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Sober January

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zelda
Posts: 2005
Joined: 21 Feb 2011 11:12
Last Drink Date: 29 Mar 2019
First Sober Date: 30 Mar 2019
Location: France
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Re: Sober November

Post by zelda » 10 Nov 2019 16:45

Hi all,
So, Friday I failed, and bought a bottle of champers and drank it all and then was luckily just obnoxious with my man but not spiteful and horrid. Drove last night on our meal out with band, and not difficult at all to resist.
SO, it seems I can EASILY now not drink when out, never tempted in front of people to drink, but when ALONE if I have a problem I reach for the bottle to take pain away. My daughter texted me to say she wouldn't be coming home next week as some of the plans had changed; I felt gutted; Drove to the shop. Got wasted. Cried.
Don't know when I am going to be able to DO this bloody thing as I am truly f*cked off with fighting it all the time.
Anyway, at least I am not shying away from here.
Zed
Zelda: "Oh blimey, I could kill a glass of wine".....
Glass of Wine "Oh blimey , I could kill Zelda".....

Maria
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Re: Sober November

Post by Maria » 10 Nov 2019 20:31

Sounds like you have built up your "going out sober muscles",but need s bit more work on your stressed and upset ones Zelda
It's just practice and your still with us ;)?It's frustrating thou,I did drink last week with stress,so more work needed there (w)
Never stop trying... Never stop believing .. Never give up .. Your day will come !

Spats
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Re: Sober November

Post by Spats » 11 Nov 2019 07:56

Setting out on day 11 today ;)?

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zelda
Posts: 2005
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Last Drink Date: 29 Mar 2019
First Sober Date: 30 Mar 2019
Location: France
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Re: Sober November

Post by zelda » 11 Nov 2019 17:02

Well done Spats me lovely. I'm on day 11 minus one. or day two. Or day 10.
Not feeling like drinking at all. It is SO TIRING to drink!
Had a very lazy day here as it is Rememberance day and so bank holiday. Am still in my pyjamas from this morning;. ;)?
Have started making my Christmas cards.
Zedders
Zelda: "Oh blimey, I could kill a glass of wine".....
Glass of Wine "Oh blimey , I could kill Zelda".....

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SoberBoots
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Re: Sober November

Post by SoberBoots » 11 Nov 2019 22:29

I'm staying in Central London most of this week on a course. This is my old stomping ground, full of (drinking) memories. It's so much better sober - I slept really well, decided to walk to the venue as it was unexpectedly clear this morning so got up early, was focused during the day and then met a friend this evening and went to the theatre, involving another very scenic walk with a full moon shining.
Back in the day, I'd have only been interested in the pubs and having wine in my room, I'd have been hungover and grumpy. I enjoy life so much more sober!

Spats, be careful won't you? Over a third through November now and it'd be a great shame to lapse when you're doing so well.

Zelda, one thing common to drinkers is that we lack other coping skills. I don't know whether not developing them led to the drinking as a substitute, or whether we have resilience originally and then lose it through drink. It doesn't matter which way it is. I know that I had the distress tolerance of a bad tempered two year old! We ofetn say that not-drinking is only half (at most) of getting sober. The other half is developing new and neglected areas of ourselves. It's possible to learn new coping skills (google distress tolerance, look at surfing the wave techniques and so on). It's also possible to endure - emotional pain gets processed and passes naturally. It's been a real surprise to me that I have this capacity! I'd say you don't need to "fight alcohol" - you choose to abstain from it. In order to progress, you then focus on building up your sober self.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

Spats
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Re: Sober November

Post by Spats » 12 Nov 2019 01:39

You’re so right Sal ;)? I’ve often caved at the half way point. One thing in my favour is that I have a week AF under my belt to help me through. I’m also in a better place emotionally having the support of someone who cares for me and actually saying to new friends that I don’t drink. I’m going to do my hardest to get through November AF, that’ll give me 37 days AF.

