feel where your feet are making contact with the floor.. breathe...” can be helpful. Naming and feeling your bodily sensations rather than ‘buying in’ to the anxiety if that makes sense. That’s my long winded way of saying you are not alone lovely lady. Also, yoga. That is all.

Fresh, how are you feeling? Keep posting, there’s hope and a way out.

I am liking the thought of more puddings it has to be said. I had been losing some weight but have decided to abandon that as a plan and may well indulge in whatever sweet stuff takes my fancy.

Yawn. Early night for me too.

Sgx

[FuzzyDuck]

Hope the meeting went well caroline. Your diagnosis of the treacle pudding urge was correct but I also suspect AJH's signature of sending subliminal messages -

- AJH, I have overdone it too on pudding-related matters, let's have a couple of light eating days. Broccoli here I come.

Hey SG, good to see you woot woot indeed, 11 days.

Danny I make that 11/31 which is ... only 19 more days to Hallowe'en. I'm polishing up me ghost stories.