Zelda you are starting to shine through - you seem a different person nowadays. Keep going and your card making keeps you busy and distracted from drinking. (I need a distraction from the sugary foods that have crept in as a substitute (w) )

Spats
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Re: Sober November

Post by Spats » 15 Nov 2019 22:49

15 days and still going strong ;)? Both my ex client and a very dear friend died recently (both had Alzheimer’s/dementia) and I never once thought I needed a drink or cigarette. I hope I’ve cracked it this time but I won’t be complacent

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SoberBoots
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Re: Sober November

Post by SoberBoots » 15 Nov 2019 23:57

Spats wrote:
15 Nov 2019 22:49
15 days and still going strong ;)? Both my ex client and a very dear friend died recently (both had Alzheimer’s/dementia) and I never once thought I needed a drink or cigarette. I hope I’ve cracked it this time but I won’t be complacent
(::) (::) (::)
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

Jj123
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Re: Sober November

Post by Jj123 » 16 Nov 2019 05:04

Well done spats that’s fantastic.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.
Dalai Lama

Spats
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Re: Sober November

Post by Spats » 18 Nov 2019 22:42

Day 18 and still sober and no cigarettes ;)?

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SoberBoots
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Re: Sober November

Post by SoberBoots » 19 Nov 2019 07:47

Nice going Spats!

Quiet in here, innit? How's everyone doing?
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

Spats
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Re: Sober November

Post by Spats » 20 Nov 2019 22:04

Yes it has gone quiet on here SB ;)
Two thirds of the way through November \:)/

Spats
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Re: Sober November

Post by Spats » 20 Nov 2019 22:05

Perhaps everyone is hibernating :lol2:

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Ruby&Tilly
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Re: Sober November

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 20 Nov 2019 22:08

Still here and still sober.

20/30

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)

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SoberBoots
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Re: Sober November

Post by SoberBoots » 20 Nov 2019 22:28

Ruby&Tilly wrote:
20 Nov 2019 22:08
Still here and still sober.

20/30

Ruby xx
(::) (::) (::)
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

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Winkler
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Re: Sober November

Post by Winkler » 21 Nov 2019 23:24

Hello all, hope it’s ok to pop up here again. Check in how you’re doing :\:
So I’ve signed up to a couple of Xmas dos, group ones I can’t really get out of without offending people
Going out with people who don’t know I don’t drink is always challenging
I was wavering a bit today when I accepted the 2nd one, and anxious but think I’ve got my head around it now
The sober school website helped about having a good time without alcohol I’ll post the link in case it helps anyone else https://thesoberschool.com/no-fun-without-alcohol-myth/
That’s all I have today! :)
Alcohol is an addictive poison

Spats
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Re: Sober November

Post by Spats » 22 Nov 2019 09:45

Still 20/30 - slipped up last night (w)

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SoberBoots
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Re: Sober November

Post by SoberBoots » 22 Nov 2019 15:05

Spats wrote:
22 Nov 2019 09:45
Still 20/30 - slipped up last night (w)
I often used to relapse at about the 3 week mark too Spats. Remember what good progress you've made overall though - context is important. At one point you struggled to clock up more than a few days sober. Also you get sober again more quickly now.

For me, I wasn't able to break the pattern until I fully committed to permanent sobriety - but I know this isn't the same for everyone.

Anyway, dust off and carry on <:)>
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

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Ruby&Tilly
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Re: Sober November

Post by Ruby&Tilly » 23 Nov 2019 01:14

Feeling almost back to normal, long may it last. Had a craving for the first time in ages, probably boredom, wasn't that hard to resist.

22/30

Ruby xx
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
352/12 days - sober/drinking (14 April 2018 - 13 April 2019)

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SoberBoots
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Re: Sober November

Post by SoberBoots » 23 Nov 2019 12:09

Glad things are improving Moira.

I'm busy cooking - got a group of frineds coming tonight. One's really irritating when drunk, so I hope she doesn't overdo it. There's one other non-drinker.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
Completed 2018 challenge

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